Straight On 'Til Morning
by Eh Bien
Summary: A sequel to my earlier story, Castaway. Bella and the Cullens deal with threats from a newborn army and establish an alliance with the werewolves, as Bella tries to prepare herself for marriage, immortality, and a new family. This is a revised, low-angst version of Eclipse. AU, canon. Rated a cautious M for mild sexual content. A more complete summary precedes the first chapter.
1. Psychology 101

**This story is a sequel to my earlier story, _Castaway_, and follows the same AU storyline. It will not really make sense unless you have first read _Castaway. _****_Castaway_ was an AU revision of _New Moon_, and this story is an AU revision of _Eclipse_.**

**To summarize: a single change in Bella's experience in _New Moon_ - her father taking her to a doctor for help with her severe depression - changed the way the rest of the story played out. There was no Jacob, no werewolves, no trip to Italy. _Straight On 'Til Morning_ continues to follow that altered history through the events of _Eclipse_.**

**Alterations in the history result in further changes in both events and characters. Because Edward has never gone through the experience of thinking Bella is dead, he is less obsessively overprotective than in the original novel. Because Jacob never became significant in Bella's life, jealousy isn't really a factor for Edward. Because Edward finally came back to Bella instead of making her fly to Europe and reclaim him, she is a little more confident of her place in his heart. And so forth. The changes multiply and a largely new story results. There is also a slight alteration in the timeline, which I attribute to the same butterfly effect that brought about the new plot. **

**A secondary alteration was done purely for my own entertainment. Stephenie Meyer used _Wuthering Heights_ as a template for _Eclipse_. The characters in _Wuthering Heights_ are almost relentlessly selfish, controlling, callous, self-destructive, rash and vindictive; and those in _Eclipse_ are toned-down versions of the same. I wouldn't suggest that _Eclipse_ should be changed, much less _Wuthering Heights_; but I do sometimes mentally correct the characters in books of that kind, wondering frequently why they don't just sit down and talk things over like civilized people. The angst in my story is reduced to a minimum, and everyone behaves just a little more rationally than the characters in _Eclipse_. Again, I'm not suggesting my version is better, but it's kind of satisfying to take charge of that unruly story and force all the characters to behave themselves. **

**Disclaimer: The Twilight series and all its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This story is nothing more than me playing cut-and-paste with her material. **

* * *

It was only 9:30, my homework was finished, my studying caught up. Having my very own superhuman prodigy as a tutor helped a lot with that. I had showered and changed for bed, and still had time to myself before Edward arrived for his second, and unofficial, visit of the evening. I picked up my copy of _Emma_ and opened it to the bookmarked page, at the beginning of Chapter 46. The fact that two characters had covertly agreed to marry, and kept the fact to themselves for months, had just come to light, causing hard feelings among their friends and relatives. I finished the chapter and frowned at the book in my hands. I'd never expected to find parallels between my own life and the actions of any of Austen's characters - not their pairing up and marrying, at least. But here I was with a secret engagement of my own.

I sat there, pondering, for several minutes before I looked up from the page to find Edward standing in the middle of my room, watching me. I never seemed to get used to the way he could appear without making a sound.

He smiled at me. "Why so pensive?"

I jumped up, dropping my book, and threw myself into his arms. We'd been apart for over two hours, after all. He laughed and kissed me hello, allowing me to prolong the kiss for a minute or two before gently detaching me. He sighed at the same moment I did. I felt continually greedy for Edward, for..._contact_ with him, since he'd come back to Forks, and I was getting the impression he felt the same, discreet as he usually was.

He moved past me and picked up my copy of Emma. "Jane Austen?" He smiled at me. "Don't tell me this is what put such a grave look on your face. You seemed so concerned."

"Not concerned, really. I was just thinking about..." I stopped, reluctant to bring up the marriage thing. Edward was waiting patiently for me to work through my aversion to the idea of getting married, but it was a slow process.

He sat down on the rocking chair and pulled me into his lap. "About what?" He kissed my temple gently.

"Well, two of the characters are carrying on a secret engagement. Their family and friends are very hurt when they find out."

"Ah."

I frowned at the book in my hands. "Your family won't be upset, will they? That we kept this from them?"

He hesitated. "They'll be very happy with the news, once they finally hear it."

"I suppose that means yes." I sighed and leaned my head against his shoulder.

"They won't be angry, if that's what you're worried about." He rocked me in his arms. "You have to understand, there really are no secrets in my family. It's unusual for any of us to keep this kind of thing hidden. And they'll see it as exceedingly happy news. They will probably find it hard to understand why we didn't want to tell them."

The reason, of course, was me. "I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt their feelings. It's just that..."

"I understand. You need time to get used to the idea." He was idly playing with my hair. "Another situation that was common enough in nineteenth century novels: the proposal being answered by, 'This is such a surprise! You'll have to give me some time!'"

"That's a little different. _Those_ ladies needed time to decide whether they wanted the guy. I don't have any doubts on that score."

"Are you sure?" He asked so quietly, I could barely hear him.

"Sure about you? Yes! Do you even have to ask?"

"It would explain your reluctance."

Charlie could be heard climbing the stairs at that moment. Edward got up, set me back down in the rocker, placed my open book in my hands, and disappeared out the window before I had time to blink. A few seconds later, when Charlie knocked and opened the door, I was sitting in the chair, calmly reading.

"Bella? Just saying good night."

"Okay. 'Night, Dad."

He closed the door. I could hear the water running in the bathroom, then the sound of Charlie walking to his room and closing his own bedroom door. I sat still, going over Edward's last sentence in my mind. I stared at the first page of Chapter 47, chewing my lower lip, until I heard a faint sound and looked up to find Edward back in my room.

"Charlie's asleep already. He must be tired."

I nodded. "He's been called out during the night twice this week." I set my book aside and went to sit on my bed. He joined me. "That's _not_ the explanation," I blurted out.

"Excuse me?"

"The explanation for my, er, reluctance."

"Oh, that. It's all right, Bella. You don't have to explain anything to me. You're free to..."

"No, it's not all right. I _don't_ want you thinking that. Or even suspecting it. I don't...it's not..." I shook my head in annoyance. "Ugh. I'm no good at this kind of stuff."

He seemed amused. "What kind of _stuff_ is that?"

"You know. Talking about emotions and so forth. I take after Charlie that way. It's not really fair to you; _you_ always tell _me_..."

"Stuff?" he suggested, suppressing a laugh.

"Yes."

"Like how much I love you?" He took my hand and gently kissed the knuckles. "How much you mean to me?" He turned my hand over, kissing my palm, the inside of my wrist.

"Yeah," I said faintly. "Like that."

"How much I long to be able to give you my ring; to call you my fiancée? My wife?"

I gulped, and he laughed at my expression. "Ay, there's the rub."

"But it's not because of _you_! I want to be with you forever. More than anything. It's only that, when I think about things like engagement rings..." I shivered slightly. "I'm working on it, though."

"I know, love. I can be patient for as long as you like. I impose only one time constraint."

I nodded, knowing very well what he meant. Edward wanted us to be married before I was changed. I respected his reasons, but I wasn't as patient as he was.

"I do appreciate that you're trying to work through this aversion to all things matrimonial. May I suggest something that might help your efforts?"

"I suppose so," I said warily.

"It's a technique my former psychology professor recommended."

"You studied psychology?"

"Once, and only to the B.A. level. It was the result of a bet I lost to Jasper."

"You'll have to tell me about that some time."

"Certainly. But about the technique. It works best when you're in bed, getting ready to fall asleep." He pulled back the bedclothes, and I climbed underneath. "You're to lie back calmly and run through the difficult subject in your mind."

"Difficult?" I adjusted my pillow and settled down comfortably.

"Whatever it is you are afraid of, intimidated by, reluctant to deal with. In your case, anything to do with marriage."

"Okay. And then what?"

"Choose some aspect of the feared entity. Close your eyes. Fix your mind on it. Why not start with the engagement ring?"

"All right. My mind is fixed on just that."

"What does the item suggest to you? What does it remind you of, make you think of? Let your mind wander freely."

"Um...diamonds? Jewelry stores?"

"Make it more personal. What does an engagement ring mean to _you_? Imagine having one on your finger." I twitched, and he chuckled. "The ring is there." He touched the third finger of my left hand. "How do you feel about it?"

"I don't know." I laughed nervously. "Like I want to take it off."

"Why? Focus on the ring. How does it make you feel?"

He'd absorbed the standard psychologist jargon, apparently. "Kind of...embarrassed, I guess."

"About what?"

"Big, glittery ring. It's like showing off."

"Mm hm."

"And it means I...I don't know, bought into it all."

"Into what?" His voice was quiet, soothing. I felt as if I could fall asleep without much trouble.

"Getting married. Being the beautiful bride. Having somebody love me forever."

"Tell me why that's embarrassing." His voice made me feel like I was floating, calm.

"It's not what reasonable women are supposed to do."

"Tell me what they do."

"They don't make decisions based on emotions. They don't expect love to last forever." I could almost hear my mother's voice, warning me. "They don't think a husband is the way to be happy and fulfilled. They don't have accidents, and get caught...get stuck in some..."

"What kind of accident?"

"Like me."

"Like you?"

"I was an accident." I yawned. "My being born, I mean. I kind of messed everything up. Mom left, and Charlie..." I lost my train of thought.

There was a short silence, during which I half dozed. "Think of a wedding," he said at last. "Think of yourself getting married."

"Mm." I had fallen into a half-waking state. I felt like I could come out of it whenever I wanted to, but didn't feel like bothering.

Think of _our_ wedding."

"Okay."

"Picture it."

"Big poofy dress," I muttered, closing my eyes more tightly. "And crowds of people watching. Ugh."

"What else?"

"I don't know. Flowers?"

"What about a bridegroom?"

"Oh. Yeah..."

"Can you imagine him, waiting for you as you walk up the aisle toward him?"

I was silent a moment. Strangely enough, it was one aspect of the wedding I hadn't given much thought to. "I guess so."

"Tell me about him."

I frowned to myself. "He doesn't exactly fit in there."

"Why not?"

"He just doesn't. Weddings are so ridiculous. Mom always used to make fun of them. All the pageantry. It would be like I was a character in a play that had nothing to do with me. Everybody in fancy clothes, and my father marching me up there to hand me over like a used car..." I heard him chuckle softly.

"And then, there _he_ is." I could clearly picture Edward as part of my imaginary wedding chaos. "Like…an angel forced to attend a really tacky birthday party. What's he even _doing_ there?" The words were flowing effortlessly, from some usually dormant part of my brain. I'd forgotten that Edward was with me, listening.

"He shouldn't be there, you know, in the middle of all the stupid vows and rituals that don't mean anything. He means _everything_. He's kind, and loving, and…strong, and brilliant. He makes me so happy; no, not even happy, just..._right_. I feel like I was only half awake until I met him. He's my...my blessing. My reward. But...a bridegroom? No, it's..." I trailed off again.

I could feel Edward very softly stroking my hair, and my drowsiness overtook me. "You were wrong, you know," I heard him whisper just before I fell asleep. "You're _extremely_ good at 'that kind of stuff'."


	2. Family

The next day was Friday, and I was invited to the Cullens' house for dinner. I fixed a meal for Charlie and left it in the fridge with reheating instructions, then spent a little time watching the news with him until Edward arrived to pick me up. "My best to Carlisle and Esme," Charlie called after me.

"Okay. See you later, Dad."

"Good night, Charlie," Edward said.

"'Night," he answered shortly. My father was civil to Edward, but not exactly chummy. "See she's not out too late."

"I will."

Edward opened the car door for me, waited to ensure I had my seat belt fastened before starting the engine, and drove away from the house slowly. I assumed Charlie was watching from the living room window.

"Is Charlie feeling any friendlier to you?" I asked as we picked up speed and headed for the highway.

"I wouldn't exactly say friendly, but he's slightly less hostile. He's resigned to the fact that I'm a fixture in your life."

"I'm sorry he's so grouchy with you."

"He's fine. I really don't mind." I gave him a skeptical look. "I _don't_. I understand how he feels. Whenever he talks to me, I can see the images in his mind. What you were like while I was gone."

He kept his eyes fixed on the windshield, his expression grim. I took his hand, and held it as he drove.

Edward had regained his good mood by the time we reached our destination. The Cullen house was a second home to me now, his family as close to me as my own. As usual, I was greeted warmly, given hugs and unsolicited fashion advice by Alice, ridiculed good-naturedly by Emmett, then taken into the kitchen and fed. It was usually a lavish meal; Esme worried that I was too thin.

"What's your very favourite food?" Esme asked me as I ate prime rib, butternut squash gratin, and Caesar salad, brought from a restaurant which normally didn't offer takeout. I wondered which Cullen had dazzled the staff into making an exception.

"Oh, I don't know. I like pizza."

"Everybody likes pizza," Alice observed, "but is it your absolute favourite?"

"Well...maybe lobster, but I've only had it once, a long time ago."

"If it's your favourite, why have you only had it one time?" Alice asked me.

"It's way too expensive. When I was twelve or thirteen, my mom bought one tiny little lobster tail for us to share. She wanted me to know what lobster was like." I saw Esme smile, and knew what my next dinner at the Cullens' was going to consist of.

After my dessert of poached pears with white chocolate sauce, I settled down, full and comfortable, on the living room sofa next to Edward. Whenever I came here to visit, the main event of the evening was my regular instruction session. I was receiving informal preparation for life as a vampire. The Cullens were throwing themselves wholeheartedly into the task of preparing me for...what would happen after graduation. The classes were sometimes indistinguishable from simple chats, stand up comedy jams, or games of Truth or Dare, but they were all informative. I looked forward to them, although some of the information was a little bit disturbing.

"Did you know," Alice said, plopping into a chair across from me, "that Lauren Mallory has attacks of rage every time she sees you?"

"No," I answered, startled. "What did I do?"

She laughed. "Nothing. She doesn't like seeing you with Edward."

"It's resentment more than rage. She feels her rightful place has been usurped," Jasper said from where he stood, further away from me than the others. "If I'm reading her correctly."

"Is that so?" I fumed. "Well, she'd better start rethinking _that_ idea." Lauren figured she had a natural claim on Edward just because she was blonde and had a bigger bust than I did. My dark thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Edward's chuckle. I felt my face get hot. At least he found my homicidal impulses funny, as opposed to awful.

Esme returned from the kitchen and sat down gracefully in a leather armchair. Carlisle sat on the chair's arm beside her. "Now, where did we leave off on your last visit?" he asked.

I laughed. "You'd remember that much better than I would." Carlisle took on the pretense of human imperfection effortlessly, or so it seemed.

He smiled at me. "I suppose so. We were talking about some of the occasions on which the Volturi were called to intervene."

"Yes." I swallowed hard. Stories about the Volturi creeped me out a bit, to be honest, but I didn't want to let on.

"I was going to go into the episode involving the Immortal Children," he said. "If everyone agrees that would be appropriate." He was looking at Edward. Probably considering whether the story would be too alarming for me. "It's an important part of our history."

"And the Volturi's history," Jasper added.

I prepared myself to remain calm. "Was this something you witnessed yourself?"

Carlisle shook his head. "No, no. This was well before my time. I've heard about it from others." He described the strange, inexplicable decision on the part of several vampires of that era, the decision to transform little children, practically infants, into vampires.

I was horrified in spite of myself. "But where did they ever get the idea to do such a thing?" I blurted out.

"Apparently it was...well, what you might call a fad. One individual might have come up with the idea initially, for God knows what reason; and the practice was copied by others. The infant vampires were, by all accounts, incredibly engaging; that might account for it to some extent."

"The results were appalling," Jasper added in a grim voice.

"To say the least," Carlisle agreed. "These little ones had the strength and the desire for blood of any vampire; but they retained the immature emotions, the natural selfishness, of babies. They never really matured beyond infancy. They were unable to control themselves in the least. Villages would be decimated by them. They could not even bring themselves to be discreet."

"We were threatened with exposure," Edward explained, "and the Volturi found it necessary to take action."

"The Immortal Children were destroyed," Carlisle explained. "Along with those who attempted to defend them. And the creation of a vampire from a human so young was strictly forbidden from that time onward."

"That's another one of your laws, then?" I asked.

"Yes. It has never been challenged, to my knowledge, since that time."

"So strange," I murmured, trying to picture the horrifying situation.

Edward squeezed my hand gently. "Perhaps we should move on to more practical matters."

The others seemed to agree. I spent a hilarious two hours being filled in on the wide variety of subterfuges necessary to go unnoticed in human society. I learned that the Cullens had the means to produce convincing fake ID, complete with a background that would stand up to the most intense scrutiny, on extremely short notice. Edward's family were perfectly open with me about their lives, even about the illegal activities that were unavoidable. They truly did accept me as one of them.

I went upstairs for a human minute, combed my hair and took a break from the discussion. The Cullens never got tired, but they made a point of giving me a periodic recess. I wandered through Edward's room and began looking through his vast music collection. The recordings were organized by year, I remembered. I moved through the stacks of CD's until I came to some music from the 1950's. _Music was good in the '50's_, he'd told me. I found a homemade CD bearing a neatly handwritten label that simply read 1955. I came across another one labelled 1952. I took them with me and went back downstairs.

"Would it be okay if I borrowed these?" I asked Edward as I returned to the couch.

"Of course." He took the discs to see which ones I'd selected. "Why these two? They're not likely to be _your_ favourites."

"I'm trying to expand my musical horizons," I told him. "I don't really know 50's music, and this seemed like a good place to start."

"Bella, what time do you have to be home?" Esme asked me. She handed me a steaming cup of what smelled like camomile tea.

"Midnight." I smiled my thanks for the tea.

"Then we have time. We have one other matter we wanted to discuss with you," Carlisle told me. I felt Edward tense beside me, and glanced at him curiously. "We've kept you apprised of the situation at the Quileute reserve. I suppose you remember our previous request?"

"About speaking to them for you? Speaking to Billy?"

"Yes. It seems we will require you to perform that service for us. We've tried on several occasions to talk to Sam, to Billy Black, to his son Jacob, and to their tribal elder. None of them will have anything to do with us."

"They won't even talk to you? But why?"

"They regard us as their natural enemy. The Quileutes we met at the time of the treaty felt much the same, but were less rigid about actual contact. Ephraim Black was willing to confer with us, and trust us to maintain the treaty. His descendants feel more animosity against us than Ephraim's contemporaries, it seems. The Quileutes will not allow me to treat them if they come into the hospital. They will permit no communication. Your help in this would be much appreciated."

"I'd be happy to help. But what is it you want me to do? Just pass along messages?"

"That's part of it, but we would also like you to negotiate on our behalf if necessary. The Quileute may require something from us in return for information, or in order to better establish the truce between us."

"But how would I know what to agree to?"

"We would trust your judgment." Carlisle laughed at my alarmed expression. "We are sure that you know our preferences and could speak on behalf of our interests very well."

"We can fill you in on the details," Alice said. "And if there's a question, you can always tell them you'll talk to us about it, and get back to them."

"Okay. I could do that."

"Excellent. Am I right in thinking that Billy Black visits your father on a regular basis?"

I nodded. "Sure, he's over there at least twice a month. Usually Dad goes to see him instead. It's harder for Billy to visit, because of the wheelchair."

"Perhaps you could find an opportunity to speak with him privately, the next time he is there?"

"I think so."

"Does he sometimes bring his son with him?"

"Jacob? Sometimes. Jake usually drives the car for him."

"If it is easier, you could speak to Jacob instead."

I was surprised. "Jacob? Doesn't it have to be somebody in charge? An adult, at least?"

"Not in this case," Edward said. "Jacob Black is a member of the wolf pack. He can represent them, and bring information back to them."

"Sam Uley is their leader," Carlisle said. "It might be ideal if you could speak with him, but that could be difficult at first. Since the Blacks will be in your house, talking with them would be a simple way of initiating contact."

"Sure." I thought about this a moment. "Wouldn't it be simpler if I went to visit the Blacks at home? I assume all this would have to be kept from Charlie, and that's more of a problem if we're all in the house together. And I could talk to Sam if I went to the reserve."

To my surprise, everyone looked at Edward, who turned to me. "It would be...preferable if you met outside the reserve."

"Why?"

"It's safer." He saw I wasn't going to accept that answer, and sighed. "Werewolves, especially young ones, are extremely dangerous. Volatile, unpredictable, and often violent. The fewer you are exposed to at once, the less danger you are in."

"There's also the problem of the treaty," Emmett added. "We can't cross the boundaries of the reserve without breaking the treaty. That means none of us could get to you if there's a problem. And we might not know there's a problem, because Alice can't see the werewolves, or anybody who's with them."

"Yeah, you mentioned that to me once," I said to Alice. "Why can't you see?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out," Alice said. "It's very frustrating."

"So," Emmett concluded, "It would be hard for us to protect you under those circumstances, or get you back home. That's what's making Edward so edgy."

"Okay, I see. Thank you," I added to Edward, giving him a little smile and squeezing his hand. I could see he was making an effort to keep his word about being less overprotective, and I was sure it must be hard for him. He seemed to understand why I was thanking him. "But if I got hurt on the reserve, or there was some other problem, I'm sure somebody from there would bring me back."

Everybody seemed to look at each other. Edward avoided my eyes. "What?" I asked, looking around at them.

Edward sighed. "Bella, I realize you know these people as friends. They're essentially good, decent people. But...I don't think you grasp the depth of their hatred for us. I've heard it in their thoughts. When Billy Black came to warn your father about me, I heard _his_ thoughts. They may accept you as an envoy for our family, but they will _not_ accept your friendship with us. Most likely, they'll assume that we have gained your trust through some form of deception, or even brainwashing."

"That's crazy!"

"It's how they regard us."

"It's true, Bella," Carlisle said. "They would see you as either an accomplice, and therefore an enemy; or as a victim. And because of that..." He glanced at Edward.

"Because of that," Jasper concluded, "they might have no scruples about removing you from our influence."

"Removing me?"

"If you went on the reserve, they might go so far as to keep you from leaving. If we cross over onto their land in an attempt to bring you back, we've broken the treaty, and they would be free to attack. And if we don't cross over, they can keep you away from us and attempt to 'deprogram' you."

"You're saying they'd kidnap me? I can't believe any of them would ever do such a thing!"

"It's unlikely," Edward said, "but not out of the question. It crossed Billy's mind, when he first discovered we were seeing each other. He didn't go through with it, of course, but we have to be aware of the possibility."

I let all this percolate through my mind. People I'd known all my life were suddenly alien to me. I didn't doubt what I'd been told, but it was hard to take in.

I looked up to find them watching me. "Okay," I said. "Tell me what you want me to do."

Carlisle gave me a fleeting smile. "When you are able to speak privately with either Billy Black or his son, say you have a request from this family. It is possible they will refuse to hear it. Do what you can, within reason, to persuade one of them to hear you out."

"All right. What is the request?"

"There are two, actually. The first request is for information on the death of Laurent. Explain that we have no grievance with them over the assault; we would simply like to pass along the details of Laurent's demise to his friends in Alaska."

I nodded that I understood.

"The second request is more complicated, and may require more than one discussion. We have been keeping track of Victoria's movements for some time. We are aware that the werewolves have pursued her and driven her out of the area on at least two occasions."

This was news to me, but I absorbed it in silence.

"We are as concerned about the threat Victoria represents as the Quileutes are. However, we are restricted in our ability to deal with her. If Victoria crosses the boundary line, we are unable to follow her. We cannot even pass on news of her presence to the werewolves, allowing them to take up the pursuit, since they refuse all communication from us.  
"What we are asking is that the Quileutes agree to share intelligence. We will let them know if we have any indication that Victoria is in, or approaching, this area. In return, we ask that they keep us informed if they should encounter her.  
"A secondary request is that our restriction from entering the reserve be waived if we are tracking Victoria. None of us really expects them to grant it, but you might present the proposal if the discussion is going well."

"I think I've got it." I asked a few questions about the requests, what to do if Billy or Jacob had questions or concerns, and whether I could schedule a second meeting if they asked for it. I was nervous, but too gratified at the family's trust in me to let it matter.

"We should talk about safety," Jasper said. "Billy Black is no threat to you, of course, but his son should be approached with caution."

"I've known Jacob since I was practically a baby!"

"Yes, but you didn't know him as he is now." He obviously picked up on my emotions. "I'm not saying he'd deliberately harm you, but he might do so unintentionally. Jacob Black is a newly formed werewolf. He will be emotionally unsettled, easily agitated. Talking about our family may upset him, and cause a reaction."

"What kind of reaction?"

"He may spontaneously transform."

"Transform? Into a werewolf?"

"Yes."

Carlisle put in, "It is important that you try to avoid making him angry. That is, apparently, likely to cause such a change. If he appears angry or disturbed, maintain a distance between you. If you are close to him when he changes form, you could be injured."

"That's what happened to one of the women on the reserve," Emmett said. "Edward saw it." He tapped his forehead. "She was next to a werewolf when he switched, and got her face all mangled. So keep your distance if one of them's getting riled up."

"All right, but...what about Charlie? Is he in any danger? I mean, Jacob comes to his house all the time!" I started chewing my lower lip.

"It's very unlikely," Edward said. "Charlie will not be bringing up contentious subjects, as you will."

Jasper agreed. "The presence of vampires in the area is what upsets them most, and Charlie knows nothing about that."

I looked at the wall clock: 11:20. "I should get going," I said, standing up.

They all said their goodbyes, and Esme and Carlisle walked me to the door. "We're grateful to you for agreeing to take on this task," Carlisle told me.

"I'm happy to do it," I said. "I just hope I can handle it well enough."

"I have faith in you," Esme said, hugging me goodbye. "We all do."

"Thanks." It was a strange contrast: being the barely-adult high school student with an unofficial curfew and a father who fretted about me, and being trusted with the position of ambassador between two dangerous non-human enemy beings. But then, my life had been full of strange contrasts ever since I'd met Edward.

"Wear your seat belt," Emmett called after me. "Edward's going through enough anxiety as it is."

Alice laughed and started to sing, something I recognized as a song from the 1920's. "_Button up your overcoat,_ _When the wind is free!_"

Emmett laughed and joined in. "_Take good care of yourself,_ _You belong to me!_"

I waved back at them as I walked to the car. Their voices followed me down the driveway: _Eat a lobster every day,_ _Get to bed by three..._

I was grinning as I obediently buckled my seat belt. I sometimes felt guilty for liking the Cullens, if I were to be absolutely honest, more than my own family.

I settled back comfortably in the passenger seat of Edward's Volvo, perfectly at ease, by now, with his insanely fast driving. "I'm sorry if this is hard for you."

"Letting you negotiate with werewolves? Yes, it's an effort." He took my hand. "At least promise me you'll keep Carlisle's advice in mind. They are unpredictable. The situation can change without much warning."

"I will. I appreciate your trusting me with this. I could see you weren't crazy about the idea."

He looked over at me. "It was never lack of trust, Bella. It's just hard for me to be at ease with how vulnerable you are to danger. There are so many things that could hurt you, even kill you. I'll never learn to take that in stride."

I leaned against his shoulder, as well as I could with the seatbelt still in place, and he drove the rest of the way with his arm around me.

Charlie looked in from the kitchen, glancing at the wall clock as I came through the door. It was eight minutes before midnight, the unstated curfew when I was out with Edward, so he had nothing to complain about. Edward, who always saw me to the door, spoke politely to Charlie, and left after a goodbye peck on the lips. I'd already given him a real goodnight kiss in the car, and would see him again within the hour, but I figured not giving Edward some show of affection at the door would only make Charlie more suspicious. Being devious was becoming easier for me.

"How are the Cullens?" Charlie asked. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of milk and a plate of cookies, which I found strangely endearing.

"They're fine. Esme sent leftovers," I said, holding up a plastic bag, which I stowed in the refrigerator.

"Okay. Tell her thanks from me."

"I will." I sat across from him at the table.

"What've you got on for tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? I'm working at the store, ten until two."

"What about Edward?"

"He wanted to take me to dinner and maybe a movie tomorrow night. You could heat up Esme's food for yourself, if you want."

"Sure, that's fine. Billy's coming over in the afternoon."

"He is?"

"Yeah, there's a Mariners' game on at 1:00. Jake's driving him. That's why I wondered if you'd be here. Jake gets kind of bored with baseball, and there's not much else to do around here."

"I'm not sure he'd find me all that entertaining," I said, but my mind was racing ahead. Edward had said he'd be hunting with the family until tomorrow afternoon. I wondered if the Cullens had some idea Billy and Jacob would be coming by. It seemed a little too convenient.

"Maybe you could, I don't know, play Parcheesi or something?"

I reached for my purse. "Do I have to show you my birth certificate again?" He snorted. "No, I'm a few years past Parcheesi, but I guess I can talk to him or go for a walk."

"Good."

I got up to go to bed. "We could knock over a few mailboxes, maybe." He gave me a look. "Shoplift something at the live bait store."

He grimaced. "I know Forks isn't as exciting as Phoenix. Especially for somebody your age."

"Forks is fine, Dad. I've acclimated." I gave him a quick hug. "Good night."

"'Night, Bells." I left him to his fig newtons.


	3. Overtures

I left Newton's Outfitters at exactly one minute past two. Fortunately, I'd been assigned to stocking shelves and unpacking boxes of merchandise that day, rather than dealing with customers. I'd been distracted all morning, thinking ahead to the discussion I had to have. I was hoping I could speak with Jacob alone. Talking to Billy about the Cullens seemed too intimidating, while Jacob was just a kid.

I said goodbye to Mrs. Newton and headed for the door.

"Bella!" she called after me. I turned to see her holding out an envelope. "Don't forget your pay for the week."

"Oh. Thanks." I took the envelope and turned again.

"Hot date?" she asked jokingly.

"Not exactly. My dad had something he wanted me to do."

"Oh, I see. Tell Chief Swan I said hello, all right?"

"I will." I hurried out to my truck, driving a little faster than I was used to, and pulled up in front of the house. Once there, I felt strangely reluctant. I reminded myself that it was just Billy and his son, people I'd known most of my life. I marched up the front steps and through the front door.

The commonplace scene in front of me scattered my fears. Charlie and Billy were sitting on the couch, two opened cans of beer and a large bowl of pretzels in front of them on the coffee table. They were following the game on television and complaining bitterly about the Mariners. Jacob was slumped in a chair in the corner, holding a can of ginger ale and looking intensely bored.

"Hi, Dad. Hey Billy, Jacob."

"Bella, nice to see you again," Billy said. He seemed to look at me searchingly; but maybe I was just imagining it.

Jacob raised one hand in a halfhearted wave.

"Where's the boyfriend today?" Billy asked, pleasantly enough.

"Esme's got him doing chores. We're going out later on."

"Bells," Charlie said, "I think Jake's getting fed up with the game. Why don't you guys go out for a walk or something?"

I looked over at Jacob. He seemed lukewarm about the prospect. "Okay. Let me get some lunch first."

"Sure. Jacob, you want something to eat?" Charlie asked.

That elicited more of a response. "Yeah, thanks." Jacob stood up and followed me into the kitchen.

Seeing Jacob on his feet was a little bit of a shock. I hadn't realized he'd grown so much. "Wow, you've really gotten bigger since the last time I saw you." He wasn't just tall, either; he looked like he'd been lifting weights. When did all this happen?

To my surprise, Jacob scowled at that observation. Getting no reply, I headed for the refrigerator. "Want a sandwich?"

"Thanks, that'd be great."

I took out bread, cold chicken, lettuce, and mayonnaise, then set two plates on the table. I offered him two slices of bread before I realized he was waiting for me to make his lunch as well as my own. I couldn't imagine Billy making all Jacob's food for him, so he certainly knew his way around a kitchen; but put a female in the room, and she's suddenly responsible for all the food preparation. I was familiar with the phenomenon. I sighed and started fixing both sandwiches.

He picked up on my reaction. "Sorry," he said, looking uncomfortable. "I'm not much good at cooking."

"This isn't exactly cooking," I pointed out.

"Um..."

"What?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Could I maybe have two?"

I smirked and made a second sandwich for him, handed them over and sat down across from him at the table.

"Thanks," he said, and started eating. There was no mealtime conversation. He didn't exactly gorge himself, but he devoured both sandwiches before I'd finished one. _Wolfed them down_, I said to myself, suppressing a nervous laugh.

I finished eating, put the dishes in the sink, and gestured toward the door. Jacob shrugged and nodded. "We're going outside for a while," I called to Charlie, who waved absently at me, distracted by something on the television. Billy looked sharply from me to Jacob before nodding once and turning back to the baseball game. I led Jacob down the front steps, then turned down the part of the sidewalk that led to a dead end and an unofficial woodland trail. I thought seclusion would be appropriate.

"Nice day," Jacob observed after several minutes of silence.

"Well, it's not raining, and that's about as nice as weather gets here."

"You liked it better in Arizona?"

"I liked the _weather_ better, that's for sure. But I guess it depends on what you're used to," I added, thinking I might have been rude.

"Yeah." We walked a little farther. "So he's not around today?"

I was surprised by the tinge of hostility in Jacob's voice. "I suppose you mean Edward?" I said coldly, and waited for him to respond.

"Yeah. _Ed_ward." I hadn't imagined the unfriendly tone.

"No, he's busy this afternoon. You heard me say that earlier."

"Right." He kicked a stone out of the way and became silent again, staring at the ground as he walked.

"Holy crap, you're moody!"

He glanced at me. "Sorry."

"It's okay." We'd reached the end of the street and started along the footpath. I had to watch my step to avoid tripping. It looked like this was the time. I took a deep breath. "Listen, I need to ask you about a couple of things."

He frowned. "Okay."

"About that incident in the state park off the 101 a few weeks ago." I'd decided in advance not to start out by saying I was carrying messages from the Cullens. That might shut things down before they began.

He was suddenly alert. "What incident?"

"You know what incident." He didn't respond. "There was a vampire in the woods. The werewolves killed him."

He was visibly startled. "So he told you about that," he said flatly.

"Well, to be more accurate, _you_ told me first; Carlisle and the others confirmed it."

"Why do they have to go shooting their mouths off?" he said sullenly. "People aren't supposed to know about this."

"Then why did you tell me about it?"

"I didn't even know it was real!" he shouted. "I thought it was just stories! How was I supposed to know I'd start turning into..." He clamped his jaw shut and started walking rapidly along the trail, making it hard for me to keep up.

"Jacob! Slow down!"

He glared back at me, and I remembered the warning about not making him angry. I took a step back. That seemed to make him even angrier.

"What? Don't act like I'm going to beat you up or something." His expression became even darker. "Did they tell you that? Warn you I'd turn on you if you weren't careful?"

"Not in so many words," I said cautiously, still keeping my distance. "They just said I should leave a few feet between us if you get upset. They said there was a woman on the reserve who got hurt..."

He slumped where he stood, and all the anger seemed to drain out of him. "Yeah, there was. He didn't do it on purpose, but..." He sighed. "All right. What was it you had to ask?"

"About Laurent." He looked puzzled. "The vampire that was killed. His name was Laurent."

"Oh! And I suppose your Cullens have a problem with what we did. Well, you can tell them to stuff it."

"It's not that," I began, but he was on a roll.

"Did you know the bloodsucker was tracking _you_ when we found him? We stopped him from killing you, drinking your blood. I don't suppose that makes any difference to your _friends_, does it?"

"He was after me?"

"Yeah. You were on one of the trails. He started following you. Not like he wanted to talk, either. Old Quil told us how a vampire looks when it's hunting. He heard about it from his grandfather, or something. You would've died."

I shuddered at the thought. "I remember hearing it," I said weakly. He raised his eyebrows. "I could hear this awful growling noise, incredibly loud, and then the sound of, you know...him being torn apart. I heard it once before." I looked up at him. "I guess that was you. Or were you even there that day?"

"Yeah, I was there." His look seemed accusing. "You were on a motorcycle. What was that about? Since when do you ride motorcycles?"

"I rented one for the day." I wasn't about to go into more detail.

"What do you think Charlie would say about you on a motorcycle?" He smirked.

"Is that your plan? Get me in trouble? Just for trying to talk to you?"

"No! I was just...I won't say anything to your dad," he said grudgingly. "But it's kind of annoying that you and your pals the Cullens blame us for saving your life."

"None of us blames you."

"Then what are you here to gripe about?"

"I'm not! The Cullens have no problem with you going after Laurent. Especially if he was about to kill someone."

He frowned. "They don't?"

"No!"

He finally stopped walking and sat down on a large, flat rock. I sat down as well. "Then what is it they want?"

"Information. They would like to know the general details of Laurent's death."

"Why? So they can pick out some way we acted against the treaty? The treaty only applies to the Cullens, not any other leech they happen to strike up an acquaintance with."

"They're not accusing you of breaking the treaty." I reminded myself to stay calm, although his attitude irritated me. As did the name-calling. "They know some people who were familiar with Laurent."

"Some _people_? You mean other bloodsuckers, right?"

"Other vampires, yes. They want to confirm it was really Laurent who died that day. If it wasn't him, then he's gone missing. And they would like to know the details. The people the Cullens know, they thought Laurent had decided to give up killing humans. If what you tell me is right, they were mistaken about him."

His expression was still wary. "That's it?"

"Yes."

He thought a moment. "Okay, well, I've already told you the basics. I'd have to talk to the others about anything more. I don't know if they want information getting to _them_."

"Good, let me know what they say."

"Let _you_ know. Why are you speaking for them, anyway?"

"Because apparently you guys don't like talking to the Cullens. Carlisle thought you might not mind so much if I was the contact person."

"Nice of him." His voice was heavy with sarcasm.

"Yes," I said coolly, "it was."

"Fine, I'll ask and get back to you."

"Thanks." He stood up and seemed ready to head back to the house. "There's one other thing they want to run past you." He stopped and looked at me expectantly. "They want to ask for collaboration on dealing with Victoria."

"Who?"

"The red haired vampire," I said patiently. "She's dangerous, and we'd all like her out of the picture. But the Cullens kind of have their hands tied. She keeps running over the reserve boundary line every time they get close to her. They can't cross, so she gets away. Maybe she's figured out that they won't go there."

"We're not letting the Cullens onto the reserve! I can tell you that without asking."

"Well, the other thing that makes it difficult is that they can't even notify you guys that she's around, because you won't talk to Carlisle or the others."

"We don't need to. We can take care of the redhead on our own. It's what we're made for, right?" he added a little bitterly.

"You haven't been able to so far. If you really want Victoria out of the way, wouldn't it help to be notified when she's in the area?"

"Only if we could trust the source. Why would they inform on another vampire?"

"Lots of reasons. The Cullens killed her...her friend, James, to save my life. She wants revenge on them. She also helped James come after me last year. And they think it might have been Victoria that sent Laurent to spy on us."

"'Us'," he repeated scornfully, but he was listening.

"Edward tried to track Victoria down, all over the continent, and wasn't able to. And the Cullens haven't been able to catch up with her, no matter what they do. She's tricky. Even Alice can't seem to get a fix on her."

"Who's Alice? The little one, right? Why would she be any better at it than the rest of them?"

"Alice has mad skills. She sort of sees things before they happen."

He looked skeptical. "She sees the future, you're saying?" He started walking down the path, and I fell into step beside him.

"Basically. She has to be watching for it, usually. So if she was keeping an eye on Victoria, the minute Victoria made the decision to come back to Forks, Alice would see it in her future, and know ahead of time that she'd be there. See?"

"More or less. So why doesn't she know what this Victoria is going to do?"

"She's not sure. Victoria may have found a way to get around Alice's ability. Like I said, she's tricky."

"Yeah." He frowned deeply, staring at the ground ahead of him as he walked. For just a second, I was reminded of the boy I used to play with when I visited Charlie every summer. He'd had that exact same expression when he was repairing his bicycle or trying to make a word out of his Scrabble letters. "Does the redhead know about the little one's fortune telling? No, how would she?"

"Long story." He looked at me, waiting. "Well, she used to travel with Laurent. Laurent lived for a while with those people I mentioned, friends of the Cullens. The friends would know about Alice, they might have told Laurent, and Laurent could have told Victoria."

"Right."

"So. Two requests," I said, getting businesslike as Charlie's house came back into view. "Three, actually. Information about Laurent, or as much as you're all okay with; sharing sightings of Victoria; and, if you can see your way to it, collaborating against Victoria."

"Got it," he said. "You'll hear from one of us."

"And tell them all thanks, for saving me from Laurent," I added. He looked surprised. "Thank you, too. Be sure to tell them I appreciate it." I suppressed a laugh as the idea of sending a thank you card crossed my mind. Did Hallmark make a specialty '_Thank you for saving me from vampires_' card? Probably not.

"'S okay," he said. "Wasn't the first time. It's what we do." I left that cryptic comment alone, and we went back into Charlie's house.

Charlie and Billy seemed to expect Jacob and I to keep hanging out together, so he joined me in the kitchen. I made minimal conversation while starting on my homework, trying to be polite but put off by his surly attitude. "How's the work load at your school?" I asked him.

Even this harmless question seemed to bother him. "Kind of heavy at the moment. I'm trying to catch up. I had to miss a lot of school."

"Oh. Were you sick?" He glared at me. Again. "What?"

"You could say that. I had this thing going on."

"What thing?"

"What have we been talking about? I was changing into..." He glanced toward the living room.

I looked through the doorway. "They're still watching the ball game. So," I lowered my voice, "it made you sick?"

"For a long time. And it took some getting used to, afterward." He folded his arms on the table and rested his chin on them dejectedly. "It's not like anybody wants to be that way. It's weird, and it messes up your life. But none of us had a choice."

"I'm sorry, Jake."

"Sure," he said in a harsh whisper. "You're _sorry_. But you hang around with them. You're even dating one of them."

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"It's their fault I'm like this!"

"That's crazy! How is it their fault?"

"Don't you know there were," he lowered his voice a little more, "wolves back then, when the Cullens were in Forks years ago?"

"Yeah, I heard about that."

"And now the wolves are back again."

"I know. Carlisle was trying to figure out why. He thought the whole thing had died out a long time ago."

Jacob shook his head. "They really don't know? The wolves come back when the vampires come back. It's like an instinctive reaction. This happened to us because the Cullens moved back here."

"Oh!"

"That's the way it always happened. Three times, at least, according to our oral history. Vampires come into the area, we go into wolf mode. So it's their fault this is going on."

"They didn't do it on purpose, Jacob. They had no idea."

"Yeah." He leaned his head back down on his arms. At least he wasn't getting mad again.

"They're not out to get you. I know it must be hard, but they can't help that you have this reaction."

"You don't get it. We have this reaction because they're dangerous. It's our job to protect people from them."

"The Cullens aren't a danger to anyone."

"They're all the same, basically," he said darkly. "None of them should exist. They're not natural." I didn't bother arguing with him. "That's why Sam Uley's so mad at you."

"What? What did I do to Sam? I barely know him!"

"Sam was the one who found you in the woods, the day _he_ left you there." I shivered slightly at the memory. "First they screw up our lives by turning us into a wolf pack. Then they disappear, and leave you a basket case. Okay, what do you expect from them? But then _you_, you just welcome them all back like nothing happened. That's why Sam's mad. Why are you hanging around with them, anyway?"

"They're my friends."

"They're nobody's friends," he said darkly. "Next time, they might hurt you even worse."

"They wouldn't do that." He just looked pitying. "You don't even know them! I know you're upset because of this...reaction you all had, but that doesn't mean the Cullens are bad people."

"They're not people. And they're bad by nature." He put his head down on his crossed arms again. "You don't understand. You're under their influence."

I snorted. "Yeah, total mind control. And how do they use it? By pushing me to eat more, wear my seat belt, apply for college. Alice tries to get me to wear more pink, but I mostly ignore her. This influence of theirs doesn't seem very effective."

"Sure, sure," he muttered complacently. "You'll see."

There was no use arguing with him. I went upstairs and changed my clothes. Edward was planning on taking me out to dinner, and I assumed jeans wouldn't be appropriate for whatever place he'd picked. At least we were going fairly early, before the restaurant would be crowded. I put on a dress Alice had found for me, one that was stylish enough without making me feel conspicuous. I tied my hair back with a clip, looked in the mirror and decided I would do, and went back downstairs.

Jacob took in the change. "You going somewhere?"

"Hot date," I muttered, checking my purse.

"More like a _cold_ date." I ignored him.

I saw Edward coming up the walk, and stepped out onto the front porch to meet him. "Maybe you should wait here," I whispered. He nodded, looking at the doorway. He could probably pick up on Jacob's thoughts, which I assumed were unfriendly. I went back into the living room, where Charlie and Billy were watching the post-game review, or wrap-up, or whatever it was.

"Dad? I'm going."

He looked at me. "Oh, right. Have a good time."

"Dinner's in the fridge. Just heat it up in the microwave."

"Okay."

"So long, Bella," Billy said.

"Bye." I looked into the kitchen on my way by, deciding to be cordial, like a responsible ambassador should. "Bye, Jacob. Talk to you soon."

"Sure." I left him sitting at the table, staring dejectedly at the kitchen wall.


	4. Progress Report

Edward opened the car door for me and pulled away from the curb carefully, saving the insane speed for the highway.

"Were Jacob's thoughts very nasty?" I asked as he drove.

"Not particularly. He was mostly wallowing in self pity."

"Do you want to know about our talk?"

"Perhaps we could defer until later. I was going to take you back to my house after dinner, so you can report to the family. It will save you repeating the account."

"All right." Edward took an exit. He seemed to be heading for Seattle. "Where are we going?" I asked.

He smiled. "A little Italian place I heard about."

The restaurant was called Volterra. "That name sounds familiar," I said as he parked.

"It's a town in Tuscany. It also happens to be the residence of the Volturi. I saw the restaurant's advertisement and couldn't resist. The family think it's hilarious that you're going to Volterra for dinner."

"Aha. Volterra for _dinner_. Yes, I can see the potential for humour," I said primly, and he laughed.

The restaurant was busier than I'd expected, but we were shown to a secluded table where I felt more at ease. I was fascinated to find wild boar on the menu.

"Have you ever had wild boar?" he asked me.

"Never. Have you?"

"No, although I've heard good things about it."

"Really?" I couldn't tell if he was joking.

"Really. Apparently it's one of the few really enjoyable herbivores."

I suppressed a laugh as Edward asked the waiter where the restaurant obtained its boar meat. He actually ordered the wild boar. Knowing I'd be eating Edward's meal as well as my own, I asked for a half portion of ravioli.

"No wild boar in New Hampshire, I suppose," I observed.

"No, but the wildlife is plentiful."

"I know I'll appreciate that fact at some point." We talked about New Hampshire and our coming life there, the house Edward had bought for us, while I nibbled on a breadstick until the waiter brought our meals. I started on my ravioli while Edward performed a convincing mime of eating, and occasionally slipped some of his dinner onto my plate.

"What is Volterra like? The original one."

Edward described the town, then the surrounding countryside. I continued to question him, as he talked about some of the places he'd visited over the years. I was fascinated.

"It sounds amazing," I said. "I've never been out of the country, not even to Mexico or Canada."

"We can visit them all together one day."

"That would be nice," I said inadequately. "Well, better than nice. Incredible."

"May I ask you a personal question?" He unobtrusively transferred some of his vegetables onto my plate.

"Sure."

"Are you a Lucy Stoner?"

"Am I a _what_?"

"Do you insist on keeping your maiden name after marriage?"

"Um...no. Well, I've never really thought about it. I don't think so."

"Just wondering. So you can imagine us in the future, Mr. and _Mrs_. Cullen, travelling the world together, and regard the idea with pleasant anticipation?"

"Definitely."

"You do realize, though, that we can't achieve that ultimate, better-than-nice reality without first going through the necessary preliminaries?"

"Of course. I really am working on it, Edward, although it may not seem that way."

"I know. I don't want to pressure you, love, if you have serious reservations. If I thought you had the slightest uncertainty about being married to _me_, I would abandon my efforts. But you assure me that is not the case."

"It's not. Definitely not. It's just..." I frowned at the window, thinking. "When I think about us, together, already married, it seems...wonderful." I caught his eye and looked down at the table, suddenly shy.

"But...?"

"But the things that come before that, the engagement and the wedding, that's still hard for me." I looked at him apologetically. "I guess my mom really messed me up."

"I'm sure she felt she was acting in your best interests. Her first marriage ended badly; no doubt she wanted to protect her daughter from a similar disappointment. In any case, she was a wonderful mother in other respects."

"Not that I disagree, but how do you arrive at that conclusion?"

"By observing the fruits of her labours. You certainly turned out magnificently." I quickly looked around to see if anyone was listening, and he chuckled. "I do appreciate the effort you've been making. I would be happy to help the process along in any way I can."

"Like with hypnosis?_ Did_ you really hypnotize me the other night?"

"No, it wasn't hypnosis. Just a relaxation technique that allows your unconscious thoughts to surface. I thought it might be useful."

"I think it did help," I admitted.

"Good," he said. "Keep me posted."

"Could I ask _you_ a personal question?"

"Of course."

"Why would I be Mrs. _Cullen_? What I mean is, why are _you_ named Cullen? Your last name was Masen, right?"

"Yes, it was."

"I thought you only used Carlisle's last name as part of pretending to be his adopted son." He hesitated so long, I thought he objected to the question. "I'm sorry if that's too..."

"No, love. There's nothing you can't ask me. I was just...remembering. I should first explain something about names. You are probably aware that we change names regularly as we move from place to place. Change identities, in fact."

"Yes."

"You met us at a time when most of us were using versions of our original names, but that's unusual. For future reference, you will have to sometimes alter your name along with the rest of us, in order to maintain our cover."

"I see. So I won't always be Bella?"

He smiled. "You will always be Bella within the family; but sometimes you may have to be known by another name to the outside world."

"But your real name is Edward, right?"

"It is; and everyone is currently using their original given names. It's something of a coincidence that you met us at such a time, and didn't have to be reintroduced to us later."

"I'm glad I didn't have to get used to calling you by a different name." Edward had become my favourite name before he and I had even spoken. It would have been a wrench to give it up and start calling him something else.

"Now, among our kind, surnames are usually dispensed with. They signify a connection to our human family, which no longer exists in any real sense."

"First names only," I nodded. "Like rock stars."

He grinned. "Carlisle used his full name when living among humans. In fact, he kept his real name, until record keeping improved enough to make that a security risk."

"Jasper and Alice told me about the fake ID's and everything, but somehow I hadn't thought about having to change your name every few years."

"It's part of maintaining a cover story. But that was a long preamble to a fairly straightforward answer. I changed my surname by choice, a few years after I came to live with Carlisle.  
"When I came back home after my period of rebellion, we became more like a family than ever. Carlisle had taken to calling me _son_, more as a term of affection than in a literal way; and of course Esme was always like a mother to me. One day, I told Carlisle I no longer wanted to be called Masen. I preferred to take his name, I said, because I regarded him as my father now."

"I'll bet that made him happy."

Edward smiled, the joy the memory brought him obvious from his expression. "Inordinately. He was outwardly very pleased, and accepted my request formally; but his thoughts were positively maudlin."

"I don't blame him a bit. So that's why we'll be Mr. and Mrs. Cullen."

"Yes, unless it's important to you to marry under my original surname."

"Not at all. Edward Cullen is who you are, and I'll be very happy to use that name."

"But not as happy as I will be to bestow it on you."

The waiter came to collect our plates. "Coffee? Dessert?" he asked.

Edward looked at me, and I shook my head. Eating for two leaves very little room for dessert. "Just the bill, please," he said. The waiter left with the plates. "Would you still like to see a movie?" he asked me. "Or would you prefer to go to my house directly?"

"Let's go to your house." Edward's family was usually more entertaining than whatever was playing at the cinema.

Edward paid the bill and walked with me to the car, while images of us, a married couple, travelling the world together, ran through my mind. From there, my thoughts ran to the two of us, after a day of sightseeing, going back to our hotel room for the night. The hotel room of Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, with a Do Not Disturb sign on the doorknob. I saw Edward glance at me curiously, and realized my heartbeat must have sped up. I felt a blush cross my face, and hurriedly got into the passenger seat of the Volvo.

We drove back to Forks, both of us in a good mood, talking about school, my soon-to-end part-time job, my future college career and some of Edward's past university degrees. When we arrived at the Cullen house, I half expected to walk in and find the family gathered by the door, solemnly waiting for my report. Instead, things were very much as usual. Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were sitting at the dining table, playing poker. Esme was sketching in a large notebook something that looked like a cross between a pagoda and a missile silo. Carlisle was in the corner, reading and taking in the activities around him. He was standing bolt upright to read, which I now understood was perfectly comfortable for him; the Cullens no longer took pains to always look human for my benefit.

They greeted me warmly. "How'd you like dinner in Volterra?" Emmett asked.

"Probably better than I'd like dinner in the other Volterra." I sat down on the long, white sofa, and Edward took his place beside me.

Rosalie threw her cards down. "Jasper, stop cheating!"

"It's not cheating," he said, calmly gathering poker chips into the pile in front of him. "I can't help it. _You_ need to stop projecting every time you have a good hand."

"I'm out," she said, getting up from her chair. "We have to get ready, anyway." She flashed up the stairs, followed by Emmett. Esme explained that they were attending some sort of concert or show that evening.

Carlisle closed his book. "You were able to speak with Jacob Black, Bella?"

"I talked to him this afternoon." The others found seats across from me, and Alice perched cross-legged on the back of a leather chair.

"I hope it wasn't too unpleasant for you," Esme said.

"Not at all. Jacob didn't get really mad, only grumpy; and I just ignored the insults."

"He insulted you?" Edward asked indignantly.

"No, not me; all of you."

"Oh, that's to be expected," Carlisle said lightly. "Did he hear you out, at least?"

"Sure. We went for a walk, and he was pretty good about listening to everything. I asked about Laurent, and Jacob said he was there when it happened. He said when they found Laurent, he was about to attack me." Esme gasped, and Edward put an arm around me protectively. "I asked Jacob to tell them all thanks."

"I owe these creatures a debt of thanks, myself," Edward muttered.

"So Laurent _had_ gone back to conventional hunting," Carlisle said. "I'm sorry to hear it, but at least he was stopped before he harmed you, Bella. But go on with your account."

"Well, Jacob said he wasn't sure if he should say anything else about it, so he'd ask the others and get back to me.  
"Then I asked him about Victoria. He said he knew they wouldn't allow any of you on Quileute land, without even having to ask, but he would talk to them about notifying each other when she appears, and maybe working together, and get back to me with that, too."

"Excellent. Thank you, Bella. That's very promising."

"But there's one other thing you should know about. Jacob mentioned it when he was complaining about, you know, being the way he is now. He said all the...the werewolves are angry at you, because they blame you for the fact that they changed. He says having vampires in the area is what caused the werewolf, um, trait to reappear."

"Really?" Carlisle said.

"Yes, he said their oral history mentions at least three times it's happened: the first time you were in the area, and right now, and one other time with different vampires. I don't know if they're right or not, but they're certainly convinced that's the cause."

"Fascinating." Carlisle looked delighted with this new information. "I wonder if there's any way to confirm it."

"So _we_ bring the werewolves out?" Emmett asked as he descended the stairs behind Rosalie.

"Possibly," Edward said.

I looked over at the staircase. Emmett was in a pale grey suit that made him look surprisingly civilized, and Rosalie was stunning in a ballet length dress of vivid blue silk, her blonde hair neatly arranged in a French twist.

"We have to run, or we'll be late," Rosalie said. Emmett tried to pull her into a hug as she headed for the front door, and she pretended to hold him off. "Taffeta, Darling."

Emmett laughed. "Taffeta, Sweetheart!"

I burst out laughing. "Young Frankenstein! You know, that's almost the first reference from any of you that I've recognized right away."

Rosalie laughed along with me. "You'll catch up eventually. You need to watch more classic movies." She pulled Emmett along, giving everyone a quick wave goodbye.

"Have fun, dears," Esme said, and Rosalie gave her a warm smile as she and Emmett disappeared out the back door.

"Okay, Bella," Alice said, gesturing to the abandoned poker table. "It's about time you learned to play Mexican Stud."


	5. Difficult Subjects

Things were quiet for the next couple of days. On Tuesday, I was leaving school for the day, hand in hand with Edward, when he suddenly stopped short where he was.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He stepped to one side, out of the way of the flow of students passing through the doorway, pulling me along with him. He nodded unobtrusively toward the far end of the parking lot. I looked, and saw Jacob, a little distance from school property, leaning against a tree. His arms were crossed, his expression grim, as he watched Edward and me.

The other Cullens came through the door. They all seemed aware of Jacob's presence. They whispered to each other briefly, then Emmett approached us. "What's up, little brother?" he called jovially, grabbing Edward around the neck with one arm and tousling his hair. Edward pushed him away, and they shoved each other playfully. I could see the horseplay was for the benefit of the other students, so I tried to laugh along with them.

They both leaned casually against the building. "He wants to talk to Bella," Edward said in an undertone. "They have an answer for us."

"Oh! Okay, I'll..." I started to walk toward Jacob, but Edward held onto my hand.

"Just a moment," he told me. "Let the crowd diminish a bit."

"She doesn't really need to bother," Emmett said. "You can hear their answer already, without having him tell Bella."

"I'd prefer it that way, but they might perceive it as a slight. Bella is acting as our intermediary; she should be the one to hear the reply." He turned to me. "Unless you'd prefer not to."

"Don't be silly. Jacob doesn't scare me."

Edward sighed. "No, of course he doesn't." We waited until most of the students had left the grounds, and I walked across the parking lot to where Jacob was standing.

"Hi," I said pleasantly.

He was staring at the Cullens, who were now gathered together near Edward's car. "What do they think they're doing? Trying to intimidate me?"

"What?"

"Getting together in a mob like this, when I'm on my own?"

"Jacob, they just left the school that they all attend. You came here as everyone was leaving."

He looked away from the others, actually appearing a little bit embarrassed. "Yeah, I know."

"Then try to stay in touch with reality, okay?" He grimaced. "How's Billy?"

This seemed to throw him off even more. "He's okay. Cranky."

"Well, he does have to live with _you_."

He snorted. "Yeah, there is that."

"So, what's the word?"

I could see him scramble to restore the stern dignity he'd been trying to affect. "Like I expected, it's a definite _no_ to the Cullens crossing the boundary line. And they're not interested in collaborating on hunting the redhead, either. They did agree to exchanging sighting reports. They'll let the Cullens know when there's any sign of her in the area, if the Cullens will agree to do the same."

"They will."

He handed me a piece of paper. "This is Sam's cell phone number. You already have Billy's home number, but it's there, too. They can call one or the other if they have news."

I read the numbers aloud, and looked back at the others. They nodded, and I handed the paper back to Jacob. "Thanks." He looked confused. "Perfect memory. They won't need it written down," I explained.

"Uh huh." Jacob looked over my shoulder at the parking lot. "I think you're being summoned."

I glanced back at the group gathered around the Volvo. Emmett was gesturing 'come here' to me. "Just a second," I told Jacob, and walked over to them. It took a while, as they were all at the far end of the parking lot.

Edward tore a sheet out of his notebook and handed it to me. "Give this to Jacob. They can reach us at one of these numbers, if they have information about Victoria."

I recrossed the parking lot, mentally shaking my head over this mutual quarantine. "There." I handed the paper to Jacob. "If there's any news about Victoria, call either of these. Carlisle's cell number, and Edward's."

He took it a little grudgingly. "Fine. Okay, about the other thing. The one we took down near the hiking trail. We don't have a lot of information, beyond what I already told you. A couple of the guys followed his trail backwards, after we'd taken care of him. We wanted to know where he'd come from, if he'd been in contact with others. It went inland to just west of Seattle, then turned north. It faded out after that."

"Was there any sign of Victoria along this trail?"

"Yeah, she'd been around Seattle recently, but that's no surprise. She keeps coming in and out of the area. She's kind of obsessed with your friends, isn't she?"

"Yes. I told you about that already. She wants to get back at them."

"Yeah. Maybe we should let her. Leave her alone until she gets to them." He gave me a cold smile. No, he definitely wasn't the Jacob I'd once known.

"Letting Victoria do your killing for you _would_ be a way of getting around the treaty on a technicality," I said calmly. "Not a very honest approach, but a definite loophole. Meanwhile, of course, she's killing local human beings, the Cullens aren't. If that matters to you."

I belatedly remembered the warnings not to get him angry. I stepped back a couple of paces as Jacob glared at me, clenching his fists. My retreat seemed to startle him, and he became calmer immediately. "I didn't say we were going to," he said sullenly. "Although it's a nice thought. We'll keep our side of the bargain, don't worry."

"Good."

"Any other messages?" he asked, now coldly polite.

I looked back at the group. Edward shook his head. "Not at the moment. But tell everybody thanks, will you?"

"I didn't see your friends forwarding any thanks," he said mockingly.

"Tell them thank you from _me._"

He shrugged. "Yeah, okay. Um, see you around," he said awkwardly. He turned and stalked off into the trees.

I walked across the nearly deserted parking lot and returned to the group clustered around the Volvo. I'd thought the conversation was a functional exchange of information, but hardly a breakthrough in diplomacy; but, to my surprise, I was embraced, praised and congratulated as if I'd just reconciled opposing factions in the Middle East.

"Carlisle knew what he was doing, sending Bella to talk to them," Emmett remarked, mussing my hair and laughing when I brandished my fist at him.

"Having a longstanding relationship with them makes a difference," Jasper said thoughtfully. "They don't see Bella as an enemy, even when she's speaking for us."

"You handled that beautifully," Edward said, opening the car door for me.

"All I did was pass messages back and forth!" I climbed into the car quickly, uncomfortable with all the attention.

"No, it was more than that," Rosalie told me. "You did everything exactly right."

"Thanks," I said doubtfully. I was pleased to get this much praise from Rosalie.

She and Emmett ran off to Rosalie's car, along with Jasper and Alice, and Edward drove me home as usual. "I'm very proud of you," he told me on the way.

"I _really_ don't know what everybody's making such a fuss about! All I did was talk to him for a few minutes."

He smiled. "None of us would have been able to hold such a civil conversation with him. You managed to keep everything amicable without backing down. He'd planned to stay in control of the discussion, but wasn't quite able to. You have a natural talent for this."

I shrugged. "It's just that I've known Jacob since I was a little kid. It's not that hard to talk to him, even though he's different now. It's kind of tough to see him like this. He's so _mean_. He was such a sweet, happy little boy."

"To be fair, he may not be as unpleasant toward anyone else but us."

"That's good."

He pulled up to the curb in front of Charlie's house. I noticed he was trying to keep from laughing. "What's funny?"

"It's nothing. Charlie plans to have a word with you."

"Am I in trouble for something?"

"Not at all." He wouldn't say any more. I kissed him goodbye and ran into the house.

Charlie was on the phone when I came in, snapping out questions to some unfortunate person on the other end of the line. I quietly started making dinner while he talked. He finally set down the receiver and stood scowling at the kitchen wall.

"Hi, Dad."

He looked at me. "Oh. Hi, Bells. Sorry."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. Well, not completely. There a problem we're monitoring." He sat down at the table. "Three murders in Seattle, one right after the other. They think it's the same person. Practically no traces, nothing to work with. They're not even sure how the three people were killed. All the area police have been notified."

"That's awful!"

"Yeah. Bells...be careful when you go out, especially after dark. This might be limited to Seattle, but it can't hurt to be careful, right?"

"Sure, Dad."

I started on my homework while my casserole baked in the oven, calling Charlie in to eat about an hour later. He asked me a few questions about school. He seemed nervous. I thought it must be about the situation in Seattle.

After I'd washed the dishes, I went to join Charlie in the living room. To my surprise, he switched off the television. "So. Everything okay?"

I could see no basis for the question. "Yeah, just fine."

"Okay." He cleared his throat. "I was talking to your mother earlier today."

"Is mom all right?"

"Sure, she's great. Thing is, she was talking about you and Edward, and how you've been seeing each other for a while now."

"Uh huh." I had no idea where this was going.

"See, she kind of assumes...well, your mother considers you very mature for your age. And you are," he quickly added. "I give you credit for that."

"Thanks," I said, wondering where this was leading.

"And I know you're not one to be irresponsible. But all the same, you're still young. It can be easy to make mistakes, and sometimes one little mistake can ruin your whole life."

I nodded. Was this going to be a drug talk? Charlie had never given me an official one of those.

"I wouldn't want to see that happen to you. I'm not going to be unrealistic. I know how things are with young people; I can't expect...but I just want you to be aware of the consequences, you know. To be careful."

I frowned. Could I ask him directly if he was talking about drugs? "I'm not sure exactly what you're, um..."

He looked extremely uncomfortable. "Bells, when you've been going out with the same guy this long..."

"Oh!" I felt my face get hot. "Dad! Thanks, but that's _really_ not necessary!"

"I'm your father," he said stoically. "I have a responsibility to make sure you're not being, er, unsafe."

"It does not apply in my case, Dad. I'm not...Edward and I..." I sighed, seeing no way out. "Dad. I'm a virgin, okay?" We both flinched. "And I'm definitely staying that way for the foreseeable future." I realized there was a little edge to my voice as I said it.

He seemed relieved. "Well, that's..." He cleared his throat again. "Thing is, Renee seemed to think this would be better left to the professionals, so I stopped by this clinic on the way home." From the way he cringed as he mentioned it, I could tell he wasn't talking about an optometry clinic. "I picked up a bunch of pamphlets. The woman there chose most of them for me, really, but they seemed to have a lot of good information. You know, if you should ever need it. I left them in your room."

"Oh. Thanks, Dad."

"I hope you don't mind that...I mean, since you don't actually need them...I didn't want to assume, but your mother thought..."

I put him out of his misery. "It's okay. It's always good to have the information, you know, for later."

"Right."

"I really appreciate your doing all this for me, Dad." I honestly did, awful as it all was. It couldn't have been pleasant for Charlie.

"It's nothing."

I gave him a hug. "I'm going to go study." I grabbed my books and ran up to my room. I was grateful to Charlie for what he'd tried to do, but that didn't mean I wanted to stick around for a possible reprise.


	6. Interesting Conversations

I was ready for Edward when he came through the window an hour later. "You might have warned me!"

He laughed, obviously knowing very well what I meant. "It wasn't my place, love." I sniffed contemptuously, and his smile widened. "And I couldn't pass up the opportunity."

"You were listening?"

"I'm afraid so." I groaned in dismay. "These pamphlets he mentioned sound intriguing. What was in them?"

"Nothing I'd be interested in discussing." I made a face. "I have this image of Charlie wandering around a Planned Parenthood office, looking like a deer caught in the headlights."

Edward chuckled. "Yes, it was an ordeal for him."

"At least I was able to assure him that his daughter was untouched, and likely to remain that way for a long time."

He moved closer, putting his hands gently on my shoulders and leaning down to kiss my throat. "Not a _very_ long time," he said in a low voice. "Not if I have anything to say about it."

I stopped breathing for a moment. That was the most interest he'd ever openly expressed. He seemed to see the surprise on my face. "Bella, love, this can hardly come as a shock to you," he said, giving me an impish grin. "We _are_ engaged, however unofficially. I hope you weren't counting on a celibate marriage?"

I managed to swallow. "No," I said. "I have absolutely no interest in a celibate marriage. None whatsoever." He laughed and kissed me again. "I sometimes kind of wondered whether _you_ did, though," I added, and immediately thought the better of it. He didn't seem offended.

"Hmm. I suppose I can take that as either a tribute to my composure, or another sign of how very unobservant you can be." He continued kissing me, along the curve of my jaw and down my neck. My eyes slid closed and I leaned closer to him. "No matter. I will have ample opportunity to disprove that assumption." His lips followed the line of my collarbone and moved up the other side of my neck.

I sort of wanted to say something clever back, but I was occupied with trying not to hyperventilate. How did he make merely kissing my neck feel so _good_? I twined my fingers in his hair, relishing the silky texture, and he held me closer, his cold hands lightly stroking my back, sending little quivers of pleasure through my body. He nuzzled the sensitive spot just under my ear, and I moaned softly. He sighed, carefully unwound my arms, and took a step away from me. I staggered a little, and he took my arm briefly to steady me.

Edward didn't make his usual joke about my risking my life enough for one night. He touched my face briefly and turned to look out the window a moment. "Are you ready to sleep?" he asked, turning back to face me.

Hardly, I thought. "No, not quite yet. I have to email my mother. She gets upset if I don't answer her messages right away."

He nodded and studied my bookshelves while I sat down at the desk and waited for my computer to warm up and myself to cool down. I answered my mother's questions, responded to her news, added a little of my own. I considered mentioning her recent talk with Charlie. I remembered Charlie saying _Your mother assumes_... I could correct her assumptions, but that would lead to more questions. She would get the details from Charlie eventually. That led my thoughts back to Edward, and I quickly refocused on the contents of my email before I got too distracted. I added a few more lines and hit Send.

I shut down the computer, stretched, and headed for my bed. I could hear Charlie walking up the stairs; when I turned, Edward had vanished. My bedroom door opened and Charlie looked in. "Hey. Remember to give your mother a call tomorrow, all right? I told her you would."

"I just sent her an email a few minutes ago."

"Oh. Okay, good. G'night, Bells."

"'Night, Dad."

I heard him walk to his own room and close the door. I lay in bed, staring drowsily at the ceiling, until I caught a glimmer of movement from the corner of my eye, and turned to find Edward standing at the window. He smiled and sat down on the bed beside me. "You look tired."

"A little."

He lay down, and I gave him only a brief kiss before curling up beside him. I kind of wanted to push boundaries a little, but it didn't seem like a good idea, not if I hoped to get any sleep at all.

I woke to find Edward sitting in my rocking chair, wearing a different set of clothes. "Good morning, love."

"Good morning." I sat up, glancing at the window.

"Yes, I went back to the house during the night. Carlisle phoned and asked me to come back."

"Is something wrong?"

"Nothing you need to be concerned about," he said lightly.

"Uh huh." Grabbing my clothes for the day I walked groggily to the bathroom. Charlie's bedroom door was open; he was already at work. I washed, brushed my teeth, dressed and headed back to the bedroom, where I sat down at my desk and looked at him.

"Is this a staring contest?" he asked. "You should be aware I'm at a considerable advantage."

"What is it I don't need to be concerned about?"

"It's nothing, love."

I didn't argue. I headed downstairs for breakfast, and he followed, watching as I poured out a bowl of cereal, sliced a banana on top, and sat down at the table. He joined me. After a few minutes of silence, he asked, "Are you ready for your English exam?"

"As ready as I'll ever be. Thanks for the tutoring."

"It was my pleasure." After a brief silence, he said, "I suppose you're planning to ask Alice what Carlisle was calling about."

"Yep." I kept eating.

He looked resigned. "All right. Alice had a glimpse of Victoria, coming back into Forks. Her intentions keep fluctuating, so it's hard to know exactly what she means to do once she gets here. We're ready for her, but we were concerned about keeping you out of the way while she's in the area."

"Me? Why?"

"Her plans for revenge may include you. You were, after all, the catalyst for James' death; and she realizes you're considered part of the family, incomprehensible as she finds that fact."

"Okay. But where do I go to be out of her way? Locking the door isn't going to help."

He smiled. "No, but your being at a distance will. I was going to propose using your airline tickets this weekend."

"Go visit Mom this weekend? I guess I could do that, if it would help."

"And I could go with you."

"That would be nice, but don't the family need you to help with Victoria?"

"Not at all."

I started chewing my lip. "Are you in danger? Tell me the truth, Edward."

"Truly, we are not. Even if I leave, there are six of them against Victoria. Jasper could overcome her on his own, let alone with five comrades."

"Jasper? Not Emmett?" Jasper was smaller than Emmett, and seemed quiet and unassuming. I was surprised to hear him singled out as the most formidable in a battle.

"No. Jasper is...well, it's quite a long story, which you'll hear eventually. No, the issue is not that we are in any danger; it is keeping Victoria from escaping again. She is incredibly fast, and always seems to be a step ahead of us. We'd like to get the matter resolved. She's a threat to you as long as she's at large."

"I see."

"So it would be very much appreciated if you would agree to be in Florida at the time. Alice expects her to arrive between four and five A.M. Saturday."

"That's fine. I'd like to see Mom again, anyway." A thought came to me suddenly, leaving me slightly stunned. "It might be the last time. She doesn't think she can come up for my graduation."

Edward took my hand, watching my face in silence.

"I'll have to try and forget about that," I said. "Or I won't be able to act normal around her."

"It doesn't _have_ to be the last time, love."

I just shook my head and went back to my cereal. I didn't want to think about that right now.

The school day went by quickly. I actually dashed through the English exam with ease. Edward's tutoring was keeping my grades almost as high as they had been when he was away. I flinched inwardly as that memory passed through my mind.

When the final bell rang, I proceeded outside and headed for Edward's car as usual. I waved to Alice and Jasper as they came out the door. Alice quickly gave Jasper a warm hug, her feet leaving the ground as she did, then ran across the parking lot to join us. "Mind if I tag along?" she asked me brightly, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. "I thought I'd pop in and say hello to Charlie."

"That's fine," I said, surprised.

"And then, maybe, we could drive to Port Angeles for a little shopping?" I sighed. "You're going out of town for the weekend, Bella. That certainly calls for a new outfit."

I agreed with reasonably good grace. She hopped into the back seat of the Volvo. A moment later, Edward chuckled. "Alice has other reasons for coming along with us," he explained. "She sees Charlie accepting our weekend trip much more easily if she's there."

"Oh! Thanks, Alice."

"Don't mention it. We also have to make a quick stop at the house on the way back from shopping." I saw Edward glance back at her and grimace.

"Is something wrong?"

"Nothing serious. We tried to give notice about Victoria coming back, but the megadogs won't take Carlisle's call."

"Good grief," I muttered. "They're so stubborn! How did you ever manage to make a treaty with them?"

"It's not the Quileutes in general," Edward said. "They're reasonable people, although it's best to be cautious when dealing with werewolves. It's just that they see co-operating with us as being in league with the forces of evil. Ephraim Black was an exceptional leader with a great deal of discernment. There aren't many like him."

"Certainly not in the present generation," Alice said. "Anyway, Carlisle was hoping you could telephone one of them yourself, while you're at the house."

"Sure, I'd be glad to."

Edward parked in front of Charlie's house. Alice leaned over the back of my seat. "Let me bring up the tickets first, then say you hoped to use them to visit your mother. The fact that Edward's going with you can be saved until last."

"If you think that's what will work," I told her.

Once my weekend visit to Mom's had been arranged to Charlie's satisfaction, I phoned Mom to clear things with her. She was ecstatic, of course. Edward and Alice left for home, and I made a particularly nice dinner for Charlie to make up for upsetting him. He didn't care for the idea of my travelling across the country with Edward.

Alice came back to the house just as I was finishing up the dishes, and we headed out to Port Angeles for Alice's retail therapy. She had a wonderful time picking out new items for me, and I tried to show some enthusiasm.

We took a break in the food court. "How did you get so interested in fashion?" I asked her. "Did you always like that kind of thing?"

"As far as I can remember. You know my memory only goes back to the time I was changed. Jasper has a theory about it." She grinned. "You know what I told you about going back to Mississippi and looking up my relatives and all?"

I nodded. Alice, the former Mary Alice Brandon, had a strange human history, having been committed to an asylum, possibly for sinister reasons, by her family.

"Well, Jazz thinks the reason I love nice clothes and hair and all, is because I was locked up in a place that clipped all my hair off and made me wear some drab institutional uniform all the time."

"It makes sense," I agreed. "You don't remember any of it at all? Not even glimpses?"

"Nope. I don't even remember changing. I opened my eyes, felt the thirst, and saw an image of Jasper; then, a little later, an image of Carlisle's family. That's my earliest conscious memory. Anyway, his theory does make sense, although sometimes I like dressing up other people even more. You, especially."

"Why me?"

"For one thing, because you're a blank canvas. You don't have the first clue about dressing yourself. It's exciting to start from square one like this."

"Great," I said drily, and she giggled.

"And also, I do it for Edward."

That startled me. "Edward? Why? He...doesn't like the way I dress?"

"Oh, it's not that. You'd look beautiful to him if you were wearing a flour sack and gum boots. But it bothers him that you don't recognize that fact. I thought a better wardrobe would give you some confidence. Of course, I tend to think clothes are the answer to most problems."

"I realize."

"He really does think you're the most beautiful woman on earth. He must have told you so. Do you think he's just flattering you?"

"No, it's not that. I don't think he's lying. It's just very hard to take in." I frowned down at the table. "I never got any attention from boys, you know, before I moved here. None at all. Not until Edward. I could see what kind of girls _did_ get attention, and I didn't look like them."

"You're from the wrong decade."

"I'm what?"

"Do you know what a Gibson Girl is?"

"More or less. Kind of a pinup girl from the 1920's, right?"

"Earlier than that. During Edward's time. She was the ideal of feminine beauty at that time. Slender, soft, dark hair, big eyes, delicate face. You look exactly like one of them."

"I do?"

"Honest. That would make you kind of second-string to modern-day high school boys, but a dream come true for a young man from, oh, let's say 1918." She smirked at me. "Besides, even if that's what attracted him in the first place, it doesn't matter any more what you look like. Edward loves you. You understand what that means for one of us, don't you?"

"Kind of. Edward told me a little bit. Your feelings don't change."

"Not those kind of feelings, no. You might be able to stop loving Edward - or maybe you can't; we're not sure - but he can never stop loving you. He can't even love you a little bit less. You'll see what it's like, one of these days."

"Thanks, Alice. And...thanks for helping me find clothes."

She laughed. "You're more than welcome."

"Can I ask you something else? I don't want to be offensive..."

"Ask me anything." She sat up, interested.

"It's about the thirst. I've heard it talked about, but I still don't have a clear idea of what to expect. I mean, you call it thirst, but obviously it's not like human thirst. When we get thirsty, we don't..." I hesitated.

She giggled. "You don't go into a frenzy, dash madly across the room and tackle a carton of lemonade?"

"Something like that, yeah. And Esme said it's painful a lot of the time."

"There's a burning sensation," she agreed.

"Does it hurt you right now?"

"Naturally. I'm surrounded by humans." She smiled at my expression. "It's not that bad. You get used to it. I hardly notice most of the time, unless I'm really thirsty."

"How does that work? If it's been a long time since you've, um, hunted, it gets...what? More painful? Harder to control?"

"Harder to control, mostly. It's like..." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "It's hard to find a comparison, because I don't think it's quite like any human experience, but it's a little bit like sex." She looked at me and laughed. "You're blushing."

"How is it like...?"

"Well, I'm basing this on what I know about human sexuality second hand. Let's say that you've been getting some on a regular basis." Something in my face made her giggle and pat my hand. "In that case, you wouldn't be suffering from a lot of uncomfortable cravings, right? In a healthy young person, there would always be this underlying current of desire that never quite subsides, ready to come to life if the right stimulant presented itself. It would never completely go away, but mostly it would be easy enough to ignore. You could think about other things. Know what I mean?"

"I think so."

She grinned at me. "But if time went on, and you were abstaining from sex, the desire would increase, get harder to ignore. It would take less to set it off. Thirst is like that. That's why we make sure we hunt at least every two weeks.  
"Now, sex is different from thirst in one way: lust is kind of self limiting. It varies day by day, and if it's ignored long enough it will subside. Thirst never does. If we don't hunt, the thirst will just grow and grow, and we'd become dangerous. When the thirst is strong enough, or the stimulus intense enough - like if there's fresh blood in the room - it becomes sort of a reflex. Our muscles clench, we have to actually repress the physical impulse to spring on...whatever. I'm not upsetting you, am I?"

"Not at all. I think I understand much better now. It doesn't bother _you_, does it? Talking about it like this?"

"No. That's another way sex is different from thirst. Thinking and talking about sex usually makes you want it more. Thirst isn't like that. In fact, talking about it, what makes it easier, what makes it harder, is one thing that helps our family do what we do. It will makes things easier for you, too, when the time comes. Are you concerned about that part of it?"

"Kind of. I don't want to hurt anyone."

"Don't worry, Bella. We'll look after you, make sure you stay safe. It gets easier after the first few months or so."

"Thanks for explaining all this."

"I'm happy to. Ask me anything, Bella." She got up and pulled me to my feet. "We have time for one more store."

We dragged our shopping bags to the car just before the mall closed. Alice drove us to the Cullen house from there, and I was able to participate in a short discussion of wedding gowns during the drive. I felt a little more tolerant of Alice's fashion obsession than I had been.

I was met with the usual warmth, and Esme offered to fix me something to eat. "Thanks, but I can't stay long," I told her. "Charlie likes me home by ten on school nights."

"Then we'll proceed with the necessary phone call," Carlisle said, handing me his cell. "We will have to call Billy Black's number. Sam Uley does not pick up the phone when I call. I think he may be ignoring calls from my number. Billy Black answers, but immediately hangs up when I identify myself."

"I see." That made sense. Billy didn't have Caller ID. In fact, he still used a rotary dial phone. I entered Billy's phone number, and heard a click and a muffled '_Hello?_'

"Hello, Billy? It's Bella."

"No, this is Jacob. My dad's over at the Clearwaters' place."

"Oh! Hi, Jacob."

"Charlie's there, too. Didn't you know?"

"No, I've been out." Charlie had been spending a lot of time at Sue Clearwater's place. I had my theories about that.

"Okay. So what's up?"

"I've got a message for you. For all of you, that is. Victoria's going to be in the area this weekend."

"What? How do you know?"

"Alice saw it. I told you about Alice, remember?"

"Sure, I remember. When?"

"She'll be arriving late Friday night, or very early Saturday morning."

"Got it."

"That's it, except that the Cullens have been trying to pass this information along, and couldn't. Your dad would hang up if Carlisle phoned, and Sam wouldn't take his calls. There's no point having this agreement if you guys won't hold up your end."

"I'll ask Sam about it," he said stiffly. "Anything else?"

Edward whispered in my ear, and I replied, "If you can convince Sam to do it, it would help if you and the Cullens could keep each other notified if you encounter Victoria."

"How about they call you instead?"

"I won't be here. I'm visiting my mom in Florida for the weekend. It seemed like a good time to be away."

"Yeah, I guess it is. Okay, I'll pass on the message."

"Thanks."

"'S'okay. Bye." He hung up.

I handed Carlisle his phone. "Honestly! They're so pigheaded!"

"_You_ seem to have no trouble getting along with them," Rosalie remarked. I looked up in surprise at her tone of voice. "You must have something in common."

"Well, I've known some of them my whole life. They're friends."

"Not for long." I blinked at the spiteful look on her face. Rosalie had been so pleasant to me lately, I'd thought we were past our differences.

"Rosalie," Esme said quietly, "Bella is doing us a favour by helping us deal with Victoria."

"Victoria wouldn't be a problem for us in the first place if it hadn't been for her," Rosalie pointed out bitterly. Emmett placed a hand gently on her shoulder. I couldn't tell whether it was to comfort or to restrain her.

Edward stepped in front of me, his expression furious, but Carlisle held up a hand to stop him. Rosalie turned abruptly and left the room. Emmett gave me an apologetic smile and followed her.

I felt Edward's arm around me. "I'm sorry. Did I say something wrong?"

He laughed humourlessly. "No, not at all. It's just Rosalie's...manner."

"She's upset by the situation," Esme explained, "and it tends to make her lash out."

"I think the werewolves make us all less civilized," Alice said. "If you lie down with dogs, you get up with bad manners. You're right, Bella: it's annoying how unreasonable they are."

Carlisle smiled. "I can understand how they feel, especially since this recent change. Edward tells me Jacob Black resents us for causing his transformation. Perhaps the others feel the same."

"How many others are there?" Jasper asked him. "Do you have any idea?"

"No, not really. I only know of three for certain: Jacob Black, Sam Uley, and Seth Clearwater."

"There are at least three more,"Edward said quietly. "I saw them in Jacob's mind."

The family took this news in uneasy silence. I'd been thinking of the werewolves as people I'd known for years, not as a threat; now I shivered as the situation became truly clear to me. At least six beings capable of killing any of the Cullens - any of my family - were wandering around with a serious grudge against them. Just as Victoria was doing the same. I wanted to cancel my trip, to stay here in Forks while the family was in danger, but I know better. I'd only be a liability to them. I was afraid for them, but all I could do for now was to stay out of their way, and hope for the best.


	7. Another Try

I became uneasy on my way home from Mom's. I had tried to set aside both the situation back in Forks, and the thought that it might be the last time Mom and I saw each other. I couldn't keep thinking _this might be the last time I hear my mother's voice,_ or _the last time I talk to Phil,_ or _the last time I eat a real enchilada_, or I'd drive myself crazy. I tried to focus on just being with Mom.

Once the visit was over, I was free to start worrying again. Edward received a phone call as we were sitting in the plane, waiting for takeoff. I felt him become alert as he listened. "When?" he asked sharply, then, "How close did she get?" He listened intently for a moment. "They're about to ask us to shut down our phones for the flight. I'll see you all in a few hours." He listened again for a moment, said goodbye and turned his cell off. He took my hand and sat back, staring at the control buttons over his seat.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. The family send their love."

"That's nice, but that is _not_ why they called."

He sighed. "No, it's not."

I waited impatiently while the flight attendant stopped to ask us to turn off electronic devices and fasten our seat belts. She seemed to linger a bit longer than necessary at Edward's seat, and I resisted the impulse to give her a death glare. Edward noticed my irritation, raised my hand and kissed it.

"I wonder if I'll ever become reconciled to women falling all over you."

"I just wish you could understand how little their attention means to me. How completely insipid and uninteresting they are compared to you." He turned to me, his expression surprisingly intense. "I would_ love_, just once, to see that knowledge in your eyes. To know you see yourself the way I see you. I wish I could _make_ you see it. 'I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees'."

I reminded myself to breathe. "That sounds like a quote."

He nodded, kissing my hand once more. "Pablo Neruda."

I leaned my head against his shoulder as the plane began to taxi down the runway and the flight attendants began to explain the emergency landing equipment. "Distracting me will only work for so long, you know."

"I know. And it wasn't only a distraction." He pressed his lips to the top of my head.

"What happened?"

"Victoria made her appearance as expected. She got away."

"I'm sure there's more."

"Alice saw her - foresaw her, that is - heading for your father's house."

I gasped, horrified. "Charlie?"

"He's fine. She didn't actually approach the house."

"Maybe that was because everyone was nearby."

"It's very possible."

"Is she after Charlie now? Why?"

"I think it's more complicated than that. Alice continues to find it very difficult to track Victoria. Her intentions seem to change constantly. The family thinks she's still trying to elude Alice's vision."

"And it's working."

He put an arm around me. "We're going to talk about it when I get home. Jasper wants to rethink our strategy." He pulled me closer. "Charlie will be safe, love, and so will you. Victoria can't enter Forks, or approach your house, without ultimately deciding to do it. However long she avoids the decision, eventually it will be made, and Alice will see it. We'll be on our guard until then. She will not get past us."

I nodded, and we talked about other things until the plane landed.

Edward drove me home, carried my bag to the front door, gave Charlie a polite greeting, and left. I joined Charlie at the kitchen table, where he was reading the newspaper.

"Did you have dinner?" I asked.

"Yeah. Esme's leftovers lasted me through Friday and Saturday, and then today I ate at the Clearwaters'." So Sue was cooking for him now? I decided not to comment on that.

"That's good. I'll get groceries tomorrow after school."

"Thanks. Your mother called me a little while ago. She said the visit was good."

"Yeah, I had a nice time."

"She was okay with Edward being there?"

"Sure. Mom _likes_ Edward."

"Yeah, I know. Well. He's a good guy, I guess. All in all."

Not exactly effusive, but since that was the nicest thing Charlie had ever said about Edward, I wasn't going to nitpick. "How's work?"

"Pretty quiet here, but I'm a little worried that the situation in Seattle will start moving this way."

"That's still going on?"

"Oh, yeah." He showed me the paper, pointing out an article on the front page. Two more unexplained disappearances. "The police there are stumped. It's got to be the same person, or at least the same gang, but the events have almost nothing in common. No ransom demands on any of them. And there's never any witnesses, no trace evidence, suspicious phone records, _nothing_. They're calling on every police force in the state to share information on similar crimes, or just pass on any bright ideas they might have." He shook his head in disgust. "Big cities! Don't you dare set foot in Seattle, not until this is resolved."

"I won't." Although Forks was probably far more dangerous to me than Seattle ever could be.

He changed the subject, and we talked for a while about household matters, and how Sue Clearwater and her kids were doing, and whether I needed to take my truck in for a tune-up and oil change. It was a very relaxing conversation until he mentioned my upcoming graduation, and my plans to attend Dartmouth next year. It was tricky to keep Charlie convinced I had my tuition and expenses paid in full by scholarships and grants, without going into too much detail.

Although I assumed my acceptance to Dartmouth had been purchased through donations or outright bribes by the Cullens, I didn't fight it. It wasn't as if I'd be in any condition to attend classes at that point.

"I'm proud of you, Bells. It took a lot of hard work to get the grades you did. Especially when you were also working part time, and taking care of me and the house."

"_You're_ no trouble." He gave me a skeptical look, and I laughed. "I've got a little homework I didn't get a chance to finish. Good night, Dad."

I ran upstairs, showered and changed, and sat down at the computer desk with my biology textbook. Final exams were coming up, and I was feeling the pressure, especially after missing a weekend's worth of studying. I worked doggedly through the material for an hour or so, moved on to History, paused briefly as Charlie looked in and said goodnight, finished my English homework, and finally decided to take a break. I looked through the CDs I'd left scattered on top of my dresser, and noticed the two I'd borrowed from Edward. I hadn't got around to playing them. I placed one into my portable player, put on the earphones, and stretched out on the bed to listen.

It was kind of fascinating. Some of the tracks were recordings of live performances. One I was able to recognize as Louis Armstrong. Another was identified by an emcee as a group called the Val Dormand Quintet. The rest were unknown to me. There was certainly a great deal of variety: jazz, rock 'n' roll, some classical guitar. I wondered how Edward had selected these pieces, and pictured him covertly recording live performances.

I felt a faint breeze against my face, and looked up to find Edward standing beside the bed, smiling. "What do you think?"

I grinned up at him. "Did you really smuggle a tape recorder into a nightclub in 1955?"

He laughed. "I did."

"Weren't they the size of a shopping cart in those days?"

"As a matter of fact, the first miniature recording devices came on the market in the 1950's. They were still too expensive to be in common use, and nightclub staff didn't do routine searches."

"So this is a bootleg recording of Louis Armstrong."

"That's right." He sat down on the bed beside me. "Do you recognize any of the other performers?"

"None."

"The guitarist is Segovia."

"Oh!" Him, I'd heard of. "You've heard him play? In person, I mean?"

"Many times, but I didn't tape this one myself. It's from a recording he made with the BBC. I used forged ID to pose as a newspaper columnist from Germany, and got into the studio to observe. I saved this particular track because it wasn't included on the album."

"You obtained this one semi-legally, too, I assume?"

"I'm afraid so. And I used the same technique to obtain the Glenn Gould recording." He watched my face. "What are you thinking?"

I ejected the disc. "You've had this long, amazing life that I don't know more than a tiny fraction of. I haven't done _anything_."

"I can understand why you might see it that way, but _I_ don't. My entire existence seems like nothing but prologue to meeting you." He kissed me softly. "And exactly what would you expect to have done, by the ripe old age of eighteen? Most of your life is ahead of you." His expression darkened. I knew very well what was in his mind.

"Don't start that again. My life won't end when I become like you. It will change, that's all." I set my CD player aside and curled up against his chest. He placed gentle kisses along my hairline.

"A lot of it _will_ end if you become like me. I'm not technically alive, not according to the usual criteria."

"That's because the criteria are based on incomplete information," I told him crisply. I felt him smile against my temple. "And you seem very alive to me."

"You make me feel very much alive," he murmured, "and very human."

I turned my face to meet his lips, kissed him until I needed to pause for breath. He moved his mouth to my neck, his hands roving experimentally, gently touching my upper arm, my shoulder blades, the small of my back, then moving away before the touch could become a real caress. It was both pleasant and frustrating: I wanted his hands to stop moving on. I copied his movements with my own hands on his arms, his back, but without abbreviating the contact. A moment later, he moved away from me with a sigh.

I lay back, catching my breath, while he sat up against the headboard and stared out the window for a few minutes. I got up and gathered my schoolbooks together, just for something to occupy my hands.

"You've been studying?" he asked.

"Several hours' worth," I said. "Finals are coming up." Suddenly my eyes popped open. "Holy crap! I completely forgot!"

"Forgot what?"

I jumped back onto the bed beside him. "You were having a meeting. On what happened with Victoria over the weekend, and what to do about it."

"Yes. I was going to fill you in."

"I can't believe I forgot about it."

"You must have had something else on your mind," he said, smirking.

I blushed. "Tell me."

"There isn't that much to tell. Victoria showed up, moved through the area with no obvious goal beyond evading us, and left. As I mentioned, she had some intention of approaching this house, but either changed her mind, or was put off by our being nearby.  
"We managed to get close at one point, almost close enough to capture her, but she crossed the boundary line onto Quileute land at that point. Some of the werewolves took up the pursuit. Most of them, unfortunately, stayed behind to confront us. They felt Emmett had come too close to the boundary. When they became threatening to him, Rosalie got involved in the argument."

I narrowed my eyes at him. '"Are you redacting this part for my sake?"

"Perhaps a little," he admitted. "Jasper was able to calm all parties, so an actual fight was avoided. In the meantime, unfortunately, Victoria managed to elude the few who went after her."

"Ugh! You'd think they _wanted_ her to get away!"

"I don't suspect that for a moment; but their priorities are somewhat different from ours."

"I think their _priorities_ need some adjustment." I was furious. A homicidal maniac was stalking us, and those half-canine lunatics were worrying about property lines? "Was Alice able to see anything new?"

"Very little, and what she does see is confused and inconsistent. She's very upset with herself."

"It's not her fault."

"No. Victoria seems to have found a way to manipulate Alice's gift. The fact that contact with the werewolves creates blank areas doesn't help."

"Poor Alice. She must be going crazy."

"She's very demoralized by the situation."

I thought through what he'd told me. "Is there anything I can do?"

He sighed. "Unfortunately, there is." I laughed. "The family would like you to try once more."

"Try to speak with them? With Jacob?"

"That's right. It is probably useless, but Carlisle wants to approach them again. He thinks you have a chance of convincing them to work together. Of course, it is entirely your choice."

"Of course, I'll speak to them. It can't hurt to try."

"Let's hope not," he murmured.

I curled up next to him on the bed, as ready to sleep as I was going to be.


	8. Breakfast Meeting

I was no less angry in the morning, and over the course of the school day, I decided on a tentative plan of action. "I'm going to try and talk to Sam directly," I told Edward immediately after lunch, when we'd gone outside to wait for our afternoon classes. "Maybe that will have more of an effect than working through Jacob." He was silent a moment. "What do you think?" I asked nervously.

"It makes sense. The current approach isn't effective, and Sam is their leader. Jacob's hostility may cause him to distort our messages slightly. The only thing opposing the plan is that you have no longstanding friendship with Sam Uley, as you do with the Blacks. Still, I think it is worth trying."

"Good. Let me use your phone, please." He handed it over, and I ducked behind a storage shed. Cell phones weren't permitted during school hours, but somehow the Cullens never got caught with theirs. I waited tensely through three rings, then heard a gruff '_Hello?_' through the line.

"Billy? Hi, it's Bella."

"Bella, how are you?"

"I'm great, thanks. How are you doing?"

"Can't complain. Truck running all right?"

"Pretty good. It needs an oil change, I think. Listen, I need to ask you a favour."

His voice became just a fraction less friendly. He probably knew what kind of favour I'd be asking for. "What's that?"

"I want to talk to Sam."

There was a pause. "Then why call me?"

"Because I'm using Edward's cell phone. Sam won't take calls from this number. Besides, I don't actually know Sam very well, so I thought it would be better to send the message through you, if you don't mind."

"I see. You want to meet with him here?"

I met Edward's eyes. "That might not be the best place for me right now. Maybe somewhere off the reserve?"

Billy snorted. "Is it just you who'll be talking to Sam?"

"Yes. Just a minute," I added, as Edward leaned toward me. He whispered something in my ear. "The Cullens, at least some of them, will be nearby."

"Hm. Okay, I'll pass the message. How should Sam get back to you?"

Edward gestured that I could use his phone, and I replied, "He can call this number. It would be easiest for me if he called between three and four, if he can." I recited the number to Billy, asked him to say hi to Jacob for me, and hung up.

"You're remarkably civil, considering how angry you were with them last night, and even this morning," Edward commented.

"I'm saving my anger. It might be put to good use later." I handed him back his phone. "Here, you'd better keep this for now. I'm sure to get caught and have it confiscated."

Sam was very prompt in responding. I was getting into Edward's car a few minutes after three when his phone vibrated. He glanced at the number and handed it to me without a word. "Hello?" I said, a little nervously.

"Bella? Sam Uley." His voice was deep and a little unfriendly. "Billy said you wanted to talk to me."

"Yes. I..."

"Not on the phone," he snapped. "I'll talk to you in person. What time does your father leave for work in the morning?"

"Tomorrow morning, it would be about 5:30."

"Be at the Mora boat launch at 6:30. You know where that is?"

I looked at Edward, and he nodded. "I can get there."

"Fine." He hung up.

I snapped the phone shut and handed it back to Edward. "I don't remember Sam being this rude!"

It was hard to sleep that night, and not just because I was pushing boundaries with Edward again. I finally got to sleep about 11:30, and was gently shaken awake at 5:45. "I thought you might like time for breakfast," he said.

I looked at the clock. "Will I have time? How long does it take to drive there?"

"We're not driving. I'm carrying you."

"Oh, in that case..." I quickly dressed, tied my hair back, ate a bowl of cold cereal. "Are the others meeting us there?"

"Yes, a short distance from the location. It would be better if we stayed out of sight. Besides," he added with a grimace, "it means we can avoid the smell."

"Edward! That's just childish."

He laughed. "No, I mean that literally. The werewolves' scent is very unpleasant to us; as our scent is to them."

"Really?" I didn't notice anything unusual about their smell.

"An indication that we're natural enemies, I suppose."

"I don't accept that. You don't have to be anybody's enemy if you don't want to. I mean, you're supposed to be _my_ natural enemy, theoretically."

"You sound a little like Carlisle." That remark surprised me so much, I couldn't reply. He walked with me into the woods, slung me on his back, and began to run. I knew enough now to keep my eyes closed, so I actually enjoyed the trip.

Edward placed me carefully on my feet only a few minutes later, and I looked around. We were standing by a river, and I could see the boat launch in the distance. I turned around to find the rest of the Cullens standing behind me.

"Good morning, Bella," Carlisle said politely. Esme kissed me carefully on the cheek, and Alice ran up to adjust my collar. "We'll be out of sight, but within easy reach of you if any problems should develop. Remember our previous instructions."

Edward was obviously uneasy, but at least he didn't try to talk me out of it. He walked with me toward the boat launch while the others vanished, apparently into the surrounding woods. Suddenly he froze, holding me in place. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"He's brought friends." Edward stood still, his hands on my shoulders, while he seemed to listen intently. Finally he relaxed his grip. "They don't intend any harm," he said, "but you'll have to face a fairly large group."

"Okay," I said uneasily. The idea of addressing a crowd scared me more than dealing with werewolves. I felt momentarily at a loss, completely out of my depth; but I'd agreed to do this for Edward and his family, and I wasn't about to back out now.

Edward kissed me briefly and disappeared. A moment later, Sam emerged from the woodlot a short distance from the river. He looked ordinary in his jeans and sweatshirt - just as I remembered him, except that he was now bigger and more muscular, just like Jacob. I braced myself and stepped forward to meet him."Hi, Sam." I tried a pleasant smile, which he didn't return.

"We're back here," he said, turning and leading me into the trees. I followed him through dense forest until we came to an open area. I found myself facing the group Edward had warned me about; I quickly counted nine people, men and boys. I recognized Jacob, Sue Clearwater's son Seth, and a couple of others I was vaguely familiar with, but the rest were strangers. Sam took his place in the front of the group, crossed his arms and looked at me sternly. "Well?"

I should have been frightened and intimidated, and for a second or two I was; but suddenly the absurdity of the situation struck me. Or maybe I was just mildly hysterical. I snorted inelegantly with laughter. "Did you really set up this impressive show of force for my benefit? Or were you afraid I'd overpower you if you came alone?"

Jacob scowled. "_You_ didn't come alone," he pointed out.

"No, that's true." I felt calmer now that I'd called them on their scare tactics. I had a message to deliver, simple as that.

"Let's get on with it," Sam said.

"Okay. It may be pointless, but I want to ask once more for your co-operation in dealing with Victoria."

"We don't need any help to get rid of her," one of the younger boys said. He looked no more than thirteen. Were _children_ turning into werewolves?

"I have to disagree with that. She's still wandering free, even though you've been after her for a while now."

"Why are you so concerned with all this?" I recognized the speaker as Paul, a young man I'd seen at Billy's house once or twice.

"_Why_?"

"Yeah. Why not just leave it to us? How is it even your business?" Some of the others stirred uncomfortably, apparently not approving of his belligerent manner.

"I'll tell you how. Because over the weekend, she came into town with the intention of going to _my_ house." That caused a slight reaction; apparently this was news. "I left town and went to stay with my mother for the weekend because there was a revenge-crazed vampire heading my way. She veered away from the house, where Charlie was staying, alone, only because the Cullens got there ahead of her. She may be out to kill me and my father. Does that sound like it might just be _my business_? Something I might have a legitimate interest in?"

"Yeah, I get that," Sam said, his tone less sharp than before. "Paul didn't mean anything. I'm sorry about...is Charlie okay?"

"Fortunately, yes. As for leaving it to you - that's part of the problem. You might have helped on this occasion, if you'd known Victoria was coming, what her intentions were. But you _didn't_ know, because when Carlisle tried to notify you, you wouldn't accept his calls."

Sam frowned. "We agreed to take their messages from you."

"But I wasn't here last weekend. I was in Florida, hiding out from the crazy vampire, remember? You had a reliable source of information on her whereabouts, but chose to ignore it." They seemed to be wavering. "Ephraim Black made this treaty with the Cullens in person. They told me about him; they have a lot of respect for him. I'm sure you do, too; but the point is, he was willing to talk to the Cullens, to come to an agreement with them for their mutual benefit. He didn't think it was compromising his principles to negotiate with the, to find a peaceful solution."

They talked among themselves briefly. "Well, _I'll_ take their calls, if you won't," I heard Seth say.

Sam finally turned back to me. "We'll consider it."

"Thanks," I said. "The other thing is the offer to collaborate on heading off Victoria."

"We're not working with them," Sam answered, his expression becoming cold once again.

"Then could you at least consider not working against them? As it was, you made sure nobody was able to catch up with Victoria, and she got away again."

"How do you figure that's _our_ fault?" Paul snapped.

"The Cullens were close to her when she crossed over onto your land. Not only did you stop them from going after her, but the majority of you stayed behind to argue with the Cullens instead of following Victoria. Because of that, she's free to try again."

"Look," Sam told me, "the treaty is clear. The Cullens can't set foot on Quileute land. Not under any circumstances."

"Is waiving that rule temporarily out of the question?"

There was some muttered conversation. I caught a few words, enough to understand they questioned my autonomy. I was suspected of being the Cullens' brainwashed zombie slave.

"I don't see that as a possibility," Sam told me finally.

"Then can you at least acknowledge the need to work together on this?" I could see them shut down at that suggestion. "Jacob tells me the reason you all exist, the...the way you do, is to protect human life. But given the opportunity to protect it, your first priority is to dispute property lines. As one of Victoria's prospective victims, I take exception to that."

"It's not a joking matter!" Paul said, his voice angry.

"I know that! But if you take it seriously, you should be willing to do whatever it takes to stop Victoria."

"We can handle it ourselves," Paul ground out.

"We're back to where we started. If you can handle it yourselves, why haven't you? Why is she still at large? Obviously, you're not..." I broke off suddenly and stared at Paul. He didn't just look mad; he looked like he was going to explode.

I remembered the instructions the Cullens had given me, and quickly backed away from Paul. Unfortunately, walking backwards very fast is a little out of my depth. After a few steps, I stumbled and fell on my butt. I looked up to see what was happening with Paul, but couldn't find him. Where Paul had stood, was now an enormous wolf.

Things seemed to happen incredibly fast. There was a wolf the size of a Clydesdale in front of me, snarling. At the same moment, the people who'd surrounded him seemed to vanish, and the clearing was suddenly full of equally huge wolves, several of them taking up positions between me and the Paul-wolf. I froze where I was, sitting on the ground, but an instant later I found myself flying through the air at incredible speed. I was alarmed by this for half a second before I realized it was Edward, carrying me away from the clearing. I relaxed, clinging to him until he stopped.

The rest of the family caught up with him shortly, but Edward continued to hold me rather than set me down on my feet.

"Are you all right, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. I was just startled."

Emmett gave a bark of laughter. "Sure! Everyone around me suddenly turned into giant wolves. It was a tad _startling_!"

"Well, I already knew they did that. Although it's a little different actually seeing it happen."

"I can imagine," Esme said.

"Where are we?" I asked, looking around. I could see nothing but trees in every direction.

"In Olympic National Park, about two miles northeast of the campground," Jasper told me.

"Shouldn't I go back?" They all stared at me. "Well, we weren't really finished talking. We hadn't come to any agreement yet."

To my surprise, they all laughed, and Esme patted my arm affectionately. "No, love. The negotiations are over for now," Edward said. "They're in no condition to talk immediately in any case."

"Can't they change back?"

"Not right now, no." He didn't elaborate.

"I'm sorry," I told them.

"What on earth for?" Alice asked.

"For getting Paul so mad. You told me to be careful of that."

"Bella, Paul arrived angry," Edward said. "Something would eventually have set him off. It's not your fault."

"Not at all," Carlisle said, "We regret putting you in that situation."

"It was no big deal."

I heard Edward sigh. "I should take you home."

"I guess so." I was a little dejected at my failed attempt, although I knew it wasn't really my fault.

"Bella, come by the house later, if you can," Esme said. "Come for dinner."

"Thanks, that would be nice; but I'll have to bring my homework along."

"Would it streamline things if I told you what the questions would be on all your final exams?" Alice asked.

I wasn't sure if she was serious or not. "No, I think I'd better do it alone and take my chances."

"You're _so_ virtuous!" she teased.

"I just want to be able to take credit for graduating."

Edward ran me back home. Since it was daylight, he set me down some distance from the house and let me walk the rest of the way, and enter through the front door. He then left to get his car so he could drive me to school. I changed out of the muddy jeans I'd fallen down in, and put on clean ones, then went downstairs and sat on the couch to study while I waited for Edward. I assumed I would be too nervous and jangled to concentrate, but I was calm enough to fall asleep. Edward shook me awake, my head resting on my open textbook, in time to drive me to school.


	9. Face To Face

I made Charlie a single-serving turkey meat loaf for dinner, along with green beans and a salad. "Just reheat it when you're ready. And _eat_ the vegetables, Dad," I told him firmly, "don't just throw half of them out and then fill up on cookies."

"Yes, Ma'am." He looked over at Edward. "See how she pushes me around?"

Edward smiled. "Bella looks after people. It's her nature."

"You have to take better care of yourself, Dad. I won't be here to cook for you pretty soon." I felt a little sad about that.

"I know, I know. Say hi to the Cullens for me."

"I will."

"And don't be out too late," he added, glancing at Edward, who nodded amiably.

"Is he feeling any more positive toward you?" I asked on the drive.

"A little. He's making a genuine effort. He suspects he'll eventually have to deal with our getting married."

"Really? That's actually occurred to Charlie?"

"Yes. He doesn't expect it this year, but your mother has hinted that we are probably a permanent fixture. So," he added slyly, "breaking the news of our engagement may not be as much of a shock to him as you fear."

Dinner at the Cullens' was, as I'd half expected, lobster. They'd obtained an enormous specimen, along with melted butter and various salads. When I found breaking the shell difficult, several hands intervened, and the lobster lay de-shelled on my plate seconds later. "Thanks," I said to the room at large. I managed to eat the entire lobster and a little salad.

"Thank you," I said to Esme. "That was fantastic."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Bella." She smiled, showing her dimples.

I enjoyed a few hands of poker - betting chips, not real money - before settling down with my homework. Edward sat across from me at the dining room table, facilitating the process, as he called it, and quizzing me in preparation for my next exam. I realized he was also keeping track of the rest of the family, who were gathered at one end of the living room.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, gesturing to the others.

"There's a possible concern," he said. "I'm sure they'll tell you about it when you're finished here."

I worked another twenty minutes before setting the books aside. "That does it. Thanks for the help."

"My pleasure."

We joined the others, who were watching the news on television. A local station was covering the disappearances of several people in the Seattle area. When that report ended, Emmett switched rapidly through the stations until he found a report of the same situation on a cable news channel, then repeated the action when the report was concluded, finding more coverage of the disappearances on a Seattle station.

"Charlie told me about this," i said in an undertone to Edward. "The Seattle police contacted him."

"They did?" Carlisle turned to me.

"Yeah, he said they were contacting police all over the state, in case they had anything helpful."

"Did he tell you anything in particular about the case?" They were all looking at me now.

"Not really, probably nothing you wouldn't hear on TV. He said there were no clues because there was no trace evidence of any kind, no ransom notes, no real suspects. He said the disappeared people who were eventually found - well, he didn't say directly, but I gather there was almost nothing left of them. They suspect gangs, but can't find any real evidence of that, either."

They looked at each other solemnly. Edward gestured me toward a chair, and I sat down.

"It _can't_ be human," Emmett said.

"It's unlikely," Jasper said. "A very large and sophisticated gang might have accomplished it. But there doesn't seem to be any motive. This kind of random, pointless attack would be more likely from a street gang than from organized crime or professional killers, but no street gang could commit a series of crimes that neat, and without leaving evidence. The victims have nothing in common except their location. And the condition of the bodies, the fact that no trace of any kind can be found..."

"I'm afraid we have to consider the possibility," Carlisle said, "or rather, the very strong probability..."

Emmett nodded. "It's one of us."

"You mean," I broke in, "you think a _vampire_ is doing this?"

"It's not that unusual, Bella," Edward said. "You might be surprised how many unexplained deaths and disappearances are the result of attacks from our kind."

"The _normal_ vampires," Rosalie added, her voice bitter. I found her looking at me, and immediately turned away from the expression on her face.

"But this number of people in such a short time? And so carelessly?" Edward shook his head, frowning.

"Could it be Victoria?" I asked.

"If so, she is probably not acting alone," Jasper said. "Laurent and James are both dead. Perhaps she's found new companions."

"We will have to monitor the situation very closely," Carlisle said, "and be prepared to intervene if necessary. It's already drawn too much attention."

"Attention?" I looked at Edward.

"You recall my telling you we have one law that is regularly enforced?"

"Oh! You mean the Volturi might...?"

"Yes," Jasper said, "and normally that would be a good thing. In this case, the violations are taking place very close to where we are. It might occur to the Volturi to look in on Carlisle. We would not want your situation to become known to them."

My mouth went dry. I didn't want to ask how the Volturi would react. I thought I had a pretty good idea.

The family continued with their activities, but with the television left on, the sound muted but tuned to a local Seattle station. Periodically, one of them would scan through other stations for updates. Edward challenged me to a game of chess. I balked, pointing out that I was a very bad and very inexperienced chess player, but he said he enjoyed the experience of playing against someone whose moves he couldn't predict. With Alice openly giving me hints, I managed to hold off defeat for a little while.

We were setting up for our second game when Edward's cell phone chimed. He frowned at the number on the screen, answered in a cautious voice, and listened a moment. The family, evidently, could hear the caller, and turned to face Edward. He lowered the phone and looked at me. "It's Sam Uley. He is asking to speak with you."

"Oh!"

"You don't have to, Bella."

"No, it's fine. I'll talk to him." I took the phone nervously. "Hello?"

"Bella? Hi. How are you?"

"I'm just great, Sam. How are _you_?" It seemed a little weird to be calling and casually asking after my health, under the circumstances; there was a touch of sarcasm in my voice.

He seemed to hear it. "Yeah, well, I'm calling partly because Paul wanted to tell you he's sorry about what happened the other day."

"Nice of him to let me know," I said evenly.

"He was going to tell you in person, but some of us thought that was a bad idea."

"Okay. Well, tell Paul it's all right. No harm done."

"I will. The other thing is, we all started talking after...after that happened. You know Seth Clearwater, right?"

"Sure."

"Seth started kind of pushing us to change our approach. He thought we were out of line, turning down help with that project." I realized he was still being careful about what he said over the telephone. "He ended up winning over almost the whole pack."

Pack? I thought. As in wolf pack?

"So we were wondering if you'd be willing to meet with us once more, and hammer out the details. No surprises this time."

"Hold on a second." I looked to the others for instructions. They had all turned to Carlisle.

"If you would find it too distressing, Bella..."

I shook my head. "No, not at all. Do you want me to meet with them?"

"If you have no misgivings, then yes. We will be nearby, of course."

I returned to the phone. "Okay, Sam. When and where?"

He described a location just outside the reserve boundary, close to the 110. I looked at Edward, and he nodded. "Got it."

"Six tomorrow morning?"

Six? Didn't these people ever sleep? Fortunately, Carlisle quietly asked me to delay it an hour, since he would still be on duty at the hospital at six. "Can we make it seven?"

"Seven's fine. See you then."

He actually said goodbye before hanging up. "That was a lot more friendly than last time," I remarked.

"It's very promising," Carlisle agreed. "We may be able to work together with the werewolves after all."

Jasper's eyes had returned to the news report on the television screen. "We may _need_ to."

Edward and I returned to our chess game, but I found it hard to concentrate, and we played more casually, alternating chess moves with watching news updates and talking together. "Maybe I shouldn't even bring this up," I said, "but I'm a little surprised you don't have a problem with the meeting tomorrow. After the incident with Paul, I mean."

"Strangely enough, I feel _more_ at ease about having you meet them than I did previously. I picked up some surprising thoughts from all of them, especially after they changed form." I could see some of the others tune in to our conversation. "Although they are less than happy about your relationship with us, I saw no real animosity toward you, and no thoughts of kidnaping or forcible deprogramming. Paul, of course, was hostile from the beginning. He is more resentful toward us than the rest of them."

"Why is that?" Carlisle asked.

"He has an angry temperament to begin with," Edward told him. "according to his associates. It was Paul, in wolf form, who led the confrontation with Emmett the last time Victoria passed through. He also blames us for the disruption in his life caused by our presence. In addition," Edward's eyes rested on me again, his expression pained, "Paul was one of those who found Bella in the woods after I left. He blames us for the condition she was left in, and for her father's distress over it."

"I understand," Carlisle said quietly, "but why would that make him lash out at Bella herself?"

"He is frustrated by the fact that she has forgiven us so easily, and now acts on our behalf. Bella's criticism of their approach was the final straw for him. But it was after the change to wolf form that their thoughts became most interesting." He leaned forward eagerly, looking toward Carlisle. "Once they transform, they share thoughts."

He had everyone's attention. "You mean they read each other's thoughts? Like you do?" I asked.

"It's more than that. It's as if, while in wolf form, they share a common mind. All their thoughts are heard by the entire group. It was amazing. They are able to take in the thoughts of all the others at once. They can even share decisions, one member of the pack reacting to another's intentions almost instantaneously."

"It would make them incredibly quick and unified in battle," Jasper pointed out.

"A group mind!" Carlisle mused, clearly fascinated.

Edward smiled at me. "In answer to your original question - why I'm not concerned about your meeting with them again - I heard their thoughts as Paul reacted. Paul became enraged and took on wolf form. At virtually the same instant, the others also changed form, with the intention of defending you in case Paul became violent. Within the group mind, they _all_ sent out a warning to Paul, telling him to stay back and leave you alone. Several stood between you and him."

"I noticed that."

"Observant," he murmured. "Well, their reaction was reassuring. Even Paul, a moment later, recollected himself and expressed regret. All the more regret, because _I_ was the one who took you out of his reach. They see their purpose as protecting humans from our kind. It stung a bit to have a vampire rescue you from one of them."

"Something you could bring up," Emmett said, "if they get all self-righteous again."

* * *

"You really like to outnumber the opposition, don't you?" I said. There were even more of them this time. Besides the group who had met me last time - the _pack_ - there was also Billy Black; Leah Clearwater, looking daggers at me; and a young woman I didn't recognize, holding a notebook. I thought, for an absurd second, that they'd brought along a newspaper reporter. The strange woman was lovely, in profile; then she turned so I could see her entire face, and I immediately looked away to avoid staring rudely. One side of her face was a mass of horrible scars. I remembered Emmett telling me about the woman who'd been badly hurt by a werewolf, and my eyes went to Paul.

Sam noticed. "No," he said. "I was the one who hurt Emily." His voice was bleak as he spoke, and I didn't ask any further questions.

"Bella," Paul called to me, "sorry about the other day."

"It's okay," I said. "Hothead." He smiled back, and that was that.

"Okay, so," Sam began, "we can't go along with the Cullens crossing the boundary line. We don't want them there, even on a temporary basis. But we do want to start exchanging information. From both sides this time."

"Good."

"We'll share sightings. Ask them not to say anything too specific on the phone - just location. Not that I think anybody's wiretapping us, but it can't hurt to be careful. And no texts or recorded messages. Tell them that, okay?"

"They've got it."

"How's that?"

"I don't have to ask them. They can hear you."

The group looked around uneasily. "They keep you on a tight leash, don't they?" Leah jeered.

"They didn't want to be too far away during the meeting, especially after last time," I explained blandly.

"I thought I could smell them," Leah remarked, "but I figured it was just residual scent they'd left on _her._"

Seth frowned at her. She glared back at him. It was a pretty scary glare, but Seth seemed unaffected.

"It seems a little pointless," Seth said, "talking through Bella when they're standing right there, just out of sight. Why don't we talk to them directly?" He looked my way.

"Don't ask _me_! The Cullens had me do this because you couldn't stand to speak to any of them. I always thought it was kind of silly."

There was a moment of quiet debate in the group, then Sam turned back to me. "I suppose they can be counted on not to initiate any hostilities?"

"They _did_ make a treaty agreeing to that, and they've kept it for decades," I pointed out. "They won't break it if you don't."

"All right." Sam looked through the surrounding woods. "If you want to talk, come on out."

I turned around in time to see the last few Cullens flash to a place about fifty feet from us, then walk the rest of the way at human speed. Most of them held back a little. Edward stood beside me, and Carlisle in front of the others. He nodded to the stony-faced Quileutes, making the gesture seem almost like a bow. "Good morning," he greeted them. "Thank you for agreeing to collaborate on this matter."

"It's just for this one occasion," Sam said.

"Understood. Victoria is incredibly resourceful, and we've been at a loss so far. I'm afraid it will take our combined efforts to overcome her."

Sam nodded, calmed by Carlisle's manner, as all of them seemed to be. "Do you have any, er, speculations about her next move?" He looked at Alice.

"Not so far," Alice said. "She seems to be avoiding making a decision, which throws me off. It can't last forever, though. She'll have to decide before she can act, so eventually I'll get something."

"You'll know as soon as we do," Carlisle promised. "There is also the question of the boundary line."

Sam shrugged a little apologetically. "I already said..."

"No, I don't mean _our_ crossing the line," Carlisle said. "It's just that Victoria seems to have discovered that we will not follow her onto your land, and she makes use of that fact."

"We could block her from crossing the boundary, I guess," Sam said.

"Exactly." Carlisle looked back at Jasper questioningly.

"If we're in contact from the moment of Victoria's arrival," Jasper added, "we can co-ordinate our actions to block her escape. It's unlikely she can elude all of us. But that would require keeping her on this side of the boundary line."

"Right," Sam agreed. "We can do that when she first comes into the area, but we can hardly keep phoning back and forth while we're chasing her."

"_We_ can't, in particular," Paul put in. "No cell phone use once we're in wolf mode, obviously. No opposable thumbs."

Several of the Quileutes chuckled at this, and seemed a little surprised when Carlisle joined in. "I see the difficulty. However, that would not be a problem once we'd sighted Victoria and were working together to pursue her. Provided we were in fairly close proximity to each other, Edward would be able to hear any new data you obtained, and would be aware of any changes in your strategy."

"Edward? Yeah," Sam said, frowning. "Mind reader, right?" He stared at Edward, who unexpectedly laughed.

"If that's intended as a test, the answer is twelve."

Sam snorted. "Okay, I can see he'll be useful. No cell phones needed once we're in pursuit. Anything else we should know?"

Carlisle seemed to hesitate, looking briefly at Edward, who shrugged uncertainly.

"Something you're keeping from us?" Jacob asked sharply.

"Yes, there is; but mostly because we are not yet sure of our facts. Acting in advance of data could be a serious mistake. I hope you can agree to hold off on any kind of response until we have more information."

"Understood," Sam said warily. "What's the story?"

"You may be aware of a series of mysterious disappearances and deaths in the Seattle area." There was a ripple of response through the group. "Based on news reports, and some information Bella obtained through her father's work, we suspect it is not human in origin."

"You think the redhead is doing all that?" Paul asked.

"If it is Victoria, she is probably not acting alone."

"So there's at least one more of them?" Sam looked grim.

"If we're correct, yes. We should be able to come to a conclusion very soon. Obviously, we'll keep you apprised."

"Good." Sam looked over Carlisle's shoulder with a smirk. "I don't think your military friend there likes us knowing about this."

Carlisle glanced back at Jasper with a smile. "Jasper is cautious," he said mildly, "but I thought it was necessary to be open with you, if we are to collaborate. I'm sure you'd do the same."

"Uh, naturally." He looked around at the other Quileutes. "I guess that does it."

"Then we'll be in touch."

I raised my hand in a quick wave. "Bye, guys. Thanks." I laughed as Edward swept me up in his arms and dashed away, the others close behind.

They paused near the highway. "I'll take Bella home, then come back for the car," Edward said.

"Thank you so much, Bella, for making that possible," Carlisle said to me. I mumbled something.

"You sorry to lose your post as ambassador?" Emmett joked.

"No," I answered decidedly. "I was glad to do it, but I'm even happier to give the job away. Anyway, nobody mediates better than Carlisle."

"True," Edward said. "Sam almost shook your hand before you left," he told Carlisle.

"I'm not surprised," Carlisle said. "They're good people. There's no reason we have to be enemies, if we choose not to be."

Edward raised an eyebrow at me, picked me up and dashed off through the woods.


	10. Friends

Friday of that week was unusually sunny, and the Cullens took one of their occasional days off school to 'go camping.' In reality, half the family were hunting Friday until late Saturday, the other half on Saturday night through Sunday morning. They didn't want to be out of my reach all at once, until the Victoria situation was cleared up. I'd eventually figured out that they were taking turns guarding my house, and following me when I went out anywhere.

Edward woke me early for school so he could say goodbye. I was grateful not to have to wake up alone, and I demonstrated my gratitude until he firmly pushed me away. I put up more of a fight than usual.

"Bella," he warned, holding my wrists to keep my hands away.

"I'm not going to see you until tomorrow night," I protested. "I should get a proper goodbye."

"I think you mean an_ im_proper one," he joked.

"Maybe I do."

Edward gently pressed my hands back against my stomach and sat up. "It's not an ideal time for this discussion," he said. "The others are waiting for me."

I didn't want to argue with him just before he left, so I let it go. "Okay, then. Have fun."

"I'll try." He touched my face gently. "I hate being away from you."

"I hate it too," I said quietly.

"Bella. Listen to me." I looked up, surprised by his serious tone. "Be careful. Don't leave town without notifying the family. Alice is keeping watch, but you know she's been having difficulty following Victoria. If you have the slightest indication - even a premonition, however baseless it seems - phone one of us. Promise me, Bella."

"I will. I promise, Edward."

He kissed my forehead quickly, and was gone.

Now that my job at Newton's Outfitters was gone, I had my weekends mostly free. I had arranged to use this Saturday to get Charlie off my back about seeing a wider variety of friends, by spending the afternoon with Angela, helping her address graduation announcements. For Charlie's sake, I made it sound like we'd planned a regular orgy of girlish activities, complete with pillow fights, toenail painting and toll-house cookie binges. The reality would be less exciting. I liked hanging out with Angela, but never enjoyed her company quite as much as that of the Cullens.

In the morning, I caught up on the housework and laundry, stocked up on groceries, and filled my truck's gas tank. It had been running a little bit rough lately, and I reminded myself to get the oil changed. I didn't know much about car maintenance, but I'd gathered that oil changes were fundamental. I wondered how often those were supposed to take place.

I had fun with Angela, and we did get all her announcements addressed as well. "You must have an enormous family," I remarked, looking at the stack of envelopes.

"Yeah, I guess I do. My dad's family had five kids, my mom's had six, and all of _them_ have children. Lots of cousins, and cousins-in-law. Did you have a lot of announcements to send out?"

"None. There's just my dad, my mom, and my stepfather. I sent Mom an email, and that was it."

"Did you ever mind being an only child? If you don't mind my asking."

"No. I never really wanted baby brothers or sisters." I'd liked the idea of older siblings, for some reason, and I smiled to myself at the thought that I'd soon have several of those. Thinking I might have sounded critical, I added, "I guess it's a matter of what you're used to."

"Sure. I want to have at least two kids."

"You've thought about it already?"

"Sure. Haven't you?" I shrugged. "Ben and I even talked about it. Kind of, you know, hypothetically. We think we might get married some day, if we're still together after college."

"That would be great," I said. "You two make a great couple." This would be the logical time to confess that Edward and I were already engaged, but I knew very well how Angela would take that news.

"Thanks. I know it seems dumb to assume my first boyfriend will be with me forever, but I think we have a chance. We just seem to understand each other perfectly. Well, _you_ know what I mean. You and Edward are like two halves of the same brain or something."

I was fascinated by this view of things. I was used to getting more passive-aggressive messages from girls where Edward and I were concerned; but Angela wasn't like that. "That's nice to hear."

She hesitated. "Can I ask you something really personal?"

"Sure."

"Are you and Edward…you know, affectionate? Like, physically?"

I gulped. "Um…"

"Sorry, maybe I shouldn't have asked. It's just that I'm trying to figure this out with Ben, and you always seem to have a reasonable take on things."

"It's okay. We're not really doing anything. I mean, we hug and kiss and stuff, but that's about it. Although I wouldn't exactly mind if it went further." I could feel myself flush red. "What about you guys?"

"We started fooling around a little bit. Not the whole deal, but enough to…well, to keep us both satisfied, if you know what I mean."

I realized that I _did_ know, more or less, and a world of possibilities suddenly opened up in my mind. I forced myself to stay focused on the conversation. "So what is it you're trying to figure out?"

"How much further to go with it, and when. Ben kind of wants to take things to the next level, but that's hard to arrange. Anywhere I go in Forks to buy protection, they're going to recognize me. I'd hate to have one of them go to my parents. Or have the person I bought condoms from show up at my dad's church the following weekend. Even if they didn't say anything, it would be weird."

"Yeah, I see the problem. Maybe go out of town? There's a clinic in Port Angeles, and it's supposed to be completely confidential." She looked surprised, so I explained, "My dad actually went there and brought me a bunch of pamphlets. He had sort of a talk with me about, er, safety."

"Really? I can't imagine my dad doing that. He's very nice and understanding and all that, but he just wouldn't." She sighed. "Were the pamphlets any good?"

"Oh, not bad. Um, do you want them?"

"Would you mind?"

"No, I'll take them to school with me Monday."

"Thanks, Bella."

"No problem."

We moved on to other topics after that. As much as I liked Angela, I left her house feeling slightly depressed. It was strange to think how completely different our plans and expectations were. I felt like I was about to cross the ocean and leave Angela behind. And not just Angela, but everything she represented: the ordinary human experiences of school, job, marriage, children, growing older. I would be cut off from most of that.

I immediately repressed the whole thing. I've always been very good at that.

I took a little extra time with dinner, fixing chicken cacciatore from scratch with a green salad. I'd gradually learned which salads Charlie would eat and which he wouldn't, and I prepared food accordingly. Charlie was appreciative. "You sure can cook, Bells."

"You may not be the best judge. Your standards aren't that high," I teased him.

He laughed. "You may be right. So. Edward and his family are still camping?"

"Mm hm. All weekend."

"You have a good day?"

I appreciated Charlie's attempts to make dinner table conversation, even though they always seemed like a tremendous effort for him. "Yeah, really good. I got some work done, then I spent the afternoon at Angela's."

"Oh, right! I forgot you were going over there. So you two had fun?"

"Sure, we had a nice time. We got all her graduation announcements addressed, too."

He frowned. "Am I supposed to be sending those out?"

"No, Dad. Angela's situation is different. She has about a million relatives who want to be kept in the loop."

He looked relieved. "Listen, if there's anything I should be doing for your graduation, you speak up, all right? I'd probably never figure it out for myself."

I grinned at him. "I will, Dad; but I don't think there's anything you need to do, except show up."

"That I can do. Oh, yeah," he added, "I should tell you: you don't need to make dinner for me tomorrow. I'll be at Billy's. We're going fishing, then I'm going over there to eat."

"Tell him hi from me."

I washed the dishes and sat down at the kitchen table to study while Charlie watched television. I heard an odd sound from the back of the house, and looked up to find Alice peering in the window at me. She gestured to me to come and join her. I checked to make sure Charlie was still engrossed in his onscreen action, and quietly opened the door. Nobody was there. I stepped out onto the back porch and I jumped, startled, when Alice suddenly appeared in front of me.

"Don't do that!" I whispered.

She grinned. "Sorry!"

"What's up?"

"Jazz and I are on guard duty. Can you come out?"

"I guess so. I'll need to come up with an excuse. You're not supposed to be here this weekend."

"I know, I'm in a pup tent somewhere, toasting marshmallows. Could you tell Charlie you want to go to the malt shop to hang out with the other kids?"

I rolled my eyes. "Malt shop?"

"The roller rink? Pop's Burger Palace to play the jukebox?" I gave her a deliberately blank stare, and she finally giggled. "Well, whatever place they hang out around here."

In Forks, a lot of local high school students hung out around lumberyards and cemeteries, but Charlie wasn't going to buy that. "I'll see what I can come up with. Hang on a minute." I closed the door quietly. "Dad?" I called, going into the living room. "I thought I'd go to the mall for a while."

He looked away from the screen. "I guess that's fine. Any special reason?"

"I need a few things, and Jessica and Lauren were probably going to be there this evening." No direct lie there. I needed new socks and underwear, and Jessica and Lauren did go to the mall most weekends - not that I wouldn't avoid them if I saw them there.

"Sure, that's fine. Have fun."

I grabbed my purse and keys and ran out the front door. There was nobody around. I got into my truck and drove off, heading for the nearest highway, until I heard a light tapping sound behind me. I pulled over and looked through the back window to find Alice and Jasper standing in the cargo bed. It was a bit of a shock.

I waved them into the cab. "That's the second time tonight you've scared me half to death!"

"But not the last," Alice said, giving me a shifty look. I laughed.

"Where are we going?"

"Port Angeles. But not the mall. I know a couple of great places."

I parked the truck just off the main street, and Alice led us to an odd little store with a group of Goth kids standing around in front. I followed her inside, and found myself surrounded by shelves full of hookahs, silver jewelry, and a vast selection of incense and incense burners. Alice was looking through some racks of clothing. "Here," she said, dumping a pile of garments into my arms. "Try these on."

I looked at the things she'd given me. They were all underwear, and not the kind I was used to wearing. "Alice!"

"What? Every single piece of lingerie you have is white cotton. Why not mix it up a little?" She gave me a little push in the direction of the fitting rooms. "Go on. If you don't like them, you don't have to take them."

I reluctantly followed her instructions, rapidly putting on the items one by one, then taking them off immediately. When I got to a lavender camisole, I pulled it on and glanced in the mirror, ready to yank it back over my head and move on. I paused and took a better look.

"Bella? Can I come in?" Alice called from outside the cubicle.

"Sure."

She slipped through the curtain. "I kind of like this one," I said, still looking at the mirror. It was a little...mature, and nothing I would have chosen for myself, but it set off my figure in a surprising way.

"It looks fantastic. You _have_ to get it."

"There's not really any point, though. I'd wear it under my clothes, where it didn't show."

"_You'd_ know it's there."

"So?"

She raised an eyebrow. "It makes a difference, trust me."

I could kind of see how it might, and was a little embarrassed by the concept. "But I'm not buying any of these black leather things," I blustered, to change the subject.

"I didn't think you would. They're not your style. I just wanted you to try them on." I didn't ask why. I could see Alice was trying to provide some kind of big-sisterly instruction, and I thought I could deal with it better if I didn't look into it too deeply.

We left the fitting room and Alice took my camisole, along with a couple of leather items for herself, to the incongruously smiling Goth sales clerk near the exit. Jasper was standing near the display of water pipes and flipping through a copy of The Book of Chakras, while being ostentatiously ignored by two obviously smitten girls in modified steampunk fashion.

"Do you mind that?" I asked Alice as she gathered her purchases. "When women...?"

She followed my gaze to Jasper and his admirers. "Oh, that. It's unavoidable. It doesn't mean anything. Not to Jazz, anyway." She gave the two girls a sidelong glance. "You know it doesn't mean anything to Edward, either, right?"

"Oh, I know! It's just hard to watch sometimes." Jasper left his hookahs behind and followed us out of the shop.

"It'll be different, after," Alice said. We were walking through the downtown area, away from my truck. I just followed along.

"After I'm changed?"

"Yes. You'll understand how Edward feels, because you'll feel the same way yourself. Right now you're human, so you're less sure of him. You think it's possible his feelings about you could change, because you know yours could change. Or maybe they couldn't," she added thoughtfully. "We're not sure."

"You said that once before. I don't know what it means. Who's _we_? What are you not sure about?"

She glanced at Jasper. "The family talked about it, after Edward came back. When he left, you were...unwell."

I frowned at the sidewalk, waiting for the surge of painful memory to pass.

"I'm not defending what Edward did, but it was reasonable for him to assume you'd recover. Most human girls, if their boyfriend dumped them, they'd cry and mope for a while, they'd be depressed and, I don't know, eat ice cream and listen to sad music. Maybe, if they were really in love, they'd grieve for a long time. But they'd get over it. You're not one to wallow, but you were practically in a coma for weeks, and even after you started functioning, you were never yourself again. You were almost as badly off as Edward himself. I heard about it from Charlie, and Jasper felt it when we came to see you; and Edward saw it for himself in other people's minds."

"You can't imagine how he hated himself for putting you through that," Jasper added, "but it's true: nobody expected anything of the kind. You reacted almost like a vampire."

I looked at him, confused.

"Our kind can't be away from our mates for long."

"Mates," I repeated.

"That's the term most of us use. It's a better description, perhaps, than spouses. In the animal kingdom, there are species that bond with their mates for life. Some of them will die if they are separated, or so they say. We're like that. I think it happens on two levels: we fall in love, like humans, except that in our case it is an unchanging state; but we also form an intense, permanent bond with our mate. We suffer terribly if we are apart for long. The knowledge of being separated permanently would be excruciating. It was, for Edward. But..."

"But it shouldn't have been like that for you," Alice continued. "Carlisle speculated that forming an attachment with a vampire might have affected you in some way, either physically or psychologically; made you react like any vampire deprived of her mate. We can't know for sure, of course."

"There is no data available to work from," Jasper explained. "We know of no other cases of this kind. Edward may be the first."

"Lucky Edward," I said drily.

They both laughed. "Edward thinks he's very lucky," Alice told me, "and we think he is, too." I blushed. "Anyway, that's the situation. It looks like being with Edward has given you pre-vampiric attachment syndrome."

"What doctors call P.V.A.S.," I said. "I...can't think of an appropriate response to that." They seemed to find that amusing. I looked around at the increasingly busy streets. "Where are we going?"

"Right there." Alice pointed to a brightly lit shop on the next corner. Music poured from the large double doors, and people sat at sidewalk tables and stood in small groups outside.

"Most gathering places are centred around food and drink," Jasper told me. "Not of much interest to us."

"But this one, and the one we just came from, they're all about shopping and live music, with a little subculture performance art thrown in. Things we can enjoy."

"That makes sense."

"There are other interesting places to go of an evening," Alice added, "but you're too young for most of them."

The place was a coffee shop with a vintage clothing store established in one corner and a small stage in another. A three man band featuring a stand-up bass was playing a jazz version of what I recognized as a Britney Spears hit. Alice, predictably, dragged me over to the clothing racks, and picked out a blouse she identified as 1940's, and still more lingerie. I didn't argue, just followed her into the fitting room. She ignored my protests as she bought everything I'd tried on.

Once the shopping was over, we rejoined Jasper at one of the outdoor tables.

Alice gloated over the new clothes. "I know you'll love wearing these once you get used to the idea," she told me, studying the colourful selection of undergarments. I glanced uneasily at Jasper, who seemed undisturbed by a table full of frilly unmentionables. "And Edward will certainly appreciate it."

"Edward won't..." I began, and stopped.

She raised her eyebrows. "Is that right?"

"Didn't think so," Jasper murmured.

"I figured by _now, _they'd at least..."

"Alice!" My face was probably the colour of a stoplight.

"Oh, fine." Alice stuffed the clothing back into its bag.

"I wish you'd let me pay you back for all that."

"She has to get over these issues with money," Alice told Jasper. "Do you think setting up an account in her name would help?"

Jasper gave me an assessing look. "I doubt she's ready for that."

"Account?" I asked nervously.

"Every family member gets their own chequing account and credit card. It all comes out of the same central fund, of course. I'd assumed it would be taken care of after you had moved in with us, but it _could_ be done before."

"No, really!" I protested.

Alice laughed. "For Bella, the hardest thing about her new life will be accepting her share of the Cullen fortune."

"No, the hardest thing will be the lack of privacy." I said it without thinking, and immediately reconsidered. "Sorry, I don't mean to criticize. Edward told me there's no secrets in his family, and I'm starting to figure out how true that is."

"Yes, but it's surprising how quickly you get used to it," Jasper said. "I'm a very private person, but I had no difficulty with the Cullen household. Well, not after the first few weeks. We depend on each other so much, it seems natural to take an interest in every aspect of each other's lives. It doesn't feel intrusive; it's just mutual concern."

"I'm sure I'll get used to it, too." Eventually.

They ordered three herbal teas, switching cups with me as mine emptied, and we sat and listened to the music and people-watched. When a new and much louder band came on stage, we started walking back to the truck, taking our time and talking.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked Jasper.

"Certainly."

"It's about a bet you had with Edward, that he lost."

He smiled. "You'll have to narrow it down a bit more."

"Well, the forfeit was that he had to major in psychology."

Both he and Alice laughed. "Yes, that one. What about it?"

"Why did you make him study psychology?"

"It came out of an ongoing discussion between us. I once suggested that he didn't really understand human beings very well. He thought that was ridiculous: obviously he understood them, since he could read their thoughts. I maintained that knowing a person's conscious thoughts did not necessarily reveal that much about him.  
"Some years ago, we disagreed about a particular individual, a human in the community where we lived at the time, who was faced with a difficult decision. We each predicted that person's future actions, Edward's prediction based on his reading of the person's mind, mine based on the emotions I could perceive. That was the basis of the bet. I suggested that, if Edward lost, he would have to admit that his gift did not give him as much insight into the human psyche as he thought, and he would benefit from studying it formally.  
"Of course, the person acted as I had predicted, and Edward enrolled in a psychology programme the following September."

"Interesting," I said. "I would have thought that mind reading would make people pretty transparent."

"It's deceptive, I think," he answered. "People are so much more than what pops into their conscious mind. I think meeting you has been educational for him." He chuckled.

"It has? Because he can't read my mind?"

"Exactly. He has to find other ways to understand you."

We reached the truck, and I started driving back to Forks. Alice was going through the bags of new clothing, and I glanced over at Jasper. "Can I ask you something else?"

"By all means."

"You don't have to answer. I mean, it might not be something you want to talk about." He nodded soberly. "I was just wondering if you could tell me what's going on with Rosalie."

"Going on?"

Alice grinned. "You mean the Jekyll-Hyde thing?"

"Yeah. I know she wasn't too happy about Edward and me, especially after all the trouble with James. After that, she seemed to accept me more, for a while. But it's gone back and forth. She'll be really nice, and act like I'm part of the family; and the very next day she'll turn on me again. I can't figure out what I'm doing to set her off."

Alice sighed. "You're not doing anything, sweetie."

"No, she's right," Jasper agreed. "I suppose you're asking me what her feelings are toward you. But I can't answer that, because Rosalie's feelings change so frequently. There are times when she feels quite fond of you; and other times when she dislikes and resents you intensely. She often feels ashamed of the way she speaks to you, but can't seem to help herself when the mood strikes her. You seem to bring out a great deal of strong emotion in her, both good and bad."

"But why?"

He shrugged. "I couldn't say. Unlike Edward," he grinned slyly, "i know the limits of what my gift can perceive. I can read a person's emotions, but not the cause. Only Rosalie could tell you why she feels the way she does."

"I see." I was right back where I'd started.

"If it's any help, I'm fairly certain it has nothing to do with any action of yours." He looked over at me. "You must wonder why nobody really objects when she's openly hostile to you. Even Edward does very little. Rosalie has a difficult time accepting...well, the way her life has gone. She suffers. We all feel a little protective of her."

That astonished me. It didn't seem to fit in with Rosalie's personality. I would have guessed the family didn't challenge Rosalie because they were afraid of her, rather than protective of her. Jasper watched me, taking in my reaction. "I can't explain; it's not my story to tell. Just try not to take her hostility to heart."

"All right."

Alice and Jasper had me drop them off on a deserted stretch of highway, close to Forks. "We'll be keeping watch," Alice told me, "or someone else from the family will."

"Thanks Alice. And thanks for the clothes." I called out the window, "Good night, Jasper!" and continued the drive home.

I went upstairs, showered and changed, then sat down in the rocking chair and read for an hour or so. For a change, I listened to Edward's other compilation CD. Then I got in bed and read another chapter. He still hadn't arrived by 11:30, the last time I checked my clock. I dozed, but woke repeatedly, unable to sleep soundly.

The next thing I knew, Edward was gently taking the open book out of my hands and tucking the covers around me. I half woke up, just enough to crawl sleepily into his arms. I sighed in contentment, and heard him chuckle softly as I fell back into sleep.

When I woke again, the sun was streaming through my bedroom window, making very faint rainbow lights bounce off Edward's face, so faint I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't known to look for them. "Good morning," he said, brushing the hair gently away from my face. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, very well. It's sunny, but you're hardly shining at all." I touched his face.

"The sunlight is filtered by the window glass. We can usually stay undercover on sunny days if we remain indoors." He was stroking my hair slowly. "Do you have any plans for today?"

"None at all. Charlie's gone until this evening, so I don't even have dinner to make." I began to pick up on his mood. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"There's a concern. The family hoped you could come by to discuss it." He shook his head as I started to ask more questions. "Please, Bella, it will take some time to explain. Could you wait until we get to the house? Then you can get your questions answered properly."

I agreed, and jumped out of bed. I quickly brushed my teeth, dressed, and fixed my hair. Edward insisted on my eating breakfast before leaving. Once I was finished, I turned to him impatiently.

"We should take your truck."

"Can't we just run?"

"But how would you explain getting there, if anyone asked?" He looked cautiously out the window. "There are a few people walking nearby. Would you mind driving a short distance and picking me up?" I agreed, and he kissed me briefly and disappeared. I didn't even see how he left.

I locked up the house and drove until I saw him standing by the highway, and pulled over. "I was always warned never to pick up hitchhikers," I told him. "I hope you appreciate the exception I'm making." He smiled, but I could tell he wasn't in the mood for jokes.

* * *

**(Inspiration for Jasper and Edward's bet came from Misinoo's excellent short-short story, Amputated at the Neck. Thanks!)**


	11. Scary Stories

The Cullens were assembled in the living room. They were all standing, making no effort to look human today. They greeted me, but only briefly, returning immediately to their discussion, which I wasn't quite able to follow. The television was on, and every few minutes they would stop talking to watch some news bulletin or other. Esme offered me breakfast, which I declined. "What's going _on_?" I asked Edward in a whisper.

"We've figured out what's happening in Seattle."

Carlisle muted the sound on the television and turned to me. "I'm afraid we have. It's not Victoria who's causing all this destruction, or even Victoria and a companion. It's newborns."

"Newborn vampires?"

"Yes, and not just one or two. The amount of chaos would suggest a larger number."

I dropped onto the sofa. "That's horrible. Why would there be a group of them, all in one place? Who's _making_ them?"

"We don't know who," Edward answered. "As for why..." He looked at Jasper.

"She should know," Jasper said firmly. "She's part of our family." He turned to me.

I learned about Jasper's background, and yet another important chapter of vampire history, in the account that followed. Shakespeare said it best, although I never thought I'd find an occasion in my own life where this particular quote applied: "I could a tale unfold, whose lightest word would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood, make thy two eyes, like stars, start from their spheres, thy knotted and combined locks to part and each particular hair to stand on end like quills upon the fretful porpentine."

Shakespeare didn't know the half of it.

Jasper was always straightforward with me; I liked that about him. He gave a faithful and graphic description of the Newborn Wars - new vampires, impossibly strong, unstable and vicious, created not as companions, but as weapons. Only when he reached the part of the story where the Volturi intervened did he seem to omit some of the lurid details.

I heard about Jasper's induction into this gruesome conflict. I also learned of his eventual escape, and how he and Alice had come to be together. It was a touchingly happy ending to a horrifying life, and gave me a moment's reprieve from the terrifying news. Then I tried to absorb the meaning of everything I'd been told.

"Why would someone be doing this here, in the north? Starting an army when there's nobody here to fight?"

"_We're_ here," Emmett pointed out.

My mouth fell open.

"It makes sense," Carlisle said. "We're the only significant coven in the area. We're established here. There's no other likely target."

"But why would anyone want to attack _you_?"

"That, we don't know," Jasper answered. "They may simply want the area to themselves. They may think any such large, stationary group of vampires is a potential threat. Someone from the south might have moved north to stake new territory, establishing an army to clear us out as a warning to others. We don't really understand the purpose. What we do know is that we may have to intervene, and soon. We have to go to Seattle."

"_You_ have to intervene?" The Cullens - _my_ family - placing themselves in the path of an army of rampaging newborn vampires? My hair actually did feel like it was standing on end.

"The newborns are killing openly and without restraint," Edward explained. "Normally, the Volturi would deal with a breach of this kind. We have to resolve the situation before they decide to move in. We can't have them finding you here."

"But why would they find me? Even if they came to look in on Carlisle, there's no reason for them to find out I even exist."

"Unfortunately, we may not be able to hide it from them," Carlisle said. "One of the Volturi leaders, Aro, has a talent. It's similar to Edward's, but more comprehensive. He sees not only present thoughts, but memories as well."

"So," Jasper said, "we're hoping we can find a way to deal with this ourselves, before the Volturi take note of it."

"But it sounds so dangerous!"

Edward rubbed my shoulder soothingly. "You've heard about Jasper's background. He fought countless newborns over the years, and never lost a fight. With his guidance, it should be quite straightforward."

"You don't even know how many there are." I was chewing my lip nervously. I hated the idea of any of them - especially Edward - being at risk.

"Oddly enough, it's not terribly important," Jasper said. "We know from the amount of damage in Seattle that there could not be more than thirty."

"Thirty!"

"Probably much fewer. But, as I said, it's not significant. Newborns have some fairly grave, and predictable, flaws in their fighting ability. They are strong, but also distractible, impatient, lacking in control. Knowing those weaknesses places us at a tremendous advantage."

"Should I help?" They looked at me. "If I were changed right away, I'd be able to help you fight them."

Alice smiled. "You wouldn't be any help, Bella. The same things that make newborns easy to fight, would make you a liability for months after the change. You'd be a newborn yourself: out of control, unable to focus, and we'd have to keep you safe. You'd make the fight harder to win, not easier."

"Oh."

"Don't worry, Bella," Emmett said. "This'll be a cake walk." I tried to smile back at him.

"The difficulty at the moment is choosing the appropriate time to act," Carlisle said. "Normally, we would depend on Alice to help us decide, but she is having some trouble with her vision of this situation."

Alice glowered. "I can't really explain. Even now that we've decided to go to Seattle and deal with this, I can't see us actually doing it. Possibly something interferes, or makes us change our minds."

"The Volturi arrive?" Esme suggested.

"No, I've been watching for them. It's something else."

"Could it be that the werewolves are involved?" Carlisle suggested. "You know you're unable to see anything involving them."

"But they don't know about the newborns," I objected.

"We don't _think_ they do, but we can't be sure. "

Alice nodded thoughtfully. "That could explain the blanks. I'll keep it in mind."

Planning continued into the afternoon. Carlisle telephoned their friends in Alaska, asking for their help in dealing with the newborn army. They agreed at first, but when Carlisle mentioned the werewolves, and his intention of inviting them to take part, the Denali cousins withdrew. Irina still resented the wolves for killing Laurent, and the rest of the family stood by her.

"That leaves us with fewer on our side than we'd expected," Carlisle noted. "I hope we can rely on the werewolves to assist us."

I thought of the boys, some barely more than children, who had met with us. The idea of them taking part in this fight disturbed me almost as much as the Cullens being involved in it.

Esme brought me out to the kitchen at noon, and gave me lunch. I ate, but was distracted by what I knew was going on in the living room.

"Think of something else for a while, dear," she advised me. "We don't need breaks, but you do. Don't wear yourself out." I tried to follow her advice.

When I rejoined the others, they turned to look at me. "We were just talking about you," Emmett said. "What we're going to do with you while all this is going down."

"What to do with me?"

"We can't all go to Seattle and leave you unprotected," Edward explained. "Not with Victoria still at large."

"We'll come up with something," Emmett said confidently. "In the meantime, we're still taking turns watching your house."

"I'm sorry for all this trouble..." I started to say, but they waved it off.

"Don't even think of it, Bella," Esme told me. "We'd never let you come to any harm. And keeping watch is no hardship for us."

I thanked them all. The meeting seemed to break up at that point. The television, sound off, was left tuned to a Seattle station but discussion suspended. Edward went to his piano, the others to their various projects. Jasper offered to give me some help with my chess game, and I accepted. He was patient with my slow grasp of the complexities of the game.

I noticed that he used military terminology to describe aspects of the game: a campaign, a blockade, a counterattack, a skirmish, an ambush. "Do you think it's true what they say," I asked him, "that chess is a lot like war?"

"Well," he said drily, "it may be a little like _human_ warfare. Vampire wars aren't like any kind of board game."

The Cullens seemed to be aware that Charlie wouldn't be home for dinner, and Esme and Edward had prepared a meal for me. I was told it was called Lobster Newburg, a new and wonderful experience.

"Please tell us if you get tired of lobster, Bella," Esme said. "We're not good at estimating these things, you know."

"To be honest, I doubt I'll get tired of it any time soon."

I went upstairs, took a human minute and straightened my hair, stopping off at Edward's room for another CD. I'd become fascinated by the glimpses into his past some of his compilations gave me. This time, I took a disc from 1967. When I returned, the family had gathered around the television. I looked at Edward questioningly.

"There's been another disappearance," he explained quietly.

"We have to act soon," Jasper said. "If you think the werewolves might agree to help, we should ask them."

Carlisle considered a moment, then took out his cell phone. He spoke briefly, and snapped it shut again. "We have a meeting with several representatives, tomorrow morning at 7:00. Bella, you are more than welcome to join us, of course."

"Thanks."

I said good night to all of them, and Edward left to bring me home. He even offered to drive the truck, although he did it with a look of long suffering that made me laugh. "I don't understand why you hate this truck so much."

"It's ugly, it's noisy, and it has the speed and handling ability of a large lawn tractor."

"Why did I ask?"

"You know, I could get you something new, maybe as a graduation present."

"A new _car_?"

"Certainly. There's a nice little Maserati sedan that...or," he went on smoothly, seeing my expression, "it could be something more conventional. What about a red Mustang? Pretty, easy to handle. You'd love it."

"Edward, you can't buy me a car!"

"I can if you let me." He gave me a pleading smile.

"Can you imagine what my father would say if I turned up with a new Mustang?"

"'Sweet ride'?"

"Edward!"

"What about when this truck finally, mercifully breaks down for good? Can I at least replace it?"

"You _really _don't like my truck, do you?"

"You deserve better." I turned to him, surprised at his serious tone.

"I don't feel deprived, Edward. This truck is perfect for me."

He gave me a disbelieving look, but dropped the subject.

His phone buzzed, and he spoke into it briefly. "Carlisle wants me back to discuss something or other. I'll come back tonight. Rosalie is guarding your house for now."

"Rosalie?" I asked in alarm.

"You won't even see her, love. She's just keeping watch until I get back." At his request, I left him at the side of the highway and continued home alone.

Charlie was still gone when I got there. I stashed the leftover Lobster Newburg in the fridge, went upstairs and took a shower, then settled down at my desk to study for a while. Less than an hour later, I heard a light tapping against my window, and looked up, thinking Edward was back and I'd accidentally left the window closed. I was startled to see Rosalie there instead.

Trying not to appear hesitant, I went to the window. "Rosalie?"

"Mind if I come in?"

"Um, no, not at all." I stood back as she slipped through the opening and stopped a moment, looking around my bedroom. I was a little uncomfortable with her scrutiny, as if my room might not measure up to her standards, then immediately felt annoyed with myself for thinking that way. "Is anything wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes, if that's all right."

"Sure, of course." She was being pleasant enough. I pulled out the chair at the computer desk and offered it to her, and she took it with a tight smile. I sat on the bed opposite her.

"I don't want to upset you," she began, "but how much has Edward told you about me?"

That was an ominous beginning, and it didn't get any better. I knew Rosalie had been brutally attacked, and saved from certain death by Carlisle. Edward hadn't given me the details, which Rosalie provided now.

Her story began harmlessly enough, with a depiction of her family and her happy, if unexamined, life in Rochester. She wanted nothing from life except a loving - and rich- husband and children of her own. When she was nudged into an engagement with a wealthy local man named Royce King, it looked like her dreams were about to come true. Then things changed.

Even after an evening featuring the history of the Newborn Wars, Rosalie's calm recounting of the vicious gang rape by her own fiancé and his friends chilled me. As she moved on from a description of her family and her engagement to an account of her horrible assault, her voice became almost dreamy. Maybe she was maintaining some distance between herself and those events, I thought. She went on to describe lying in a gutter, her life ebbing away, when Dr. Cullen discovered her and carried her to his home. This was followed by three days of mysterious, excruciating pain, of begging for death; and finally, of being told she had been transformed into a vampire.

It was only when she came to the end of the story - her revenge on her attackers - that I became truly frightened. She had systematically murdered each of them, one by one, saving her fiancé for last. She'd actually dressed up in a wedding gown and tortured him to death. Without spilling a drop of blood, she'd added with unaffected pride. It was eerie to listen to her coolly describe her acts of revenge, and gradually realize I was talking to someone who wasn't absolutely, totally all there. Not exactly deranged, but definitely not wrapped too tight; and it wasn't surprising, under the circumstances.

She seemed to notice something in my expression. "I'm sorry. Am I scaring you?"

"No, it's okay," I said, keeping my voice steady.

She smirked, obviously not believing me. "Well, that's how it went. 'Your face is your fortune,' my mother used to tell me, and sure enough, it was my looks that brought me where I am. Royce King chose me because I was beautiful. He and his friends...did _that_, because I was beautiful. It's why I ended up with no family, no babies of my own. And I eventually realized that being beautiful helped Carlisle decide to change me and present me to his beloved _son_." Her voice became bitter at this point. "Did Edward tell you that part?"

I gulped. "A little. He said it was kind of in the back of Carlisle's mind."

"Oh, yes. I was supposed to save poor Edward from a lifetime of lonely bachelorhood. Ironically, Edward turned out to be the only man I'd ever met who had no interest in me. Well, neither did Carlisle, but he was in love with Esme; Edward was alone. It bothered me a little, especially after he met you." She smiled at my expression. "Oh, I was never interested in Edward, either. We've never been more than brother and sister to each other. But I'd convinced myself he had no interest in me because he didn't care for women, or had something missing in his temperament that made him an eternal bachelor. That was kind of confirmed when we lived in Alaska with the other family; all those females! He even turned down...well, it fit in with my view of things. It couldn't possibly be anything wrong with _me_," she chuckled.  
"But then he met you, and everything changed. It was silly, but I was a little put out. How could he have no interest in beautiful, beautiful me, yet fall so completely in love with _you_?" Her tone was so obviously self-mocking, I didn't take offence - although I did wonder about her reference to the family in Alaska.

"Is that why you didn't like me?" I asked.

"That might have been a part of it, but only at first. No, the main thing was your decision to let yourself be changed. Turned into a vampire, before you were even out of your teens. It hurt to watch someone try to throw away things I'd give anything to have back."

"I wasn't trying to throw anything away. If Edward could be human with me, I wouldn't be trying to change anything. But that's not possible; and Edward and I can't be apart."

"I know that. I don't necessarily like it, but I know it's true. But if you're going to be one of us, you need to be prepared."

"The family have been telling me..."

"Oh, I know. The information sessions. The thing is, I don't think they're telling you some of the things you really should know - now, before it's too late."

Her earnestness captured my attention. "Like what?"

"They've told you that once you're changed, you stay the same. You probably take that to mean you'll look the same, appear the same age, forever. There's more to it than that. A lot more.  
"You remember Carlisle telling you about the Immortal Children?"

"Of course." It wasn't something you easily forget.

"The problem with the Children wasn't that they stayed young outwardly. It was that they could never grow or change in more basic ways. They could learn to speak fluently, to read; they could become rocket scientists, in theory. What they could never do is _mature_."

"No self control, Carlisle said. Like babies."

"Not just that. They would always retain the emotions and the perspective of babies. It's the same with all of us." I frowned, confused. "It's not so obvious with us, because we're adults; but we still stay frozen. Humans grow and change as they get older. Their way of looking at the world, at themselves, develops. We don't do that. I was eighteen when I was changed, so I forever have the mind of an eighteen year old. No matter how much I learn, how much I experience, I keep the same tastes, the same attitudes, the same perspective on things. Even when I _know_ that perspective is a little silly and shallow, I can't change it. Emmett," she smiled fondly,"has multiple college degrees, but he's the same rowdy juvenile he was when I found him. And Edward, after nearly a century, is still, at heart, a romantic, idealistic boy of seventeen.  
"Carlisle and Esme were a little older when they were changed, and had already taken on adult roles in life. That's why they seem genuinely older than the rest of us. They truly are the parents of the family."

I suddenly realized what Esme reminded me of: Wendy, playing mother to the Lost Boys.

"But they'll never take on a more mature mind set. They'll never be genuinely older. That may not seem like a loss to you now, Bella, but it is. You'll never have the experience of being a mature woman, of seeing the world from the vantage point of a long life. You'll be forever a teenager."

I blinked. "Believe it or not, I can see why that matters."

"I thought you might," she said, giving me a surprisingly affectionate smile. "At least you'll be a fairly rational young person. We were expected to think and act more or less like adults in my day, in Edward's day; but you're abnormally mature for a present-day teenager. I'd hate to imagine some of your classmates being frozen in place forever." She gave an exaggerated shudder, and I laughed.

"Rosalie, that was almost a compliment."

She grinned at me. She no longer looked half crazy; she actually seemed, for the moment, like a nice, friendly girl my own age. "There haven't been very many of those, have there? I've been unpleasant to you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"Can you listen a little more? I'm getting to the main point, I promise."

"Sure."

"You're going to be changed soon. That means anything basic to your personality, or very deeply ingrained, remains fixed. That can be a good thing, or a very bad thing.  
"I was changed at the very worst moment of my life. The man who was supposed to give me everything I hoped for from life had...well, I don't have to go through the story again. It's the kind of experience that changes a person very deeply. My way of looking at life, and at myself, was altered to something kind of...dark. Because I was changed by Carlisle at that moment, my outlook will always contain elements of that darkness. I can never completely get over what Royce did to me, never totally heal from it."

My eyes widened in horror. "Rosalie, that's..." I couldn't find the words.

"Yes, it is, isn't it? Even worse, I blamed myself to some extent for what had happened to me. I know the modern understanding is not to blame the victim in these cases, but I was a product of my time. I know it wasn't my fault; that is, I believe it intellectually, but I can never get past that feeling of shame, not altogether. Just as I can never completely get past that darkness."

My mind could barely take in the concept of someone held forever in the disposition of a recent rape victim. I remembered Carlisle's manner with Rosalie: always particularly tender, especially when she was being horrible. I understood now. Instead of saving Rosalie from that nightmare, he had made sure it would never end. He must have been appalled when he realized what he'd done. "Carlisle must feel..."

She half smiled. "Yes, I suppose he does. He's apologized to me many times, and I eventually managed to forgive him."

_Rosalie suffers_, Jasper had told me. _We all feel a little protective of her._ I suddenly saw Rosalie's place in the family from a completely different angle. I found myself feeling a little bit protective of her as well.

"Finding Emmett changed things for the better," she said, as if trying to reassure me. "It's not nearly as bad as it was. You might not think so, but Emmett is surprisingly patient, very good with people when he has to be. He gave me exactly what I needed. I might never have been able to…to function, as a wife, with anyone else. He gave me back some of what Royce took away." She laughed to herself. "He thought I was an angel. Emmett, when I found him and carried him away from that grizzly bear - he thought I was literally an angel come to carry him off, to save him. But he was the one who saved _me_. He's _my _angel."

She shook her head. "I keep digressing. The point is," she went on, "when you are changed, you take things like that with you. You may not have anything _that_ bad floating around in your subconscious, but if you have any doubts about being one of us; or any doubts, however vague, about Edward; or any issues with your parents; or any unresolved resentments or unfulfilled longings in your life - now is the time to deal with them. Now - because you won't be able to later."

I sat back, thinking. "Thanks, Rosalie. That sounds like really good advice. I don't know exactly how to go about it, but I'll work on it. I will, honest."

"Good," she said. "Then my work here is done. Apart from guarding your house against vengeful redheads, that is." She headed for the window. "Edward should be back to take my place soon."

"Thank you," I said, in all sincerity. "This was very nice of you."

"Don't mention it." She sprang from the window ledge, and disappeared into the darkness.

* * *

**(Many thanks to Eiluned Price for the inspiration provided by her wonderful story, Getting Warmer.)**


	12. The Green Eyed Monster

Between Jasper's war stories and Rosalie's confidences, I thought I'd never get to sleep. The multiple alarming thoughts running through my brain must have tired me out, because I seemed to doze off almost the minute I lay down. I awoke with a start in a completely dark room.

"I'm sorry," I heard Edward whisper. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay. I'm glad you're back." I found my way into his arms, kissing him drowsily. He responded, threading his fingers through my hair, placing gentle kisses along my neck before returning to my lips. The relief I felt at having him with me again made me daring, and I moved closer as I kissed him, until our bodies were pressed together, then hooked a leg over one of his. I assumed that would put an immediate end to things, but Edward, after a moment's hesitation, actually held me tighter for a few sweet seconds before sighing and moving away. I was getting to really hate it when he did that.

I sat up in bed and turned on the small lamp on the nightstand. After a little recovery time, I asked, "Is Charlie home?"

"Yes, he got back around 10:30. He looked in on you a short time ago."

"What time is it?"

"Just after midnight. I sent Rosalie home."

"Is everything okay?"

"It's fine. Well, as fine as it's going to be for now. Jasper had some ideas, and Carlisle wanted us to go over them before we spoke to the werewolves in the morning. I assume you want to attend that meeting?"

"Of course."

He took my hand and kissed it. "Everything seems to be in an uproar. Danger from all directions. I look forward to getting this resolved."

"You're very sure it _will_ be resolved? I mean, without any of you getting hurt?"

"Very sure, yes. Positive beyond a doubt, no."

"I wish there was something I could _do_," I said, hating my helplessness.

"I'm sure you do. The last time we were in such dire circumstances, you ran to certain death with a readiness that still alarms me."

"It seemed necessary at the time," I said, embarrassed at how easily James had tricked me.

He kissed the top of my head. "Can we talk about something else for now?"

"Absolutely. Oh - actually, I wanted to ask you about something. Rosalie and I had a talk before you came back."

"Yes, I heard about the talk in Rosalie's thoughts. I hope she didn't upset you."

"No. Well, some of it was awful, of course. I didn't know all about what happened to her, back then. But mostly it was a good talk."

"And you wanted to ask me something about the transformation process?"

"No, not that. I was wondering about something else she mentioned. About when your family were living in Alaska."

He looked puzzled. "Yes?"

"Rosalie was saying that...well, that you never had any interest in her, or in any other woman."

"Not until I met you," he said, his voice like velvet.

"Well, she said that you stayed with a family that had several females."

He seemed to become a little nervous.

"I got the impression that at least one of them was interested in you; that maybe..." He avoided my eyes. "Apparently my impression was right." I braced myself. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened, Bella. Nothing of the slightest importance."

"Then why don't you want to talk about it?" He said nothing. "Okay. I guess you're entitled to your secrets. You were alive a long time before I was around, after all."

"Bella, there is nothing in my life I want to keep secret from you. And I _wasn't_ alive before you were around - not in that way, certainly." I crossed my arms, not convinced. He sighed. "One of the females, Tanya, expressed a little interest. I politely indicated I did not return her interest. That was the end of it."

"Then why were you so reluctant to tell me about it?"

"Because it doesn't relate only to myself."

"So you were protecting Tanya? But why? Did you assume I'd hunt her down if I thought she had designs on you?" He chuckled, but he still looked uneasy. "So...it was more serious on her side? She was in love with you?"

"No, definitely not. Her interest in me was...casual."

"Casual?" It finally clicked. "You mean, she just wanted...?" Holy crap! A gorgeous - presumably - female vampire had wanted _my_ Edward to be her friend with benefits!

He looked intensely embarrassed. "It seems extremely ungentlemanlike to reveal these things, but I don't want you to be concerned. Especially when there is no reason."

I fell silent a minute or two, thinking. "Tanya is beautiful, I assume - like all vampires?"

"I suppose she could be considered pretty."

I snorted. "What does she look like?"

He shrugged. "She was in her twenties when she was changed. About 5'6", I believe. She has strawberry blonde hair that she's very proud of."

A blonde; it figured. I thought briefly and uncharitably of Lauren Mallory. "But you didn't like her?"

"Of course, I liked her," he said blandly. "I like the entire Denali family."

"You know that's not what I meant."

"I know. I'm just not sure what to say, Bella. Tanya didn't really understand my refusal. Partly, it was because I'm averse to anything so, er, perfunctory. I knew I couldn't love Tanya except as a friend. And partly it was sheer lack of interest."

"But...you'd been single for such a long time. Didn't you at least think of accepting her offer, even for a moment? Did you really have absolutely no interest in...?" He was looking up at a corner of the ceiling. "I'm not going to be upset, Edward. It's just that...this is a part of you I don't really understand. If I'm going to be your wife, I should..." I broke off, surprised by my own comment.

Edward looked at me with equal surprise. "You seem to find saying that much easier than you used to."

I shrugged, embarrassed. "I told you I was working on it."

He kissed me suddenly. "I love hearing you call yourself my wife. I'll never get tired of it." He touched my face, which was probably turning red.

"Are you avoiding my question?"

"No, I'll try to answer you, but it's difficult to explain." He thought a second. "I've heard humans, when asked if they were hungry, answer rather equivocally, '_I could eat_'. Not '_yes, I'm hungry_,' if I understand the distinction; but '_I could summon an appetite if the situation called for it'_." He looked at me, and I nodded.  
"It was more or less like that with Tanya. The feelings that finally emerged in full force after I met you, they were dormant all those years before. Not completely dead, but sleeping. I think I _could_ have accepted Tanya's offer, theoretically, but there simply wasn't enough of an incentive."  
He looked thoughtful. "Carlisle and Esme speculated on why I was so...unmotivated. I thought there may be something wrong with me. Now, of course, I know that I was simply waiting for you." He smiled at me, and I nestled into his arms.  
"It was a long wait," he mused. "Living with one, then two, and finally three perfectly matched, passionately enamoured couples could sometimes be trying."

I had a glimpse of his life: a century as the sole bachelor among these happy, affectionate pairs. It was a depressing image.

"When Carlisle first found Esme, and they fell in love," he went on, "I confess, I felt a little resentful at first, a little jealous. I had been Carlisle's only companion until then. He couldn't help but feel more strongly about Esme than about me, think of her more. She became the centre of his life. I suppose that was part of the reason I left for a time."

"You mean during your...vigilante phase?"

"Yes. I finally returned, and accepted the new arrangement. Carlisle and Esme made every effort to ensure I felt included in their lives, and I moved past any petty resentments very quickly. I was glad, _truly_, that Carlisle had so much happiness in his life. I was selfish enough to also feel a little envious, on occasion."

He caught my expression. "No, it wasn't that bad. I wasn't particularly lonely, because I didn't feel I was missing anything I truly wanted. And I would have waited ten times as long to finally have you.  
"But Carlisle felt badly for me, and I'm afraid that partly inspired the impulse to save Rosalie when he found her dying."

"She thinks that was the reason."

"I know. She has every reason to feel bitter about that. Carlisle soon recognized that he'd been misguided in his decision to change Rosalie, but at the time he felt as if fate had intervened." He smiled at me suddenly. "They all - Carlisle and Esme in particular - saw your arrival in our lives as something amazing, something we'd all given up hoping would ever happen. They were convinced - as was I - that my heart was untouchable."

"I don't understand why it happened. Why _me_, I mean. I suppose it was because you couldn't read my mind."

"Why would that be the reason?"

"I'm not sure, but it's the one thing that sets me apart. That and the scent thing."

"Those are most definitely _not_ the only things that set you apart. I was drawn to you almost from the first time I saw you, but every new thing I learned about you thereafter only added to your charm. It was like...a riddle I could never solve, but once I'd heard the answer, it seemed painfully obvious. Once I knew you, I understood you were what I had been waiting for."

I rested my head on his shoulder. "I don't really believe in fate, you know; but it seemed almost like that for me, too."

I yawned unexpectedly, and he laughed. "You should rest. You have an early day tomorrow."

I let myself be settled down in the comforter, Edward close to me. "You'll wake me?"

"Of course. Sleep well, love. Have sweet dreams."

I did sleep, soundly and peacefully, until I opened my eyes to find Edward kissing me awake. "Six-fifteen," he whispered. "Charlie has left for work. Have you had enough sleep?"

"I'll manage." I climbed out of bed and staggered to the bathroom. By the time I emerged, dressed, I was fully awake. Edward had made my bed and straightened out my books and CD's, but I noticed there was dust under the bed and a small pile of dirty laundry in one corner. "Thanks for tidying up," I said. "I should give my room a good cleaning."

He picked me up and flew down the stairs with me, setting me down lightly in the kitchen, where I ate a hasty breakfast. He checked outside for passers by, and finally went out the back door with me, picked me up and dashed through the small back yard and into the surrounding trees. He stopped a few minutes later. The other Cullens were already present, and we walked together, at human speed, the last few yards to the meeting site.

There were ten of them, the boys who'd met with me earlier, plus Leah Clearwater. They were talking a little angrily, it seemed to me, but broke off when we arrived, and turned to face us.

"Good morning," Carlisle said. A few of them nodded in response. "I think you understand the reason for our meeting?"

"Not exactly," Sam said. "It's about the killings in Seattle, right? You think it's others like you."

"To be specific, we believe it is newly made vampires. Probably many of them. Someone is producing them but not restraining them properly."

This caused a slight stir among the Quileutes. "Why would anybody do that?" Jacob asked.

Carlisle glanced at Jasper, who spoke up. "In the past, it has sometimes been done to produce soldiers or bodyguards. Vampires competing for territory would produce an army of newborns - new vampires - to fight on their behalf."

Sam swore softly, and the other pack members shifted uneasily. "So there's at least two competing groups like this around Seattle? Two armies, fighting each other?" Paul asked.

Jasper shook his head. "Unlikely. That kind of war largely ended years ago, and has never taken place in this region. We think there is only one group of newborns being produced." He glanced at Carlisle. "As the only family of our kind in the area, _we_ are the most probable target."

One of the younger boys gave a snort of laughter. "You've got to be kidding! You must've really pissed somebody off!" Sam gave the boy a look, and he fell quiet.

"So that's why you're going to Seattle?" Sam said. "Because you think they're coming for you eventually?"

"Partly that. Also because they are killing freely and openly. That is bad enough in itself, but it could also bring the attention of...others."

"Law enforcement," Emmett clarified. The Quileutes looked puzzled. "_Vampire_ law enforcement. They come in when any of us get too obvious, might cause humans to suspect something. You don't want them turning up, trust me."

Paul smirked. "It wouldn't be a problem."

"I'm afraid it would be," Carlisle said quietly. "I know your capabilities, and I do not underestimate them when I say, you would have no power against these individuals."

Sam snorted, looking offended. "What, they're stronger than average? Huge numbers of them?"

"They are a small group; they have no need of numbers, or of strength. Their weapons act primarily against the mind, and there is no defence against them. Please believe me: it is not in your interest, any more than ours, to have them arrive here."

The Quileutes looked sullen, but they seemed to believe Carlisle. "So what is it you want from us?" Sam asked.

"To join us when we travel to Seattle. We intend to investigate and, if the situation is as we suspect, to eliminate this newborn army before it does further harm."

"Before it comes after _you_, you mean," Leah called out. She looked as angry as ever.

"Ideally, yes. We feel we have the right to protect ourselves; but we would also be preventing many more human deaths, and possibly the intervention of 'law enforcement'. It would be to our mutual advantage to put an end to this threat."

"That makes sense," Seth said.

"How many do you expect?" Sam asked.

"Wait a minute," Leah put in before Carlisle could answer. "Why are we helping with this _now_?"

Sam turned to look at her. "What do you mean, Leah?"

"The treaty doesn't call for it. We agreed not to attack _them_, but we didn't agree to protect them against their own kind."

"But we'd be protecting everybody else at the same time," Seth pointed out. "It's what we'd want to do anyway."

"But _they_," she jerked her head toward the Cullens, "are already planning to fight these new vamps. Why don't we just let them? If they kill off all the new ones, problem solved. If they don't manage to destroy them all, we can step in and finish the job."

"But," I objected, "if you don't help, there's a chance some of the Cullens could get killed in the fight!"

"That's the other advantage," she said, with a triumphant grin.

"_Jeez_, Leah!" Seth said. She ignored him.

"_What_!" I prepared to rant, but Edward put a hand on my shoulder, and I reluctantly fell silent.

"I've gotta say, it makes sense," Jacob said. "Leah's right: the treaty keeps us from harming them, but we don't have to actually protect them. The best case scenario would be both sides wiping each other out."

I stood there, my eyes filling with angry tears, my hands balled into fists, until Esme came over and put her arms around me. I held onto her tightly to keep myself quiet.

"I understand," Carlisle was saying. "May I ask you to continue to accept our phone calls?"

"What for?" Paul snapped.

"We will try to notify you if our efforts fail, or if the newborns will be coming into your area. And we have one other request."

"Why are we taking their requests?" Leah asked angrily.

"This is a request you may not object to fulfilling, although of course you are free to refuse. We are concerned about leaving Bella and her father unprotected while we are in Seattle. If the newborns are being created to act against my family, it is possible they will identify Bella as part of that family."

"But..." I began, and again stopped as Edward touched my lips to ask me to be quiet.

"How would they identify her, if you're not with her?" Sam asked.

"Our scent is all over the house. And even if the newborns were not an issue, Victoria is still a danger. Would you be willing to protect Bella and Charlie during the time we are away?"

Sam nodded once. "That wouldn't be a problem."

"No!" Edward tried to shush me again, but I pushed him - ineffectively - away. "No, stop it, Edward! I don't want those miserable, double-crossing _thugs_ guarding me!"

"Bella," Carlisle said, "it's necessary. We don't have a chance against the newborns unless we all go, and we can't leave you unprotected under the circumstances."

"We need to keep you safe, Bella," Alice said.

"But I wouldn't necessarily be safe with them." I glared across at the pack. "You heard them!"

Esme patted my hand. "They wouldn't let you come to harm, I'm sure."

"They might, if they thought it would hurt _you_." I spoke over their protests. "Leah would - I can see it. And she might convince the others. Hasn't she considered it?" I asked Edward.

"Yes," he said, glancing at Leah. "And other things, as well." Leah stared back at him, her lovely face distorted by fury. "But I can't say whether she'd put those ideas into action. They _seem_ to be mere wishful thinking."

Jasper shook his head. "I can't be sure, either."

"One moment, please," Carlisle said to the Quileutes, and the Cullens moved a short distance away to talk. I came with them, but couldn't understand their conversation. It was too quiet, and too fast. After no more than fifteen seconds, they all moved back to the meeting site.

"Thank you very much," Carlisle said politely, facing Sam, "but we are withdrawing our request."

There was some nervous body language within the pack. "You don't want us to guard Bella?" Sam said.

"No, thank you."

"But...you're stuck with the same problem," Jacob said. "She'd be in danger if you left."

"I realize that," Carlisle said, "but we will have to find another solution."

I stood silently beside Edward, turning red and feeling miserable. I hated being the cause of all this inconvenience. I half wished I'd accepted the pack's offer instead of making such a fuss.

Several of the boys looked pointedly at Leah, who crossed her arms and scowled back at them. "Look," Sam told Carlisle, "Leah may get mad, but she wouldn't really hurt Bella. And even if she tried to, we'd never let her. She'd be safe with us."

"Maybe our definitions of _safe_ are slightly different," Edward said. His voice was smooth, but there was an undertone of menace in it. "Mine would include being free from any threat of abduction, as well as physical injury." He looked at Jacob, and I remembered that Edward had heard vague plans to kidnap and 'deprogram' me in Billy Black's thoughts.

"Perhaps we are mistaken," Carlisle said in his most conciliatory manner, "and if so, we apologize. But we cannot take any chances with Bella's safety. She is too important to us. We appreciate your offer, but we will have to find some other way."  
Sam seemed to be trying to find words. "We will, of course, still notify you if there is any activity moving your way," Carlisle concluded. "Thank you for agreeing to speak with us."

The family moved simultaneously, and I found myself in Edward's arms, the wind whistling past us, before I realized what was happening. They stopped, as before, close to the highway. "I'll take Bella home, then come back," Edward said. "We have to figure something out."

"I'm so sorry!" I burst out. "I should have kept my mouth shut and let them guard me. Now you have to..."

"Bella," Carlisle said, "you were perfectly correct. Edward was aware of their thoughts, and he would have pointed out the risk if you had not."

"We rely on every family member to indicate possible sources of danger," Jasper said. "You acted appropriately."

I nodded, feeling a little better, and Edward whisked me away.

He returned at the usual time, in his Volvo, to take me to school. "It's a nice day," he observed as he pulled away from the curb. "Warm enough for you, and cloudy enough for me."

"You're not really going to talk about the weather, are you?" He laughed. "What happened after you dropped me off?"

"We discussed it, and came up with one or two possible solutions."

"Such as?"

"Asking the Denali family to take you in for a day or two."

"You mean, go to Alaska?"

"Yes. If we timed the trip to Seattle for the weekend, we could probably come up with a plausible reason for you to be away from home. An organized tour of Dartmouth would probably meet with your father's approval."

"Probably. What's the other option?"

"We could simply arrange for you to leave the area, by yourself. An actual trip to New Hampshire, for example, instead of a fictional one. None of us is really satisfied with the idea; we'd use it only as a last resort. Carlisle is going to talk to the Denalis today; then we'll know where we stand."

We arrived at school, and I tried to settle my mind enough to focus on the day's classes. Lauren Mallory greeted us as we entered the school building. "Bella, _hi_! What a cute top!"

"Uh, thanks." I looked down at myself. I was wearing an item I'd brought from Arizona: a three year old grey tee shirt with a fading picture of a cactus on the front. I looked back up in time to catch a quick smirk from Lauren, before she turned her attention to Edward.

"Edward, did you finish that English assignment? The 'compare and contrast' one?"

"I did." Edward put a protective arm around my shoulders. I assumed Lauren's thoughts were not particularly benevolent.

"I don't suppose you could help me with it? I'm kind of hopeless, and you always get perfect marks in that class. Maybe we could get together after school, so I could pick your brain?" She laughed lightly, running her hand over her sleek cap of blonde hair.

I realized she was flirting with Edward right in front of me. Senior year was running out, and she had decided to stake her claim openly. I felt a mixture of indignation and a sense of my own inadequacy, and I had no idea what to do or say.

A moment later, I had what was probably an epiphany of some kind. For a second or two I saw Lauren through Edward's eyes, and realized that her flirting was harmless, completely and totally inconsequential. Lauren may be taller than me and have a better figure than I do; she may have prettier clothes, professionally cut hair, and the ability to walk down a corridor without stumbling or running into something, but it didn't matter. She might have been a scarecrow in an old plastic raincoat, for all it mattered to Edward. For decades, he'd taken no interest in offers from even the most beautiful women, and why? Because he'd been waiting for _me_. The certainty of that, while it lasted, was breathtaking. I wondered where it had all come from.

"I'm sorry," Edward was telling her coolly, "but Bella and I usually have plans after school."

"Oh, of course." Lauren gave me a quick sidelong glance, and seemed momentarily taken aback. I realized my expression was not what she expected: I was smiling broadly. I couldn't help it. "Well," she said, turning back to Edward, "maybe you could give me a few minutes during lunch? If Bella can spare you, that is."

I grinned up at Edward, who seemed a little bemused by my reaction, but neither of us got a chance to answer Lauren. Alice came running along the corridor at that moment. "Lauren! I'm glad I ran into you. Here." She placed a large, pale blue envelope in Lauren's hand. "Graduation party," she sang, handing an identical envelope to me.

"Where? At your place?" Lauren asked, her voice betraying her eagerness. She'd never been a fan of the Cullens, but probably wasn't immune to the curiosity most of the school had about the Cullen house. In some of their minds, it was a palace with defensive ramparts and a fully functioning Bat Cave. They had no idea how close they were to the truth.

"Yes, the night of graduation. I hope you can come." She ran on down the hallway, handing invitations to fellow seniors.

"Is she inviting the whole senior class?" I asked Edward.

"That's my understanding," he said. "I have no part in it, beyond helping to choose the music. Excuse me, Lauren, but we're going to be late for class." He started moving down the corridor.

"Come join us at lunch, if you want," I called back to her cheerfully.

"What has put you in such a good mood?" he asked as we took our seats in the first period classroom. "Not that I object."

"Oh, nothing. Lauren."

He gave me a disbelieving look. "You wouldn't feel that way if you had to listen to her thoughts. She's a rather spiteful person."

"It doesn't matter," I said complacently. He sighed, probably with frustration over being unable to hear my thoughts, and I smiled to myself as I tore open Alice's invitation. I scanned it quickly, then my eyes stopped and fixed on the date of the party. I stared at the invitation card, my thoughts suddenly agitated, barely noticing when the teacher called the class to order. It was less than two weeks until graduation.


	13. Reconciliation

It was an easy day. There was only one exam, which I was more than ready for, thanks to Edward's tutoring and Alice's slightly unlawful help. I'd refused to let her tell me which questions would be on my tests, but couldn't completely stop her from tossing out fairly broad hints. "Is this how you keep your perfect grades?" I asked her, after she whispered yet another hint to me in the school corridor. I was a little uncomfortable with the ethics of the situation.

She laughed. "I keep my perfect grades by having twenty times more education than any of the teachers! You'll be in the same boat one day," she reminded me, "so get used to being at an advantage."

Lauren actually had come to sit at our table during lunch. Edward, reserved but flawlessly polite, helped her with her English paper and completely ignored her efforts to bring the conversation around to more personal topics.

As we were walking back to his car at the end of the school day, Edward said, "I have one or two things I'd like to ask you about. I didn't have the opportunity during lunch."

"Okay." I stumbled trying to get into the passenger seat, and he caught my arm and helped me into the car, grinning. I stuck my tongue out at him, which only made him smile harder.

He started the engine and maneuvered easily out of the parking lot. "First, what made you so happy when Lauren Mallory was speaking to us? You may not have heard her thoughts, but you were probably aware that she was being unpleasant."

"Yeah, I knew that. She was pretty obvious about it. I guess I had a moment of insight, and I didn't mind what she was doing any more."

"Yes?" I realized that I was blushing. He reached over and touched my face as he drove. "What was this insight?"

"It's nothing important."

"But I'd love to know," he wheedled, his velvet-warm voice irresistible. "Please, Bella?"

"Well…I could see what Lauren was doing, that she was trying to flirt with you. She's done that before. Anyway, I sort of realized that there was no way it could ever be effective, because she's…" I broke off, flustered.

Edward looked intrigued. "Because she's what?" I shrugged. "Because she's a rude, conniving little fiend?" he joked.

"No. Because she's…"

"Yes?"

"She's not me," I concluded faintly. "She could be the most beautiful, perfect girl on earth, and it wouldn't matter to you. Lauren doesn't work on you, because you're _mine_. You've always tried to tell me, but for a minute there, I just _knew_…" Horribly embarrassed, I looked out the passenger window to hide my face.

After a few seconds, I felt him take my hand and press it to his lips, kissing my knuckles, my wrist, my palm, then holding my hand against his cold face. I turned to him and met his eyes.

"Thank you," he whispered.

At once pleased and mortified by the conversation, I tried to change the subject. "Didn't you say there were two things you wanted to ask me?"

He grinned, recognizing my typical reaction to anything overtly emotional. "I did. What was it about Alice's party invitation that shocked you so badly?"

"Oh, that? It was only the date. She's having the party on the day of graduation."

"And?"

"It's less than two weeks away." He frowned, not seeing the significance. "I just didn't realize it was coming up so fast. I mean, I did know the date, of course, but it hit me that there's very little time left."

"Until graduation?"

"Until…everything that's supposed to happen after graduation."

"Ah." He looked over at me. "If I recall, our agreement gave graduation as the earliest possible date, not the deadline. You are free to take as much time as you like; or to change your mind completely. I hope you know that."

"I do know it. It's not that I want more time. It's just that I still haven't decided what to do about Charlie and my mom. And that it's a big step."

"To say the least," he murmured.

"There's been so much going on, all the terrible things in Seattle, and the werewolf politics, and Victoria - and studying for finals, of course," I added. Edward snorted. "It's driven those other things out of my mind."

"Understandable. As I said, there's no rush. And I hope you're keeping in mind the other part of our agreement. Another event has to take place first."

How could I forget? Wedding first, vampire transformation second; that was the deal. "I'm definitely keeping it in mind. And…I think we can move forward on that fairly soon."

"Really?" He smiled at me. "Just say the word."

"Can I ask _you_ something?"

"Of course."

"Just how scary is Alice's graduation party going to be?"

He laughed. "It's a party given by Alice. Be prepared for anything."

Later, after I was ready for bed but before Edward returned for the night, I lay down and prepared myself to do some 'working through,' using the techniques from Edward's psychology class. Trying to remember how the process went, I closed my eyes, breathed slowly and relaxed. I tried to allow my mind to wander freely.

Weddings, I thought. What is it I don't like about weddings? _Everything_, my mind immediately replied. Not helpful; I needed to be more specific.

The big, pouffy white dress came to mind. Good, that's a start. I thought about wedding dresses. Pictures of them in magazines, television weddings, movie weddings. My mom making wisecracks about the expense, the hidebound tradition, brides who looked like fancy desserts, shepherdesses, or the Swan Queen. Everybody staring at the woman in white. Yes, the wedding dress was definitely a big part of my issues with weddings

My mind toyed with the subject, showing me more and more images, and I tried to let it wander freely. I pictured myself at my own wedding, wearing a white dress, and I backed away from the image. _Then don't wear it_, some part of me whispered. I took that idea and ran with it.

Edward had told me, more than once, that he didn't care what form the wedding took. Whatever I was most at ease with, was fine with him. What if I could skip the big, pouffy white dress altogether? A white dress didn't make the marriage real. I could wear anything I wanted to.

My thoughts went in more trivial directions. I pictured a dress, pretty but bearing no resemblance to a wedding gown. _Married in blue, he'll always be true_ came back to me - part of an old rhyme, from the days when being married in white was not considered essential. Just a simple blue dress, maybe one I could ask Alice to help pick out, or even to make herself, if she liked. I saw myself preparing to get married in such a dress. Already the wedding seemed less formidable.

Encouraged, I gave up strictly following the technique and started going over the other difficulties in a conscious, problem-solving way.

The crowd of observers? No reason anybody should be there except the Cullens. My mom and Charlie would probably never hear about it - I was supposed to go off to college and then, one way or another, disappear forever. I closed off that avenue of thought for the moment. Just the Cullens, then. That was bearable. And maybe one of them getting a license online, so he or she - or they - could perform the ceremony. In their house, not in a church or a rented hall, with a little family party afterward.

Things were looking better and better.

Walking up the aisle? The idea bothered me, partly because of the image of people gawking as I made my big entrance, and partly because of Mom's vague feminist objections to the bride being given away. If Charlie wouldn't be there to escort me up the aisle, there was no real need to enter that way at all. Edward and I could enter together, or simply skip the entrance and gather unceremoniously to take our vows. I liked that.

I realized I was grinning. The picture in my head of a small, private, simple, non-pouffy wedding was surprisingly pleasant to contemplate.

What about the actual ceremony? Do we write our own vows, or use the standard words? Set in the context of my quiet little anti-wedding, I found nothing objectionable in taking traditional vows. Unless Edward decided to be funny and insist on including 'obey' in the bride's vows. The word was probably part of all wedding ceremonies in his day. I found myself laughing softly as I pictured the argument that was likely to result. I would hold him to his promise, though: I had to be comfortable with the wedding ceremony, and that meant no vows of obedience.

I realized that I actually liked the image of Edward, promising to love and cherish me forever. I decided that we could go with traditional vows. Edward would like that.

A few stray thoughts pictured Edward crushing a wineglass under his foot as we were married beneath a chuppah, or both of us wearing kimonos and headpieces for a Shinto wedding, or the two of us being wed by an unconvincing Elvis in a wedding chapel in Las Vegas. I ignored them; I was just entertaining myself now, the main issues having been successfully dealt with.

One last difficulty came into my mind: the engagement ring. That, however, was something I'd have to work out with Edward. I was pretty sure he'd be reasonable, and not try to make me wear some ostentatious rock on my finger.

Amazingly, I seemed to have found a way to bypass most, if not all, of my fears about weddings, and found a way to marry Edward without breaking out in hives. I could even look forward to the event a little. It was like a weight being taken from my shoulders. I closed my eyes again and let myself fall into a deep, contented sleep.

I woke to find Edward already beside me, a blanket tucked around me. "What time is it?" I mumbled.

"Just past two," he replied quietly.

I moved over to close the few inches that remained between us, curling up in his arms and drowsily kissing his chin, his neck, anywhere I could easily reach. I finally found his lips, and my sleepiness started to fall away. It seemed as if every time we touched felt better than the last. Edward's hands rested on my back, on my shoulders, lighting and immediately moving away as they always did. His lips moved from my mouth to my neck, nuzzling my collarbones and the sensitive spot under my ear, then back to my lips again. It felt heavenly.

I, meanwhile, was showing less restraint than Edward. As the kissing gradually intensified, I stroked my hands slowly up his arms, down his back, then finally wound my arms around his neck and arched my body against his, hooking one leg over his hip. My heart was pounding, my skin felt electric. I knew this was crossing the line, but hoped he wouldn't, for once, push me away. It all felt so wonderful; wasn't there some way I could convince him to let it go on?

He broke our kiss, inhaling sharply, and quickly pulled my arms from around his neck. "Edward," I protested, sounding breathless and a little whiny, trying to pull him back into my arms.

He held my wrists, firmly keeping me at a distance. "Bella, please." His voice sounded different; not angry, but deadly serious. Finally accepting that there was no use arguing, I rolled away so my back was to him, lay still and tried my best to calm down.

A little while later, I turned back to face him. "I'm sorry." It wasn't an entirely sincere apology, but it was the best I could do.

"It's all right," he said, just a tiny bit distant. I understood. We held hands as I finally fell asleep, but I didn't curl up against him as I usually did.

We were both more at ease the next morning, when Edward left to go home and retrieve his car. I dressed and went downstairs, where Charlie was just hanging up the phone. "Bella, I won't be home for dinner. The Seattle police are setting up a briefing later on, and I should go."

"Over the stuff happening in the city?" I cringed a little at the reminder.

"Yeah. Can I take this?" He took a bag from the fridge containing leftovers from my last meal at the Cullens' house.

"Sure. Keep it cold until you're ready to eat," I told him, weirdly amused at the idea of Charlie brown-bagging a container of Lobster Newburg to work.

Edward arrived in his Volvo before Charlie had left for the day. They exchanged greetings, and Charlie turned back to me. "I could leave you a few dollars, if you want to get yourself a pizza or whatever."

"Thanks, Dad, but I can fix myself something."

"if you're on your own tonight, maybe you could come have dinner with us," Edward suggested.

"Esme wouldn't mind?" Charlie asked.

"Not at all. Bella's always welcome. But I'll call and let her know, just to be sure."

"Okay, problem solved. You get a day off cooking."

I gathered my books. "See you tonight Dad. Good luck with the briefing thing."

"Thanks."

We got into Edward's car. "The briefing concerns the situation in Seattle, I take it?"

"Yes. The police are going crazy trying to figure it out."

"Fortunately, we may be able to schedule our trip to Seattle very soon."

"Oh! Your friends in Alaska agreed to let me stay there?" I felt nervous at the prospect.

"They did, but I was referring to something else. Carlisle received a phone call early this morning from Sam Uley. They want to meet again."

"What for?" I was suspicious.

"I'm not completely certain, and of course Alice can't see; but Carlisle said Sam sounded amicable."

"That's good," I said cautiously.

"Of course, that's Carlisle's impression. He tends to assume the best about everyone. Still, Sam didn't have to call us at all."

"When is the meeting?"

"At 4:00. Which works out well, since you aren't expected home."

"Why do _you_ think they want to meet?"

"I don't actually know, but they _were _genuinely ashamed of their behaviour during our last discussion. Most of them were, at least. Once again, they found themselves in the position of being a danger to a threatened human, rather than her protector. That goes very much against the grain for them. I expect they may make a forthright offer to guard you, no strings attached." He looked over at me questioningly.

"Okay."

"Would you really be content with that?"

"If all of you were sure they could be trusted, I'd be fine with it."

He smirked at me. "You're still furious with them, aren't you?"

"Yes. I don't like what Leah and Jacob said about you. But it's important that we get this worked out soon; and anyway, Sam's not the only one who can be amicable."

"Very diplomatic."

"Of course, they may have asked to meet just because they thought of a few new insults." I remembered something else. "Oh, could you possibly pick me up a little earlier tomorrow morning?"

"Certainly, but why?"

"I wanted to drop my truck off. I think it needs an oil change. It probably does by now, doesn't it?"

"How long since the last one?"

"I don't know. It was before I owned it."

He raised an eyebrow. "Then it should be due."

"Okay, then. I'll drop it off at Dowell's in the morning, and you can drive me to school from there, if that's all right."

"It's fine; but have you considered my offer?"

"What offer?"

"A replacement for your truck." He spoke over my protest. "You can't expect it to last much longer, Bella. Why not accept a new car before you find yourself stranded on the highway?"

"Edward, we've been over this. You can't expect me to take an offer like that seriously."

"If you're concerned about what your father would think, we could arrange to make it look like you've won the car in a contest."

"Very ingenious, but that's not the point. Well, not the only point."

"Did you ever drive anything but this truck?" He pulled into the school parking lot.

"I drove Mom's car, back in Phoenix."

He grimaced slightly, apparently at the memory of my mother's six year old Toyota. "Nothing more interesting?"

I giggled. "A motorcycle. Well, a dirt bike." I sobered as I remembered the circumstances.

He looked at me sharply. "When did you ride a motorcycle?"

"When you were away." I got out of the car, trying to get past the stab of pain I still felt whenever I thought of that time.

He looked ready to deliver a lecture, but instead just took my hand as we walked to the school entrance.

Lately, the actual school day, the lessons and the in-house conflicts, had become less and less central to my life. I still liked talking to my friends, but the rest was background noise. It was something I showed up for, but the real, significant events of my life were all elsewhere. It gave me a little empathy for the Cullens' experience of high school.

After school, Edward drove me back to his house, left his car, and ran me, along with the others, to the meeting place. Because it was a busy time of day, Edward explained, they'd chosen a more remote spot. I found myself standing on a ridge of high ground, surrounded by trees. I could have been anywhere on earth, for all I could tell. They all stood quietly for a minute or so, Alice looking frustrated by her lack of sight; then, evidently, they all heard or smelled something at once, and began to move forward.

"Are they friendly?" Rosalie asked.

"As friendly as they ever get," Jasper answered.

"Their intentions are benign," Edward agreed, "although Leah is still on edge."

They stopped, and the familiar gang of teenaged boys - and one girl - emerged from the woods. Carlisle smiled at them. "Hello again."

"Hi." Sam looked uncomfortable. "Thanks for coming."

"Any time."

"Okay, well, it's about what you asked us last time."

"Yes?"

"We talked it over, and we _all,_" he glanced briefly in Leah's direction, "feel bad about the way it went down. Letting you guys take on this army, or whatever it is, by yourselves isn't the right thing to do." There was a murmur of assent from the pack. "The treaty doesn't call for us to protect you, but Bella was right about loopholes not being the most honest approach. Besides, while we argue, people are getting killed. If you still want help with these…newborns, we're on board."

"That is good of you; and frankly, is very welcome news. It's not absolutely certain we could deal with the newborns on our own."

"Do you know when you're going to Seattle?" Paul asked.

"Not yet. We depend on Alice for guidance in any decision of this kind. The timing may be important. We will let you know as soon as we have a better idea. It should be soon."

Sam nodded. "About Bella and Charlie…"

"We are arranging to have Bella leave the state for a few days," Carlisle explained.

"The thing is, I…we all hate that she can't rely on us, especially since it's supposed to be our job to…" He hesitated.

"To protect humans from our kind?" Carlisle suggested affably.

"Yeah, exactly. We got a little out of line, but it was just words. None of us would really do anything. Bella would be safe. Enough of us will stay back to watch out for her and Charlie."

Carlisle hesitated. "We may need to discuss that before I give you an answer."

"Shouldn't it be Bella's decision?" Jacob asked, a little snappishly.

"That is precisely the point. Bella should have an opportunity to decide whether she will accept your services or not."

"It would be simpler," I said. "You wouldn't have to send me to Alaska and everything."

Carlisle looked over at Jasper, who made a half shrug; then turned back to Sam. "We appreciate your offer. I hope you will not take it amiss if we ask for your formal assurance."

"How do you mean, formal?" Sam asked.

"A treaty. A short term treaty, relating only to the period in which you will be guarding Bella."

A few members of the pack looked suspicious. Sam frowned. "What would we be agreeing to?"

"To act as Bella's protector while we are away."

"We already agreed to that," Paul pointed out.

"In addition, to agree not to harm her in any way, or allow her to come to harm by any means, including deliberate negligence." There was a definite hostile rumbling through the pack. "I mean no offence. I simply want to ensure that Bella, and the rest of us, can be at ease about her situation."

"Anything else?" Sam asked tightly.

"One other thing. That no steps will be taken by any of you, nor permitted if taken by others, to restrain or abduct Bella, or to intimidate or coerce her. If it becomes necessary to physically move her, or take her onto the reserve, for her own protection, she will be returned home as soon as possible."

"And that means," I said, "no interventions or group deprogramming efforts." A couple of the younger boys snickered.

"How can you be sure we'll keep this agreement?" Leah said challengingly.

"If you make the agreement, you will keep it, for the same reason you've kept the treaty made by Ephraim Black," Carlisle said. "Because, as he told me, the Quileute keep their word, even when it is given to an enemy."

His words seemed to have an effect. Sam turned to face his pack. "Can everyone here agree to that? If you have any problem with the terms, now's the time to bring it out. If we make this treaty, we're all required to keep it."

One by one, the boys, and finally Leah, gave some spoken acceptance. Sam turned around to face Carlisle. "Good enough?"

Carlisle looked at me. I realized he was asking whether I accepted the terms, and I nodded. "Good enough," he told Sam. "You've relieved our minds considerably. Thank you."

Sam nodded brusquely. "Keep us informed."

"We will."

The pack left first this time, running effortlessly through the woods together, then Edward pulled me onto his back and we ran to the Cullen house. I tried, on the way, to resign myself to being guarded by werewolves, and found it was easier if I simply thought of them as Sam and Paul, Jacob and Seth. I was glad that at least I wouldn't have to leave Charlie alone while all this was happening. I would've worried.

At the house, monitoring the situation in Seattle was combined with normal afternoon activities. Except for Alice, who withdrew from the family completely, standing in a corner, her eyes taking on a faraway look, then coming back into focus, then staring into the distance again. It would have been creepy if I hadn't understood what was going on: Alice was keeping track.

"She's watching for Victoria," Edward explained to me.

Alice heard him. "Yes, and it's very annoying. Right now I see her staying away from Forks, but there are flashes of something else. She's avoiding making a decision, I think, and it's probably to get around me."

"What about the newborns?" Jasper asked her.

"Their future is undetermined. It goes back and forth. I see them staying in Seattle; I see flashes of them leaving Seattle as a group. I see them separating into camps; and I see them acting as a unit. None of _them_ could be making these decisions. It has to be their creator." She went back to monitoring.

Esme took me into the kitchen and provided me with dinner. It was lobster again, this time linguine with large chunks of lobster meat and vegetables in a fragrant sauce. I took a bite, and sighed. "Esme, this is incredible! This is probably the best thing I've ever eaten in my life."

She dimpled. "I'm glad you like it, dear."

Emmett wandered in and examined the food on my plate critically. "It doesn't smell any better than usual to me." I jokingly offered him a bite, and he snorted. "No, thanks!"

"Why _does_ human food smell so bad to you?" I asked. "I mean, for example, the plants growing outside don't smell bad, right? So why would a bowl of salad?"

He considered. "I guess it's not always the food. Like you said, salad is just a bowl of leaves, and that's what it smells like. It's thinking about putting it in my mouth and swallowing it that's revolting."

"Just as you might not mind the smell of mud or of sawdust," added Edward, as he came in to sit with me, "but would find it unpleasant if it were on your dinner plate."

"I guess that makes sense. What about raw meat, though? I mean, there's, you know, blood." I was still unsure about the protocol of discussing this.

"Yeah," Emmett said thoughtfully, "but unless it was freshly killed at that moment, the blood in it is old. It's not appealing any more. And once it's cooked, it's just nasty. Same with vegetables. Although I guess neither would be so bad if I wasn't thinking of them as food."

"But this must be an unappetizing conversation," Edward said. "Let's change the subject for now."

I gladly returned to my amazing linguine. "To what?"

"Motor vehicles, perhaps?" I groaned, and he laughed. "I started to ask you about other cars you'd driven, or even ridden in. I wondered if there was any car that had ever caught your eye."

I shook my head. "I'm not much of a car person. Although I do admire the elegant lines of the classic 1953 Chevy pickup." He rolled his eyes, and Emmett laughed. Rosalie came into the room to listen, wrinkling her nose at my dinner.

"The truck is on its last legs, Bella. If you'll need to replace it in any case…"

"It's fine!" I insisted. "I'm getting the oil changed tomorrow. It has _years_ ahead of it." I finished my meal, sighed happily, and pushed my plate away.

Emmett laughed again. "Bella, it's only a matter of time before the thing dies on you. Why not take the car now? Whatever Edward gets you, it would have to be better than that truck."

"No, it wouldn't! I _like_ my truck." He and Edward both looked skeptical. "I _do_! I know it's old, but it has…personality."

Edward laughed. "I understand a car having personality; but this one's personality is that of a doddering old man. Why not consider something livelier, more youthful?"

"But the truck fits me! I don't belong in some fancy Italian sports car. My truck is just right for me."

Before Edward could reply, Rosalie asked, "Is there anything actually wrong with it?"

Emmett chuckled. "Yeah, it's ugly."

"I mean, is it running all right?" She looked at me.

"Sure," I said, surprised. "It's running okay, I think. It's started making some noises this week. That's why I was going to bring it in."

"It needs more than an oil change, love," Edward said. "Getting it up to speed would cost a small fortune."

"Bring it to me, then," Rosalie said.

I stared at her. "Er, what?"

"Bring it here. I'll work on it. If it's salvageable at all, I'll get it running properly again."

"Really?" I was taken aback by the offer.

"Thanks _so_ much, Rose," Edward muttered sarcastically.

"Save your thanks," she snapped. "I'm not doing it for _you_." She turned to me. "Bring it by whenever you can spare it for a day or two."

"Thanks, Rosalie! That's fantastic. Thank you."

"It's the least I can do." She flitted back out of the room.


	14. Visitor

Once again, we were in holding pattern. I was told we were waiting for Alice to determine the best day for the Cullens to travel to Seattle. I tried to remain as calm and confident as the rest of them seemed to be, but I was panic stricken at the thought of them - especially Edward - facing an army of unknown size and strength. It was a relief that the werewolves would be joining them. I barely noticed the school year winding to a conclusion.

A few days before graduation, Edward drove me home from school as usual. At the front door, he suddenly froze, his eyes wide. "What's wrong?" I asked.

He stood in silence for a few more seconds, then whispered, "Go inside with me. Act like everything's normal."

"I've been doing that since I met you," I muttered, but did as he asked.

"Hi, Bells, Edward," Charlie called from the living room.

"HI, Dad." I dumped my books on the kitchen table and prepared to study. Edward helped me, outwardly calm but with a tenseness I could almost feel. After a few minutes, he excused himself and went upstairs. He didn't usually pretend to make bathroom trips on his short afternoon visits, and I watched him in surprise as he walked up the steps, his face intent.

He returned shortly, looking even more distracted. "What is it?" I whispered.

"Someone's been in your room."

"How do you know?"

"The scent is all over the house, but strongest in your bedroom."

I was puzzled by his level of worry, until I realized. "You don't mean a _human_ was here."

"No. It's one of us."

"Victoria?"

"No, I'd recognize her scent. It's nobody I know." He thought a moment. "I have to talk to the others."

"Okay." I stood, expecting him to leave.

"No, by phone. I'm not leaving you alone, not until this is resolved. We'll arrange to take turns watching the house." He took out his cell and made a call from the far corner of the kitchen. I wasn't able to understand what he was saying, but the call lasted only a few seconds. He sat down at the table again. "They'll be here shortly. After that, I'll move my car so it seems as if I'm leaving, but either I'll be nearby, or someone else from the family will be, at all times."

I nodded. "Edward, do you have any idea what's going on?"

"Not really. Don't worry, love. We'll figure it out eventually, and until then, you'll always be protected."

We pretended to study, and a few minutes later Edward raised his head. "They're here." He stood, said goodbye to Charlie, kissed me at the front door, and went out to his car. I saw him drive off, but there seemed to be no sign of the others. Assuming they could see me from wherever they were, I gave a wave from the front porch, and went back inside.

Wanting to stay busy, I made dinner early, ate with Charlie, washed the dishes, and did some actual studying for my one remaining exam. Tired of sitting still, I decided to follow through on my weeks-old promise to give my room a good cleaning. I gathered up cleaning supplies and headed upstairs. It was satisfying to do something straightforward and physical, and I enthusiastically swept, mopped, dusted and polished. I washed the windows and wiped finger marks off the light switch. I looked around, pleased with the results, and went to gather dirty clothes to throw into the laundry. It was only then I realized that my used laundry pile had virtually disappeared from the corner of my room, where I often threw clothes after taking them off. I checked the floor of my closet, then looked through the laundry hamper. Nothing. I even checked my closet and dresser drawers, thinking I might have washed the items and put them away already, and forgotten I'd done it.

It seemed unlikely that Edward would have moved my pile of laundry somewhere, and even less likely that Charlie had done it. And if either of them had moved it, wouldn't it be in the laundry hamper? Where else? I went to the basement to make sure there was nothing in the washer or dryer, but both were empty. "Dad? You didn't move a pile of my clothes for some reason, did you?"

He looked away from the television. "Your clothes? No. Why?"

"Just some of my laundry got misplaced. It'll turn up." I sat back down at the kitchen table.

Charlie looked in on me. "Still studying? I thought your teachers'd be gearing down by now."

"They're dragging it out to the bitter end."

"Not much longer."

"Nope."

"When will you be moving out to New Hampshire? Any idea?"

"I'm not sure. I guess it depends on where I'll be living, how much time it'll take to get set up before classes start. I'll have to work that out."

"It'll be strange, not having you around."

"I know, I know. You'll miss my cooking."

"Not just that."

I grinned at him. That was as close as Charlie came to expressing affection. He smiled back and returned to his sports updates.

I jumped nervously when the front doorbell rang. Charlie was there before me, and I groaned inwardly when I heard him let Billy and Jacob in. Having a newly discovered immortal stalker put me out of the mood for company. I got up reluctantly and went to the living room. "Hi, Billy."

"Hey, Bella! How's everything?"

"Pretty good."

I nodded to Jacob, and he jerked his head at me in a more or less civil manner, but he looked angry and accusing. I had no idea why, and wasn't all that interested at the moment. "Popcorn?" I asked Charlie.

"Yeah, thanks, Bells." Charlie took two cans of beer out of the fridge and brought them back to the living room, where a baseball game was apparently getting underway. I made the popcorn, put it in a bowl and brought it out to the two sports fans, then returned to the kitchen table with a book. Jacob followed me, and sat down opposite me.

"You want something to drink?" I asked him, trying to be polite.

"Sure, thanks." He joined me at the refrigerator, made his selection, and accepted my offer of chips with salsa. We ate and drank in silence for a few minutes, until he finally asked, "Why is everybody here?"

"Who's everybody?"

He looked at the ceiling. "You know who. Two of them skulking around outside - your guy and the big one. And another one was here earlier. I don't recognize him."

"You can tell that by smell?" I was impressed. "Even when you're only the mild-mannered alter ego?"

He snorted. "Yeah, we hang on to some of the stuff full time. Including sense of smell. So who's the new one?"

"I don't know. Someone was here, mostly in my room. Edward could tell. He didn't recognize the, er, scent either. That's why he and Emmett are watching the house."

"If it's not the redhead, then who? One of these new bloodsuckers they were talking about? Why is it coming _here_?"

"We don't know yet. We don't know _anything_, really."

He stared at the kitchen wall. "This is nuts."

"No kidding."

He moodily ate chips for a while, then said, "Can we go outside? Maybe take a walk? It's kind of _close _in here."

"I don't think I should leave the house right now, but maybe we could go out front."

He agreed, and we took our drinks and sat on the front steps. "So what _do_ you know?" he asked. I hesitated, and he said, "Hey, we're supposed to be allies now, right? How can we help guard you if we don't know what's going on?"

"But there's nothing else to tell."

"The bloodsucker who…"

"Would you please stop calling them that?" I asked, annoyed.

"Oh, excuse _me._ Mustn't be impolite to the blood-drinking undead. The _vampire_ who was in your house - he didn't bother Charlie, obviously? Did he do any damage?"

"Not that I can tell, no."

"Didn't steal anything? No, why would he?" I made a small, squeaky noise, and he looked at me in surprise. "What? He _did _steal something?"

I tried to answer, but my brain was suddenly processing data at several times its normal speed, moving the pieces of this mystery around until they all suddenly clicked into place, revealing the entire picture. "Oh! Oh my _gosh_!"

"Bella?"

"He took my clothes!"

"Who did? The bl…the intruder?"

"Yes! I had a pile of laundry in the corner of my room. When I went upstairs a while ago, it was missing. I couldn't find it anywhere. I couldn't figure out why."

"I still can't. Why would he take your clothes?"

"Because I wore them already! It's all the same, Jacob!" I laughed with relief at finally figuring it all out.

"You're not making any sense."

"Look. All this crazy stuff was happening at once." I ticked the events off on my fingers, talking rapidly and excitedly. "Victoria coming after the Cullens - maybe after me, specifically; she tried to come here, to the house, at least once. Then this pack of newborns causing havoc in Seattle, something that had only happened in one region of the south. And now, a strange vampire sneaks into my house and steals my used clothing."

"I know. That's what's so crazy. Why all these things at once?"

"Because they're all the same thing! Jacob, look: when Edward was away, he tracked Victoria down south, where the newborn armies are still sometimes used. Victoria comes back up here, and a newborn army begins to appear a few miles away."

Jacob sat up alertly. I could see he got the idea. "Okay, makes sense. But what about stealing your clothes? Who's doing that?"

"One of her newborns, maybe. Or else she's working together with another vampire, one we don't know. Either way, the point is that they took clothes that I'd worn, that had my scent."

He blinked. "And brought them back with him. To lead the others to you?"

"I assume."

"No, that doesn't make any sense. He was already here. Why didn't he just kill you on the spot? What's the point of bringing your scent with him?"

"That's the other part. Victoria knows about Alice, remember? She's found ways to get around Alice's vision. If Victoria comes after me herself, Alice sees it ahead of time, and they're ready for her. She tried it at least once.

"Victoria sends another person to get me, same thing. Alice would see it. Victoria's been trying to avoid making decisions ahead of time, or changing her mind constantly, to throw Alice off. She must have let somebody else work independently, somebody Alice wouldn't be aware of. And it worked," I added. "Alice didn't see anyone planning to sneak into my house. Oh!" I exclaimed as another thought came to me.

"What?"

"That must be why she keeps heading for LaPush."

"Why would she do that?"

"Because Alice can't see _your_ future. She can't see the werewolves at all, and anybody who's with them or who's planning things in partnership with them, Alice can't see their future, either. Going on the reserve is like putting on camouflage."

His face lit up. "The fortune-telling one can't see us? Excellent!"

I stared at him indignantly. "Jacob!"

"What?"

"I thought we were having a discussion, as friends and allies. You're using me to spy on the Cullens for you!"

"No! Well, that wasn't the intention. If I get useful intelligence out of it by accident, good."

"You never stop," I muttered. "It's always plotting and scheming, looking at ways around the treaty, looking for ways to get the Cullens killed. Can't you just be aboveboard for once? This isn't a game. They're trying to save my life!"

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry! It's hard to get used to working with them, you know?" I sat in silence. "So the redhead found out how to keep her plans a secret. Then what?"

I relented. "Maybe she only needs to keep it a secret until she has her army ready. If she doesn't tell the newborns her plans, that's one less source of information for Alice. Then, she figures, it wouldn't matter any more what Alice could see. It would be too big to stop. The Cullens would go to Seattle to intervene, and be killed fighting the newborns. Or she'd find another way to get them there. She'd get her revenge one way or another."

"That makes sense." He looked out into the nearby stand of trees. "They're coming back."

"What? Who?" I said, startled.

"Your vamps." He nodded to the right, and I could see Edward and Emmett standing nearby. Emmett gestured to me to join them.

I went back inside the house and told Charlie I was going for a walk with Jacob. "Okay, Bells," he agreed absently. "Don't be too late." I walked back outside and down the road, Jacob directly behind me. I saw that Emmett was talking into a cell phone. When I reached Edward, he pulled me into his arms.

"She won't get anywhere near you," he said fervently. "None of them will."

"You heard?"

"Everything. Emmett is telling the others." He held me gently. "That was very insightful. I don't know why none of us saw it."

"But does it help?"

"More information is always a good thing. And at least we know it's only one threat, not a series of unrelated ones."

Emmett snapped the phone shut. "Nice work, little sister. Alice is focusing on Victoria, since she seems to be at the heart of it all. The plans to go to Seattle are still in place." He looked over at Jacob, who was keeping his distance. "You still with us?"

"Are you kidding?" Jacob said. "Hunting vampires is what we live for."

"Well, we may be a step ahead of Victoria after all," Edward said. "She probably didn't expect us to figure out her plan. And we have a couple of advantages she wouldn't be aware of."

"I assume an alliance with the wolf pack is one of those advantages," Jacob said.

"It is. Victoria would never expect to find us working together."

"What's the other advantage?"

Edward smiled. "We have Jasper. Victoria obviously didn't realize that our family contains one of the leading experts on defending oneself against newborns."

Jacob looked skeptical. "He's done this before?"

"Many times, when he lived in the south. He's never lost a fight."

"Maybe," Jacob said slowly, "we should have a word with this Jasper."

Edward and Emmett looked at each other. "I'll see what I can do," Edward said. "Bella, can you stay in the house tonight? We'll be nearby."

"Sure. Will you…?"

"Yes, I'll see you later." He kissed my forehead, and I walked back to the house with Jacob.

"This is still nuts," he said, "even after you figured it out."

"Yeah, it is. It's the waiting that really gets me, though."

"I know what you mean." We walked past my truck, parked near the house, and he kicked at a tire. "I can't believe it's still running," he said.

"Better than ever," I said smugly. "It's had a little bit of an overhaul." Rosalie had kept her word, and returned the truck to me running smoothly and more quietly than I would have thought possible. She'd flatly refused to accept any payment for the repairs, and told me not to be an idiot when I tried to insist.

Edward came to my room later than usual; I had already fallen asleep, but woke up again when he came in. "Everything okay?" I asked groggily.

"Fine, love. Go back to sleep."

"What time is it?"

"About four."

"Four o'clock?" I sat up. He was never this late. "Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all. I was just with the family." I looked at him, waiting. "We arranged for Jasper to speak with the werewolves."

"You did?"

"We met briefly, Jasper described the newborns and their strengths and weaknesses in battle. We did a little demonstration of the best ways to attack a newborn."

My eyes popped open in alarm. "On the _werewolves_?"

"No, on each other."

"I can't believe I missed this!"

"You didn't miss very much. Besides, it happened during the night."

"So?"

"I didn't want to disturb your sleep."

I sulked briefly. I was feeling excluded.

"Sweetheart, it was no great loss for you. You don't enjoy battle scenes."

"In the _movies_! This is real, and involves my family." I crossed my arms. "You shouldn't have left me out of it. You didn't even tell me."

"I'm sorry. I had no idea you'd feel this way. I thought you would hate the idea of watching us fight." He sighed. "We're supposed to meet with them again, for more practice. I'll bring you then, if that's what you want."

"Thank you," I said briskly. I lay back down and turned my back on him.

"It could be to our advantage to have you there. You seem to have a calming effect on the werewolves." He lay behind me, lightly embracing me. "Like lovely Diana among the wild beasts." He kissed the back of my neck.

I rolled over to face him, moving into his arms. It was no use trying to hold a grudge against Edward.


	15. Moving Forward

I was guarded nonstop in the days that followed, everything revolving around keeping me secure, including when the Cullens left to hunt. They let a sunny Thursday pass by and postponed their family 'camping trip' until the next day, to coincide with my schedule. Edward didn't feel safe having me stay at home when his family was not present, so he had Alice arrange for a weekend sleepover. The official story was that it would be just me, Alice and Esme in the house while the other Cullens went on a weekend camping trip. Charlie, lulled into a false sense of security by my consistently high grades and exemplary behaviour, rarely objected any more to my going out. I left Charlie a couple of pre-made meals and carefully detailed reheating instructions before heading out on Friday evening.

In reality, Edward had hunted alone on Thursday, so he could stay with me on the weekend, when the rest of the family planned a two day hunt in preparation for the Seattle trip. The wolves had been notified, and would be patrolling the area in shifts from Friday afternoon through Sunday, making sure to keep an eye on Charlie's house. I was assured that all this was just a precaution, that Victoria had made no decision to return to Forks, and I could stop worrying. I found it easier than I would have expected. The prospect of two nights completely alone with Edward had given me a few ideas. I felt a little frivolous, thinking about private time with my boyfriend when we were getting ready to battle a superhuman death squad, but I comforted myself by noting that Alice hadn't even suggested cancelling her party. I was determined to take advantage of this rare opportunity. There was at least one human experience I wasn't willing to forego.

Edward met me outside the front door, kissed me sweetly, then swept me up in his arms and carried me into the house. "This weekend, can we forget about everything except each other? It seems as if we never have enough time for that." I nodded, and he kissed me again. It was a promising start.

We spent some time just talking. I asked Edward about times in his past that were still a blank to me; and he asked me still more questions about my childhood and my life back in Phoenix. He played the piano as I sat on the bench beside him, and he tried, unsuccessfully, to teach me to play a little.

"I've never been any good at a musical instrument," I told him. "It takes too much manual dexterity."

This led to a discussion of which instruments didn't require coordination. "Autoharp," he suggested.

"Is it anything like a plain harp? Because I don't think I could manage that."

"No, it's a simplified version of a zither." I hadn't heard of that either, so he took me upstairs to play a recording he happened to own, which contained zither music. "It made a modest comeback in the 1960's," he explained, "when folk music was very popular."

I stopped short in the doorway to his room. "What is _that_?" The room had been rearranged to accommodate a gigantic, ornate bed covered with a dull gold bedspread. It was like a floral bower made of wrought metal, flowers and vines forming a headboard and arching into a kind of canopy over the top. It was the kind of thing I'd have imagined Marie Antoinette slept in, before she was beheaded for her excesses.

"You're going to sleep here for the weekend. You'll need a bed," he explained, a little too casually. "Don't you like it?"

It wasn't exactly a tribute to decorating minimalism, but I realized that a bed suited my intentions very well. "It's very nice. I was just surprised." I kicked my shoes off and sat down cross-legged on the bedspread while Edward started the music.

I listened a while. "I don't think I'm ever going to become a raving zither fanatic."

He laughed and put on a different selection, and classical guitar music filled the room. "Better?"

"Much."

He joined me on the bed. "Are you worried about Victoria?"

"No, why?"

"Your pulse is faster than usual."

Hard to act nonchalant around Edward. I took a deep breath. "I wanted to ask you something. I'm a little nervous about it." Even as I spoke, I realized that I was more than nervous. I had no idea how to even begin. It seemed so awkward. How did people manage to do this?

"Bella, love, there's no need to be nervous. Ask me anything." He put an arm around my shoulders, and I leaned my head against him.

"Okay, well, our agreement will be, er, implemented before too long." He nodded soberly. "You've always thought it was important that I didn't miss out on any significant human experiences."

His expression became serious. "Yes."

"Well, there's one experience I don't want to skip. If you would agree…"

"Of course, love. What is it?"

I lost my nerve. What did I say at this point? Deciding to try non-verbal communication, I hesitantly raised my face to his and kissed him. He kissed me back willingly enough, but didn't seem to get the point. I fumbled with his shirt, and began undoing the buttons.

I could see the realization hit him, and he drew back. I looked back at him determinedly and started on the buttons of my own blouse. He pulled my hands away. "Bella, stop it!" he said sharply.

My face grew hot, and I looked away, feeling inept and humiliated. I wavered, considering dropping the whole thing, maybe hiding somewhere for the rest of the weekend.

He saw my expression, and pulled me onto his lap, soothing me. "Bella - please, you understand, don't you, why I have to say no? It's too dangerous. You've no idea how easy it would be to injure you."

"No, I _don't _have any idea. Why would you hurt me? You don't hurt me accidentally when I'm sleeping next to you, or when we…" I placed a brief kiss on the corner of his mouth, giving him the general idea.

"No, but it would be completely different…" Now he was the one who couldn't find the words. "I couldn't be so…out of control, not when I was in such, er, close proximity to you. I could easily hold you too tightly, or…or move too forcefully." He was avoiding my eyes, and I was blushing. It wasn't exactly graphic sex talk, but I was clear about what he was describing. "I _can't _take that kind of risk."

I braced myself again. I'd come this far; and I was encouraged by the memories of our being together, of Edward ending our nightly embrace with a sigh. He was as reluctant to stop as I was, I felt sure of it. I recalled that he'd come back to me, determined to leave me behind but unable to stay away, and somehow that gave me courage, too.

"I understand, I mean, I see how that could be dangerous. But," I gulped, remembering Angela and Ben and their halfway measures, "there must be some things we could, uh, do, that would be safe, right? I mean, as things are now, I touch you, and you touch me, and it's safe. Wouldn't it be okay if we just…touch each other, you know, a little _more_?" I thought I sounded barely coherent, and wondered if he'd have any idea what I was talking about.

He didn't answer, and stayed silent and motionless for so long, I burst out, "Edward, please say something!" and hid my face against his shoulder, hideously embarrassed.

He embraced me gently. "I'm sorry, love. I…_do _understand what you're saying, and yes, that would be safe enough if we use, er, appropriate precautions." I didn't ask what those might be. I was full of a sense of impending triumph. "But I think…that is, I always assumed…"

"Assumed what?"

"That all this would take place _after_ we were married.."

"Oh!" I felt nonplussed. I knew Edward was born in 1901, and shouldn't have been surprised; but somehow I hadn't expected a plea for premarital chastity.

"I recognize that it's out of step with contemporary mores," he said a little drily, "but I don't want to be the cause of your…"

"Downfall?" I asked sardonically.

He smiled sheepishly. "Not quite that. But I see a value on keeping some things within marriage. I don't expect you to necessarily share my view, but it's important to me."

I thought fast. "Okay, I understand. But could you at least consider a compromise?"

"What kind of compromise?"

"We're saving _most_ things until we're married. You say they're too dangerous for now anyway. But what about…you know, what I was talking about? Doesn't being engaged rate a few perks, at least?" I looked at Edward. He seemed uncertain. "Even in the old days, I think they relaxed the rules a little bit for people who were engaged."

He was quiet a long moment. "You may be right," he said at last, "but in such a case, the engagement would have to be official, not merely hypothetical. Being betrothed excused certain…liberties, because it was a genuine and binding agreement, expected to lead shortly to marriage. Ours has not quite achieved that status."

This had the feeling of a negotiation. "What would make an engagement qualify as official, in your mind?"

"The traditional trappings," he said, watching my reaction. "Such as an engagement ring."

I swallowed. "I see."

"And, of course, if we were truly engaged, I would be free to reveal that fact to my family, and to set a date and begin planning the wedding."

I took a deep breath. "I could handle that."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. To be honest, I've actually started thinking about how our wedding would be." I was struck by the look of joy on his face. "I'm ready to make it official."

He stared at me a few seconds, then rose from the bed and opened a small drawer. He came back to sit beside me, and showed me a small satin box. "You already have it?" I squeaked.

He grinned crookedly. "I've had it a long time. May I?"

I nodded, and prepared myself for the jewelry version of a new Maserati. I would try to accept it graciously, no matter how huge and gaudy it might be. Would he expect me to wear it all the time?

Edward opened the box, took out a ring, and slipped it onto the third finger of my left hand. I stared at it. "It's so pretty!"

"You really like it?"

"Of course. It's…" It wasn't a rock, a showy sports car of a ring. It was a delicate design made of dozens of tiny diamonds, arranged inside an oval filigree setting, lovely but subtle. "It's _beautiful._ It looks antique."

"It is. I told you I've had it a long time." I looked up at him. "It was the ring my father gave to my mother."

"Oh!" I stared at him, then back down at the ring. I wasn't sure if I was over my dislike of engagement rings in general, but this one was definitely an exception. It wasn't just a piece of jewelry; it was a link to Edward's human life, a symbol of love from his own childhood.

"I've kept it all these years, along with some other things of my parents' that Carlisle saved for me," he explained. "I thought it was merely a keepsake. Now I know otherwise: I was saving it for you, the love of my life."

I'm _not _a sentimental crier, but I couldn't stop the tears this time. I hid my face against Edward's shoulder, and he held me until I could stop weeping. "You are happy about this, I hope?" he asked me after a few minutes. "At least a little?"

"Yes, very happy."

He lay across the bed, and I curled up against him and rested my head on his shoulder. "Tell me about this wedding you've planned," he said.

Blushing frequently, and with a great deal of teasing and joking from Edward, I described my use of 'the technique' to get past my wedding phobia and find an approach I could take some pleasure in. "You don't mind if I'm not in a big white dress?" I asked. "If we don't do all the traditional stuff?"

"As long as we are married at the end of it, nothing else matters to me." He kissed me. I'd never seen him so happy, and I felt a little selfish for putting off the engagement for so long. Was it asking so much, after all? "Thank you for making the effort to meet me halfway on this." He kissed me again, at greater length.

"You're welcome," I said, a little breathlessly. Strangely enough, I'd actually forgotten my original purpose here, but now it was coming back to me. I was acutely aware of being completely alone with Edward. Was he going to find another way out of this agreement?

My fears were laid to rest when he pulled me closer, rolling onto his back so I was on top of him, kissing his way along my throat and ear. His hands were no longer resting briefly and then fleeing; they were caressing me freely. I was breathing so fast I thought I might pass out, and took a deep breath.

He rolled me over onto my back, hovering over me and kissing me so deliciously I could hardly think. I reached for the buttons of my blouse, trying to unfasten them but lacking the facility at the moment.

"Bella," he said, raising his head, "will you _please_ stop trying to take your clothes off?" He looked down at me with an expression that made me feel as if I were melting. "_I _want to do that part."


	16. Commencement Exercises

"Mollusks," Edward whispered to me.

I looked at him, startled out of my reverie, and he looked pointedly down at his right hand. He was unobtrusively pointing to a line in his notebook, on which he'd written 'mollusks.'

"And," the biology teacher was asking, "what phylum of organism would that be? Bella Swan?" He looked at me sternly.

"Um, mollusks?"

Mr. Brinks grimaced, I assumed with disappointment. He loved nothing better than to catch students who were not paying attention. He wasn't a popular teacher. It didn't help that he was still holding serious classes when most of the other teachers had conceded to the final week of school by doing simple reviews and easy classroom discussions.

"Correct," he said, and went on with the lecture.

I didn't dare look over at Edward. He knew I'd been daydreaming, and more than likely knew what I'd been daydreaming about. I tried to keep my mind on the biology lesson, but it wasn't easy. My thoughts kept wandering back to Edward, and our weekend together.

Edward had not, as I'd half expected, tried to weasel out of our compromise. In fact, once he'd agreed to certain concessions in exchange for a more official engagement, he'd thrown himself into the 'liberties' with an enthusiasm that astonished me. He'd been incredibly loving and tender, patiently talking me past my initial nervousness, making me feel as much at ease as he seemed to be. He was also just plain good at it all - probably from seeing the acts in thousands of other minds over the years. I hadn't got much sleep Friday night.

"Invertebrates," Edward whispered.

"Miss Swan." Mr. Brinks glared at me.

"Invertebrates?" I said. Apparently, that was right. Mr. Brinks turned away in annoyance, and continued his lecture. I could feel myself blushing, and knew that Edward was watching me. I avoided looking his way, and did my best to focus on the slides of cuttlefish being projected on the front wall of the classroom.

Edward had been cautious about letting me return the favour. He'd given me a series of explicit instructions: don't do anything that might surprise him unduly; stop _immediately_ if he tells me to stop; speak up right away if he does anything painful or even uncomfortable. Above all, don't get close to his teeth; he might have a spontaneous impulse to bite. He'd explained that he was going to maintain a grip on the metal headboard. "I'd love to hold you, have my hands on you while you touch me," he'd said apologetically, "but it's simply not safe. One day, we won't have these limitations." He'd been guarded at first, wary of any loss of control; but after my first attempt resulted in nothing worse than some slightly bent wrought iron, he'd become more confident. I smiled at the notion that Edward had been 'unmotivated.' In spite of my lack of experience, his ardent reaction to everything I attempted was extremely gratifying.

We_ had _gotten out of bed in the course of the weekend. Edward had cooked my meals with me, played the piano for me, tried to teach me how to dance. We'd talked for hours, and gone for walks on the Cullen property. But we kept being drawn back to the big gold bed by the electricity between us, strong before, but now overwhelming. I felt as if I'd let a genie out of the bottle.

Even though I'd been the one to make the advances, once the barriers were down I found myself becoming ridiculously bashful. Edward gradually coaxed me out of my insecurity, playfully distracting me when I became self-conscious, showering me with words of passion and devotion I found compelling but oddly old-fashioned. I eventually concluded he was playing Edwardian husband to the willing but timid new bride, the role that made sense to him in the circumstances. Somehow it was perfect for me, too; it made me feel cherished and beautiful, and able to open up to him completely.

It also inspired an idea for a graduation present I wanted to give Edward. I realized how reserved I'd been with him in some ways. I didn't want that any more. I wanted to show him I was ready to be completely frank and unguarded with him, to trust him completely.

Walking back to Edward's car at the end of the school day, I said, "Thanks for the help in Biology class. I wasn't really paying attention."

I thought he'd tease me, but he just said gently, "I know. It's hard to think about anything else, isn't it?"

"It's not hard for _you,_" I pointed out.

"It's a little different for me. I can think of many things at the same time. That means I can keep track of a classroom lecture, without ever ceasing to think about you. Not even for a second."

He pulled out of the parking lot while I unfastened the chain around my neck that held my engagement ring, removed the ring and put it back on my finger. Edward had agreed that there was no advantage to letting my high school friends know we were getting married, so I wore the ring on my hand only when I was with him or his family. At other times, I wore it on a chain Edward had provided for me, tucked inside my shirt.

"Last day of school tomorrow," I pointed out. "I wonder if Mr. Brinks will give us a break for just one day."

"He's not planning to," Edward said. He smiled at the sight of me replacing my engagement ring on my finger.

Our weekend had changed things between us in one way. In the days that followed, most of our time together was driven by the unspoken search for opportunities to be alone. They weren't that plentiful. Once the group hunting trip was over, at least two or three Cullens were always at home at any given time; my father was usually down the hall from my bedroom when Edward came to stay with me; and Edward refused to take me to our meadow, considering it too dangerous to be separated from the others at this point. I couldn't get up the nerve to ask him how he felt about parked cars.

Once school ended for the year, we at least had access to my house when Charlie was at work. I felt like I couldn't get enough of Edward; and Edward, although he avoided being overtly demanding, was clearly as obsessed as I was.

Our brief idyll was interrupted the following weekend. We would be busy all day Saturday with the graduation ceremony, followed by going out to celebrate with Charlie. I knew I couldn't skip that. Charlie had announced he planned to take me out for dinner at the Lodge, and he obviously considered this a grand gesture of fatherly indulgence. Besides, I was aware that my time with Charlie was quickly running out.

After graduation, Alice would go ahead with her party; Saturday night and Sunday morning, they would hunt once more in two shifts to allow for maximum strength; and Sunday afternoon they would all leave for Seattle, along with most of the wolf pack. A few of the wolves would remain behind to guard me. I was uneasy with Edward going away, and he was uncomfortable with leaving me behind; but we both realized it was necessary.

If the trip to Seattle went well - and I couldn't even entertain the possibility that it wouldn't - my life would change quickly. I would leave for New Hampshire with the Cullens, marry Edward, and soon thereafter, be changed into something completely unknown. Charlie and my mother would be notified of my sudden death, by car crash, perhaps, or accidental fall or drowning, and I would be cut off from my old life forever. It was all coming at me very quickly, and I was learning that you can want something desperately and fear receiving it at the same time.

Edward kissed me goodbye on Saturday morning and I watched him spring out my bedroom window and disappear. I wouldn't see him again until we were both at the graduation ceremony. I'd already explained that I wanted to give Charlie his due, rather than make him share the occasion, and Edward had agreed that it was appropriate.

"We'll be nearby, in any case," he told me, "whether you see us or not. You won't be left unprotected for a second."

I emailed Mom before I went downstairs for breakfast, making jokes about the ugly yellow caps and gowns and the likelihood that the valedictorian's speech would mention lumber or sports fishing. My heart wasn't in it; I missed her already. I tried not to think about her and Phil receiving the news of my untimely death, and of course I succeeded. I've always been good at repressing unpleasant things.

I made pancakes for breakfast, Charlie's favourite, and he tried to make conversation as we ate. "So. This is the big day."

"Yep."

"You nervous?"

"No, not really. They have it all organized. I'll have plenty of notice before I have to get up and take my diploma."

"Right. Sure, nothing to be nervous about."

"At least I don't have to make a speech."

He looked indignant. "Yeah, why weren't you picked to make the graduation speech? I bet you have the highest grades in your class."

I didn't bother to correct him. "Students have to apply to be valedictorian. They submit their speech in writing, and the staff pick the best one."

"Oh. You didn't try out?"

"No. To tell the truth, it never occurred to me. I'm not good at public speaking."

"Yeah. Me neither." We grinned at each other.

I occupied myself until it was time to leave for the ceremony by catching up on any household chores that had been neglected. I organized the flatware, Charlie's minuscule DVD collection, and all the kitchen cupboards, then cleaned out the refrigerator and freezer. Charlie joined in rather than sitting in the living room while I worked, and vacuumed the rugs and haphazardly cleaned the bathroom. As the time approached, I went upstairs and put on the new outfit Alice had given me for the occasion. Just as well, too, since a lot of my clothes had been stolen by persons unknown.

Charlie and I drove to the school together in the police cruiser, which didn't make me nearly as uncomfortable as it would have when I first arrived in Forks. I watched out the passenger window, half expecting to catch a glimpse of one Cullen or another, lurking at the roadside, keeping watch over me. Temporary extra parking had been set up near the school, and Charlie cautiously pulled in. Once inside the auditorium, we simply let ourselves be swept along by the routine. Charlie was pointed to a seat in the auditorium, while I was directed to go down the hall, collect my cap and gown, and proceed to my assigned place.

We were arranged alphabetically, and I finally saw Edward and Alice close to the front of the crowd. I caught Edward's eye and we smiled at each other, but Alice left her place to run back and hug me. "Congratulations, Bella!"

"You too," I said, hugging her back. "Thanks for the dress; it's really nice."

"It looks fantastic on you! And don't congratulate _me._" She lowered her voice. "This is _your_ first, and only real, graduation. That's why we're having a party, you know."

"No, I didn't know. You shouldn't have done that, Alice."

"Yes, I should. You're my best friend, and soon to be my sister, and it's a special event in your life."

Alice had, of course, seen our engagement become official while she was still away. I could only hope she didn't see anything else about that weekend. Edward and I had released her from her vow of secrecy, and she had finally been able to tell the family that we would be getting married after we all moved to New Hampshire. Their happiness at the news made me a little sorry I'd kept it from them for so long. That left me with the challenge of convincing Alice to allow my simple, low-key little wedding to replace her personal vision, which involved, among other things, several hundred white roses and an antique lace gown with a cathedral veil.

"Alice Cullen! Back in line!" one of the teachers called to her, and she smiled at me and danced back to the 'C' section. I pulled the yellow gown on over my dress, set my mortarboard on my head, and waited.

Forks High School didn't have a school band, so recorded music played as we trooped up the central aisle of the auditorium to the front, near the stage, where seating was arranged for us. We sat through the valedictorian's speech and the presenting of certain academic awards, then stood and waited as our names were called one by one to come and receive our diploma. I watched as Alice, then Edward walked up the three steps and crossed the stage, Alice mugging at Carlisle and Esme in the audience, Edward smiling and waving to them as he moved the tassel on his cap from right to left. Obligatory camera flashes came from Esme's place in the audience, although, as I knew, they never kept photographs of themselves.. They really did play their parts very convincingly.

I scanned the audience for Charlie, and was surprised to see him sitting with friends: Billy and Jacob Black, and Sue and Seth Clearwater. Charlie hadn't mentioned they would be coming; I wondered if it had been a surprise to him. It occurred to me that they may not have come only as friends, but in the role of bodyguards.

Jessica Stanley, directly in front of me, had started nervously smoothing her hair and moistening her lips, and a moment later she was called to the stage. My name was next. I concentrated on not tripping as I walked up the steps, crossed the stage, took my diploma and shook the principal's hand. Immoderate applause could be heard from the section where Charlie and the others were sitting, and I grinned and waved my diploma at them as I walked off the stage.

We stood in a cluster, waiting for the T's through Z's to cross the stage, then the principal formally congratulated the graduating class, and we received a round of applause. That was it: my first, and only real, graduation.

We were marched back down the aisle and into the room we'd started from, where we were directed to return our caps and gowns. Everyone started shuffling through the crowd to rejoin their own family members. I began trying to reach Charlie, and in the process passed Carlisle and Esme, who congratulated me warmly and insisted on taking pictures of me with Edward and Alice before I continued my search. "Are Jacob and Seth here for security?" I asked them in a whisper.

"Not at our request," Carlisle said.

"The older people came as friends of Charlie's and yours," Edward told me, "and the…others joined in mainly because they were asked to by their respective parents."

"Well, it was nice of them." I looked around the room. "I'd better go find Charlie."

"Have a good time," Edward said, kissing me on the cheek. "And congratulations. I'll talk to you at the party."

"Don't be late!" Alice warned. "You're the guest of honour."

"Ugh!" She giggled, and I fled.

I found Charlie close to one of the exit doors. "Congratulations, Bells!" He was beaming, happier than I'd seen him in a long time.

"Good work, Bella," Billy said, shaking my hand solemnly. Sue smiled and offered me a tentative kiss on the cheek.

Charlie was waving his camera. "Here, let me get another picture." I reluctantly posed, then asked Jacob to take a couple of snapshots of me with Charlie.

Charlie pulled me aside. "Listen, Bells, I didn't know Billy and Sue and the kids would be coming out. I was thinking it would be only polite to ask them to come with us for dinner."

"Oh."

He looked uncomfortable. "It's your graduation. Maybe you don't want extra people..."

"No, Dad, it's okay. It was really nice of them to come."

He nodded, looking relieved. "You'll have Seth and Jacob to talk to, anyway." He ran after the others, and I heard him giving them directions to the Lodge. He came back to where I was standing. "They'll meet us there," he explained. "Uh, listen, if Edward wants to come along…"

"No, it's okay. I think he's got stuff to do with his parents. I'll see him later, at the graduation party."

"Oh yeah, the party. It's going to be supervised, right?"

"Carlisle and Esme will both be there. You could come, too, I'm sure."

"No," he said hastily, "that's okay." He led the way back to the parking lot. I followed more slowly, stopped by friends who wanted to congratulate me or get my signature in their yearbook.

Angela stopped to hug me. "Congratulations, Bella! I heard you got into Dartmouth."

"Yeah."

"I can't believe you never mentioned it. I'm going to Washington State. Try to keep in touch, all right? You have my email address, don't you?"

"Sure, I've got it." I knew she wouldn't be hearing from me again, and carefully suppressed the thought. "Congratulations to you, too, Angela. I know you'll do really well at State."

She smiled at me. "See you later, at the party."

"Sorry about all that," I told Charlie when I finally reached the car.

"It's okay," he said, pulling out of the parking lot. "You've made a lot of friends here."

"Sure."

"I know Forks was never your favourite place."

"It's grown on me." He snorted. "No, really, Dad. I'm glad I decided to come stay with you my last year. It was good."

The Lodge was a restaurant that tried to combine a rustic, hunting-lodge decor with overdone, quasi-European elegance. Its culinary theme was large portions of red meat. It was, however, considered the fanciest restaurant in Forks, and I accepted Charlie's choice for the thoughtful gesture it was intended to be. We were shown to a table for six, and I noticed that a lot of the graduating students and their families had found their way here. Charlie got up to speak with a couple of people he knew, and I saw him gesturing toward me. He was probably telling more people I'd got into Dartmouth, showing me off. It was a little embarrassing, but I couldn't bring myself to resent it.

I ordered the Lodgeburger, and everyone else went for steak or prime rib - except Seth, who ordered lamb chops, and for some reason was teased about it by Jacob.

"When's your graduation, Jake?" Charlie asked.

"Not 'til next year. I'm still a junior."

"Oh, right. I forgot."

"Leah's is next weekend, though."

"Oh! Congratulations," Charlie told Sue. She smiled at him, and they maintained eye contact a little longer than was usual. I was pretty sure by now that my theory about the two of them was correct. Not that Charlie had said anything to me. "How is Leah doing?"

"Pretty well." Sue glanced at me as she spoke, her expression guarded.

"Where's your boyfriend today, Bella?" Billy asked. "Didn't want to be here?"

I frowned at him. "He's with his family."

"Probably helping to set up for the party," Charlie suggested. "I imagine it'll take some work. Most of the senior class is supposed to be there."

"Party?" Billy looked at me.

"A graduation party. It was mostly Alice's idea."

"You're going?" he asked me.

"Of course."

"I don't envy Carlisle and Esme," Charlie remarked. "Thirty or forty teenagers partying in their house. I'm sure they'll keep a lid on it, but it's still going to be a hell of a job to clean up the next day."

"It won't be so bad, with the seven of them," I suggested, knowing very well the mess would be cleared away minutes after the last guest left.

"I guess not." Charlie got up again to greet the Stanleys, who had just come in and were waiting for a table. I waved at Jessica.

"Is that a good idea?" Billy said in an undertone. "All those kids in the same house with them?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked coldly.

"What if they get, y'know, thirsty?" Jacob asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Jacob, they've been attending school every day with hundreds of people around them, all the time. Why would it be a problem to have a few dozen with them in the house?"

"Maybe they'd be less…inhibited in their own house than they would in a public place," Billy suggested. I gave him a look. "Bella, I know these people have you charmed, but they are what they are."

"The Cullens are different, though," Seth said. "Why else would we have this treaty with them?"

"Which they've kept since the 1930's," I pointed out. "How much convincing to you need?"

Billy looked dissatisfied, but stopped arguing.

Charlie came back to the table. "The Stanleys' girl is going to community college," he reported. "Looks like Bella's the only one accepted by an ivy league place." I smiled at him, but couldn't miss the meaningful glance between Billy and Sue. They were as suspicious of my acceptance into Dartmouth as I was.

Charlie was in a more talkative mood than usual, and the conversation became lively as he shared stories about my childhood, and threw in a few memories of Jacob's and Seth's earlier days. I relaxed and joked along with the others, and for a while they were just old friends of my dad's, and kids I'd grown up with.

When Charlie left to find the men's room, Billy asked casually, "Where are you going to be living when you're at Dartmouth? In the dormitory?"

"No, I'm getting a place of my own." To be more specific, Edward and I were getting a place of our own.

"Your scholarship cover all that? That's kind of unusual."

I met his eyes. "The Cullens are helping me find a place."

"Uh huh. So you'll be more or less living with them?"

"No, not with them. In the same town." Both he and Jacob were watching me a little too intently.

"You know," Billy said, "by the time you graduate from Dartmouth, you'll be what? Twenty-two?"

"Unless I flunk out my first year." I ate the last bite of my burger and focused on folding my napkin carefully.

"Or unless _they_ don't want you to get any older."

"Billy, they wouldn't do anything to hurt me." That was evading the issue a little, but I didn't think total honesty was a good idea at this point. What if I said it was my own choice to be changed, and soon? I had no idea how they would take that, and it was a bad time to rock the boat.

"Bella, we know them better than you do. They may be less dangerous than most of their kind, but that doesn't mean they're safe. Bad things can happen if you trust them too far."

I was very glad my engagement ring was on its chain under my dress, hidden away. Charlie returned to the table, and I was spared the trouble of finding an answer. Billy and Charlie fought over the bill briefly, and Charlie insisted on paying for the meal. I gave everyone as friendly a goodbye as I could manage.

Charlie drove me back to the house, and I went inside, brushed my hair, and collected a wrapped parcel I'd left there the day before - in a plastic bag inside an old tote bag hidden under a pile of sweaters in the back of my closet. "What's that?" Charlie asked.

"Graduation present for Edward."

"Oh. What'd you get him?"

"Just some books." I hugged him briefly. "Thanks for the dinner out, Dad. It was great."

"Glad to do it. Have a good time at the party."

I saw him watching me from the front window as I started my truck, and waved to him as I pulled away from the curb.

Edward appeared out of nowhere as I parked in front of the Cullen house. He kissed me and we stood a moment, just holding each other, recovering from the day's separation. "Is it ridiculous that I feel this way after only a few hours?" I murmured. "Like we've been apart for weeks and I can hardly stand to let go of you?"

"It's exactly the way I feel," he answered, "and I don't care if it's ridiculous or not."

We finally managed to separate and move toward the front door. I blinked as I walked into the house, which was no longer recognizable. Alice had transformed it into what I assumed a very exclusive and edgy after hours club would look like on the inside, minus the drugs and security guards. "Alice, this is incredible!" I told her.

"Happy graduation party!" she sang.

"Welcome, Bella," Esme said, hugging me carefully.

"Hey, little sister," Emmett said, grinning, "congratulations on not flunking out."

"And congratulations," Rosalie added, "on not tripping when you crossed the stage." I looked at her in surprise. "It's all over town," she said, glancing at Esme.

"That is _not _what I said!" Esme protested.

I laughed. "It's okay. I surprised myself."

I greeted the others, then Edward took my hand and led me to the stairs. "I have something for you." He carried me up the steps and into his room, where he set me gently down on the big, immoderate bed. "Could you put on your ring, just until the guests get here?"

I smiled and removed the ring from the chain around my neck, placing it on my hand. Edward went to the same dresser drawer from which he'd taken the ring, and removed another item. "What's that?" I asked warily.

"A graduation present." Edward sat down on the bed next to me. "I'm counting on you to be tolerant about this. Graduation is a special occasion. I should be able to indulge in the pleasure of giving you a gift."

"Edward, I hope I'm not that irrational. You can give me a present if you want to." I still wasn't completely at ease accepting gifts from him, but I realized that was silly and unfair, and I did my best to suppress the urge to refuse.

He opened a small box made of some kind of shiny wood, and took out a pendant on a chain. It was a crystal heart. "Another keepsake from my mother," he explained. "I thought you'd prefer it to something new."

"I do." I took the little heart in my hand, watching the light reflect off its facets. "I love it. Thank you."

He shrugged. "Just a reminder that you own the prototype. It's a good likeness, too, don't you think? Hard and cold."

"And beautiful."

He fastened the chain around my neck. "Thank you for accepting it with so little trouble," he teased.

"It seems only reasonable. If I was willing to take possession of the priceless original, why should I object to owning a mere copy?"

He touched my face gently. "I don't know where you got the idea you're inept at expressing affection. That was both sweet and skillful." He kissed my temple. "And because you're unable to tell a convincing lie, I can believe it was also sincere."

I blushed and reached for the package I'd brought from home. "I have a graduation present for you, too. It's also a hand-me-down." I handed it over, feeling very insecure about my choice. "It's a little dumb, maybe. Not exactly a real gift, even, but I thought…I thought you might like to have it," I wound down uncomfortably.

He smiled reassuringly and tore open the paper wrapping, revealing a stack of notebooks. He looked at me questioningly.

"My diaries," I explained. "I've been keeping them since I was twelve. Nobody else has ever read them, or even seen them; not even Mom. They're not exactly great literature, but…well, I thought it would be kind of like being able to read my mind, my _past_ mind, if you see what I…"

"I understand perfectly, Bella. It's…" He was leafing carefully through the pages, looking at the little drawings I'd added, the occasional photo or printed souvenir of some event in my life. "It's the most perfect gift you could have given me. Thank you for this. I promise no one else will ever read them."

I smiled, relieved that he'd understood. "You_ are_ mentioned in the last volume, but only a little. I stopped writing in the diary once I found out about you and your family. I thought it would be too risky to write any of it down."

He looked at the last few pages of the final notebook. "The day you agreed to go with me to Seattle," he said. "You know, I have a memento of that day as well. I'll show it to you some time."

"Bella! Will you get down here!" I heard Alice call. "The guests are starting to arrive."

Edward took the notebooks and carefully locked them away, I put my engagement ring back on its chain, and we went downstairs.

Unfamiliar but interesting music was playing, strobe lights flashing in the vicinity of Alice's temporary deejay booth. People I recognized from my classes at school were milling around the transformed living room, either gawking openly or trying to look nonchalant. The Cullens - at least, some of them - were talking to the guests and trying to put them at ease. Edward left me to discuss music with Alice, and I moved slowly through the room, returning greetings and talking to people I knew. Fortunately, conversation was easy: everyone exchanged observations about graduation day, indicated what they would be doing next year, and commented on the party setting. The living room was a little noisy to talk in any great depth.

I spoke to everyone I knew, let Jessica chatter to me at length, and smiled complacently at the sight of Lauren hanging around the sound booth flirting with Edward. I followed the trail of guests moving in and out of the dining room, and found a sumptuous buffet set up against one wall, a soft drinks bar against the wall to its right. The food table offered a variety of snacks and finger foods, two of which involved lobster meat. I poured a drink from a dispenser at the bar, and sat down next to Angela in a relatively quiet corner.

"I wonder what this is," I said, examining the sweet, odd tasting liquid in my glass.

"I asked Alice," Angela laughed. "She said it's virgin Pina Colada."

"No wonder I don't recognize it."

Angela looked around. "Pretty amazing, isn't it?"

"The party? Yeah. Alice is something."

"She must have had a lot of help."

"Probably," I agreed, although I knew Alice could have easily managed it alone.

"I didn't know Edward was going to Dartmouth, too."

"Yeah, he is."

"So you'll still be seeing each other while you're in college?"

"Oh, sure."

"Nice. It's probably hard to have your boyfriend at a different college, maybe on the other side of the country. How often could you see each other?"

"Yeah, that would be hard. At least Ben's going to State, with you."

She grinned. "Yep."

"Perfect."

"I bet you and Edward end up married."

"Um, do you think so?"

"Definitely. You're meant to be together; anybody can see that. And imagine what beautiful children the two of you would have."

I did, for just a second, and quickly steered the conversation in other directions.

Angela went off to dance with Ben, and I heard a voice behind me. "Having fun?"

I turned to face Rosalie, who was looking gorgeous, if a little unapproachable, in a red leather miniskirt and fitted black silk tank top. "Yeah, it's nice. Rosalie, you look great!"

"Thanks." She smiled.

"Maybe you should spend some time chatting with my friend Lauren."

She laughed, understanding what I meant. "You want me to chase her away from Edward?"

"No, just give her some sense of proportion about herself."

She laughed even harder. "Come on. You haven't even hit the dance floor yet."

"Uh, Rosalie, I can't dance. Seriously."

"Anybody can stand there and shift from one foot to the other. You can start from there." She gestured Alice over, grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the sound booth. Edward took over the deejay duties while Alice joined us. I found dancing with a group of other girls less imposing than doing the same with a boy, and I relaxed enough to stop thinking about how I looked or how likely it was that I'd stumble, and just enjoy moving to the music. Angela joined the three of us, then Jessica, and finally I ended up part of the general mob of rhythmically moving bodies. I never did get much past standing and shifting feet to the music, but I was enjoying myself.

The party started to wind down around 11:30, when a few guests with an early curfew left, and the remaining people were starting to move out when I caught a glimpse of Edward's face. He looked horrified. "Edward? What's wrong?" I realized he was watching Alice, and that she was standing still, staring blankly into space. I'd learned to recognize that look: she was seeing something in the future, and not a mere glimpse. She remained frozen for almost a minute before she refocused. She and Edward stared at each other.

"What is it? Alice, what did you see?"

"Not now, love," Edward said. "We have to see our guests out first. After that…well, the whole family will need to talk."


	17. Decisions

I didn't know how the Cullens could calmly and leisurely see the rest of the party guests off. I was ready to scream with impatience by the time they'd all gone. Finally the door closed behind the last of them, and the family gathered in a circle in the living room, standing and facing each other at first, then following Carlisle's example and sitting down. I realized that was for my benefit. I sat next to Edward on the couch, holding his hand nervously.

"Well," Alice began, "the decision's been made. Finally."

"So…you're going to Seattle?" I asked her, squeezing Edward's hand harder.

"No. We won't have to." She looked at Jasper. "They're coming here."

"They're all coming to Forks?" I said, horrified.

"Here's what I think happened. Victoria had found ways around my seeing her. She avoided making a decision, and even tried to avoid thinking about what she was _not_ deciding about." Alice looked around to make sure we'd followed that.

"Her plan was to delegate to someone else, someone I wouldn't be watching for, because I didn't know he existed. She made an army of newborns who had no idea what they were intended for, but she also had a general - like Maria had Jasper. Someone she either created for the purpose, or chose from among the army because he was more controlled, or a better leader, or simply more devoted to her."

"He couldn't be brand new, not with that kind of control," Carlisle said. "She must have been planning this for some time."

"That's who was in Bella's room," Edward said. His jaw was clenched tightly and his voice too controlled. I touched his face, trying to calm him.

"So I assume. No newborn did that without leaving any, er, evidence behind." I realized Alice meant dead humans - possibly Charlie. I shuddered. "This general would have to be someone who understood Victoria's ultimate goal, but could act independently. He could work out a strategy without telling Victoria what it was, so I wouldn't see her decide. It was like…her right hand didn't know what her left hand was doing, and since I was only keeping track of her right hand, I didn't catch what was happening."

"What's changed now?" Emmett asked.

"For one thing, Victoria's been informed. She had to be, eventually, if she was going to be involved at all. She's not avoiding making plans any more. She's probably hoping it's too late for us to prepare any kind of defence.

"For another thing, now that I know her general's involved, I can watch him, too. It's easy to see, now. Clear as day."

"Fortunately, she's wrong about our being unprepared," Jasper said. "Do you see them coming here, to the house? To wherever we are at the time?"

Alice shook her head, looking at me with a grave expression. "No. The primary goal is clear, at least. They're after Bella."

Edward put an arm around me, but I didn't feel I needed comfort. I didn't feel any kind of reaction. Maybe I hadn't taken it in yet.

"It was true about the stranger stealing Bella's clothing," Alice went on. "He was taking her scent to the others. They're going to go to wherever Bella is."

"They're not interested in the rest of us?"

"Victoria's intentions are all aimed at reaching Bella. Maybe she assumes that will set off the battle she wants, and the rest of us will be destroyed as well."

Was she right? I wondered. Everyone was so confident about their ability to defeat the newborns, but Victoria was clever. She'd eluded them all until now, even Alice. What if she was using me to get at the Cullens? If so, I was acting as a lure, attracting destruction to Edward and his family. _My_ family.

"It's a strange kind of revenge," Jasper mused. "I've seen vampires who've had their mates destroyed. They were never this patient, this controlled. They would attack wildly, and end up being killed."

"Victoria seems to be a formidable enemy in many ways," Carlisle said. "When will they arrive?"

"Early Wednesday." Her eyes unfocused briefly, and she turned to me. "That's _not _going to happen, Bella. We'd never allow it to happen."

Edward took in her vision, and looked at me sharply. "Allow what?" Jasper asked.

"Allow Bella to run off somewhere to lure the newborns away from us."

"Bella, _dear_!" Esme said in a chiding tone. Emmett laughed. Rosalie rolled her eyes, muttering, "Typical!"

"It wouldn't work in any case," Jasper told me. "You may be the primary goal, but Victoria is unlikely to be satisfied with killing you. She would turn her army on the rest of us once you were dispatched."

"It was just a passing thought," I said, embarrassed.

"I know you want to help, but you can be the most help by allowing yourself to be kept safe, so we can deal with the attack without distractions. You can't actually do anything useful against this kind of enemy. If you try to involve yourself, you become a liability." He said it kindly, but as always, Jasper didn't pull punches with me.

"Okay," I said meekly.

Edward laughed suddenly. "No, definitely not," he told Jasper. I looked at him, but he didn't offer any explanation.

"We need to contact Sam Uley," Carlisle said. "He should be informed."

"At least one more training session would be advisable," Jasper added.

Carlisle took out his phone. He apologized briefly for calling so late before moving on to the business at hand. He snapped the phone shut a few minutes later. "They suggest we meet for more practice, and to discuss strategy. The same location, at three o'clock."

"I should take you home," Edward said.

"Wait a minute! You're not leaving me out of this again!"

"It would be the middle of the night, Bella."

"I can stand losing a few hours' sleep."

Edward looked at Carlisle, who shrugged. "She is entitled to be present, as far as I'm concerned."

"All right," Edward said, "but you should still go home first. There's no sense alarming your father by staying out all night. And you might be able to get some sleep before we leave."

"Okay." I turned to the others. "It might be strange to mention it now, but the party was great. Thank you."

Alice laughed. "That's not strange at all. Not for us, anyway. Happy times and crisis situations tend to follow each other a lot of the time."

Esme kissed my cheek. "Get some rest, sweetheart. We'll see you soon."

Edward offered to drive my truck so I could relax on the way. Emmett followed in his Jeep in order to provide a plausible return trip for Edward, in case Charlie was waiting up. As it turned out, he'd fallen asleep in his armchair, but woke up long enough to take note of my safe return before staggering to the stairs.

"Good party?" he asked groggily as the Jeep drove off.

"Yeah, great. Everybody had a good time."

"Good," he muttered. "G'night, Bells." He disappeared into his room.

I put my crystal heart carefully away, changed into jeans and a light sweater and stretched out on the bed. Edward came through the window a few minutes later. "Are you sure you want to come along for this?"

"I'm sure. If I go to sleep, can I trust you to wake me up when it's time to leave?"

"Certainly."

I kissed him and curled up close to him. "Oh," I remembered, and turned back to look at him. "what did Jasper say that was so funny?"

"What did he say? I'm not sure what you mean." Edward said innocently.

"What did he _think_, then? You told him 'definitely not'."

He gave me a crooked smile. "He'd just advised you to abandon your plan and remain out of the way during our fight, and you immediately agreed. Jasper thought, 'Is she usually this compliant with _you_?' "

"His advice seemed reasonable," I explained.

"Ah. Well, I'll have to remember to stop giving you unreasonable advice."

"That would be good," I murmured, getting comfortable again. "Speaking of which, when I was making wedding plans a little while ago, I was wondering…"

"Yes?"

"You're not expecting old school wedding vows, are you?"

"In what sense?"

"The ones that include the word _obey_?"

He chuckled. "Did you think I'd try to slip that past you? No, I don't require vows of obedience. Which is probably just as well."

"Probably," I agreed, closing my eyes.

I assumed I'd be too wired up to sleep, but Edward hummed my lullaby and I dropped off almost immediately, and woke two hours later as Edward shook me gently. I quickly jumped up, splashed some cold water on my face, tied my hair back and pulled on shoes and a warm jacket. "Ready." Edward took me in his arms, and I braced myself for the sensation of falling. A moment later, I was on his back, darting through the trees at dizzying speed.

The meeting place was a large, remote clearing, the same spot where we'd once played baseball. The rest of the family seemed to appear out of nowhere, Emmett carrying a folding chair which he set up for me.

"Thanks," I said.

Alice handed me a knitted afghan. "In case it gets colder," she said. "Now all you need is a pennant and a team jersey, and you can be our official rooting section."

I waved imaginary pompons "Go, Team Alice!" She giggled.

The pack arrived a few minutes later, and stood together at what seemed like an unnecessary distance from the Cullens. At first I thought Leah hadn't come along, but she was there - well behind the others. She didn't speak the entire time she was there.

Carlisle went over the situation in more detail. Alice answered a few questions.

"You see them arriving Tuesday night, right? Very early Wednesday?" Sam asked her.

"That's right. I see them coming from Seattle in a more or less straight line, crossing the river from the south-east at about 2:40 a.m."

"And after that?" Paul asked. "What happens once they're in Forks?"

"What happens then depends to some extent on what we do," she said. "They're going after Bella, so they'll follow her trail to wherever she happens to be."

"So we can choose the location of the battle," Jasper pointed out.

"But," Seth said, "if they go to wherever Bella is, that would mean Bella would have to be there, in the middle of the battle."

It may seem strange, but I hadn't given that much thought. I'd assumed I would have to be there, where Edward was, and had trusted him and his family to keep me safe if they could.

"We're working on that problem," Carlisle said. "In theory, Bella could be at a distance as long as we intercepted the newborns before they reached her. There's a risk in that, however. If even one of them eluded us, she would be left unprotected. Jasper feels she may be safer with us during the battle than elsewhere."

"Yeah, I see," said Sam. "Of course, a couple of us could stay behind to guard Bella, but that would reduce the numbers facing this army."

"Yes, and our numbers are small enough as it is," Jasper said.

"Which version do you see being safer?" Jacob asked Alice.

"I _don't,_" Alice said, with obvious annoyance. "What I've told you so far is what I saw last night. As soon as Carlisle phoned Sam and he agreed to join the battle here, it all went blank."

"I don't get that," Sam said. "Why can't you see anything if we're involved?"

"No idea," she said. "It's a pain."

"We've been speculating about that question," Carlisle said. "My working hypothesis is that the werewolves exist in an altered relationship to the temporal. Alice's gift relates to time, and she is unable to perceive anything which exists outside our normal time flow."

"Cool!" Paul said. He caught Carlisle's eye a moment, looking almost as if he'd like to continue the conversation. The others just stared blankly at him.

"So it's a trade off," Emmett said. "We meet the newborns along with nine or ten werewolves on our side, but we have to go into it blind."

"What you call _blind_ is the way most people are all the time," Paul pointed out.

"True," Carlisle smiled, "but we've become accustomed to relying on Alice's vision."

"I can still follow them until the time they reach Forks," Alice said. "I'll know if there's a change of plans."

Carlisle nodded to Jasper, who stepped forward and spoke to the pack, apparently expanding on tips he'd given them at their previous session, warning them what to avoid when fighting newborns. I could easily picture him as the second-in-command he'd once been, in charge of controlling and, when necessary, destroying the members of a newborn army. It was a sharp contrast to the Jasper I knew. He'd come a long way to finally be civilized and at peace.

The battle demonstrations scared me at first. It was hard to watch Edward being under attack, and little Alice looked frighteningly vulnerable when Emmett darted at her. Jasper paused between fights at one point and turned to me. "You _know_ these are only demonstrations, don't you?"

"Sure."

"Oh, dear," Esme said, "are we frightening her?"

"No, no," I said hastily. "I'm fine."

"Let me show you something," Jasper said. "I know you worry about Alice. You should understand why there's no reason to." He approached Alice, and I tensed as he crouched to spring, but Alice seemed to move from his path the instant he darted at her, so quickly I couldn't make out her movements. I assumed her vision made it possible to evade his every move. Jasper moved faster, and Alice avoided him even more deftly, seeming to dance effortlessly away from him. At last he lunged at her only to find her clinging to his back, her teeth at his neck. They both laughed, and I applauded. The Quileutes looked at each other a little disapprovingly.

"There's no need to worry about Alice," Emmett told me. "It's Esme who's the weak link, actually."

"Emmett! That's rude," Rosalie told him.

Esme laughed. "No, it's quite true. Carlisle and I are working as a team," she told me. "Unfortunately, I'm just not very good at martial arts." That explained why she and Carlisle practiced in tandem. I felt a little envious.

The battle reenactments went on a long time, the Cullens and the pack always maintaining a distance between each other. I eventually wrapped the afghan around me, and was starting to doze off when the fighting came to an end. I woke up as Jasper was speaking.

"The newborns will not maintain any kind of ranks. It's every man for himself. Since the wolves are able to think and act as a unit, it might be more effective if they joined forces against any cluster of three or more newborns, while we each attack isolated individuals one by one."

"Makes sense," Sam agreed.

"We have a request regarding Bella," Carlisle said. "We would be most effective during this battle if we have all hunted recently. We'd hoped to do so tomorrow, but it would take up less time if we did not have to leave in two shifts, one staying behind to guard Bella."

Sam looked a little revolted, probably by the mention of the Cullens hunting. "So you want us to keep watch?"

"If you would be so kind."

"Sure. Even better, why doesn't she come to the rez for the day? School's out there, and we're having a barbecue and stuff for the high school students. She couldn't be any safer than with all of us at once." Carlisle and Edward looked at each other. "Our temporary treaty's still in place," Sam added, a little tersely. "No harassing Bella, and if she wants to leave, we take her home and guard her there, or wherever else she wants to go."

I got to my feet and stood a little closer to the others. Carlisle was looking at Edward as if waiting for a reply.

I saw Edward nod slightly, and Carlisle turned to me. "Bella? Is that acceptable to you?"

"It's fine. As long as Charlie doesn't need me at home. Thanks," I added to Sam. It had been some time since I'd visited LaPush, and I found myself actually looking forward to it. I felt a little foolish and juvenile to be anticipating a beach barbecue when everyone was preparing to fight for our lives, but it felt like a break from the relentless stress of waiting for Victoria to act. And the lesser, barely conscious stress of waiting to leave the life I'd known behind forever. Hanging out at the beach and eating hot dogs with a bunch of other recent graduates sounded blissfully uncomplicated.

"When should I come?" I asked Sam.

"Any time during the day. Did you all want to leave early in the morning?" he asked Carlisle.

"No, Esme and I will be attending early services at St. Andrew's first, so we would not set out until 9:30 or 10:00." The idea of Esme and Carlisle in a church seemed to shock some members of the pack, amuse others.

"I'll drop her off at the boundary line," Edward said, "via the 110. Could someone be available to meet her there?"

"Sure," Sam nodded. "Just phone ahead." He shrugged. "I guess that's it." He started moving away from the clearing.

"Thanks for the training session," Seth called out.

"Uh, yeah," Sam said, turning back briefly. "Thanks."

"We're grateful for your help," Carlisle said.

Sam turned and ran off into the darkness, and the others followed.

Edward spoke briefly with Carlisle and Jasper, then came to my side. "I'll take you back home," he said. "You can get some rest before leaving for LaPush."

"Okay." I wasn't sure what to say to the others. "I'll…I'll see you soon. Have a good hunt."

"Thanks, little sister," Emmett said, grinning. He mussed my hair. "Don't look so worried!"

"I don't understand why you're _not_ worried."

"The odds are staggeringly in our favour," Jasper said. "We're taking every precaution to keep them that way, but there's little real danger to us. You're the only vulnerable element."

"Really?"

Emmett laughed. "She sounds so relieved."

"That doesn't surprise me at all," Edward sighed and pulled me into his arms. I called goodbye as he darted out of the clearing and through the trees, reaching my darkened house in minutes and carrying me soundlessly from branch to rooftop and through my bedroom window. "Charlie's still asleep," he told me.

"Good. Can you wake me at seven? I want to say goodbye, and let him know where I'll be."

"Will you have enough sleep?"

"I can nap a little more after he goes, if I need to."

I crept quietly to the bathroom, put on my pyjamas, and returned to the bedroom. Edward folded back the sheets for me, and I slid into bed, yawning. "You must be exhausted."

"I'm pretty tired," I admitted, laying back and leaning my head on his chest. "Are you really okay with me staying at LaPush all day?"

"I wouldn't have agreed to it if I'd had any doubts. Why? Do you have concerns?"

"Not really. Just making sure." He looked at me curiously. "Well…I kind of expect an argument with Billy. They promised no harassment or forcible re-education programmes, but I think he considers nagging exempt."

Edward frowned. "Has he been giving you trouble?"

"Nothing serious." I described my dinner with Charlie and the others, and Billy's attempts to warn me away. "It's just as well he doesn't know my plans for the summer."

"Yes," he said soberly. "Avoid mentioning that if you can. They may learn about it eventually, but it would be best it came out after we'd finished dealing with Victoria and her army."

"Okay." I looked at him. "You're sure this is all right?"

"I am. Their thoughts were…well, somewhat hostile toward _us_, as always, but without any sign of ill intentions to you. They will keep their agreement. If Billy Black goes too far, ask any member of the pack to intervene. They take their promises seriously."

I nodded, curled up against him, and fell asleep. If Edward's overprotective instincts were at peace with this plan, I certainly had nothing to worry about.

Edward kissed me awake just before 7:00. "Charlie is in the kitchen," he whispered. "If you want to speak to him, you should be able to catch him before he leaves."

"Thanks." I jumped up and plodded sleepily down the stairs, trying to smooth out my hair as I went. "Hey, Dad."

He looked up from his coffee in surprise. "Hi, Bells. I'm surprised to see you up this early. I thought you'd still be sleeping off the party."

"I may go back to bed for a while, but I wanted to let you know I'll be out most of today. Jacob invited me to this end of school barbecue they're having at First Beach. I was going to go, and maybe hang out with some of them for the afternoon and…well, maybe until night. Unless that's a problem."

"No, that's good. Isn't Edward going with you?"

"His whole family's going hiking for the day."

"Oh. Yeah, hiking's not your thing, is it?" He grinned. "It's been a while since you visited there. You used to hang out with Jacob and his sisters, when you were little."

"Yeah. It'll be fun to get back together."

"Sure. Stay as long as you want."

"Thanks, Dad. There's leftovers in the fridge." It was party food from the previous night, and plenty of it. Charlie wouldn't be going hungry while I was gone. "Have a good day."

"You too, Bells." He closed the front door, and a moment later I heard the cruiser head down the street. I went back up the stairs, yawning again, stopped off for a human minute and returned to my bedroom.

"More sleep?" Edward asked.

"Maybe a little." I lay down and was instantly unconscious.

After two more hours, I woke spontaneously, feeling alert. I stretched and sat up. "_Now_ I'm awake."

"Are you sure you've rested enough? It was a very active slumber." He was half smiling.

"Why? Was I talking again?"

"Much of the time."

"What about?" I stood up and stretched again. I felt a little tense.

"Oh, this and that," he said evasively. I looked at him, but he just kept smiling at me.

"Are you in a hurry? Maybe you want to join the others? I could leave for LaPush right away, if you want."

"No, I'm in no particular hurry. I can catch up with them at any time."

"Okay. I'm going to take a quick shower, if you don't mind waiting for me."

"I don't mind at all; but, if you wouldn't object to an alternate proposal…"

"Yes?"

"I thought I might join you."

"In the shower?" I squeaked. Not that I minded, but it was new territory for us; and Edward wasn't usually so direct.

"Yes." He gave me a little of his crooked grin, and my heart began to speed up. He kissed the pulse point on my throat, then pulled me closer, nuzzling gently from ear to shoulder. "I had an inkling," he said softly, "that you might like the idea." I saw him smile lazily at my expression.

His confidence might have seemed a little arrogant if it hadn't been so completely justified.

Something occurred to me. "What exactly _did_ I say in my sleep?"

"Instead of telling you," he said, leading me toward the bathroom, "maybe I should show you."

* * *

**(Thanks to Abbyweyr for her contribution to this chapter, and for ongoing helpful advice.)**


	18. Respite

I sat quietly in the passenger seat of my truck, holding hands with Edward as he drove. We talked a little, but mostly we were just companionably silent. I felt relaxed and satisfied with life, and very, very clean. Taking a shower would never seem the same to me again.

"Are you sure you'll be warm enough?" Edward asked me.

"I'm sure." I'd dressed in layers, sweater over tee shirt, and carried a windbreaker with a hood. It was a cold spring, even for Forks.

He nodded. "I won't be away long. We're staying close to home. I'll probably be back before midnight."

"Okay. Don't rush, though. Do what you need to do."

He smiled at me, pulling over to the side of the highway as we neared the border. I saw a car approaching from inside the reserve. "Who is it?" I asked.

"Paul and Seth." He chuckled. "Paul's anxious to get back to the beach. They were lighting the barbecues when he left."

"I won't hold him up, then." I leaned over and kissed Edward, and clung to him a moment. "I'll see you when I get back."

"Have fun."

I grimaced. "That doesn't seem right, under the circumstances."

"It's perfectly right. Alice is correct: we alternate crises and periods of vigilance with companionship and enjoyment. It's the pattern of our lives, much of the time. You're not being disloyal, or whatever it is you imagine, if you have a good time while there's the opportunity. Besides, I feel better knowing you won't spend the day worrying."

"Then I _will _have fun," I said firmly. "I'll enjoy this beach bash like a priestess at her very first bacchanal." He snorted in amusement. "Unrestrained revelry, that's the order of the day."

"Excellent. I'm only sorry I can't be here to observe the revelry. Although," he added with a slightly suggestive smile, "I take comfort in having been present for the _actual _bacchanal."

"You were definitely the life of the party," I said, feeling my face turn red. He laughed and kissed me once more, and climbed out of the truck to allow me to slide into the driver's seat.

"See you later," I murmured, reluctant as always to leave him.

He pressed my hand and stepped away from the truck, and I drove over the boundary line with a final glance at him.

The badly dented tan Blazer made a U turn and followed me down the highway. Just what I always wanted: my very own Secret Service protection detail. I waved at the people inside, and in my rear view mirror I could see Seth wave back and Paul, after a pause, briefly raise his hand.

The Blazer pulled in at the Clearwaters' house, and I parked beside it and got out. Seth hopped out of the passenger side and approached me. "I have to stop and get some food from my mom," he explained. "She's donating to the picnic."

"Okay. Maybe I should say hello." I didn't want to risk running into Leah, but I thought Charlie would like it if I looked in on Sue. I followed Seth into the weathered little house, while Paul gestured he was going to run on ahead. Probably in a hurry to get first crack at that barbecue.

The house was neat and clean, but the furniture was shabby and there were makeshift repairs here and there. I remembered Charlie coming here to fix things, after Harry had died.

"Mom?" Seth called out, and Sue came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands.

"There you are!" She looked past him at me. "Hello, Bella."

"Hi." I felt suddenly shy. I'd heard kids at school refer casually to _my father's girlfriend_, but I hadn't expected to ever deal with such an entity.

"You're here for the school picnic?"

"Yeah. Jacob invited me," I said, just to establish I wasn't crashing the party. "Last night, at the, um…"

"That's fine," she said serenely. Nothing ever seemed to ruffle Sue. She probably accepted her children turning into mythical beings without a second thought. "Seth, come help me pack up this stuff."

"Can I help?" I offered.

"Thanks, but Seth can manage fine. Make yourself at home."

I waited in the small, furniture-packed living room. There were a few bookshelves bolted to a wall, and I automatically went over to look.

I scanned the small collection of novels: _To Kill a Mockingbird, Huckleberry Finn, 1984, The Handmaid's Tale_…some familiar titles, and a lot I'd never heard of.  
Several science fiction compilations, which I thought must have been Harry's. I remembered Charlie telling me he liked that kind of thing. The fishing guides, I assumed, were also Harry's.  
_Beauty and Mysticism in American Indian Art_ and several books on Native American history, including a thin, cheaply bound book of Quileute history and mythology.  
Scattered nonfiction: _The Diary of Ann Frank, The Gulag Archipelago_, _Persepolis_, Gandhi's _Nonviolent Resistance_. Sue must have more of a serious side than I was aware of.  
_A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ - that showed a lighter side, as did _Alice in Wonderland_ and some old Far Side compilations.  
A paperback Bible stood next to_ Myths and Legends of the Pacific Northwest_, and a hardbound collection of Grimm's Fairy Tales. Hmm.  
The collection was rounded out with some books on local plant life, guides to home repair, and a selection of cookbooks.

It was an glimpse of Sue from a new perspective. She and Charlie must have some interesting conversations; and on a practical level, I was pleased to note the cookbooks.

One section of shelf was cleared to make room for framed photographs. There were standard school photos of Leah and Seth; a picture of Harry standing near the house, holding a seven or eight year old Leah's hand and balancing a grinning Seth on his shoulders; and another one of Seth and Leah with an elderly woman - their grandmother? There were two small snapshots of Leah and Seth as babies, looking indistinguishable from each other.

I glanced at the photos without much interest until I came to a framed picture of Sue and Charlie. That caught my attention. The photo showed them here in this house, sitting together at the table in Sue's kitchen, laughing. It was interesting to see Charlie's face in the picture. He looked so happy and relaxed. I wondered who had taken the photograph.

Sue came back into the room as I was bent over, studying the snapshot. I quickly straightened up; she glanced at the picture on the shelf and gave me an odd little smile. "Seth's just taking out the trash. Would you like some lemonade?"

"Sure, thanks."

I followed her into the kitchen. "So how is your dad?" she asked. She poured out a glass of lemonade and set it on the table.

I sat down. "He's fine."

"He's a good guy."

"Uh, yeah." I swallowed some lemonade, a little nervously. I liked Sue, but I didn't want to hear any gushing about how captivating my father was. Not that Sue seemed like the gushing type, but you never knew.

"He was a big help to us after Harry died." I nodded. "And then, after some time passed, we started hanging out together. We see a lot of each other now."

"Right."

"I hope that's not difficult for you."

I looked at her in surprise. "Difficult? No."

"I know that sometimes, when your parents divorce, it's hard to see your father…moving on."

I laughed a little. "My mom and dad got divorced when I was a baby. I don't even remember them ever being together. Mom's remarried. And Ch…Dad's been on his own this whole time. I'm _glad_ he's, er, spending time with you."

"Good, then. I just thought you were a little reserved, at the graduation dinner."

"No! I mean, I didn't mean to be. I'm kind of like that with most people." I grimaced, realizing how true that was. "And then Billy and Jacob started…you know."

"Yes. Billy worries about you. He's known you since you were born."

"I know." Seth came through the back door.

"Well, you know you're always welcome here."

"Thanks, Sue." That had to have been the most painless father's-girlfriend talk ever.

She piled boxes into Seth's arms, and allowed me to take a few bags. "Enjoy your day," she called after both of us.

"Thanks!" I called back. We piled the food in the back of the Blazer and got in. "Is this your mom's car?" I asked Seth.

"Yep." He wheeled around expertly and returned to the road.

I looked over at him. "You're not actually old enough to drive, are you?"

He grinned. "Not officially. I don't drive except on the rez. We're more relaxed about it here."

I nodded, recalling that Jacob had driven Billy around before he had his license. "Can I ask you something kind of personal?"

"Sure." He grew serious.

"You don't mind your mom going with Charlie, do you?"

"Me? No. I like your dad." He frowned.

"But?"

"No, it's nothing. It's just…I guess I should mention it - Leah might say something."

"Leah doesn't like it?" I was a little annoyed. Leah seemed to be congenitally crabby.

"It's not that. It's just a little hard for her to see any happy couples since…you know what happened with Sam, right?" I shook my head. "Well, she went with Sam Uley for a long time. They were supposed to get married some day and everything; and then our cousin Emily came to visit, and …well, Sam's with Emily now."

"Sam dumped Leah for her cousin?"

"Yeah."

"That's a crappy thing to do. No wonder Leah's upset. She must just _hate_ Sam."

"No. She doesn't blame him."

"How could she not blame him?"

"She knows he couldn't help it." I rolled my eyes. "No, I don't mean it like that. I mean he _really_ couldn't help it. It's this wolf thing."

"What? Being a werewolf makes you uncontrollably fickle?"

"Just the opposite." He seemed perfectly serious. "They call it imprinting. You know, like when baby ducks follow the first thing they see after they hatch?"

Baby ducks? "What are we talking about here?"

"We have the same thing. Well, kind of. Some of us find a wife that way, or a mate, or whatever you call it. I've seen it in my head when I was with them." He glanced at me, and I nodded to indicate I'd heard about the group mind phenomenon.

"So when it happens, he sees this person and it's all over. He's hers, forever. He forgets about any other woman. Well, no - not literally forgets. That would be easier. Sam didn't forget about Leah; he knows how they felt about each other, and everything. He feels awful about it. It just doesn't matter any more. He _has_ to be with Emily."

"That's crazy!"

"I know, but it's true. Leah's in the pack; she knows Sam couldn't help it. She doesn't blame him."

I had the idea he was avoiding something. "She blames the Cullens, doesn't she?"

He shrugged apologetically. "Sort of, yeah. She figures if they hadn't come back, there'd be no wolves, and if there were no wolves, there'd be no imprinting, and she and Sam would still be together."

I decided to let this sink in a while. "Leah's not too hard on Sue, is she? About her and Charlie?"

"No, not really. Just a little rude sometimes. Mom gets it."

He drove down the short dead end road that led to the beach, parked on the shoulder where several other cars had been left, and climbed out. It was now warm enough to leave my jacket behind. We carried Sue's contributions to the row of grills set up on the beach, and I scanned the shore, looking for people I knew. Clearly, the party wasn't strictly limited to new graduates. I saw a young woman wading through the surf, carrying a pair of shoes. "Isn't that Rebecca? Jacob's big sister?"

Seth laughed. "No, that's Rachel." Her identical twin. I always did have trouble telling them apart.

"I haven't seen her since I was eleven or twelve." I wasn't even sure how I'd recognized her. Something about her face remained the same, although Rachel was now a grown woman. I was debating with myself whether to go and say hello, when she looked in my direction and waved. She left the shoreline and came toward me.

"Hi, Bella! I didn't know you'd be here." She gave Seth a friendly wave.

"Yeah, Jacob asked me. How are you?"

"I'm great. Classes ended a few weeks ago and came back here until I figure out what I'm doing."

"Rachel got into Western on a scholarship," Seth said, referring to a university in the northwest part of the state. "Finished a four year programme in only two years."

"Nice," I told her.

Rachel shrugged modestly. "Summer classes." She sat down on one of the wooden beams that had been set out on the rocky beach as makeshift benches. I sat down beside her, and Seth sat cross-legged on the stones, facing us. "I thought it would be strange, being back after so long away, but it's not. I felt at home ten seconds after I got here." She gestured toward the gathering around the barbecues. "Did you just graduate, too?"

"Yeah, we just had our ceremony yesterday."

"Those awful yellow caps and gowns?" I laughed with her. "We always used to joke that we had a much cooler graduation ceremony than the kids in Forks."

"To be fair, that doesn't take much."

Both she and Seth laughed. "I guess not. So, when was the last time I saw you? One of our fishing trips with your dad and mine?"

"I think so. I don't remember most of those trips. I've blocked them out for the sake of my mental health."

We reminisced a while, then started talking books, at which point the conversation became effortless. Our tastes in literature, although not identical, meshed perfectly. Rachel was about a year and a half older than me, but she seemed even older, especially when compared with Jacob. I wasn't surprised she'd already finished college. I didn't mention Dartmouth; I was a little ashamed, considering that Rachel had got into her college, and finished in two years, by her own efforts alone.

At one point Rachel looked over my shoulder at something, and smiled. I turned to see Paul approaching, carrying a paper plate full of food and a plastic cup. He was looking at Rachel, and it was the first time I'd seen him without at least some anger in his expression. He handed her the food and drink with a look of devotion I hadn't seen since…well, since I'd left Edward an hour ago. It seemed strange on Paul. I'd have expected him to be one of those cool, indifferent boyfriends, but he was openly adoring.

Rachel thanked him, but looked a little embarrassed at being the only one with food. "Bella, maybe I should…"

"Oh, it's okay. I was just going to go get something." I got up from the seat and looked over at the grills. There was a cluster of people taking their turns getting burgers or hot dogs.

Seth got up as well. "I'll go with you. I'm getting hungry."

"Talk to you later," I said to Rachel. She smiled and nodded. Paul gave me a brief smile of acknowledgement, but his attention was focused on Rachel.

"Wow," I said to Seth as we walked across the stones and seaweed, "I never expected Paul to be so affectionate."

Seth shrugged. "Like I said, it's a wolf thing."

"But that's with Sam and Emily."

"Sam's not the only one."

I whirled to look back at Paul, sitting beside Rachel and watching her as if she were levitating instead of merely eating a burger. "_Paul _did this imprinting thing? On Rachel?"

"Yeah. There are a couple of others, too."

"Which ones?" I looked furtively around the beach. There were a lot of couples, but they all looked normal.

He grinned. "No, why don't you see if you can pick them out? It's pretty easy, when you already know they have to be pack members."

"I'll see what I can do." I took a soft drink from one of the coolers laid out near the barbecue and picked up a paper plate. "So does Rachel know about…all that?" I waved my paper plate at the totality of the werewolf situation.

"Yeah. Once Paul imprinted, it was considered okay to tell her. Those are the rules, apparently."

"And she doesn't mind?"

He gave me an odd look. "No, she doesn't seem to. I mean, she was freaked out at first, naturally, but she accepts it now."

"Hotdog, beef burger, turkey burger, or salmon?" asked the cheerful girl overseeing the grill. Salmon, I knew from past experience, was ubiquitous here.

"Turkey, please." She deftly scooped one from the grill, placed it on a bun and handed it over. "Thanks." I went to the little plastic table where condiments had been set out along with bags of potato chips. There was also a large bowl of dried fruit, probably from some well intentioned parent. I took some of the fruit, hoping it would counterbalance an entire day of grilled meat, chips and canned pop. Seth joined me a moment later, balancing two burgers on a plate. He smothered them in pickles, added a mound of chips to the plate, and walked with me down the beach a distance to sit on a split log.

Seth took occasional breaks from eating to make polite remarks, and I kept conversation minimal to let him concentrate on his food. I watched groups of kids, and a few adults, walk on the beach, wade in the cold water, and generally goof around. Further down the beach, four boys were playing something like volleyball, except without a net. My eyes continued down the shore to the ridge of rock that extended into the ocean sixty or seventy yards. It was very similar to the cliffs a little further south where I'd once fallen into the ocean. Or jumped - I still wasn't completely sure. I watched the waves break against the rocks a few minutes before pulling my thoughts away. I didn't like remembering that time.

Rachel and Paul came walking down the beach, holding hands. When Rachel noticed Seth and me, she turned in our direction, tugging Paul along with her. "I forgot, I wanted to write down those titles for you." She dropped onto the log bench beside me, pulling a pen and scrap of paper out of her shoulder bag. "Check these out; you'll probably like them."

"Thanks." I took the paper and put it in my jeans pocket. Sam crossed the beach with an arm around Emily, the girl with the ravaged face. His attitude, like Paul's, seemed just a little more attentive than a typical boyfriend, even apart from the fact that her disfigurement didn't put him off, as it might most guys.

"So Jacob asked you to come today?"

"That's right."

"Where is he, anyway?" she asked Seth.

"He had to drive Billy to a doctor's appointment," Seth answered. "He'll be around."

"I couldn't believe how much he'd changed when I came back," Rachel mused.

"Yeah, it's strange," I agreed. "Look at Seth. The last time I saw him, he was a scrawny little kid. Now he looks like the label on a can of protein powder." They laughed. "Well, they_ all _do," I added, glancing from Paul to Sam Uley, who was now swinging Emily in his arms and playfully threatening to throw her into the water.

Rachel stared at me a moment, then looked quizzically at Paul. "Yeah," he said, "Bella's in the loop."

"Oh! Then she must be…" She turned back to me excitedly. "Who is it? Don't tell me it's my brother! Is that why Jake invited you? I can't believe he didn't say anything."

"What? No!" I cursed inwardly as I saw Jake come trotting from the parking area to the beach. I didn't think he'd like hearing this.

"Then who? Embry?"

"It's nobody. Really."

"But there's no way any of them would have told you unless…"

Paul and Seth looked at each other just as Jacob arrived. "Hey, guys. How's everything?" He grinned at Seth, Paul and Rachel, gave me a curt nod, and sat down next to Seth.

"Fine," Rachel said, "but listen. Who's Bella going with? She won't tell." She raised her eyebrows at his slightly hostile expression. "What?"

"Rachel," Paul said, "it's a little different with Bella. She heard about us through…other sources."

"Actually," I put in, just to poke at Jacob a little, "Jacob told me about it, and someone else confirmed it."

"Someone else? But who else knows?" Rachel looked from one face to another.

"_They_ do," Paul said darkly.

Rachel clearly understood who _they_ were. "But…"

"Bella's dating one of them," Jacob told her.

Rachel's eyes popped open. "Seriously?" She looked at me.

"I've been seeing Edward since last year," I told her, determined to remain unflustered.

"It's true," Jacob said. "She hangs out at their house all the time."

Rachel looked at me carefully, as if searching for signs of insanity she'd overlooked until now. "Wow! Is that even…I mean, you're obviously alive and well, so I guess it's safe, but…doesn't it scare you, being so close to them?"

"No, not at all." Trying to change the subject, I asked Jacob, "How's Billy? Didn't Seth say he was at the doctor's today? Is he okay?"

Jacob snorted. "Okay? I think so." He nodded to a spot further down the beach, and I followed his gaze. Billy's wheelchair had been set onto some planks overlooking the water, a plate of food was on his lap, and Billy was happily watching the activity on the beach as he ate. He looked down the shoreline and caught my eye, and I waved to him. He waved a hotdog at me. "It was just a routine checkup," Jacob said. "Rachel nagged him until he agreed to go."

"He doesn't always listen to me," Rachel commented. "For example, he shouldn't be eating that hotdog." She shook her head at Billy, then turned back to me. "So…what's it like, being friends with them?"

"The Cullens? It's great."

"Not creepy?"

I laughed. "No. They're a lot of fun."

Jacob grimaced. "I suppose they spend a lot of money on you."

"No!" I said indignantly. I wished Alice had never bought me clothes, so I could claim none of them had every spent a dime on me. "I'm not interested in their money, Jacob! That's kind of insulting."

"Sorry," he said grudgingly. "I just don't get it. Especially the boyfriend thing."

"What's to get? Edward is the best, smartest, kindest, most thoughtful man I've ever met. And the Cullens are wonderful people."

"People!" he scoffed. "They're _not_ people; that's the point. They're not human. It's unnatural for them to even exist."

"Pot, meet kettle," I muttered.

He understood what I was saying, and frowned. "It's not the same thing."

"Sure."

"It's _not_," Paul said. "This is something that's natural to us. We're still human beings. We're nothing like _them_."

I shrugged. "Whatever you need to tell yourself."

Paul looked irritated, but not furious. Maybe Rachel had a calming influence on him.

"We didn't bring Bella here to fight with her," Seth said mildly. "The Cullens are trying to keep her safe, just like we are."

Paul and Jacob, with obvious non-verbal expressions of disapproval, accepted the truce, and Rachel gracefully changed the subject. Her eyes continued to rest on me searchingly from time to time. I assumed she was curious about the human-vampire thing.

I'd been half-consciously observing a couple who were walking barefoot along the tideline, occasionally stopping to skip stones. The girl was slightly homely, but with a pleasant smile. The boy - although he looked more like an unusually tall and athletic man - was someone I recognized from the meetings. He was big and muscular, like all the pack members. His fascination with the girl was apparent, but it had a quality that caught my eye, something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"What's that boy's name?" I asked Seth. "Jared, isn't it?"

He looked over at the couple. "Yeah, that's Jared and Kim. Why?"

"He's another one. He imprinted on Kim."

Seth grinned. "Good call! I asked Bella to try and guess," he explained to the others.

"What gave it away?" Rachel asked.

"It's hard to put into words." I thought a moment. "Jared can't be much older than Seth, right?" Seth nodded. "Well, I see couples their age, and even when they seem to be very close, they're still kind of…unconcerned. Jared seemed more serious about Kim. He reminded me of…" I was about to say he reminded me of the couples in the Cullen family, but I thought better of it. "…of some couples I know who've been happily married a long time. Like his feelings went deeper than they should have by this point."

Seth nodded thoughtfully, and Paul and Rachel looked at each other. "There's one more," Paul said. "I bet you don't guess that one."

The rest of the afternoon was more relaxed. I rolled up my jeans and waded in the freezing water; went for a walk down to the cliffs and back; ate another burger, offset by more dried fruit; and chatted with Billy without receiving a thinly veiled warning in return. I declined to join in the volleyball game, but stood with the spectators, who called out new, completely random rules, and cheered when they were put into play. I felt like an ordinary human teenager, enjoying an afternoon of harmless fun. It had been a while.

Late in the afternoon, a handful of parents and graduates, who had been at work during the day, showed up, along with some younger siblings. Since the food was long gone, everyone passed the hat and used the money to buy enough pizza for the second shift. As the sun began to set, driftwood was gathered into two large piles to make bonfires on the beach. I retrieved my jacket from the car and sat on a chunk of wood, eating pizza and dreamily staring at the bluish flames. Apart from missing Edward, I was feeling very contented.

A little girl ran past me, giggling, and headed straight toward the fire. A boy - one of the pack, I assumed from his build - hurried after her.

"Don't touch the fire, Claire. It can hurt you."

The child stopped where she was, staring at the fire. "Pretty!"

"Is it as pretty as you are?" the boy joked.

"No!" She burst out laughing, then started waddling down the beach. She began clumsily piling rocks into a heap. "I want to make a big pile."

"Okay." The boy squatted down beside her. "Can I help?"

"Yeah." She examined the stony shoreline soberly. "I need a_ lots_ of rocks."

"Well, we certainly have those." The boy gathered rocks and added them to the pile. He seemed surprisingly content with entertaining the little girl. As I watched, he carefully brushed her hair out of her eyes, taking pains to avoid interrupting her play for even a second. He began adding stones by dropping them from a height, one by one, when he realized it made the child laugh. "Bombs away!" he called, releasing another rock, and the kid giggled.

I noticed Emily, the young woman with the injured face, looking at me. "My niece," she said, gesturing to the rock gatherers. "I took her down here to give her mom a break."

"Oh. She's cute. Is that her, um, big brother?"

"No, Quil's just a friend." She turned away, watching the pair play on the shore.

"He's really good with her," I commented. "Most guys that age, I don't think they have the patience to be baby-sitters."

"Quil's kind of exceptional," she said drily.

Jacob approached me, a slice of pizza in each hand. "Listen, we're having this thing later. A story-telling circle. My dad told me to invite you."

I laughed at the halfhearted invitation. "Is it okay? I don't want to be in the way."

"No, it's fine. After everybody else goes in for the night, the pack and, well, people who know about the pack are going to get together down there." He pointed to a ridge a short distance north, close to the water. "Seth's gone home to pick up his mom. Sue wants to be there."

"Okay."

Jacob sat down on the beach between my seat and where Emily was sitting on an empty pizza box, her arms around her knees. Sam, who had been adding wood to the bonfire, came back to sit beside her, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. Someone set up a portable CD player, and music started. I could see people dancing boisterously by the light of the two bonfires, others running by as they chased each other, playfully wrestling and occasionally being pushed into the water. Couples sat close together watching the fire, or slipped away into the surrounding darkness. I wished again that Edward was with me.

Little Claire had finally become tired of playing with rocks, and Quil had followed her around tirelessly, making sure she wasn't tripped over by bigger people. Finally she asked to be picked up, and Quil held her and talked to her, then swayed to the music while she rested her head against him. When her eyes closed, Quil sat down carefully beside Emily, holding the child in his arms, watching her face as she slept. After a while, Emily said, "We should get her back home. Her mother won't want her out late."

Quil nodded and rose, taking the most scrupulous care to avoid waking Claire. He moved toward the parking area, walking slowly to avoid any jostling. Emily and Sam followed him. Sam nodded to Jacob as he left. "We'll be back."

Seth came running up the beach and threw himself down on the rocks and sand next to Jacob and me. "So you didn't guess!"

"Guess who the other couple was? No, I didn't notice anybody else in particular. Who is it?"

I noticed that Jacob looked annoyed. "Did you really have to bring this up?" he asked Seth.

"What?" I looked from him to Seth.

"It's Quil," Seth told me.

"Quil? But I never saw him with a girl. How would I guess if she wasn't even here today?"

"She was here. You saw him with Claire."

"Claire? You mean that little girl?"

"Yeah. It surprised everybody."

"What are you talking about? Claire can't be his girlfriend! She's practically a baby!"

"It's not like that," Jacob said. "I can see it in his head when we're…"

"Not like what?"

"He doesn't think of Claire as his girlfriend. He will some day, I guess, but not while she's little. Imprinting just makes her…kind of the centre of the universe for him. He's happy to be whatever Claire needs at the time. Baby sitter, friend, big brother, whatever. As she gets older, he'll change according to what's best for her. And once she's grown up, they'll be together, like Sam and Emily."

"That's just about the weirdest thing I've ever heard."

"For you, that's saying something."

I grimaced. It was true. "So Quil just waits for her to grow up?"

"Yeah. That part's kind of rough on him. It'll be another fifteen years, and in the meantime there's no girls in his life."

"Is that a rule or something?" I asked.

"No, there's no rule. He just isn't interested. I asked him about it once. He can't even see girls that way any more. There's only Claire. It's the same way with any of the guys who imprint, only usually they don't have to wait years and years."

I thought about Edward, who had waited almost a century, thinking he'd always be alone.

The party started breaking up. Remains of the food and drink were gathered up, and people started to drift away from the beach, calling out goodbyes to each other. I walked to the campground facilities the partiers had been using for a human minute, smoothed out my windblown hair and zipped up my jacket against the chilly night air. When I came back outside, I saw Seth standing a few yards to my right, Jacob the same distance to my left. "What's going on?" I asked.

"We're just keeping an eye out, like we're supposed to," Jacob said. "No one else from the pack in nearby at the moment."

"Oh." I'd almost forgotten I was here so I could be kept under guard.

Once the beach had cleared out, Jacob left to drive Billy by road to our meeting place. Everyone else started walking north along the beach. I had some trouble making my way without tripping in the darkness. Seth appeared beside me and handed me a flashlight. "Thanks." I switched it on, and was able to make my way reasonably well. I saw a few other people using lights as well, but none of the pack members seemed to find it necessary.

We came to the designated spot to find Billy and Jacob already there. Jacob was piling driftwood, and the others helped him, then started another bonfire. Billy was wheeled closer to the fire, and everyone else sat down on stumps or pieces of driftwood. I dragged a chunk of timber toward the fire, sat down and looked around at the circle of faces in the firelight. The entire pack were present - including Leah, who must have arrived in the last few minutes - and so were the imprinted people I'd learned of today, Kim sitting beside Jared, Sam with Emily, and Rachel beside Paul. Sue and Billy were there as well, parents of the wolves; and the man they called Old Quil, the tribal elder.

I wasn't sure what to expect. The people in the circle simply sat and talked freely for the first few minutes; then they gradually began to fall silent. Old Quil made some apparently unconnected remarks about the day's events and some of the people present, then everything was quiet for almost a full minute. At last, Billy began to speak.

He began with the legends of the origins of the Quileute tribe, and the story of how the werewolves, or 'spirit warriors,' had first appeared. Then Old Quil continued with an account of the tribe's first confrontation with a 'Cold One,' a vampire. I felt a shock as he moved on to the story of their encounter with the Cullens and the pact they had made. It seemed strange to actually know people who were described in these legends, and to realize all this happened half a century before I was born.

The stories were fascinating, and I felt privileged to be allowed to attend; but by the time the last story was concluded, I was barely awake. I'd missed a lot of sleep lately. Sue noticed how tired I was, and said something to Seth, who disappeared. "Seth's going to bring the car around for both of us," she explained, switching on her flashlight and leading me away from the beach toward a narrow dirt road. I was dimly aware of pack members standing a short distance away, keeping watch.

I started to perk up once I began walking. "Sue, that was amazing! Have you ever been to one of these before?"

"Many times."

"They talked about the wolves? Wasn't it supposed to be a secret?"

"Not really. It was a secret of sorts, but it was…hidden in plain sight, I suppose you could say. We heard the legends, and assumed that some parts were metaphorical, or mythical, or just plain nonsense." She stopped at the edge of the road and we stood, waiting. "The legends have value apart from their literal truth. They give us an identity. They tell us about our history, and our understanding of who we are. Some of them teach us about our people's view of things, like the nature of good and evil. And some," she grinned suddenly, "are just fun."

I turned when I heard footsteps behind us, and saw Leah approaching. "I'll ride back with you," she said, and Sue nodded. I raised a hand to greet her, and she gave me a half smile.

The Blazer turned a corner, scattering dirt and gravel, and came to an abrupt stop a few feet from us. Leah and I climbed in the back and Sue sat in front, next to Seth. Seth made a U turn and started driving away from the beach. "Slow down," Sue said, in a quiet but decisive tone, and the car's speed decreased. "Bella was saying she liked the storytelling."

Seth turned to grin back at me. "It's cool, isn't it? I liked it even before I knew which parts were real."

"Seth went to his first story circle when he was just a baby," Sue told me. "I thought he'd fall asleep right away, but he sat there for almost two hours, his big eyes watching the speaker, listening as if he understood every word." She smiled fondly at Seth, who grinned back. "And Leah, when she was a little older, she'd listen without saying a word, then throw questions at me nonstop for the next two or three days."

Leah nodded. "So you didn't mind hearing all that?" she asked me.

"No! I loved it. It was really nice of Billy to let me attend."

"I think he wanted you to hear some of the legends in particular," Leah said. "The stories about the Cold Ones."

I grimaced. "Yeah, I should've known Billy would have an ulterior motive."

"I suppose those stories didn't faze you at all?" She shook her head. "Figures. I see a lot of girls who are the same way. Some boy shows an interest in them, and they lose their minds. School, work, family - nothing matters; they put everything in their life aside for _the guy_. Except, in your case, the things you overlook are a little more serious, aren't they?"

I'd already decided not to let Leah provoke me; but she had managed to hit on the one insult that would really sting. My mother, who rarely issued parental warnings, had cautioned me repeatedly against that kind of imbalance. I'd seen girls at school who lost interest in everything except their boyfriend. It was the last thing I ever expected to be accused of. I was definitely _not_ that girl! I was too hurt and angry to even reply. I just stared at Leah, my mouth open but no words coming out, my hands balled up into fists and furious tears stinging my eyes.

Of course, what made it worse is that her accusation contained a little bit of truth. I _was_ giving up my whole life for Edward - literally. I was leaving my parents and friends and mode of existence behind for him.

Leah saw my reaction, and her expression immediately changed. I half expected her to apologize, but before she could speak, Sue turned around to look at her. "Leah, you're out of line."

Their eyes met, and Leah looked away. "Sorry," she muttered.

"It's okay." I stared at my hands, feeling very uncomfortable.

Sue looked back at me. "Leah lost her own boyfriend a little while ago," she said. She didn't seem to be trying to embarrass Leah; she spoke sympathetically. "In a way that was really hard. It made her angry with everybody. She was mean to her brother, her friends. Now she's even being rude to guests. She's not like that most of the time." She gave her daughter an affectionate look.

I nodded. "I didn't think so."

Seth pulled over to let Sue get out of the car. "Thanks for everything, Sue," I said, not entirely clear myself on what I was referring to. "I guess…I'll see you at the house some time."

She nodded, smiling. "I guess. Good night." She looked briefly at her children, and went into the house.

"What are we doing now, exactly?" I asked, looking at my truck, parked outside the Clearwater house.

"Seth can drive this car, and I can ride in the truck with you." Leah glanced at me. "If that's okay. We'll take you back home, and if none of the…if nobody's there yet, we'll stand guard until they arrive."

I nodded, and climbed into the driver's seat of my pickup as Leah took the passenger seat. I drove toward the boundary line; but as I approached it, Leah tensed, staring through the windshield. "He's already here." She pointed to a spot just beside the road, some distance ahead. I could see Edward standing there, waiting, and my heart began to beat faster. I pulled over just outside the boundary line, and Seth stopped the Blazer directly behind. Leah got out quickly and joined Seth.

I climbed out of the truck and went back to the Blazer. "Thanks," I said to Seth, and leaned over to look through the window at Leah. "Thanks, Leah."

"No problem," Seth said, smiling. He waved at Edward through the windshield, turned the car and drove back the way he'd come.

I ran back to the truck, where Edward was waiting, and threw myself into his arms.


	19. Love and Death

"Edward," I sighed. The sunlight sparkled against his skin. It was impossibly bright, intense sunlight for Forks - more like a day in Phoenix. We were in our meadow, lying in the warm grass together. I watched the rainbow lights dance around Edward's face. He smiled and lowered his head to kiss my throat again, and my eyes drifted shut.

I tried to remember how we'd come to be in the meadow. I'd returned home from the party last night, woken Charlie who was asleep in his chair again, and sent him to bed. At Edward's diffident request, I'd showered and washed my hair because, as he informed me, I smelled strongly of werewolf. Then I'd slept, and somehow woken up in Edward's arms in an unusually warm and sunny meadow.

Edward began unfastening the buttons on my shirt, and I decided it didn't matter how I got there. It wasn't just the weather that was uncharacteristically warm. Edward was bolder than usual, a little less careful. I was enjoying it very much. "I love you, sweetheart," he whispered in my ear.

"I love you, too." I ran my fingers through his tousled hair. His kisses became warmer, his hands wandered, his sweet breath made my head swim. "Edward," I moaned at last, trying to remove his shirt. It slid away effortlessly, and I ran my hands over his perfect chest. "Please, could you…?

"What, love?" he murmured. His voice sounded oddly amused. "What do you want me to do?"

"Mm," I protested, trying to pull him closer. "_You_ know."

"Do I?" He was definitely trying to keep from laughing. He kept kissing my neck and shoulders, stroking his fingertips lightly up and down my back.

I moaned in frustration. "_Please_, Edward?"

"Please what, my love?" he asked. I growled impatiently, and he laughed.

"What's so funny?" I demanded. My annoyance woke me from my dream, and I found myself blinking into his beautiful golden eyes. There was no brilliant sun; the morning sky outside my bedroom window was overcast. The bedside clock read 9:17.

"I was just thinking," he said, "how difficult it must be for you sometimes, being so naturally passionate and at the same time so bashful." He went on gently stroking my back, which was…distracting. "It came as a surprise when you openly demanded your prenuptial privileges."

I avoided his eyes. "I felt so ridiculous," I said. "I just didn't know how to…"

"No, you misunderstand. You were utterly adorable; not to mention almost impossible to resist." He began kissing my throat again. "But it was obviously a daunting task for you." He chuckled. "You're even shy when you talk in your sleep."

I gulped. "Was I…"

"You were. What were you dreaming about?"

I could feel the blush starting. "We were in our meadow."

"It sounded as if we were very happy there." He found the sensitive place under my ear, and I shivered pleasantly.

"What did I say?"

"You've been pleading with me to pleasure you. Not in so many words, of course."

I hid my face against his shoulder. "Why didn't you?"

"I was waiting for you to wake up. Molesting you in your sleep didn't seem right, even if your subconscious _was_ issuing a clear invitation."

"I'm not asleep any more," I pointed out. He smiled, and finally accepted my invitation.

Later, dressed at last, I rummaged through the kitchen cupboards for breakfast. "We're out of cereal." I started a mental shopping list.

"Perhaps I should mention that the family is preparing lunch for you," he said.

I shut the cupboard door. "In that case, I'm skipping breakfast. They always make me these elaborate meals."

"I thought you enjoyed them."

"I do, and it's very nice of them, but they shouldn't have to worry about things like that right now, with this battle coming." I started chewing my lip.

"It's virtually no work at all, you realize. Besides, they take pleasure in feeding you. Especially Esme."

I nodded. It was true, and I had to get used to accepting their kindness without awkwardness. I was working on it. "What's happening today?"

"We're meeting with the werewolves once more, at two this afternoon. We'll be discussing the one area of strategy we haven't come to a conclusion about."

"What's that?"

"What to do with _you_ during the battle. By the way, the official story is that you're having a sleepover with Alice tomorrow night."

"It is?"

"Alice phoned Charlie last night, while you were at LaPush. He'll expect you to have been asked to stay overnight."

"Okay." I hadn't even thought of what to tell Charlie. "It's a good thing you're all on top of this."

He grinned. "You're not used to this level of subterfuge."

"I guess I'll _get _used to it."

His smile faded a little. "I suppose so."

We went to my truck, which Edward insisted on driving. "My truck must be growing on you," I teased.

"I wouldn't go that far. But driving it is less onerous since Rosalie worked on it."

"It was nice of her."

"Yes." He grimaced. "She took me to task, by the way, about my attempts to modify you to fit my own expectations."

"To _what_!"

"That's how she expressed it. It was _not _my intention. My taste in cars - or anything else - doesn't have to be yours, and if you love this abysmally ugly truck, then I'm determined to love it, too."

"Edward, that's…thank you!" I embraced him as well as I could without detaching the seat belt.

He kissed the top of my head. "Tell me more about yesterday's revelry. You fell asleep before you could tell me much last night, and this morning…"

"It was good," I said hastily. "Especially the story-telling circle they held, after the party was done." I described it to him.

"It sounds fascinating," he agreed. "And nobody gave you any difficulty?"

"No, they were all very nice. Billy didn't say a contrary word."

"What about Leah?" I looked at him in surprise. "When I arrived to meet you, her mind was on some conversation she'd had with you. She felt a little ashamed over the distress it caused you. When she saw I was there, her thoughts changed, so I wasn't able to grasp the content."

"It was nothing. She made some smart remark."

"In her mind, you appeared quite upset."

"Well…it was stupid of me to react like that, but she managed to pick the one criticism that would hit home." I quickly outlined our final conversation.

"_That's _what distresses you? Warnings against befriending the undead, accusations of treason against the human race, you laugh off; but schoolgirl barbs about being excessively attached to your boyfriend - _those_ cut you to the quick?"

"What can I say? I'm a product of my upbringing. Besides…"

"Yes?"

"I know their comments about you and your family aren't true. But what Leah said…well, it's hard to deny there's some truth to it."

"Yes, I see." He looked at me, touching my face gently. "At least the obsession is mutual."

Apart from the fact that the television was left on, tuned to a Seattle station, nothing in the Cullen household seemed to have been disrupted over the coming fight. Emmett and Rosalie greeted us from behind the front door, where they were taking turns throwing cards into a hat from a distance. "You slept in," Emmett remarked to me with a grin.

"I was out late at LaPush."

"Uh huh. I _thought_ maybe something kept you in bed longer than usual." He chuckled, and I felt my face turn red. No secrets in this family, Edward had said. Did they all know…?

Rosalie laughed with him. "Why shouldn't she _sleep in_ now that she has the opportunity? She's missed a lot of _sleep_ in the past year." She caught my eye and winked.

Before I could decide how to react, Alice ran up to me and grabbed my hand. "Come upstairs! I have something I want to show you." She dragged me up the staircase, pausing impatiently when I tripped, down the hallway and into her room. She took a length of fabric from a dresser drawer and held it up. "Silk noil," she said. "Isn't it gorgeous?"

"Um, yeah. It's a nice colour."

"Wedgwood blue," she said, draping the cloth over my shoulder and standing back to study the effect.

"What's it for?"

"For your wedding dress, silly! Or your informal substitute for a wedding dress. Look." She took out a large sheet of paper, showing three precise sketches of a dress, from front, back, and side. It had a fitted bodice with a wide portrait collar, and a slightly flared skirt. It was striking but simple, and bore no resemblance to any bridal wear I'd ever seen. Alice held the fabric next to the sketches. "What do you think?"

I stared at the picture and the fabric so long, she stamped her foot impatiently. I laughed. "I think…I t_hink_ I can imagine myself getting married in this."

Alice clapped her hands gleefully and stashed the sketches and the blue silk in a drawer. She seemed to listen momentarily. "She could still change her mind," she said, to the empty air. I realized she was replying to something said by a person or persons on the ground floor. She listened again, and giggled. "_That _should be fun." I raised my eyebrows at her. "Buying lingerie for the honeymoon," she explained. "Rose wants to be in on it."

"Oh!" I started to reply, then stopped. I felt hampered by the knowledge that every word I said could be heard throughout the house. Alice watched my face a moment, then unexpectedly opened her bedroom window. "Come with me." Before I could reply, she picked me up, carried me out the window, and jumped. I was too surprised even to scream.

Once on the ground, she slung me onto her back. "Hang on," she said, and darted off without further warning. I clung to her tiny frame, feeling as if I were riding a miniature rocking horse that travelled at 400 miles per hour. She stopped almost immediately, and let me drop to the ground, catching me when I staggered.

"What was that all about?" I demanded.

"Sorry. I thought we should get out of hearing range for a minute."

I looked back at the house. We were at the edge of the property, close to where the forest began. "_Are_ we out of hearing range?"

She grinned. "Yep. So speak freely." She walked slowly across the grounds, and I fell into step beside her.

"What am I supposed to say?"

She tilted her head, seeming to sort things out in her mind. "I'm not completely sure. I'm just piecing bits of vision together. I saw your future blinking back and forth, with you trying to ask me about things, and not doing it because the others were around. The lingerie party idea made it come into focus. So what's the problem? Is it literally an underwear thing, or are we getting into the birds and the bees?" I snorted, at once amused and embarrassed. "Bella," she said patiently, "just spit it out. I'm your friend."

I took a deep breath. "Okay, well, Emmett and Rosalie were making jokes about…Edward and me when I came in. Is that going to be a regular thing?"

She screwed up her face. "From Emmett, it will be. He never gets tired of making what you might call honeymoon jokes. He's left you alone until now." She left the implication hanging there.

"So, what? Does everybody…know every single thing Edward and I do in private?" I felt horrified at the possibility.

"No, sweetie, of course not. We just have a general idea that your relationship's, er, gone through some changes recently."

"How? Edward wouldn't have said anything."

"No, he wouldn't. Well…Jasper more or less knew, because he could pick up your mood when you and Edward were here together. You both just _exuded_ lust all the time. Then, after your sleepover, your mood was...modified. Jazz drew the obvious conclusion, and mentioned it to the rest of us."

"Great," I moaned.

"Bella, it's not like that. We're just happy for you both." She studied me a moment. "You mentioned before that the lack of privacy would be the hardest thing for you, when you come to live with us. We all look forward to the day you move in with us, and nobody wants you to feel uncomfortable here." She stopped at a fallen log, and waved me onto the seat, perching beside me.

I sighed. "Look, probably it's me. I had trouble talking about this stuff with my own mother, even when it was just theoretical. I can't imagine ever getting used to all this _sharing_. And what about Carlisle and Esme?" I said, my face burning. "I'd hate to think they disapprove of me now. They're sort of religious, and old-fashioned. They probably think I'm some kind of floozy."

She laughed merrily at that. "Bella, I think you're mistaking our cover story for reality. Carlisle and Esme aren't actually our parents, remember; and we aren't actually their underaged children."

"Well…right, but they might still disapprove. Carlisle and Esme were both born so long ago - different standards, and so forth."

"Jazz and I were born a long time ago, too."

"Um…yeah, I guess that's true." Somehow it didn't seem to apply to Alice in the same way. Maybe I _was _thinking of Carlisle and Esme as parents.

She was still smiling broadly. "Okay, you have to understand something. Most of us - our kind - don't ever get married. It's just not done. It wouldn't even be feasible, really, especially for nomads. Carlisle wanted to formally marry Esme, and the rest of us followed their example; but we're the rare exceptions. I won't even get into the X-rated subject of our Alaskan cousins - let's save _that _story for the long winter nights.

"Before Jasper and I came here, we lived together like any vampire mates. We continued to live here for years before we decided to have a wedding of sorts. Carlisle and Esme never showed the slightest shadow of disapproval.

"For that matter, I gather Rose and Emmett anticipated their own official honeymoon by over a year. They got married mostly because Rosalie loved the idea of a wedding. I think she always felt deprived because she didn't get her big white wedding when she was human, so now she has one every few years. But again, there was no disapproval of their being together before their first wedding, except that they kept wrecking walls and furniture." She snickered. "They still do sometimes, the randy little hooligans!

"I'm not sure about Carlisle and Esme," she said thoughtfully. "Edward was the only one present when they first got together, and he's keeping those details to himself; but Esme _was_ living with them for almost two years before their wedding took place."

"That all seems very…modern."

"Like I said, we don't usually go by human standards. Edward maintains pretty lofty ideals in that department, but only for himself, not for other people. I guess he changed his mind - or _you_ got him to waive the rules." She gave me an impish look, and I couldn't help laughing.

"Partly." She looked at me inquisitively. "He says some things are too dangerous for now," I explained, embarrassed.

"Hmm. He's probably right. Anyway, floozy behaviour is the norm for us. That part of our nature tends to be enhanced. You'll see."

"Okay, I understand," I said, "but couples get _some _privacy, don't they? Even in this family?"

"Oh, sure. We all know each other's business, but not in detail; just in a general way. What happens behind closed doors is officially private; but we're all involved in anything that affects the happiness of the other family members."

"Right." A previous comment of hers suddenly caught up with me. "Wrecking walls and furniture?"

She laughed. "The first few years especially, they left a trail of destruction wherever they went."

"But...Emmett's so huge! Could Rosalie get hurt?"

Her smile became pensive. "Bella, it's not Emmett who's responsible for it."

It took me a second. "_Rosalie_?"

"Sure. You know about her past, right? What those men did to her?" I nodded. "She told me that sometimes, being a little bit...violent helps her to function. It helped her feel like she was safe and in control, especially when she and Emmett were first together. It's her way of coping. Understand?"

"Yes. Oh, poor Rosalie! I'm glad that works for her. So nobody minds her wrecking things, I imagine."

"Not at all." She grinned. "Do you realize that you've been standing here discussing the sex life of another family member?"

"Oh!" I blushed. "I didn't really think about..."

"No, of course not. Because the reason we're even talking about it is because it relates to Rosalie's overall well being."

"Okay," I said, "I see your point."

"I thought you would. I can only tell you the same thing Jasper said before: it's not meant to be intrusive, only friendly and concerned. And you get used to it faster than you could imagine. You know, I wish you would…" She hesitated. "I don't want to be too pushy."

"Since when?" She laughed, and I joined in. "Go ahead, Alice."

"Well, part of being a Cullen is accepting this level of intimacy within the family. We have nobody else to rely on except each other. We not only keep each other safe, we guard each other's happiness and comfort. It's really _nice_."

"I know. I mean, I can see that."

"Yes, but you're still holding back. I can see you love us all like family - and Jasper can feel it for himself - but you don't quite let yourself be part of it. There's this invisible wall." She shrugged. "Do you know what I mean?"

I gulped, thinking of how aloof I was with Sue; how Charlie and I could never talk openly with each other; how I always seemed to be the outside observer in any group of friends. "Actually - I do. I know exactly. I don't mean to be like that, but I'm not sure how to stop."

She smiled sympathetically. "Esme thinks you're just insecure. Maybe it'll get better once you're living with us. The whole family loves you to pieces - even Rose, most of the time; that has to help break down the barriers, right?"

"Yeah. I hope so." Maybe that was something I should work on, before… I kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks, Alice." I recalled something she'd said earlier. "What did you mean by 'she might change her mind'?"

"Oh, that!" She laughed. "Rosalie can't believe you don't want to go for the white satin and orange blossoms. She thinks you must be giving it up out of some kind of misguided self-denial. I'm not entirely sure, myself."

"Trust me, it's no sacrifice."

"Fair enough." She stood up. "Ready to go back?"

"Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Yes. And, not that I mind running you out into the forest to chat, but I hope you'll get used to talking freely in the house. We all need totally private conversations once in a while, but it's rare. Most of the time we talk openly. Brace yourself," she added, and I thought she was referring to the full disclosure policy until I was suddenly thrown over her shoulders and propelled upwards and through a second storey window. I was set down on the floor of Alice's room. "Ready?" she asked, leading me to the stairs.

Edward stood at the staircase as we descended, looking concerned.

"We were talking wedding dresses. I didn't want you seeing the design in advance," Alice told him.

Emmett switched to teasing me about the upcoming wedding. Determined to be less reserved with my new family, I accepted his joking, and even teased him in return, about having been married so often to the same woman.

At noon, I was invited to come into the kitchen for lunch. Esme and Edward had made lobster bisque.

At 1:45 we ran, with me perched on Edward's back, to a remote spot. a rocky bluff hidden in the trees. Edward explained that we were meeting in a more isolated spot than usual, because it was day and humans might be around. We stood and waited only a few seconds before Sam appeared, then Seth, Quil and Paul. They took their places, as usual, an unfriendly distance from the Cullens. "Just the four of us today," Sam explained.

"Jacob wanted to come," Seth said, "but his dad grounded him."

"I'm not surprised," I said, and Seth chuckled. Sam turned expectantly to Carlisle.

"Thank you for meeting with us once again," Carlisle said. "We have to finalize the plans for tomorrow night. Specifically, how we will keep Bella safe during the encounter. We would appreciate your help."

"Getting her as far away as possible seems like the safest option," Quil said.

"Normally it would be," Carlisle agreed, "but the circumstances in this case are peculiar." He glanced at Jasper.

"The trouble, as we now realize, is that Bella is the focus of the entire attack," Jasper said. "We can't remove her from the battle, because wherever Bella goes _is_ the site of the battle. The newborns will follow her scent."

"So what do we do?" Paul asked. "Have her there with us in the middle of the fight?"

Jasper glanced at Edward. "Oddly enough, that is the safest place she can be. She can only be protected if we - by which I mean all of us," he said, his gesture including the four pack members, "stay close to her. If she is away from us, there is no building that can shelter her when the newborns arrive. That means she has to stay with us, lure the newborns here, and allow us to dispatch them as they arrive."

"Can we really hold them off, all of them at once?" Sam asked. "I mean, if even one of them gets to her for half a second, it's all over. Uh, sorry, Bella," he added, glancing my way. I smiled weakly at him.

Jasper nodded. "Yes, it's possible; but it means Bella's situation has to inform our entire battle strategy." He turned to me with a half grin. "You asked me if chess was really like war. Well, _this_ battle has one feature in common with chess: the game is centred around protecting a single piece: the king. Or in this case, the queen." He looked back at Sam. "We have to choose our battlefield on the basis of how easily we can protect Bella in that location. We have to allow defensive considerations to take precedence throughout the battle, and be prepared to remove Bella from the site at a moment's notice. _You_," he said solemnly to the Quileute, "must be prepared to abandon the fight, lose it or even flee from it, if Bella's safety becomes compromised. I realize that is contrary to your nature, but we can't afford to take chances."

"We can manage that," Sam agreed.

"If you don't mind my asking," Quil put in, "since you know exactly when this army is going to show up, why don't you just put Bella on a plane to…wherever, someplace very far away, until the danger is over?"

"That idea appeals to me very much," Edward answered. "Unfortunately, it would only be a temporary solution. The maker of this army is determined; she has worked patiently toward this attack for months. The army would wait until Bella returned, and try again - and the next time, we might not be as well prepared.

'For that matter, Victoria might manage to follow Bella to her hiding place, no matter how remote, and attack while all or most of us are away. She is incredibly resourceful. This is an opportunity to deal with her army while we have a fairly clear idea of what to expect. And, of course, while we have your help."

"And the longer we delay," Esme added quietly, "the more damage this army does. They've already killed dozens of innocent people in Seattle. We shouldn't let it go on any longer than we can help."

"No, I see that," Quil mumbled.

They discussed locations, finally settling on the clearing where the Cullens had once taken me to watch their baseball game. I was to be placed in the centre of the clearing, out in the open, while the battle took place around me. Images of the newborn wars from Jasper's history, details of the newborns' uncontrolled, savage nature, kept going through my head. I tried to repress these mental pictures. I could do nothing to help Edward, help all of them, during this fight except sit still and be brave, and I was determined to do it.

My fear suddenly dissipated. I was startled by my abruptly calm state of mind, until I saw Jasper looking at me. I was embarrassed, but remembered that this was part of how my new family helped each other. Something I'd promised myself to be more open to. _Thanks_, I mouthed, and Jasper winked and returned his attention to the discussion.

"Hold on," Paul said as the planning concluded. "You said the army would find Bella by scent, right? What if there was a way to mask her scent?"

"I doubt that would be possible," Carlisle said.

"What about us? Bella told Jake our scent is really strong to you, really nasty. Could you smell Bella if she was around a bunch of us?"

"Possibly not,' Carlisle said cautiously, "but how could that help us?"

Paul looked quite excited by his own idea. "We let Bella walk to wherever you want the battle to take place, establish a scent trail. Then one of us - better still, six or seven of us - carry her to another location. Would they be able to find her?"

Carlisle looked at the others. "I don't think they would," Edward said slowly, "but we would have to give the method a dry run first. We would need to be certain."

Jasper shook his head. "It would mean decreasing our numbers for the actual battle. Bella would still have to be under guard."

"Oh!" Edward said suddenly. "Yes, that's true." He nodded to Seth. "Interesting!"

"Something you'd like to share with the rest of the class?" Alice murmured.

"Seth had an idea." Edward nodded his way, and Seth gestured to go ahead and speak. "If any one or more of the…wolves were to remain with Bella, the rest of the pack would instantly be aware of any danger. Provided she was close enough to reach quickly, she would be under reliable surveillance and within seconds of help, without sacrificing a large number to guard duty."

We all looked at Jasper, who mused a moment. "Would you be willing to test your theory now?"

Sam shrugged. "Why not?"

"Bella?" Carlisle looked over at me.

"Sure. Whatever makes this work better is fine with me."

Jasper pointed out a far off area of high ground I'd never been near, and that was made our target. "That should be sufficient," Edward said. "No one could pick up Bella's scent at this distance if there was no trail to follow."

"Good," Sam said. "Just give us a second." The four of them ran off into the trees, and a moment later four immense wolves emerged and stood a few yards away.

"Bella?" Edward touched my shoulder gently. "Are you all right with this?"

"Sure," I said, as confidently as possible. "What do I have to do, walk alongside them?"

"No," he said. "They want to cover your trail as thoroughly as possible. You'll ride one of them."

"'There was a young lady from Niger...'," Rosalie quoted drily.

"They're not tigers, and I won't be smiling," I said. "Okay. Riding. Fine."

"Quil will carry you." He kissed my forehead gently. "They want you to retrace your steps for a distance. They'll follow a path that crosses yours. At that point, you'll, er, climb aboard, hanging on tightly, and Sam, Paul, Quil, and Seth will travel together to the target area. Taking great care as they go," he added, "not to let you fall."

One of the wolves gave a grunting sound and looked at Edward. "Please do," Edward said. "You can hardly overestimate Bella's capacity for falling from things." Several of the Cullens laughed.

I started trudging back the way I'd come, taking care not to trip, until I was some distance away. I turned as the wolves came trotting toward me. They paused as they reached me and a dark brown wolf crouched on the ground next to me. I gingerly climbed astride its back, and it slowly stood up. I put my arms tightly around its neck and held on to fistfuls of shaggy brown fur. "Am I hurting you?" I asked, and the wolf swayed its head from side to side. A very large, entirely black wolf looked at me, and I nodded. "Okay. Ready when you are."

They started walking, then sped into a trot, moving together with a wolf in front of Quil and one on each side. Their gait was smooth, not like the trotting of a horse, and I managed to stay in my seat without much trouble. At one point they all broke into a run, moving almost as fast as Edward did when he ran with me, and I held on desperately until they slowed again a minute later. They arrived at the small clearing, and the brown wolf lay carefully on the ground to let me dismount.

I looked around, but I could see nothing but trees in every direction. There was no trace of the Cullens anywhere. "Where are they?" I asked. The black wolf looked in what I thought was a westerly direction. "I can't see them. Can they see us from there?" The wolf shook its head no. The others joined him, facing west and occasionally sniffing the air, until at some unheard signal they began to move again. The Quil-wolf crouched to the ground again, looking at me expectantly, and I got on its back. They ran all the way, and reached the meeting place in no time.

I jumped off the brown wolf before it could crouch down again, and dropped to the ground. I hurried back to Edward, who was standing near the others a few yards away. I noticed several of them shift away from me, and realized I must smell strongly of wolf. "Sorry," I said. "I'll have to change these clothes when I get home."

"Throwing them away might be better," Rosalie muttered.

The four wolves ran off together into the forest. "Where are they going?" I asked Edward.

"To change form, so they can speak with us again."

"Why do they have to go away to do it?"

"They have to undress before they take on wolf form," he explained. "Otherwise they burst through their clothing and tear it to shreds."

"Oh, right. That's the problem with the Hulk."

"Excuse me?" Edward looked at me in puzzlement.

"The Incredible Hulk tears right through his clothes when he changes to the Hulk, except for the top half of his pants. Those stay intact. It's kind of unrealistic." Emmett thought that was hysterical.

The four pack members reappeared. "So?" Sam asked. "What's the verdict?"

"It works perfectly," Edward said. "Bella's scent was completely obscured."

"It's an ideal plan," Jasper agreed, "except for one thing. At least one of you will have to skip the battle and remain with Bella."

"Two would be better, I think," Sam said. "Bella is the weak link here."

"Agreed," Carlisle said. "I'll leave it to you to choose the two in whatever way you find appropriate."

They talked a few minutes more about the battle plan before Sam and the others left, and the Cullens headed back home. I was distracted. Something had occurred to me, and it had me fighting panic. I would be at a distance from the fight, but Edward would be leaving me to head straight into the middle of it.

We'd barely entered the house when Jasper turned on me. "What is it, Bella? Are you that afraid of the werewolves?"

The others stopped short and looked at me.

Edward was instantly at my side. "They honestly don't mean you any harm, love. I know they must look alarming, but…"

"No! Of course I'm not afraid of them! I just rode one bareback several miles through the woods, didn't I?" I was a little sharp because of my embarrassment. I hated drawing attention.

Emmett laughed. "Hi ho, Silver!"

I reminded myself to let the walls down; this was something the family would need to know. "Why would you think that?" I asked more calmly.

"You keep moving to the edge of genuine panic," Jasper said. "I assumed it was related to the werewolves."

"What is it, Bella?" Carlisle asked. "You'll be safely away from the battle."

"There she goes again," Jasper said.

"It's nothing," I said. "I'm just being silly."

Alice nudged me. "'Fess up, Bella."

"It's just that I thought I'd be there when the fight happened. Now I'll be far away, where I can't even see it."

"Hold on," Emmett said. "You're afraid to be _away_ from the battle?"

"No,' I said, blushing. "I'm afraid to stay away while Edward goes into it. I know it's crazy, but when I think about staying behind while I watch him go away to fight, I…" I glanced at Jasper. "I get…like that."

"Oh!" Alice said. "Really?" She looked at Jasper.

"It's _serious_ panic," Jasper said. "It completely overrides any normal fear of the newborn attack."

Carlisle was studying me closely. "Fascinating."

"What is?" I asked, confused.

"Remember what we talked about that night in Port Angeles?" Alice said. "You're reacting like a vampire."

"Again?" I asked. They all laughed. "So…does that mean I can stay with the rest of you?"

There was a moment's hesitation. "Bella," Carlisle said, "I have every sympathy for your distress, but the plan we worked out today is so much safer, so much less subject to unforeseen mishaps, that I am extremely reluctant to abandon it."

"It's too much of a risk, love," Edward said gently. "It won't be for long."

I looked at him. "I don't know if I _can_. It's like…when you left me in the woods, last September. I'm sorry," I said as I saw the pain in his expression. "I know it doesn't make sense to react this way. I know you're not leaving forever. I'm just afraid that once you're away, I'll forget what I'm doing, and try to follow you."

Edward rubbed my arm soothingly, his face tight with stress. "Bella…if we have a way to keep you safe during this, how can we not use it?"

"Keeping me there during the battle was the plan, until this afternoon. You must have thought it was safe _enough_."

Edward's hand tightened on my shoulder. "I could stay with her," he said to the others.

Emmett looked startled. "Ditch the fight?"

Carlisle seemed to be communicating something silently. Edward's jaw tightened. I fought with myself, knowing I should refuse to let him stay behind, knowing I was being incredibly selfish, but unable to turn down the chance to avoid seeing him walk into this fight while I stayed behind.

"I don't know how that would change the outcome," Alice said. "Too many wolves everywhere. I wish I could _see!_"

"Bella _could_ simply be brought to the site as planned," Jasper said. "The wolves could make her stay there if she tried to leave." He caught Edward's glare. "I'm sorry, but it is a consideration."

"We can't force her," Edward said.

"No," Rosalie said, "but she can force _herself_. And she will, if she understands what's at stake." She turned to me. "Bella, we can't take any risks with your life if there's any other option. Edward wouldn't survive if you were killed. You'd destroy him." I blinked at the harsh words. "And having you with us during this fight makes it harder for us. We'd have to worry about protecting you as well as each other. Edward would be distracted, and possibly be more careless with his own safety as a result. You need to do your part to protect _our_ family. Can you suffer through an hour of panic, to help all of us?"

"Rosalie…" Edward began angrily, but she snapped, "Shut up, Edward. I know how she feels as well as you do; but it's a fair assessment."

I wrestled with the question a moment. I couldn't do it, I told myself. But I knew that I could, if I absolutely had to. It would be awful, but I could get through it. I'd got through worse. And…my family needed me.

"Sure," I said. My voice sounded strained even to myself. "No problem."

Emmett snorted. "Rosie has _you_ pegged, doesn't she?"

Edward put an arm around me. "I'm so sorry, love. It'll be over quickly."

I nodded, feeling oddly calm and composed. I looked over at Jasper. "Is this your doing?"

"Yes," he said, "but I left you alone while you were deciding."

"Fair enough." I sighed. "I should get home. I have to fix Charlie's dinner."

"Take the rest of your lobster soup home with you, dear," Esme said. "I'll wrap it up for you."

"Thanks, Esme." I remembered the wolf factor. "Not to mention scrub myself down and wash these clothes."

"_You_ don't notice the werewolf smell yourself, do you?" Alice asked.

"Me? No, I can't smell anything out of the ordinary."

"Just checking. I thought maybe your nose was reacting like a vampire's too."


	20. Lead Time

We used the two car method once again for getting me home: Edward beside me in the truck, Emmett following in the Volvo supposedly to drive Edward back home. Charlie was impressed.

"Not everybody would give you the escort home," he observed as the Volvo drove away. "Especially in broad daylight. They'd let you get yourself home."

"I offered to drive myself." I was glad Charlie had started to mellow on the subject of Edward. "Would you mind soup for dinner?"

"No, that's fine."

I started making biscuits to go with the lobster bisque, and Charlie hung around the kitchen a while, trying to make conversation.

"Have a good day?"

"Oh, sure. I slept in late, then went and hung out at the Cullens' for a while. How was your day?"

"Slow. All I got was a vandalism. High school's out, and all kids can find to do is spray paint things."

"Well, don't look at me. I haven't been tagging walls, even if school _is_ out."

He chuckled. "I knew it wasn't you. There were three words spelled wrong."

I grinned back at him. "Oh, Alice asked if I could go for a sleepover tomorrow night."

"Right, Esme phoned about that. I guess the guys are going camping or something. Sure, that's fine." He sounded a little too casual.

"I can fix dinner ahead and leave it for you."

"Uh, no, that's okay.' He was definitely making an effort to sound nonchalant. "I'll be having dinner over at the Clearwaters' anyway."

I nodded, keeping a poker face as I turned back to my biscuits and Charlie went off to watch television. He'd said _the Clearwaters_, plural, but I knew for a fact that Seth and Leah would also be away at their own sleepover, or whatever other cover story was in place. Charlie and Sue would have a night to themselves. I was glad that they, at least, would be happy while this horrible war was going on not far from them. Then I stopped thinking about it, because there was no way I wanted _that _in my head.

I talked with Charlie a little bit at dinner, and even watched baseball with him for a while, before going up to my room. I showered and changed, then settled down with _The Heir of Redclyffe_. The hero reminded me a little bit of Edward, and I was trying to place exactly why. I heard Charlie come upstairs, run the water in the bathroom, and go into his own room. Edward didn't show up until I was sound asleep, and I only woke long enough to take in his presence and snuggle into his arms before falling back to sleep again.

I woke after Charlie had left for the day, and Edward and I _slept in_ once again. We lay together afterward, just holding each other, slipping a blanket between us when I started to shiver. "Are they expecting you at home?"

"No, there's nothing further we can do until tonight." He was stroking my hair, watching my face in apparent fascination.

"What are they doing this morning?"

"Spending time together." He kissed me softly. "Much the same way we are."

"Oh!"

"The couples taking extra time alone usually precedes every significant event. It's an unspoken tradition. It's been that way since there _was_ a couple in the family - since Carlisle found Esme."

"What did _you_ do before significant events?"

He smiled wryly. "Play music; read; study whatever language I was working on. Anything to keep my mind occupied. I wanted to avoid picking up anyone's thoughts during those times. Sometimes I would just leave the house for a while."

"I hate that you were alone so long." I touched his face, brushing a lock of hair away from his forehead. "I wish I'd been with you from the beginning."

"You're here now. That makes up for anything and everything."

Late morning we left the bed, showered together, dressed and went downstairs. I made brunch for myself, and we sat and talked, in a comfortably random way. I asked him questions about the music on his 1967 disc, which seemed to include, among other things, a track of Jimi Hendrix alternately playing complex and fascinating snatches of guitar music, and ranting incoherently. Edward confirmed that he'd managed to catch Hendrix backstage at a club in New York City just after a performance.

"Did he always sound this crazy?" I asked.

"Not at all. I recorded him just after he'd dropped acid." He chuckled at the expression on my face. "The interesting thing, to me at least, is that his musical skill wasn't diminished in the slightest, even though he couldn't form an intelligible sentence."

I asked for more details of his life in the early days of this existence, when he'd lived with Carlisle, and about the places he'd travelled with his family. Then we planned for future trips we would take together, once my newborn phase was over.

We even talked a little bit about our upcoming wedding, and without much distress on my part.

In the afternoon, Edward suggested that it was time to rejoin the family and make any final preparations for the coming night. I left a note for Charlie and headed for my truck. This time, Edward suggested I drive. "Don't be alarmed if I suddenly jump out the cab window," he said as we started off.

"No," I said evenly. "Of course not. Why would that alarm me?"

He laughed. "If we are about to encounter Charlie - or anyone you know - I'll make myself scarce. I shouldn't be seen riding in the truck with you. I'm supposed to be off somewhere, camping, remember?"

"Oh, that's right." I was still not that good at subterfuge. It required such a perfect memory, for one thing.

As we turned up the long drive leading to the house, something seemed to land on the hood of my truck. I slammed on the brakes, and found a pixie face smiling at me through the windshield. "Alice! You scared me half to death!"

"Sorry!" She hopped off, landing gracefully by my open window. "Just coming ahead to greet you." Jasper appeared at her side.

"Is everyone, er, presentable?" Edward asked.

"Rose and Emmett are still upstairs. Jasper wanted to get out of the house."

Edward nodded sympathetically. Jasper and Alice perched, standing, on the hood of the car as I drove it the rest of the way, and I nervously inched along, even though I knew a fall wouldn't hurt them. Alice pretended to be thrown violently from the truck hood when I stopped. "You're in a good mood," I remarked, and heard her piping laugh as she leapt back out of the shrubbery where she'd faked a fall.

Carlisle and Esme were standing together, talking quietly and laughing, when we came in, and Rosalie and Emmett flitted down the stairs a few minutes later. They _all_ seemed to be in a good mood, and I wondered aloud how they could be so cheerful with the fight looming.

"Because it'll be fun!" Emmett said. "And because we're sure we won't lose." I rolled my eyes in exasperation.

"We're especially confident because Alice has been able to see the outcome to some extent," Jasper added.

I looked at Alice in surprise. "You have? I thought you couldn't see anything the werewolves were involved with."

She grinned. "I found a window. I've been trying to see the aftermath of the fight, and it's a blank. Everybody's future disappears once those mutts are involved." She grimaced irritably. "So I looked at things that weren't directly connected, but which would give me an idea of what the outcome was."

"Such as?"

"Well, I'd look at Charlie's future, for example. Two days after the fight, he's in a good mood, going to work and visiting friends. Did you know he was dating the mother of two of the werewolves, by the way?"

"Sue Clearwater. Yeah, I knew."

They looked at me in surprise. "And you didn't think to mention it?" Rosalie said.

"It didn't occur to me," I said. "Is it important?"

"Probably not," Jasper said, "but any information relating to the werewolves might turn out to be useful."

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to keep it a secret or anything."

"It's quite all right, Bella," Carlisle told me.

"So," I said to Alice, "you saw Charlie doing well. What does that tell you?"

"He wouldn't be that way if you'd been killed in the fight, obviously. His future tells me _your_ future is fine."

"Okay, but what about the rest of you? You still can't see how all of _you _were doing after the fight." I felt the panic starting again. Just the possibility that Edward wouldn't come back from the battle…

"Calm down, Bella," Jasper said.

"_Make_ me," I muttered. Everyone laughed, and I felt my fear dissipate.

"Bella, we've told you and _told_ you that we're in no real danger here," Alice said. "_You're_ the only one who's at risk. If I can see you safe a day or two after the attack, we know everything's going to be fine."

We spent the afternoon just hanging out, as if nothing unusual were going on. Esme took me outside to show me her garden, which was in full bloom by this time. It was arranged in three concentric half-circles, beginning close to the house with a tidy bed of small, old fashioned flowers, like pansies and forget-me-not, small wooden benches and a narrow flagstone path; expanding into a traditional English country garden filled with climbing roses, clematis, foxgloves and ox-eye daisies; and ending with a managed version of the surrounding woods, with wood-chip paths winding through an artful tangle of native wildflowers, shrubs, ferns and vines. From there, it gave way to the actual wilderness, the forest that surrounded the big white house.

It was beautiful, and the most peaceful place I'd ever been in, and I told Esme so.

"Thank you, Bella. I've always found gardens very soothing to the spirit. Did you and your mother keep a garden?"

"No, it didn't seem feasible in Arizona. I had an aloe vera plant in my room; that was as far as my gardening experience goes."

While I admired, she asked me a little about my home in Arizona, and reminisced about my arrival here and my early encounters with Edward. "We were worried, of course; it would have been terrible if Edward had lost control while he was with you. Even if he kept you safe, we weren't sure what could come of such a relationship. But I must admit, I mostly felt overjoyed that Edward had finally found someone he could love. He'd been alone for such a long time, poor boy. And I'm so glad it was _you _he found - someone with a heart as true as his own."

I looked down, embarrassed, and pretended to examine one of Esme's roses.

"I know you don't like it when people praise you, dear. But you should know how grateful we all are that you're with us now."

"Thank you, Esme. You _know_ I'm just incredibly happy that you're going to be my family." She dimpled. To change the subject, I said, "Carlisle was alone even longer than Edward, wasn't he?"

She looked a little sad. "Yes; for centuries, and without even a friend he could speak openly with. You know how he met Edward, of course?"

"Yes." On his deathbed. I hated to think of it, of Edward's suffering, and of how close I had come to never knowing him.

"And then, Carlisle found me again, and took me into the family." She sighed. "Poor Edward had only one friend in the world. I'm afraid he must have felt a little left out when I came to live with Carlisle. At least the rest of the family joined us before long."

"Sorry, but did you say Carlisle found you _again_?"

"Oh, yes. We had met once before, when I was sixteen. I'd fallen while climbing a tree, and my parents took me to see the nearest doctor. Doctor Cullen was a very kind person, and he spoke with me while he was setting my broken leg. I felt the strangest connection to him, even though we only knew each other very briefly. For years afterward, I felt as if I was waiting for…someone like him. Waiting for _him_, if I was honest with myself. The feeling lasted even after I was married. I thought it was foolish of me.

"But I found out, after Carlisle saved me from death, that he'd felt the same way. He went away, believing he had no right to even express his feelings, to interfere in my human life. When he found me in the hospital morgue, barely alive, he changed me without hesitation. He'd been waiting for me, too."

I stared at her. "I had no idea you knew Carlisle when you were still human. Then you can understand how I feel about Edward, better than anyone."

She touched my face tenderly. "I think I can." She smiled. "It made me believe in fate. The chances of our ever meeting agin, much less Carlisle moving to Wisconsin and becoming a surgeon at the very hospital I was brought after my fall...well, it was more than coincidental." I nodded. "You know, Edward thinks it was in the stars that he meet you when we came back to Forks."

"That sounds like Edward," I said, smiling back.

"Yes, he's a born romantic."

"At least you all used your real names this time, so I didn't have to be re-introduced," I joked, remembering Edward's explanation of their regular identity changes.

"It's funny about that," Esme said thoughtfully. "It's been many years since we used our real names outside the family. We chose to do that because Alice had some vague presentiment that it would be a good idea. She wasn't even sure why, but we rarely go against Alice's advice. Jasper had to produce a new set of papers for everyone. I'm glad; it meant being able to meet you as our true selves."

I thought about the set of circumstances that led to my meeting Edward: Mom remarrying, resulting in me moving back in with Charlie, just as the Cullens decided to return to Forks using their true identities. I reminded myself that I didn't believe in fate.

We returned to the house, where ordinary activities were going on. Jasper and Alice were playing speed chess while Emmett and Rosalie sat together at the computer, studying something and occasionally bursting into laughter. Edward played the piano quietly while Carlisle and Esme sat and talked with me. Esme told me what she remembered about her life in Ohio, and the brief, happy time she spent teaching school in Wisconsin, after running away from her abusive husband. "It was a very shocking thing I was doing, of course. I felt I was justified, but it still seemed rather sordid. I knew people wouldn't approve if they knew." I looked at her, dumbfounded, and she smiled at my expression. "It was the way people thought then, sweetheart."

"We are all influenced by the time in which we lived," Carlisle said. "That is more noticeable for us than for humans. Time passes and attitudes change around us, while we retain most of our original way of thinking. We are capable of changing our opinions, of course, and often do; but we never truly change our outlook."

I nodded; I'd had this explained to me before. "It's funny, none of you seem particularly old fashioned, except maybe Edward."

"We adapt our outward behaviour and appearance to the time we live in, just as humans do," Carlisle said. "The only difference is that some of us have adapted to a century or more of change, instead of a few years. And we do change our ideas when change seems reasonable to us. I, for example, am not condemned to practice medicine based on the four humours or follow the social precepts of my youth, but I will always retain the essential world view I acquired in the seventeenth century."

"Edward's differences may be more apparent to you," Esme suggested, "since you know his character more intimately."

"He's still the same zealous would-be recruit," Rosalie remarked from the far side of the room, "ready to fall on a grenade to save his comrades. You can see it in his decision to leave last September. His time must have been big on duty and self-sacrifice."

"Yes, I think it was," Carlisle said, taking Rosalie's sarcasm as a serious observation. "The Edwardian period was the last hurrah of the Victorian. It was the final effort, and failure, of a grand social experiment - or so I perceive it."

"Really? I only hear Victorian times mentioned as repressive, puritanical, kind of intolerant."

He chuckled. "I find it odd to hear that. I lived through a period that was truly puritanical and intolerant. Individual and family life were scrutinized by the authorities. During my youth, not only was the theatre banned, but Christmas celebrations were rigidly suppressed."

"Wow!"

"Cromwell," he said succinctly, in the same tone I'd heard people use when referring to incompetent members of municipal government.

"But it doesn't seem like you were influenced by that."

"I believe it had the effect of making me resistant to any effort to force or coerce morality; and in fact to any misuse of power."

"That makes sense." I thought of the contrast between the absolute acceptance of Carlisle's position as head of the family, and the restraint with which he used his authority.

"As for the Victorian era, no doubt it had those qualities to some extent. I was thinking more of the intentions behind it, which were fundamentally noble. As a temporal outsider who once passed through the Victorian and Edwardian eras, I think it is crucial to understand 'the importance of being earnest'."

I blinked. "What? The play?"

He and Esme laughed. "No, although I was making a reference to it. The title of the play alluded to a feature of Victorian thought - in a satirical way, of course. Earnestness was perhaps the most distinctively Victorian - and therefore Edwardian - value. Hidebound though the Victorians might seem to you, they made a sincere attempt to make honesty and virtue both genuine and universal.

"You see, in every time since the medieval, there has been an understanding about virtue. It was to be respected and practiced, but there were always concessions made. Concessions to human weakness, and concessions to status and authority. For example, in even the most strait-laced society, it was tacitly accepted that the king would have mistresses. Sometimes they were granted formal titles, tax-supported housing and allowances. Madame de Pompadour, for example, was an influential lady of society as a result of becoming the official mistress of King Louis. That would not have happened during the Victorian period."

My eyebrows went up. "The kings wouldn't have….?"

He chuckled. "No, probably kings went on much as they always have.; but the implicit acceptance of that situation was no longer in place.

"The Victorians wanted a society in which virtue and honesty were expected from everyone, high and low. In fact, they wanted their important people to set an example of superior morality, rather than use their position to circumvent it. That was the attitude Oscar Wilde was mocking when he said, 'If the lower orders don't set us a good example, what on earth is the use of them?' "

I laughed at that. "I suppose they'd already figured out that people in power weren't going with the programme, or the joke wouldn't have worked."

"Yes, I suppose so, although Victorian society hadn't given up on the idea by Wilde's time."

"So everybody was supposed to be good all the time? Is that the idea?"

"No, that certainly wasn't expected; but everybody was supposed to be equally accountable for their actions, and to follow the same rules: rich and poor, men and women alike."

"I know _that _part didn't work!"

"Applying the same requirements to men and women? No, and for the same reason it didn't work with the wealthy and powerful. Men had more freedom, more money at their disposal, more opportunity to do as they pleased than Victorian women. Women, children, servants and others in a dependent position followed a code of behaviour which those possessing more independence could secretly flout. In the end, they may have made for a slightly more morally upright society, but it is arguable that they simply drove vice further underground.

"Still, although the Victorians are famous for their prudish and narrow-minded rules of conduct, their moral code included an expectation that everyone, regardless of position, would avoid bribery, waste, dishonesty, cruelty, greed, and other such hazards of wealth and power - or would be called to account for it if they did not."

"That would have been wonderful, in theory," I said. "Imagine people actually getting _more_ honest as you go up the social scale. But, what would more likely happen is that honest people would get shouldered out of important positions so the bad guys could keep covering for each other."

"There," Carlisle said with a smile, "we have a perfect composite of Victorian idealism with present-day cynicism."

"That's what you see as the prevailing attitude right now? Cynical?"

"Not entirely, although it is a factor. But we can't fully understand the nature of this period's mindset until it is in the past, I think."

"Things are clearer in the rearview mirror," I murmured. "Song lyrics," I explained, seeing their surprised looks.

"I see," Carlisle said. "Well, it is very apt."

I grinned as Edward began playing a highly ornamented medley of Pearl Jam hits.

"It is all part of a continuum in human thought, I believe," Carlisle went on. "You see, the main feature of Victorian and Edwardian society was not moral rigour, but earnestness. When they believed in decency, honour, courage, and other virtues they hoped to make comprehensive, they believed in them without irony, without apology, without cynicism."

Esme nodded. "It may be the hardest thing for a modern person to appreciate about that era: that sentimental moral platitudes could have ever been spoken and heard with perfect seriousness, not with a wink and a laugh. It was an attitude we rarely find in anyone past the age of twenty; but they hoped to retain the idealism of youth for life."

"I think I know what you mean," I said, remembering the book Rachel Black had recommended to me. "I've been reading a novel from the eighteen-fifties. It was supposed to be a good example of Victorian thinking. The characters are written realistically, but some of them work so hard at being good and honourable, they're...well, they're kind of sweet, but at the same time almost comical."

"That is exactly the kind of cultural divide I was thinking of," Carlisle agreed. "Victorian earnestness gave way to something less idealistic. Modern thinking regards this as an evolution toward realistic values. _They_ would have seen it as a sad loss and a decline."

"'_The hardening of the heart that brings_  
_Irreverence for the dreams of youth_'," Esme quoted. "Longfellow," she explained, seeing my curious look. "The perfect Victorian poet."

Carlisle took Esme's hand. "Although the Victorian experiment could be considered a failure overall, it had its small successes. As I know from personal experience, encountering a person from that era who had truly absorbed the mentality of the time was a distinct pleasure. They were not merely outwardly polite, but genuinely kind and concerned. Despite their period's reputation, the best of them took pains to avoid being judgmental. They felt a duty to protect the weak and reduce human suffering where possible, and they let their better and gentler self show in a way that people from other times would have been ashamed of."

I followed Carlisle's gaze to the piano in the corner, then looked back at him. He smiled, confirming my thoughts. He was describing Edward. I understood the reason he'd started this discussion: to give me some insight into Edward's way of thinking, and how it contrasted with my own.

"After the Great War," Jasper coughed, and Carlisle added, "as humans call it, things began to change. By the time the Edwardian efforts at technological progress had begun to materialize, the spirit of the age had altered. Earnestness gave way to a more jaded attitude. I suppose the tendency toward cynicism began at this point."

I thought this over a moment. "I'll see for myself, when enough time has passed that my way of looking at the world starts to become obsolete." When I would start to be a temporal outsider as well.

Edward played a selection of ragtime piano pieces while I accepted Jasper's challenge to one more chess game. He teased me about my overcautious defensive playing, and made a few suggestions to improve my game. When the game was done, I was offered dinner. "No lobster this time," Esme said apologetically. "We couldn't get into town to buy some." I sat down to chicken pot pie. "Alice says it's comfort food, helpful during stressful situations for some reason."

"Yes, it is. Thanks, Esme; this is great." I managed to eat most of it, although I'd begun to worry. It was getting late in the day.

Edward sat at the table with me. "What was the novel you mentioned to Carlisle?"

"_The Heir of Redclyffe._ Rachel Black recommended it." He nodded. "It contains yet another couple who were seen as selfish and inconsiderate because they kept their engagement secret."

"Does it?" He grinned.

"You're lucky we're so forgiving!" Alice called from the next room. I was relieved to hear them all laugh.

After dinner I went for a human minute, and used the toothbrush and hair items that were kept there for my use. When I went back downstairs, games and music had been set aside, and there was a bustle of movement. Preparations were underway.

"It's going to get very cold tonight in the higher altitude areas," Alice said. "Really cold, like below freezing; so be sure and bring some of that camping paraphernalia we keep around. I may not be able to see the outcome of this fight," she said grimly, "but I can still forecast the weather accurately."

I twice offered to help, but after being politely told it would go faster without my help, I sat in the living room, watching the family flit in and out of the room, so fast they were mere blurs. I tried not to think about Edward leaving me to fight an army, but feelings of panic kept creeping up on me, then dissolving as Jasper used his gift.

At last, they stood gathered by the door. "It's time, Bella," Edward said, reaching out his hand to help me up. I stood clumsily and let myself be led to the door. Carlisle disappeared a moment and returned holding a glass of water and a small yellow pill, which he offered to me.

"What's this?" I asked in surprise.

"Anti-anxiety medication," he explained. "It's up to you, of course, but I think it would make your night easier to tolerate."

"Oh!" I remembered my past experience with psychiatric drugs. "I'm not sure if it would be a good idea. I was put on anti-depressants when…last winter."

He nodded, glancing at Edward. "Did you have a negative reaction?"

"No, but they didn't help with…everything." I glanced uncomfortably at the group standing nearby, but reminded myself that this was my family now, a family with no secrets. "They had most of the effects the doctor expected, but they didn't do anything for…for Edward being away."

"I understand," he said gravely. "I don't know whether these will be helpful now or not, but I expect they will. They may at least take the edge off your feelings of panic."

Something in me didn't want my panic taken away. What I really wanted was to give in to it, follow Edward into battle regardless of the consequences - but I knew better. I had to do my part. I accepted the pill and swallowed it quickly.

"You have the most difficult job tonight, in some ways," Rosalie commented as the family gathered what seemed to be camping equipment and carried it outside. "I hope it's not too hard for you."

"Thanks, Rosalie."

"If you really want to show your support," Jasper said to her as he passed, "_you _could volunteer to ditch the battle and guard Bella."

"And let Emmett go into the fight without me? Not on your life. I'd go crazy."

I stared at her indignantly. "But you expected _me_ to do it?"

"I not only expected it, I was right. Your sense of duty is almost as overdeveloped as Edward's. I _knew_ you'd fall on the grenade for us." She disappeared through the door before I could say anything else.

I put on an extra sweater, and Alice carried a parka, woollen hat and mittens for later. The family darted off, some carrying pieces of equipment, and Edward pulled me onto his back and dashed after them. He ran more slowly than usual, letting the family go on ahead of him, and I asked why.

"I'm trying to leave a clear trail," he said. "We want to be sure the newborns will track you here. In fact, when we reach the clearing, I'd like you to stay there a few minutes."

"Sure."

He stopped running a few yards from the clearing. "Here," he said, placing me on my feet, "walk the rest of the way, please, and touch as many trees and rocks as you can on the way." I followed his instructions. When we finally reached the clearing, the family were waiting for us. Carlisle was on his cell phone, which struck me as incongruous for some reason. "He's talking to Sam," Edward explained quietly. "Arranging last minute details."

I felt strangely calm, but I wasn't sure if it was due to the pill or to Jasper's assistance. Edward pulled me into his arms and held me; we seemed to be waiting for something. A minute or two later, Carlisle's cell buzzed, and he spoke into it briefly. He snapped it shut, and said, "They're ready."

Edward held me tighter for just a second before he gently took my shoulders and pushed me away, holding me at arm's length. "You have to walk back by yourself," he said, "to avoid mixing the trail. Go directly downhill until you encounter the wolves. The others won't hug you goodbye. They want to limit scent transfer."

I didn't really understand that, but I nodded. "Be careful," I whispered. He kissed me softly and released me.

"Be brave, Bella. We'll see you again before long," Esme called to me, staying at a distance.

I gulped. "All of you be careful, _please_!"

"Of course we will, Bella," Alice said, her lilting voice cheerful.

"We'll be fine, little sister," Emmett said, still jovial as ever. "Don't waste time worrying."

I looked into Edward's eyes once more, then turned and began walking quickly back down the hill, following my original path as closely as I could. I didn't look back. When I had walked about ten minutes, I heard a voice call my name, and looked to my right. Sam was standing there, holding my jacket. "Ready to go?" he asked.

"Sure," I said uncertainly.

"Okay. Put this on first." He tossed me the jacket. I looked at him in confusion. "Our scent's on it. Put the jacket on, then walk toward me." I did as he asked. When I reached him, he looked behind him and made a gesture as if calling someone forward.

A gigantic wolf emerged from the trees behind Sam, then a second, and finally a cluster of them, running until they stopped in a rough semicircle around Sam and me. There were nine wolves, and they seemed far more imposing all at once than one or two at a time. Sam stood beside me, watching, while the wolves walked methodically back and forth over the ground separating us from my original trail. "That should do it," Sam said at last. "Bella, you're going to have to ride again, okay?"

"I don't mind if you don't," I said. "Which one?"

A pretty, russet-coloured wolf lowered himself to the ground, and I carefully climbed on its back. Sam led the pack, still in human form, and the others gathered around me and my wolf as we ran. Their speed, at least, was moderate this time, probably in deference to Sam's present two-legged condition. We travelled uphill for a time, finally coming to a flat, rocky outcropping between stands of trees. I slid carefully down from the wolf's back and looked around. A small tent had been raised, and some of the Cullens' camping gear had been dumped just inside the door flap.

"They provided you with pretty much everything you could need for the rest of the night," Sam said, holding open the tent door so I could look inside. There was a down-filled sleeping bag placed on top of a foam mat; a small, battery-powered space heater and a flashlight. "There's some bottled water and energy bars in the box there," Sam told me, pointing, "and some odds and ends they left for you." I looked into the box: tissues, cleansing wipes, lip balm, and half a dozen other small items. I found it strangely moving: in the middle of preparing for this horrible attack, someone had worried about whether I might get chapped lips.

"Thanks," I told Sam. "Thanks, all of you." A couple of the wolves barked in response.

Sam shrugged. "I stayed like this so I could talk to you, but once you're settled, I'm going to phase and get in position for the fight. Seth and Leah will be staying with you, but it's just possible one of them will leave if someone's needed below."

"Okay." The nine wolves were standing around, watching.

"Oh, yeah. Carlisle said you might get antsy and decide to run down and join the fight. I'm not clear on why you'd try something like that, but he told us we could feel free to hold you here, for your own safety, until the battle's over. He said I should pass along his apologies for doing that."

"Right. Well, I won't be doing anything like that, and if I do, you have my permission to put me under house arrest. Okay?"

"Yeah. I guess we're good. Any questions?" I shook my head. Sam disappeared into the trees and a huge, black wolf returned. Two wolves, a sandy brown one and a grey one, moved over to stand beside the tent. The others gathered around the Sam-wolf.

"Good luck," I told them, and received a volley of barks and yaps in reply. They turned and ran, disappearing from my sight in seconds. The wind had been rising for some time, but now it was starting to feel genuinely cold. I looked at the two wolves who had stayed to guard me. "Aren't you going to be cold out here?" The sandy wolf swayed its head from side to side. "Seriously?" I asked, wrapping my arms around myself against the chill. They both shook their heads vehemently. "Is that a werewolf thing?" The grey wolf moved its head up and down once while the other made a noise halfway between a bark and a chortle.

I looked at the tent. It seemed rude to just go inside and leave them out here in the dark, but the wind was getting colder by the minute. The grey wolf moved brusquely in front of me, shoved the tent flap open with its snout, and looked at me. "Okay, then. Um, goodnight. And thank you again."

The grey wolf stalked off and lay down beside the tent, and the other one sat down beside the first. I crawled inside and zipped the tent door shut. It was good to get out of the wind. I turned the space heater on low, pulled on the parka, woollen hat and mittens, and climbed into the sleeping bag. I shivered a few minutes, but soon the heater had warmed the small interior sufficiently, and the insulated sleeping bag did the rest. My panic was under control. Maybe it was the medication, or maybe I was just repressing things effectively, but I found I was all right as long as I kept my mind on other matters. Only a few hours, I told myself. Just don't think about it for a few hours.

I sat up and rummaged through the little box of supplies. I washed my face and hands with the wipes, put on some of the lip balm, and had a few sips of water. Finding it a little cold outside the sleeping bag, I lay down and curled up inside it once again. I thought of as many different things as I could to keep my mind occupied. I even used Edward's technique to ponder the new question of why I was so reserved with people I cared about, and how I could change that. I found it surprisingly easy, as time went on, to let my mind become fuzzy and my subconscious thoughts emerge. In fact, I had a few real breakthroughs.

My mind continued to get fuzzier as the night wore on. At some point, very unexpectedly, I actually fell asleep.

It must have been the medication kicking in. I would never have thought I could sleep while…_that_ was going on, but somehow I conked out. I woke up when it was still dark, to find Edward beside me, shaking me awake.

"Bella," he said urgently. "Wake up! You have to come with me." I blinked up at him. "They're here."


	21. One Damn Thing After Another

I sat up, clutching at him in relief. "You're all right! The fight, is it over?" His clothing was slightly torn and streaked with mud, but he was apparently unharmed.

"Yes, all over; but something else has come up. I have to take you back to the clearing."

"What is it?" I climbed out of the sleeping bag and pulled my shoes back on. "Who's here?"

"The Volturi." His expression was bleak. He left the tent, and I followed him.

"The Volturi are _here_?" My heart began to pound.

My two guards were standing alertly nearby, staring at Edward. He replied to their thoughts. "The Volturi are in a position of authority among our kind; a police force, you might say. They came to investigate and deal with the rash of killings in Seattle."

He paused a moment as though listening. "Yes, it could be a very bad thing for us." A brief pause. "Because they now know about Bella. Humans are not permitted to know about us. If they find out, they must either be killed or turned into one of us." His voice was flat and strained.

The two wolves seemed to become agitated at that point. "It's not possible to fight them," Edward said. The wolves reacted. "You don't understand. It doesn't matter how many of us there are, or how we attack. Their weapons are not merely physical. You would never even reach one of them before you were stopped. Our only hope is to convince them not to take action." He listened again for a moment. "Believe me, if there was the slightest chance, I would join you. Carlisle is familiar with some of them; he will try to persuade them. Please don't take any hostile action; it would only reduce Bella's chance of survival." There was a pause. "Thank you. Thank Sam for me. I wish I could accept your offer."

The two wolves looked at him for a second, then ran off together. "They've gone to join the rest," Edward explained to me. He swept me up in his arms. "I'm sorry, Bella. I have to take you to face them. I have no idea what the result will be."

"What should I do?"

"There are no guidelines, really. Answer honestly when you are asked a question. There is no point trying to hide anything. One of the Volturi, Aro, may want to take your hand. It is how he uses his gift: he can read your mind only when in physical contact with you. You must allow it."

"All right." As terrified as I was of the Volturi, I found it much easier to keep myself calm now, when I was with Edward, than it had been last night.

He ran through the trees with me in his arms. I just held him close and watched his face. He would repeatedly meet my eyes, then look away as though it hurt him to look at me. As we approached the clearing, he kissed me and set me on my feet, taking my hand and walking with me the last few yards.

There was a strange gathering assembled in front of me. Two groups, standing two or three yards apart, faced each other. On one side were the Cullens, dressed in ordinary clothes, disheveled and torn. A small figure was seated on the ground next to Jasper, who seemed to be guarding her. As we approached I could see it was a girl in her teens, small and thin, with short, dark hair. As Edward and I came nearer, she bared her teeth at me and whined, and I could see she was a young vampire. I looked at Edward in confusion, but he shook his head and said, "Later."

Facing the Cullens was a group of ten or more in cloaks of black or grey, like uniforms. Three men stood in the centre of the group, two smaller figures directly behind them. To their left were an impossibly huge man, an ordinary sized man, and what seemed to be a boy and girl of twelve or so. These were not people I would have easily mistaken for human beings; they were clearly vampires, the vampires of horror stories and nightmares, and in ways I couldn't quite identify they were as different from the Cullens as night from day. I felt a fleeting desire for another of Carlisle's little yellow pills.

Edward led me toward his family and took his place beside Carlisle, still holding my hand. The vampire girl on the ground screeched suddenly, and Jasper seemed to speak to her sternly until she fell quiet and sat, rocking herself, her arms wrapped around her knees, staring at me with a tormented expression. I realized she must be one of the newborns, but couldn't imagine why she was being kept this way.

One of the three men took a step forward. "Ah! This must be the human who has caused such disruption. Quite inadvertently, I am sure." He gave me what was apparently intended as a reassuring smile. "And, of course, your situation allowed me to reconnect with my old friend Carlisle. What an incredible life he has led since last we met! And how unexpectedly successful he has been in his unusual mode of existence. I am truly impressed." He now turned his smile on Carlisle, who returned his gaze with a cautious expression, then looked back at me. "Forgive me! I am Aro; and you, I understand, are Isabella."

"Yes." I figured short, uncomplicated answers were best.

"You seem to inspire a strong reaction, of one sort or another, in our kind. Not one, but two of us have been determined to track you down and destroy you, one of them creating an army for that purpose; Carlisle's entire coven protects you diligently; and his oldest companion has claimed you - if I understand correctly - as his mate, before you have even been transformed. What can account for such singular attention?" He seemed to study me carefully.

"What difference does it make?" the blond, angry-looking vampire to Aro's left asked sharply. "She knows more than she should. We ought to deal with it and leave." I felt Edward tense at my side. The third black-cloaked vampire to Aro's right barely reacted. Unlikely as it seemed, he gave the impression of being tremendously bored.

"Not so hasty, my dear brother, if you please," Aro said calmly. "There are features of interest in this peculiar situation. We have already learned that Carlisle has acquired a number of very talented individuals." His eyes rested on Alice for a long moment. "Our friend Edward, for example, is remarkably gifted. He does not even require contact to hear the thoughts of others, and he is able to discern the thoughts of many people at once. Is that not so, Edward?"

"It is," Edward replied coldly.

"And yet, _this_ human is exempt from your ability. The one exception you have encountered. Also true?"

"Yes."

"It intrigues me. Such a pronounced gift while still human - it is unusual. I wonder, Isabella, if you would allow me to conduct a little experiment?" He held out his hand to me.

I looked at Edward, who nodded and gave my hand an encouraging squeeze before letting me go. I approached Aro, suppressing my automatic distaste and my impulse to turn and run in the opposite direction. Cringing slightly, I held out my right hand. He stepped forward to take it between his own hands, and gazed off into the distance. After a moment he frowned and bowed his head as though concentrating. At last he released my hand. "Amazing," he said, glancing back at the two black-cloaked vampires who stood near him. "I see nothing whatsoever."

I quickly returned to my place beside Edward. Aro regarded me with a slight smile. "I wonder how far your ability extends. Shall we test her gift further, brothers?"

Edward suddenly dropped my hand and surged forward. "No!" Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper all dashed to him and held him back, but he continued to struggle. I was mystified. Suddenly Edward simply dropped to the ground as though shot, gasping, his face contorted in pain. His breath came in short bursts and he writhed in agony. I dropped to my knees beside him, wanting to help him, unable to fathom what was happening.

"That is sufficient, dear Jane," Aro said sweetly. The Cullens looked to their right, at the little blonde girl in a grey cloak, who stood smiling angelically at Edward. At Aro's words, Edward suddenly stopped struggling. He got slowly to his feet, looking at me in horror. "Thank you, Jane. You may proceed with the experiment."

I now had a vague notion of what was taking place, and I braced myself. Edward watched me helplessly, holding me tightly with one arm while clinging to Carlisle as if for support. The seconds passed in silence while I waited for this Jane to do whatever it was she did. At last Edward began to relax. Jane's innocent smile faded. She gave a snarl that made my blood run cold, and stared at me furiously.

Aro laughed with childlike delight. "Wonderful! Do not distress yourself, Jane, my dear. We are confronted with something entirely new. Carlisle, you seem to have extraordinary luck in finding the gifted."

"Are you finished experimenting?" the angry blond vampire snapped.

"Patience, brother. Does it not occur to you that our little Isabella has tremendous potential? If she demonstrates such marked abilities as a human, imagine how formidable she might be as one of us. It would be a shocking waste of incipient talent to destroy her now." He looked at Carlisle. "I understand it is your intention to transform her in the near future?"

"It is," Carlisle replied.

"At her own request, too," Aro said. "In fact," he gave an arid chuckle, "she provided a point by point argument for it, as if before a tribunal, and requested your coven put the matter to a vote. Quite exceptional."

"Why have you not changed her before now?" the angry one asked Carlisle.

"Partly in order to allow Bella time to prepare herself," Carlisle replied, "but also in order to remain inconspicuous. Bella is the daughter of a police official, and she is known to be attached to Edward and to associate regularly with us. She is expected to leave her father's house this summer to attend college. It should be easier, at that point, to fabricate a disappearance or death which will not arouse suspicion."

"Admirable," Aro said. "Well, Caius, my brother, you can hardly object to such conscientious attention to our need for secrecy." The angry one - Caius - scowled but gave a shrug of assent. "Ah! _Concordiamo_! And you, brother Marcus?" The bored one inclined his head. "Excellent!" Aro clapped his hands twice, smiling broadly. "I am _so_ glad we were able to resolve this to everyone's satisfaction."

There was no actual sound, but it seemed as if the Cullens all breathed a simultaneous sigh of relief. The tension that had surrounded them seemed to lessen. Edward bowed his head a moment, and took my hand again. I realized they had all half expected I would be killed, and a belated shock ran through me at my narrow escape.

"Can we get on with the business at hand now?" Caius asked. "Are the newborn wars spreading to the north?"

"No," Jasper said. "This situation was an anomaly. Victoria, who created the army, intended to use it only against us."

"But your Isabella was the primary target, Carlisle informs me. Why would she go to such lengths to kill a single human?"

Edward answered. "She has been pursuing Bella for some time, but has never been able to get past us. She believed the newborn army would either defeat us, or keep us sufficiently occupied to allow Victoria to reach Bella at last."

"I see," Aro said. "And what motivated this strange fixation?"

"Revenge. Victoria wanted revenge on us, but particularly on me. We destroyed her mate, James, when James attacked Bella. Victoria's idea was to retaliate by doing the same to me. I had taken away her mate, so she would take mine."

"And you were able to defeat an entire newborn army? That is astonishing," Aro said.

"We had exceptional resources, which Victoria was unaware of," Carlisle explained. "Jasper was directly involved in the newborn wars for many years, and his guidance was crucial. We also formed an alliance with the werewolves, as I've described to you."

Caius shuddered. "That was insanely risky!"

"Perhaps," Carlisle said, "but we had very little choice. We had to accept help where we could find it."

"Indeed," Aro said, "and we deeply regret that our slow response to this threat left you to fend for yourselves, however effectively you were able to manage it. These allies of yours are very intriguing. I would love to learn more about them. But I mustn't digress from the issue at hand. This newborn army - who destroyed their creator? Or did she escape at last?"

"Several of us worked together to destroy her," Edward said, nodding toward a point some eighty yards away, where a plume of thick, purplish smoke was rising from the ground. Since my last encounter with James, I knew what was required to kill a vampire permanently, and I shivered at the thought. It was only then I noticed four other, larger burning sites in the distance, smoke rising from each.

"Then it seems this crisis is at an end. I congratulate you. All that remains is to deal with this newborn." Aro looked at the girl huddled on the ground beside Jasper. "What is your name?"

She looked at Carlisle, who smiled and gestured for her to reply. "Bree," she said.

Caius snapped out questions about the girl's origins, about Victoria and about the number of newborns in her army. When the girl was slow to respond, Jane apparently intervened, and Bree fell to the ground, shrieking and thrashing in pain. I watched her in horror, and Edward pulled me closer. When the girl was quiet again, Caius resumed his questioning. She replied quickly to each question.

"She has acted in a dangerously conspicuous manner," Caius said. "Her guilt is clear."

Carlisle argued on the girl's behalf, pointing out that Victoria had not trained her properly, that she had no idea she was breaking any laws. He offered to take responsibility for her, to take her in as part of his family, and Esme spoke in support of the idea. Carlisle's offer was rejected, and he stood aside regretfully as the Volturi prepared to act.

"Don't look," Edward whispered to me. I followed his advice without hesitation, burying my face against his chest. I heard Bree start to wail, then to shriek horribly; then the sound stopped abruptly. I heard a dull roaring sound and smelled something like incense, and looked up to find a small fire burning on one side of the clearing. The huge vampire was just returning to his place beside the Volturi.

I concentrated on breathing slowly and evenly and focusing on innocuous things, like trees and rocks. The Volturi seemed to be taking their leave, Aro speaking politely to Carlisle as though saying goodbye to the host at a cocktail party. Suddenly Caius looked directly at me, and I stopped breathing.

"About the girl," he said. "Don't delay too long. We won't tolerate this situation indefinitely."

Carlisle inclined his head. The Volturi turned to leave, their entourage falling into place behind them. In seconds, they were out of sight.

The family seemed to drop the tense formality they'd been maintaining. Carlisle and Esme embraced, Rosalie and Emmett kissed, Jasper and Alice clasped hands and smiled at each other. Edward held my face in his hands and looked down at me. "You're safe at last. It's such a relief to have this over with, I can hardly take it in."

Carlisle sighed deeply. "Let's go home."

Edward had me climb onto his back and we ran back to the house, where I was supposedly enjoying a slumber party with Alice. The eastern horizon was just beginning to lighten as we returned, and the family laughed with relief and exchanged banter about highlights of the battle. The jubilation went on once we'd arrived. I tried to enjoy their triumph and listen to their descriptions of the fight, but I found myself reacting to the aftereffects of shock and fear, becoming overwhelmingly weary. "She's exhausted," Esme said at last. "We should save the rest of this until Bella's had some sleep and some time to recover."

"Thanks, Esme," I said. "I will, if you don't mind."

They all wished me goodnight, hugging and kissing me and, in Emmett's case, actually picking me up and tossing me; then Edward picked me up and flew me up the stairs. "You can stay downstairs and talk if you want," I said. "I'll be fine by myself."

"No," he said firmly. "I can talk over the battle tomorrow. Right now all I want is to be with you."

I took off my shoes and fell onto the bed, fully dressed. Edward lay beside me, pulling the bedspread over me. I squirmed closer to him, lay my head on his shoulder, and almost immediately fell asleep. I woke more than once with nightmares, but was reassured as soon as I found myself beside Edward, and by morning I felt more like myself again.

The next day was a happy one. I came downstairs about ten, was offered breakfast, then was treated to re-enactments of battle highlights. It was terrible to even hear about, and I was a little relieved I hadn't been there to observe.

I also had some of the missing pieces filled in for me. Victoria had arrived just after the newborns, assuming she would have the opportunity to find me while the Cullens dealt with her army. Edward had been able to follow her thoughts from that point. She had been shocked to discover the werewolves fighting along with the Cullens, but had quickly rallied and, finding I was not at the scene of the battle, attempted to discover my hiding place. Edward was aware the moment she realized the werewolves had been used to camouflage my scent, and before she could follow their trail and find me, he had called the nearest wolf, Jacob, to block her path. Edward and Jasper had followed, and two more wolves joined them. Victoria had fought with incredible speed and skill, according to Jasper, but she was finally overcome, dismembered, and burned. I could have done without the graphic details, but joined the others in celebrating the end of Victoria's continual menace.

In the afternoon Edward and I went to our meadow. It was a safe place once again, and we relished the complete solitude - and made the most of it. At about four o'clock, he brought me back to the house to get my truck so I could drive back home from my 'sleepover.' "Can you go out this evening?" he asked.

"I don't see why not," I said.

"Good. I'll come by and pick you up after dinner."

We clung together for a while before I could manage to let him go and get into the truck. I drove home with my mind racing through a thousand thoughts and images. My nerves were still unsettled from the long period of fear and suspense, the meeting with the Volturi and the horrible execution of poor Bree, and the stories of the battle with the newborns. I was looking forward to a soothingly ordinary evening of dinner, dishes, sitting with Charlie and watching the news, and a trip to the movies or the mall with Edward. I didn't even notice the familiar car parked in front of the house.

I went in to find Charlie sitting with Billy and Jacob Black, watching the final inning of a baseball game. "Hey, Bells," Charlie called. "How was the sleepover?"

"Great," I said. "Hi Billy."

"Bella." Billy's greeting was friendly enough, but he met my eyes with an expression that worried me.

"Hi," Jacob said. His face was as stern as his father's.

"Hi, Jacob." I turned back to Charlie. "Dad, should I start dinner?"

"Sure. I asked Billy and Jacob to stay. Is that a problem?"

"No, I can come up with something. But I was going to go out with Edward for dinner tonight, if that's okay."

"Oh, sure. He's back, huh?"

"Yeah." I met Billy's eyes once more and went into the kitchen to start peeling potatoes. Jacob joined me a minute later.

"Need some help?" he asked.

"Thanks, I'm good." I kept working, waiting for the upshot.

Jacob lowered his voice. "I don't know if you realize it, but we were listening to your meeting with the bloodsucker police force, or whatever you call them." He'd dropped any attempt to be civil. "We stayed out of the way, but we were close enough to hear."

"Okay."

"I suppose you know what part of that conversation caught our attention." I shook my head. "Are you serious? You don't think there's anything in particular we'd have had a problem with?"

"Oh!"

"Right."

"You mean, that the Volturi know about the werewolves now. That's…"

"No! Not that!"

"What, then?"

He shook his head as though exasperated. "You're going to let the Cullens turn you into one of them!" His voice began to get louder, and he quickly lowered it again. "They said you'd volunteered for it! It's all set to go through after you move to New Hampshire. Didn't think to mention _that_ when you were visiting with us, did you? When we were standing guard over you?"

"What, you wouldn't have given me protection if you'd known?"

"We didn't offer to help you stay alive just so you could be turned into one of _those_!"

"It's my choice, Jacob."

"It's not a choice, it's a death sentence!"

"We're not going to agree on this, obviously, but it's been decided."

"Fine. I'm here to deliver a message for the Cullens. They have to follow the treaty, as written. If they bite another human - not just kill, _bite_ - the treaty is void and we're free to attack them."

I was shocked. "But we're leaving the area. We'll be in another state by then."

"It doesn't matter how far away you are. The treaty doesn't specify distance. Even if you're on the other side of the world, it still applies."

"Jacob, you heard the Volturi. The Cullens will be executed if they _don't _change me!"

"Not our problem."

"So you'll call off the treaty and kill the whole family if they do what I _asked _them to do?" He faced me solemnly. "And kill me too, I suppose."

He hesitated. "You won't be _you_ any more. You'll be one of them. You'd be better off dead."

"Did all of them agree to this?"

His eyes darted briefly away from me. "That doesn't matter. The decision was made, and we'll all abide by it. Just pass that along to your friends, will you?" He turned and stalked back to the living room.

I checked to make sure Charlie was still engrossed in his game, and dialled Edward's number on the kitchen phone. He answered immediately. "Bella! Is something wrong?"

"Just a little. Would you be able to pick me up earlier than we'd planned?"

"That's fine. When?"

"Half an hour?"

"I'll be there. Is there a problem?"

"I'd rather explain when I see you, if you don't mind. It's kind of…public here."

"I understand. I'll see you soon."

I finished putting the dinner together and went back into the living room as the baseball game came to an end. "Dad? Dinner's all set whenever you want it. Edward's picking me up in a few minutes." I avoided looking at Billy.

"Aw, you didn't have to make a whole meal when you weren't even going to eat it!" he protested belatedly.

"It's no trouble. I left it to warm in the oven. Just help yourself whenever you're ready." I ran upstairs, changed into a shirt that looked more appropriate for my alleged dinner date, and came back down as Charlie, Billy and Jacob were sitting down at the table. There was a very timely knock on the door at that moment, and I ran to let Edward in. I grabbed my purse, said a quick goodbye, ignoring Jacob's accusing stare, and hurried outside.

Edward took my arm as we walked to his car, but waited until he was driving to question me. "You seem upset. Tell me what's happened."

I repeated my short conversation with Jacob. He frowned thoughtfully. "Would you mind if we go back to the house? I'd like you to tell Carlisle about this."

"That's fine."

"I can still take you to dinner afterward, if you like."

I grinned. "That was just an excuse to get away from Billy and Jacob."

"Nevertheless, we could celebrate being free to go where we like without staying within reach of the others."

"I thought we did that this afternoon." I blushed when he looked at me, and he laughed.

Emmett was especially happy to see me, the one person who had missed yesterday's battle. He regaled me with more details of the fight with the newborns, describing with pride some of Rosalie's more effective moves. He made a point of praising Esme's efforts, earning a smile. He finally ran out of material after twenty minutes or so.

Jasper looked at me curiously. "Something's come up."

"Yes," Edward said. Carlisle moved closer, and the others gathered around us. "When Bella got home, Billy and Jacob Black were there. Jacob had a message for us." He looked at me, and I briefly recapped my conversation with Jacob.

"Huh!" exclaimed Emmett. "What did you say back to him?"

"Not much. I mostly listened."

"Even when he said they were going to kill you because you'd be better off dead?"

"I let that go. Jacob was just passing along a message from the others."

"Isn't _he _the jolly postman!" Rosalie snapped.

Carlisle sighed. "I had hoped to avoid this by leaving the area; but I suppose the Quileutes would have deduced what had happened when Bella was reported missing or deceased."

"Can they really prevent Bella from being changed? Prevent it permanently?" Esme asked.

"It is part of the treaty. If we make Bella one of us, they are released from their agreement, and are free to destroy us."

"Then we'll fight them," Emmett said decidedly.

"That's your solution to everything!" I said to him. "You just fended off a whole army. Haven't you had enough fighting for now?"

"No. And anyway, they started it!"

"You're such a _kid_!"

"I happen to be fifty years older than you, Junior!"

Carlisle smiled benignly at us. "We would probably not be successful," he told Emmett. "You saw for yourself how well they acquitted themselves against the newborns, despite being outnumbered. I would not subject the family to such a risk if it were possible to avoid it."

"What are the alternatives?" Jasper asked.

"Could we hide from them?" Alice suggested.

"Perhaps; but it would mean living as fugitives, and taking the chance of being destroyed if they ever did discover us." Carlisle looked at me. "There is one other possibility, of course. We could agree to keep the provisions of the treaty."

It took me a second to understand. "You mean, I could give up the idea of being one of you?"

"Yes. At least, until we can find a better solution."

I was silent. After all Edward and I had been through, it seemed so unfair that I would have to give up, just when what I wanted was within reach.

"For how long?" Alice asked. "I mean, the wolves could keep this stalemate going indefinitely, and Bella...hasn't got unlimited time."

"I realize that. Certainly, we would continue our efforts to find a resolution, hopefully before too much time has passed."

My nightmare of growing old while Edward stayed forever seventeen crossed my mind; as did Caius' veiled threat from the night before.

"However," Carlisle went on, "given the seriousness of the threat, I may have to request that Bella postpone her change, for the sake of the family's safety."

There was no way I could refuse, although my mind scrabbled for a way out. "Sure," I said after a second. "Of course." Carlisle patted my shoulder sympathetically. I suppose my disappointment was painfully obvious.

"Is there no way around this?" Esme asked. "Couldn't we talk to them? We convinced them to be our allies. Maybe we could persuade them to make an exception in Bella's case."

"Do you really think they'd listen?" Rosalie asked. "It sounds like they're practically giddy over the prospect of finally taking us down."

I remembered something. "Jacob did imply that they weren't completely unanimous on this subject. If we talk to all of them at once, we might be able to get through to them."

"I think we should try," Esme said.

"There might be a few facts which our allies have overlooked." Carlisle looked around the room. "Any objections?" There were none. He picked up his cell phone and entered a number. The conversation was brief and to the point. Carlisle closed the cell and turned to us. "One hour from now, at the site of our first meeting."

I was given dinner, and the family gathered in the kitchen, despite the food smells which Rosalie kept complaining about, and discussed what we would say to the pack when we met. I found myself feeling more confident of the outcome as we talked. We had a lot of material on our side.


	22. Better Red Than Dead

Edward set me on my feet as we arrived at an area of forest not far from the reserve. I was surprised to see the size of the group they'd brought: not only all the wolves, but also Billy, Sue, Rachel, Emily, and Old Quil, who was sitting on a folding lawn chair someone had brought. "Everyone has an interest in this subject," Sam said, explaining the large attendance.

"Of course," Carlisle said. "Thank you for agreeing to see us."

"There doesn't seem to be much point," Paul said. "The treaty is still in effect. If you violate the terms, we don't have to keep our side any longer. What's there to talk about?"

"There are a few considerations I felt you should be aware of," Carlisle said. "You should understand the consequences of your position, even if you do not intend to change it."

"What considerations?" Jacob asked suspiciously.

"First, and most important, is the presence of the Volturi."

"I heard," Sam said. "They want you to turn Bella into one of you, and they won't like it if you don't."

"They will do more than disapprove. If we leave Bella as she is, we will be contravening a law, almost the only law the Volturi strictly enforce. The penalty is execution."

"That's between you and your royal family," Jacob snapped. "It's not our business to bail you out. The treaty still stands."

"You understand, of course, that the seven of us would not be the only casualties if we defy the Volturi," Carlisle said.

"Is that a threat?" Paul snapped.

"By no means. Not from us, in any case."

"What are you talking about, then?" Sam asked.

"Bella is a human who is aware of our existence. That is expressly forbidden, at least if she is to remain human. She would be killed as well."

That caused a slight stir. "You're going to throw that in our faces?" Jacob said angrily. "You're the reason she's in this situation to begin with. She found out about it from you!"

"No," I said, "I first found out about it from _you_, Jake. Remember? Edward didn't tell me anything until I let him know I already knew."

Jacob opened his mouth, and closed it again. "Okay, fine," Sam said, "I'm sorry one of us put her in that position, but it doesn't change anything. She'd be better off dead than turned into a vampire."

"Thanks so much for looking after my interests," I muttered, and a few of the younger boys snickered.

Billy spoke up. "I don't see why you have to just sit back and let Bella be killed. You fought off all those others yesterday. Why couldn't you fight these Volturi, or whatever they're called?"

"They can't be successfully fought," Carlisle said. "The attacker would be disarmed almost before he could move."

"So _he_ said before," Leah remarked, nodding at Edward. "I don't see what makes them so powerful. There aren't even very many of them. What are these weapons you were talking about?"

"You're aware that several of us have unusual abilities," Edward answered. "Not physical abilities; special gifts involving our minds. The Volturi have spent centuries finding the most gifted among us, and adding those individuals to their guard, until they are completely invulnerable. One member of the guard, Jane, has the power to inflict excruciating pain on anyone at will. The pain is only in the victim's mind, but it still renders him helpless. Another guard member can use similar powers to take sight and hearing away - all senses, in fact, including the sense of touch. It would be impossible to defend yourself under those conditions."

The Quileutes shifted uneasily. They did not seem to doubt Edward's statement.

"Furthermore," Carlisle continued, "Bella would not be the only one threatened if the Volturi return. They have, I am sorry to say, become aware of your existence, and of the nature of your existence."

"You're saying they'd come after the wolves?" one of the boys asked.

"Not necessarily. They may feel that your unusual circumstances make the knowledge of our existence acceptable. However, you do have ordinary humans among you who have been informed." Everyone looked back to where Billy sat in his wheelchair and Old Quil in his folding seat; where Rachel stood next to Paul, Emily beside Sam, and Sue Clearwater between her two children. The serious nature of the problem was clearly sinking in. "Jasper would have a better idea of how they might respond. He was present on certain occasions when the Volturi took action against lawbreakers."

Jasper nodded. "Unfortunately, I can't say for certain. They tend to decide on a case by case basis. They may execute only the few normal humans who know about us." The wolf pack bridled a bit at the expression 'normal humans,' but said nothing. "Then again, they may decide you are all too much of a risk, and wipe out the entire tribe. There's no way of knowing in advance."

"How would they even know who's been informed? We could just tell them we keep the information within the pack," Sam said.

"That would be ineffective," Edward answered. "You are aware I have the ability to read minds? Aro, one of the Volturi, has a similar ability. His is more comprehensive: he can read not only present thoughts, but every memory a person retains. It would be impossible to keep a secret from him."

"These talents have allowed them to retain their authority for centuries," Jasper explained.

There was a longer silence. "It doesn't seem right," Billy said at last. "No matter how much damage these Volturi can do, we shouldn't just stand back and allow it. I've known Bella since she was born. How can I just watch her be turned into…_that_, and not even try to stop it? It just doesn't seem _right!_" he concluded helplessly.

"But Billy, this isn't something they're doing to me against my will. I want this for myself."

"Bella, you couldn't possibly want that if you weren't under their influence somehow."

"I'm sorry, Billy, but you don't know what you're talking about. You don't know them. You don't even want to let yourself know them. Your grandfather understood that they were different from the others. Why can't you see it? They're such good people."

"I don't understand how you can say that," Paul burst out, "after what they did to you. Don't you remember what you were like last winter?" He glared at Edward. "We were the ones who found her in the woods, curled up in the fetal position on the ground. She could barely talk at first. Billy was at the house a lot, trying to keep her father from going crazy. She was a basket case for months. What the hell did you do to her, anyway?"

I hated the pain on Edward's face as he was reminded of those events. "Edward didn't do anything to me, except leave," I told Paul.

"He did more than that! He did something to your mind. Nobody reacts that way just because their boyfriend leaves. She needs to be protected from you," he told Edward.

"That was Edward's hypothesis at the time," Carlisle said.

Sam frowned. "What was?"

"That he should remove himself from Bella's life for her own good."

Billy turned to Edward. "_That's_ why you left?"

"Yes," Edward said. "I hoped she'd forget about me, and go on to have a happy, normal life. I never expected her to react the way she did."

"Unfortunately," Carlisle continued, "there were factors in play that none of us had counted upon."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked.

"It's a bit complicated," Edward said. "But you do have a parallel situation that will help you to understand. What you call imprinting."

"What about it?" asked Paul sharply.

"We experience a similar phenomenon." This was apparently news to the Quileutes. "Not precisely identical, but the same in two crucial areas. When we form an attachment, when we fall in love, the bond is permanent and unchanging."

Sam grimaced. "I doubt it's very much alike."

"I have to disagree with you. I've actually experienced the thoughts of imprinted individuals, and their feelings toward their companions were remarkably familiar."

"You said _two_ ways they're the same," Paul said. "What's the other?"

Edward hesitated, and Carlisle answered for him. "Among our kind, attached couples can't be separated, or not for long. They suffer terribly, and are unable to function normally."

"It was the root cause of the entire battle we've just emerged from," Jasper added. "Victoria had her mate taken from her. The bond between them was far less intense than usual, but she still became distraught and obsessed with vengeance."

"Okay," Sam said, "but what's that have to do with Bella? She's a human being, not…one of you."

"We are still trying to work that out," Carlisle said. "with the limited data available to us. Obviously, their situation is unusual. It appears that her attachment to Edward has caused Bella to adopt some of our responses."

"Vampire responses?" Jacob looked skeptical. "Can that even happen?"

"Again, we cannot be sure. The fact is, our kind rarely experience unrequited love. Such feelings tend to be mutual, and we speculate that it is a natural reaction, a reflex, which unites them, preventing any one individual from being trapped forever, alone, in a fixed state of devotion toward an indifferent object."

"Let's see if I've got this," Paul said. "When you people fall in love, you can never fall _out _of love; and you go crazy if you're not together; so to prevent that happening, you unconsciously send out some kind of pheromones or thought waves or whatever, to make sure the other person falls, too. Is that the idea?"

"More or less," Edward agreed.

"What we didn't expect," Carlisle said, "was a similar reaction in Bella. Despite your suspicions, we have done nothing to alter her mental state; but it appears that since she and Edward have known each other, Bella has begun to respond like one of our kind. Not in all areas," he added hastily, as the Quileutes looked alarmed, "but in terms of our usual response to a mate. Her extreme reaction to Edward's absence is one example."

Leah made an unexpected inference. "So that means Edward was suffering the same way, all the time he was gone?"

Carlisle glanced at Edward. "I'm afraid his reaction was far worse. Bella is human, and it is her nature to change and heal. That may have protected her to some extent, although I don't mean to diminish her experience."

"I can understand why you would despise us, after seeing her that way," Edward said. "If I'd suspected for one moment that Bella would have such a reaction, I would never have considered leaving."

"None of us would," Esme added. "It was a terrible mistake."

The Quileutes looked at each other. "Okay, I guess that explains your leaving," Same said. "Why'd you come back?"

"The immediate cause was a message from Alice, who had seen Bella depressed and suicidal. I set out for Washington at once; but to be honest, I would probably have returned before long in any case."

"Why?" Quil asked.

Edward looked at him. "Imagine yourself far way from Claire, with no contact for months on end, and you will understand why I had to come back."

The four imprinted pack members seemed to take that comparison very seriously; and the others at least understood its significance. Sam finally spoke. "I suppose what all this is leading up to is, you want permission to change Bella so she and Edward can stay together."

"That is where I was leading, yes," Carlisle agreed.

"Look," Billy said, "we all feel sorry about Bella's situation, but to be fair, she wouldn't be in this mess if the Cullens had left her alone to begin with. I don't see why their mistake means we should toss the agreement."

"We don't have to throw it away completely," Seth argued. "We can make an exception, this once. We certainly have enough of an excuse: people might get killed!"

"We can consider what you've told us," Sam said, "but I'm not promising anything. We may be able to find another way to keep the treaty without bringing your police force down on us." He seemed to be winding things up.

"Can I add something?" I asked, looking from Carlisle to Sam.

"Of course, Bella," Carlisle said, and Sam nodded.

"I just want to let you know that ruling against us," I saw several of them react to that _us_, "won't change the outcome. I'm not going to sit around and let my family, my friends, and myself be exterminated, even if _you_ think it's a reasonable price to pay."

"If one of the Cullens bites you, the treaty's void," Billy said.

"I know that. If you won't waive the rules to avoid a mass execution, I'll have to find another way. I'll find someone else who's able and willing to change me."

This created a bit of a sensation on both sides of the meeting. "Then we'd go after the one who did it!" Jacob said.

"In that case, I'll be sure and pick somebody I'm not that fond of."

"You really think that's going to work?" Jacob sneered.

"If that doesn't work, I'll bypass the agreement. You guys are fond of finding loopholes; I'll use one of my own. I won't have _anyone_ bite me. I'll just have them gather their venom in a syringe and inject me with it."

Emmett burst out laughing, and the others looked at me with varied expressions. Rosalie's face surprised me; she seemed to be regarding me with admiration.

"Injecting you is the same as biting you, for all intents and purposes," Sam insisted. "It still violates the spirit of the agreement."

"Well, _I _didn't make a treaty with you. I'll take the syringe and inject myself."

"Check and mate," Jasper murmured.

"And how can you talk about violating the spirit of the agreement?" I went on. "Isn't your whole focus supposed to be protecting human life? You made a treaty with the Cullens because they were no danger to human beings. You agreed to fight on our side in order to save human lives. But now you're hanging onto rules, even if following them to the letter means letting your own people be slaughtered!"

"That's right," came a soft, slightly gruff voice I hadn't heard before. Old Quil pushed himself out of his folding chair and walked stiffly to a place beside Billy. "The girl has a point. What's the real purpose of the treaty? What good does it do to make them follow the treaty to the bitter end, if it means we all end up dead?"

"Grandfather," Sam said deferentially, "if we make an exception this time…"

"…then we never have to do it again if we don't want to," Old Quil concluded. "That's why it's called an exception. We go back to the treaty as it was before."

"And you wouldn't consider the treaty broken?" Sam asked.

Old Quil shrugged. "The treaty doesn't own us. We're bigger than it is. We made the treaty with these people." He waved at the Cullens and me. "We can change it if we all agree to change it. for as long as we want." Some of the others looked skeptical. "We have powerful enemies coming to destroy us. The only weapon strong enough to hold them back is in this treaty. We have to use it. Then, when we've sent our enemies away, we can restore the treaty, like putting a knife back in its sheath."

Billy turned to face the older man. "You really think it's all right, letting that happen - letting Bella be turned into…"

The old man snorted. "This girl fights like a cornered cat to be one of the Cold Ones. I believe them when they say they imprint like our wolves do. She wants it; let her have it. Let it be a gift for our allies, who also want the girl with them."

"Gift! Why are we giving them gifts?" Jacob asked irritably.

"Because they gave one to us. It would have been easy for them to turn those other Cold Ones, the ones who enforce their laws, in our direction. They could have had us all wiped out, and made things easier for themselves; but they didn't." He looked at Billy. "Your grandfather trusted their leader, and _I_ trust him."

"It means one more vampire in the world," Jacob complained. "One we're apparently not allowed to kill."

"Yes," Old Quil agreed. "One more. But they have just taken away - how many? Twenty?"

"They couldn't have done it without our help," Jared said.

"No. And we couldn't have done it without their help. Maybe we could have killed all the Cold Ones, but we would have lost some of our people." He looked around, but no one contradicted him.

Sam said to Carlisle, "Give us a minute." The group drew away a few feet and talked intently for much longer than a minute. I looked up at Edward, who smiled reassuringly. The deliberations, it seemed, were going in our favour. At last, they all returned to face us.

Old Quil looked at me. "You will have what you want. I hope you don't regret your decision." He walked stiffly to the edge of the group and sat back down in his folding chair.

"There are a few ground rules," Sam said, addressing Carlisle now. "The exception is for Bella only. Once she's…like you, we'll consider her part of the Cullen family and included in the treaty. In other words, we can't harm her as long as she doesn't harm any human being."

Carlisle nodded. "Understood."

"You think you can keep her under control?" Sam asked dubiously. "I saw the way those newborns acted. Can you get her through that stage without somebody getting killed?"

"We can. There will be seven of us to protect Bella; I'm sure we'll manage."

"It's not Bella that'll need protecting," Jared remarked.

"In a sense, it will. Bella would be distraught if she lost control and killed."

"The Bella we know now would be upset. She'll be different, after." Billy sat stiffly, his arms crossed. I assumed he'd taken the _con_ side in the debate.

"Her character will not change significantly. She may lose control, but she would feel the same remorse if she caused someone's death." I saw Esme bow her head sadly. I knew Esme had killed at least once when she was first changed, although it was hard to imagine. Esme was the gentlest, kindest person I'd ever met. She must have been overwhelmed with guilt when it happened.

"Those newborns didn't seem very reluctant to kill," Paul pointed out sharply.

"They had not been taught it was even possible to avoid killing. Victoria and her assistant would have assured them their instinct to kill was uncontrollable, that they should not even attempt to repress it. Since the instinct does, in fact, feel uncontrollable in the early months, they would have accepted their fate."

"I'd kill myself if it happened to me," Jacob said.

"That is a common reaction," Carlisle replied calmly. "However, it is not actually possible - at least, not by any method I was able to discover."

Jacob blinked, and the others fell silent as the implication seemed to sink in.

Leah spoke up for the first time, her voice angry as usual. "How can they go on killing, then - not you, but all the other vampires - if they keep the same character they had when they were human? Don't they hate themselves?"

"Some do," Carlisle agreed, "and a few besides ourselves have found a way to live as we do."

"Not many," Jacob said.

"No, not many. Some will find a compromise by hunting as infrequently as possible; by only hunting those already near death. Some will try to atone for their acts in some way, such as leaving anonymous donations to charity. Some will hunt only humans they know to be evil or intent on harming others." Edward glanced his way briefly. "Many will rationalize what they do. For example, some, like the Volturi, consider themselves as far above humans as humans are above farm animals, and feel as little compunction over hunting them. I have even heard vampires argue that we are Nature's way of limiting the excess human population."

"The environmental excuse," Paul said. "That's a good one."

"The majority, however, come to accept killing humans as an inevitable part of their condition. Bella will _not_ be one of those. She will be well cared for."

Sam looked around at those with him. "I think we have a deal, then." Clearly, it was not a unanimous decision. Billy still sat with his arms crossed, looking away from me, and Jacob stood in the same posture beside him. Leah looked angry. A few wore expressions that were unreadable. Old Quil's face was the most inscrutable, sorrow and pain mixed in his expression with surrender and acceptance. He was the only one who looked me in the eye.

"Yes," Carlisle agreed. "We'll keep your terms. Thank you for making this concession."

"When are you leaving?" Billy asked.

"In a few weeks."

Billy glanced at me and almost immediately looked away. "Your dad's going to be real cut up about this. I mean, I assume he's going to think you're…"

I felt a wave of sadness. "Yeah. You'll look after him, right?" I looked from Billy to Sue, who nodded.

"We will," Seth agreed, looking at his mother.

Sam turned to go, and the others followed him. Paul put an arm around Rachel's shoulders to lead her away, but she stopped him and turned back. "How did you like that book?"

I smiled at her. "I haven't finished it yet. Things have been hectic lately."

She grinned. "I was going to email you a few more titles, if that's okay."

"Sure. Thanks. I'll let you know when I'm done _The Heir_, okay?"

Rachel seemed ready to launch into another book conversation, but Paul put in, "If you can do it before the…before things change."

I felt a little rebellious, and told Rachel, "My email address will be the same. I'll talk to you about books any time. If you're _allowed_ to, that is."

She looked at Sam thoughtfully. "I'm not part of the pack, so Sam doesn't have any authority over who I email. I'll keep in touch."

"Thanks. That'll be nice." We smiled at each other, and she and Paul walked away after the rest.

Alice giggled. "Bella, you're a born diplomat."

"That wasn't diplomacy. I like Rachel." Edward picked me up in his arms. "She majored in English Lit," I added in open tribute. Studying literature in college sounded like some kind of dream vacation to me. I'd always assumed I'd have to study something more practical.

"You could do that, too," Edward pointed out. "As many times as you like."


	23. Epilogue: Baggage Check

There was a 'keep' pile, a 'discard' pile, and a 'give away' pile. Everything I owned was going into one of the three, in preparation for my leaving Charlie's house and moving to New Hampshire, and from there to points beyond. The 'keep' pile was as small as I could manage, although I was taking most of my books with me. Several boxes of them were stacked by my bedroom door.

Charlie was at work, and Edward and his family were hunting, so I'd decided to devote the day to sorting and packing. A load of laundry was in the washer and another in the dryer, and I was giving my bedroom a good final cleaning. An open suitcase was on my bed, half full.

I'd been told by Alice to bring minimal clothing along, since she planned to do a complete wardrobe makeover on me following the move, so my 'after' self would be properly dressed until I was fit to go shopping again. Accordingly, I'd assigned most of the clothes I owned, including the more fashion forward of Alice's contributions, to be given away, and kept only essentials, like jeans and tee shirts. Edward had wiped my computer hard drive and taken back any borrowed CD's which might be found and give rise to questions.

I was ready to go. In fact, I was beyond ready. I was so excited about my future, I had to act a little bit subdued around Charlie. He'd find my anticipation too keen even for the prospect of attending an ivy-league school. Which, of course, I would not actually be attending.

Edward had made one last-ditch attempt to change my mind, suggesting that I could at least wait an extra year and experience college from a human perspective. He hadn't made much headway.

As I was carrying my laundry back upstairs, I passed the living-room display of family photographs Charlie had set out on the fake mantlepiece above the fake fireplace. The arrangement that had remained in place for almost eighteen years had finally been shifted. Now Mom was present only in one of my baby pictures, the wedding photograph had been put away, my graduation photo had been framed and added, along with an informal snapshot of Sue Clearwater in a pretty pewter frame.

The picture of Sue had been there about a week. I hadn't mentioned it to Charlie, not directly. I just picked it up one day and looked at it, while Charlie was sitting nearby on the sofa, smiled and put it carefully back in place. I figured that showed my approval clearly enough without requiring any kind of actual conversation about it. I had made a lot of headway in learning to open up to people, but Charlie hadn't changed, and I knew enough to stick with the indirect approach.

I was back in my room, sorting clothes, when the image of Mom holding the two-month-old me in her arms passed through my mind. I stopped working as a sudden realization hit me: I was never going to be a mother. I'd known that for some time, and I'd never had much interest in motherhood anyway, but the fact that I would be irrevocably cut off from the possibility struck me forcefully all at once. I remembered the little daydream I'd had once, of meeting the human Edward and having a family with him, beautiful babies with his reddish-brown hair and the green eyes he'd once possessed. The dream overwhelmed me with its sweetness, and its impossibility. To my surprise and embarrassment, tears began flowing down my face, and the more I tried to control myself, the faster they came.

I'd been so focused on the new life I was fighting to have, I'd almost ignored the old life I was leaving behind. Now the many things I was throwing in the 'discard' pile began to run through my mind, one by one, and I became intensely aware of their value. I was very glad nobody else was in the house as I began to cry harder, sobbing aloud.

At first I cried over important things. I cried because I would never see my parents again. I cried at the thought of Mom and Charlie grieving over my supposed death.

I cried because I would remain a teenager forever, and never gain the perspective and insight of a mature woman, like Sue; or the wisdom of old age, like Old Quil. I might gain knowledge and experience, but never real change. I was just beginning to appreciate how important that was, and what I was losing by remaining eternally eighteen.

I sat down on the bed, crying noisily, as the enormity of the loss overcame me. I gave up trying to stop, just let the tears have their way with me.

After ten minutes or so, Edward came through my window, startling me. "Alice saw you," he explained briefly, sitting on the bed and taking me into his arms. Even though I hated having him see me like this, I clung to him, his presence making me feel safe and grounded in the middle of my uncontrollable grief.

Fresh tears began each time I thought of another part of my human life I was renouncing. I even cried for silly, insignificant things. That I could never go out in public on a sunny day. That I would never taste lobster again. That I could never impetuously decide to have my hair cut, knowing it would grow back. That I would never again sleep, or dream, or blush, or get the hiccups, or have a pulse, or get a brain freeze, or trip and fall, or forget.

I even cried because I wasn't sad _enough_ over what I was giving up. I knew in my heart that there was nothing I wanted more than to be strong and beautiful, like Edward; to be a perpetually young, eternally lovestruck teenager. I was eager to leave all these human things behind so I could live with Edward in that unchanging bubble of perfect love and devotion. I _wanted_ it, and I felt a little ashamed that I wasn't more reluctant to throw away the potential my human life represented. Even though I finally recognized the value of that life, it wasn't nearly enough to make me reconsider.

Last, and silliest, of all, I realized that soon I would be unable to cry tears, and at that thought my sobs grew loud and uncontrollable, a final burst of violent sorrow before my weeping gradually slowed, and stopped.

I rested quietly in Edward's arms for a minute, waiting, but it was definitely over. I sat up and looked at him, wiping my eyes. "I'm sorry about all that. It's done now." Before he could speak, I got up and went to the bathroom, splashed cold water on my face and blew my nose. I came back to find him standing uncertainly in the middle of the bedroom. "It's okay, Edward, really."

He sat down in the rocking chair and I curled up in his lap with a sigh. "Bella, you can't just leave it at that! I've never seen you so unhappy. Please tell me what's going on."

I hesitated. "I would, but I'm afraid you'll misunderstand and get all weird about it."

He raised an eyebrow. "I'll do my best to avoid that." He brushed my hair gently away from my face. "Tell me, Bella."

"It's hard to explain but…I guess I was saying goodbye to my human life."

His face became grave. "And it upset you to this extent?"

"Well…it was mostly the way everything hit me at once. I told you before that I'm good at repressing unpleasant things." He nodded, giving me a half smile. "I guess I did too good a job of repressing all this. I started thinking about a couple of things I was leaving behind, and it sort of escalated. I kept going over all the human things I'd be letting go of, and crying over every single one." I grimaced. "It was pretty silly, I guess."

"Bella, no part of this is silly." He looked down at me, his face serious. "You're telling me you've reconsidered?"

It took me a moment to grasp what he meant. "No! Of course not! How can you even ask that? After everything we've gone through - after the way I fought with you, and your family, and the Quileutes - how can you think for one second that I would reconsider?"

"Bella, love, it doesn't matter. You're free to change your mind. Nothing you've said or done before obligates you to proceed. It's entirely your choice."

"It _is_ my choice, Edward. That hasn't changed."

"But if it causes you this much pain, how can it be the right decision?"

"Just because it's the right decision, doesn't mean it's an easy one."

He looked uncertain. "When I see you grieving like this, I have to wonder."

"But I _should _grieve! I'm saying goodbye to my human life, and I _ought_ to be sad. I kind of brushed it off before, because I was so busy looking forward; but I realize that a human life is a wonderful thing, and it's worth grieving over. That doesn't mean I'm doing the wrong thing. It's sad like…like giving up your childhood and becoming an adult is sad. You understand that, don't you?"

"I do understand, love. I just don't want you to regret your decision later."

"Edward, I want this more than anything. I never had any doubts about what I wanted to do." I touched his face. "Maybe you could understand better if you put yourself in my place." He looked puzzled. "If you were the one who was human, would you do it? Let yourself be changed, so you could be with me forever?"

"Without the slightest hesitation."

"And it wouldn't seem like a sacrifice, would it?" I kissed him softly, and he pulled me closer. "Not if you felt about me the way I do about you. It would seem like…being offered the Hawaiian Islands in exchange for whatever cash was in your wallet at the time."

He laughed. "An interesting metaphor."

"But you'd still have to open your wallet and fork over that money. Nothing's free."

He sighed. "I understand. Will you just promise me, for my own peace of mind…"

"Yes?"

"If you do reconsider, you'll speak up? Even if you're seconds from being changed, you can simply say you've decided not to go through with it, and nothing more will be said."

"If that makes you feel better, I promise." He rocked me for a while. "Can I tell you something else, without you gloating over it?"

He grinned. "I make no promises. I'll have to hear it first."

"I'm glad you didn't change me earlier, when I wanted you to. I'm glad we waited this long."

"I think I can refrain from gloating over that; but why?"

"There were things I needed to do first."

"You had a to-do-before-becoming-immortal list?"

"I didn't know I had, until recently."

"What was it you needed to do?"

"Well, the obvious: finish school and move away, so we could resolve things with my parents." I sighed, and he rubbed my shoulder soothingly. "It will be bad for them, but a little better than if we had to fake my sudden disappearance while I was still living here."

"We'll find a way to make it as painless as possible for them."

"I know."

"What else?"

"I had to…well, this is hard to explain." I thought a moment. "I told you about the time Rosalie came and talked to me." He nodded. "She warned me that any serious emotional baggage I had now would be carried over with me after the change, and I might not be able to get rid of it then. She used herself as an extreme example. Poor Rosalie!" I added impulsively. "Well, Alice told me some things along those lines, and a couple of others too, indirectly. Alice said I put up walls." He looked a little offended, and I added, "It's true. Even with the people I love most, I keep a little distance. I didn't want to be like that, especially not forever, so I tried to work on it."

"Work on it, how?"

"I did some real soul-searching, and even used your professor's technique to let my subconscious surface, if that's what you call it."

"Interesting."

"I started with my feelings about you, because you're the centre of the universe, right?" He grinned. "I realized I'd made a bit of a breakthrough when I stopped being jealous of Lauren or Tanya, or anybody else, for that matter. I didn't have to be insecure about other women, because I knew how you really felt about me. I told you about that."

He smiled, touching my cheek. "You did."

"So I…this will probably sound weird, but I started picturing the walls I kept up. I mean, picturing them as actual walls, and figuring out why they're there, and taking them down."

"Like dismantling the Berlin Wall."

I giggled. "Exactly like that. I realized I could take the walls away, because I had nothing to be afraid of. You came back to me. You weren't going to leave me again. I can't do anything to make you stop loving me." He cupped my head, looking into my eyes, and I found I had to look away in order to remember what I was saying. "I realized it was unfair to you, keeping up barriers. Knowing how much you love me, I should feel safe saying anything to you, doing anything. I should be the most confident woman in the whole world. I should feel like a _goddess_."

I looked into his eyes again, and quickly looked away.

"I always felt like I didn't quite deserve your love. Partly it was just because you were so wonderful, I felt unworthy. Partly it was because I was taught to mistrust those emotions. And also, it seemed like it was because…this is going to sound really stupid!" I warned, blushing.

"Because you thought yourself an accident?"

I gaped at him. "How did you know?"

"I _did_ earn a degree in psychology."

"Only to the BA level," I muttered, and he laughed.

"I also gained some additional insight from the journals you gave me."

"Oh! Well, you're right. Somehow that idea kept surfacing. I never thought it bothered me that much, but I started to remember Renee talking to Charlie on the phone, and saying she got 'trapped' in Forks. Trapped by me, that is."

He frowned. "She shouldn't have said those things in front of you."

"She didn't know I was listening. Anyway, she warned me from the time I was thirteen about being careful, and gave me all these talks about, er, protection, and how important it was to prevent 'accidents,' and to avoid youthful commitments and early marriage. Mom wasn't the kind of parent who lectured very often, but this subject was the one exception, so it made an impression, I guess. I didn't understand how much it affected me.  
"It was the resistance to marriage that was the most obvious thing I was working on, but I started to see that it was only the tip of the iceberg. It was love I didn't trust. Letting myself be loved. I knew there was no reason to feel that way, not with you. So I…started to take the wall down."

I let myself look into his eyes again. Potent.

"I gave you my journals, because I knew you'd like to have them, but also because they were so secret. It was taking away another barrier between us.  
"Once I'd done that, I was able to let the walls down between me and…other things. Your family, and the way they love me, for example."

"I'm very glad."

"And I think, once my Berlin Wall was down, it let in all the feelings about being human that I'd kept at a distance. And that's _not_ a bad thing," I said, as his expression became sad. "I had a chance to really know what I was saying goodbye to. If there was anything I'd seriously regret losing, I should know about it _now_, not later."

"Agreed."

I hesitated before bringing up another matter. "You felt a little bit like that, at least when we first met."

"Like what?"

"Like you were unworthy, didn't deserve to have me love you."

"That was rather different. I was a danger to you."

"Is that the only reason?" He looked at me warily. "You thought you were a monster, and being in my life could only be bad for me. That's why you left." He nodded. "You felt guilty for loving me. Am I wrong?"

He was silent a long time, seeming to be lost in thought. I waited as patiently as I could.

"You're not wrong," he said at last, in a different, subdued voice. "I had a Berlin Wall of my own; but I didn't dismantle mine. You did that for me, brick by brick.

"When I first knew you, and realized I loved you, I thought of myself as an intrusion on your life. I believed the ideal thing would be to leave you alone altogether, to go on loving you forever without your ever becoming aware of me. I was too weak to achieve that end, but my goal, at that time, was to have as little influence on your life as possible, because I believed I could only diminish your life, not enrich it."

I looked at him reproachfully, and he smiled and kissed my fingers.

"Things began to change for me one night when I'd stolen into your room while you slept. You began to talk in your sleep. You said my name." He held my face gently between his hands and looked at me. "You asked me to stay with you. In your dream, I was with you, and you welcomed my presence. Somehow that knowledge overwhelmed me. It was then that I was changed forever.  
"Bit by bit, you took down the wall between us. You refused to see me as the monster I knew myself to be. You gave me your heart without a second thought. You gave me yourself, and in doing that, you gave me back myself - my humanity, in a sense - until I began to see myself as you see me. As a man, not a monster. And the last brick came down when…" He sat quietly a moment.

"Early in the spring," he continued slowly, almost reluctantly, "I asked you to talk about your feelings regarding marriage, and our wedding. At the end, you spoke about the bridegroom you were going to meet: me. You were half asleep for part of it, so I'm not certain how much you remember."

"A little."

"You said something that affected me very deeply. You said I was your reward."

"I don't remember saying that; but of course, you are."

He fixed his eyes on a far corner of the room. "When I first knew I loved you, I struggled with my place in your life. I wanted to be with you more than anything, but I felt I could only hurt you. Every moment with you was Heaven and Hell at the same time. Learning that you loved me in return was intense joy - but also shame, because I'd somehow insinuated my way into your heart, where I didn't belong. I couldn't bring myself to leave you alone; and soon I realized that your luck was so incredibly bad, I had an excuse for staying with you, for your own protection.

"In those days, I had an image that kept going through my mind - something out of a fairy tale, a metaphor that represented our situation. I saw you burdened with a sort of goblin, some evil personification of Fate that had attached itself to you. It brought you terrible luck, placed you in dangerous situations, and finally, as the most malevolent act of all, caused you to fall in love with a vampire. In my image, I was the instrument this foul harpy was using against you; and yet I helped it to forward its plan, because I could not stay away from you. You can't imagine how I hated myself for that."

It was hard to stay quiet, but I realized he was telling me something important, something he found difficult to relate; so I remained still and listened.

"One night, while thinking of something else, I suddenly saw my fairy tale differently. It was like a tapestry that shows an image on one side, but a different image, made from the same threads, on the reverse side. I saw the same circumstances interpreted in another way." He looked at me to see if I was following, and I nodded. "In this new daydream, fate wasn't being turned against you by a vindictive harpy; it was being guided by a guardian angel of sorts. A reckless angel, and one with an odd sense of humour, but with no evil intentions. She wasn't leading you to disaster; she was only leading you to _me. _Placing you in my path."

He met my eyes for a moment, and this time he was the one who had to look away.

"In that version of my daydream, I wasn't your punishment. Instead, you were my reward.  
"The fancy only lasted a minute, and of course I dismissed it. It was a long time before I could accept that it might actually be true. But…" He finally looked at me directly and held my gaze. "Never, for one second, did it occur to me to imagine that _I_ might be _your_ reward."

I met his eyes. "And can you believe it now?"

"I can. It seems almost too incredible to be true, but yes. I can accept that we're one another's reward."

We sat still, holding each other and basking in the sense of well being that always came with being together.

"So," he said finally, "am I right in thinking you've overcome your resistance to marriage for good and all? That the idea of a wedding no longer terrifies you?"

"Yes. I'm still not crazy about the big, showy wedding extravaganza, but I'm actually happy we're getting married." I blushed at the joyful expression on his face. "I could even face the white dress and bridal bouquet thing, if necessary."

"As I've told you before, love, I don't care what kind of wedding we have, as long as we're married at the end of it. I'd be cautious about revealing your thoughts to Alice, however."

I laughed. "I will. And once I've fulfilled that obligation, there's nothing to delay the final step."

"You're really certain about that?"

"I am. I've said goodbye to…anything I need to say goodbye to. I couldn't be more sure of my decision. All that remains is the fateful bite."

He grinned wryly. "_That's_ been hanging over your head since that first day in Biology class."

"Well, you'll have your chance at last. But what about you? Are you really prepared to do that…to do it without remorse? Can you actually be _happy_ to do it?"

"Just as you can manage to be happy about being a bride?"

I looked him in the eye. "You're avoiding my question."

"Not for the reasons you're suspecting, love. I'm just…embarrassed. I'm looking forward to your change immensely, and it feels selfish. I feel as if I should be battling my own feelings and fighting it to the bitter end, but I can't. I can hardly wait to have you with me as an equal; as a real member of my family; as my wife. To no longer have to constantly worry about your safety. To share everything with you." He held me tighter. "To have a genuine honeymoon."

I blinked. "That's kind of…too much to think about right now. But yes, definitely." I sighed as he began kissing my throat. "And after that, maybe I'll reconsider your offer of a new car."

That got his attention. He raised his head. "Really? You're planning to get rid of the truck?"

"No. I still love my truck. But it doesn't seem so strange any more to think about riding around in a Maserati."

He laughed delightedly. "You really have moved on!"

"Yes. That may have been my last holdout, but it's gone now."

"And that means…"

"I'm ready," I said, with absolute confidence.

"_We're _ready," he corrected.

"Yes. We're ready."

* * *

**The End**


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